Naruto Uzumaki: The Youkai Files
by DragonMasterFlex
Summary: The descriptions of the results of the Shiki Fujin weren't entirely accurate. A not so dead Naruto now finds himself at the mercy of his new employers: a creepy headmaster of a school and a toddler who rules over life and death. Nar/Ros Vamp/YYH Crossover
1. On to the Next Great Adventure

**Summary:** The descriptions of the results of the Shiki Fujin weren't entirely accurate. A not so dead Naruto now finds himself at the mercy of his new employers: a creepy headmaster of a school and a toddler who rules over life and death.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, Rosario+Vampire, or YYH

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**On to the Next Great Adventure**

Some hero's have great beginnings.

"Ah Shit." blurted the soul of Naruto as he hovered above his lifeless corpse in the middle of nowhere.

For others not so much, sure the teenager expected to die from calling on the power of the Shiki Fujin, but he was supposed to be in the belly of the Death God alongside his perverted sensei battling it out with snake face and all those Akatsuki bastards. Instead he found himself in spirit form hovering high above the battle field littered with all their corpses.

"Ha! You bastards will forever remember this as the day you almost caught the great Naruto Uzumaki!" shouted the blond teenager as he did a celebratory dance.

After training for nearly three years with Jiraiya, one would figure that such an early death would be a disappointment for one Naruto Uzumaki. However, considering he just became a legend by wiping out the most dangerous criminal organization using a combination mass shadow clone jutsu and the reaper death seal, some celebration was in order. The most wanted men in the world, downed by some punk kid and his super perverted teacher. Even the pedophile snake got his just deserts as he had re-aligned himself with Akatsuki in exchange for a quicker means to getting into Sasuke's body. They didn't expect the old pervert and his apprentice to have come up with the ultimate kamikaze middle finger to the Akatsuki in the event they were ambushed. As he watched the only survivors of the battle, the toad summons, depart to tell the tale of his valiant battle only one question came to mind.

"Eh, what happens now?" questioned Naruto aloud as he scratched his head in confusion.

"Sorry, I'm late. I just had to deal with this horrible perverted old man." a cheery feminine voice called out from behind him.

"AHH!" screamed Naruto as he whirled around to face a pretty girl with light blue hair in a pink kimono floating on an oar. His shock subsiding as her statement flashed through his mind again.

"Did he introduce himself with this lame dance and call himself the mighty toad hermit?" he deadpanned.

She nodded yes in response.

"Same old Ero-sennin." Naruto muttered with a light chuckle.

"Ero-sennin..." she giggled, "I believe that fits him quite well. Ah, I forgot to introduce myself! I'm a pilot of the river stix, who guides dead souls to the other side. You don't have worry about any fancy titles, however, just call me Botan!"

"Wait a minute, I thought I was supposed to be in the belly of that big creepy death god guy?" questioned a confused Naruto.

"Oh, that's just the Chief Ogre. He likes to mess with the people who summon him to this realm. Normally you would have gone with the old man after completing that technique, but you are a special case! Just hang on, once we get back there's someone who can explain your ordeal." stated Botan

"Get back where?" asked Naruto.

"To the Spirit World of course! Just hang on!" exclaimed Botan as she glided over and grabbed his hand.

"WHOA!" cried out Naruto as she flew off at high speeds.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The journey to the Spirit World wasn't long, but it did allow Botan to explain some of the basics about the afterlife.

"So do all dead people pass through here?" questioned Naruto as they made their way inside the large doors of the castle.

"Most cases. For the truly horrible souls a portal appears the sucks them into the deepest pits of hell, like most of those men you just defeated." she answered.

"Is that what happened to the kyuubi as well?" Naruto asked.

"No, due to your situation things were a bit more complicated." she vaguely replied.

"So who's this guy that's suppose to explain my situation?" Naruto inquired.

"His name is King Yama, you'd do well to show him some respect unlike you usually do with authority figures." Botan told him in a scolding fashion.

Naruto snorted, "No promises, I call 'em like I see 'em."

"He calls the shots, and he can send you to oblivion if he wants to!" she warned him.

Naruto laughed it off, "Ha! That's only if he can defeat the great Naruto Uzumaki!"

"You do realize that you have lost all of you powers since you are dead." she deadpanned.

Naruto suddenly paled._ 'Shit! I was banking on the Sexy Justu!'_ thought the blond.

As they marched towards a large set of doors, Naruto laughed at the chaos of all the ogres scrambling around trying to get work done.

"Sir, I've brought the boy you requested to see." stated a bowing Botan after the doors closed behind them.

"Where is he?" asked Naruto, looking all around for this mysterious figure.

"I'm right down here." replied a voice from just in front of him.

Naruto looked down to see the toddler form of Koenma waving at him. He doubled over with laughter at the sight, "You didn't tell me the boss was still in diapers."

"I'll have you know I've been fully potty trained for centuries!" retorted Koenma with a tick on his forehead as he moved into his chair.

"Sure and I'm related to the Yondaime Hokage." retorted Naruto.

_'As a matter of fact you are. But that's a matter for later.'_ thought Botan.

"Yes, now I should clear up a misconception with you first of all. Now you were under the impression that the cost of using the Shiki Fujin technique was eternity of combat in the belly of the death god with whatever foe you dragged with you. That is incorrect, a result of a mistranslation as the technique was passed down. The truth is that instead of being judged and passing on to the afterlife your soul is bound in service to my father King Yama or in your case me." said Koenma.

"Wait a minute that means..." began Naruto.

"Yes, all the people you know who used that technique reside here in the spirit world. A few of them wanted to meet you." stated Koenma as he gestured towards the door.

At this statement the door opened and four people entered. He recognized the first even if he did look at bit younger from when he last saw him.

"Old man!" exclaimed Naruto in shock at reunited with the Sandaime.

"Naruto, wasn't expecting to see you pass through here for quite some time. Though I must say I'm very proud of your victory." greeted Sarutobi giving his surrogate grandson a hug.

"You know me old man, had to surpass all the hokage's by not just saving the village, but saving the world!" replied Naruto as he stepped back and gave him a thumbs up. He the turned his head and the second figure he recognized immediately.

"Ero-sennin! How the hell did you get up here before me!" demanded a grinning Naruto as he smacked his sensei on the shoulder.

"What took you so long brat! Get lost? I already found the hot springs..." he was cut off by being bashed in the head by the redheaded woman standing behind him.

"Baka Ero-sennin dattebane!" she muttered. Her antics went unnoticed however as with Jiraiya out of the way, Naruto recognized the man standing behind him.

"Yondaime..." stammered Naruto.

"Hey Na..." started the older blond only to be cut off.

"YOU IDIOT!" roared Naruto as he decked his former home's most celebrated hero with a punch to the face. Everyone just stared at the scene gobsmacked.

"Do you know how much of a pain in the ass that damn fox was? I outta..." Naruto's rant was interrupted as he was glomped by the red haired women who was silently crying.

"Don't worry lady. I ain't going to beat up your husband. I respect the man, but he's still an absolute bastard for picking some random kid to carry the fox." said Naruto as he tried to calm the woman down by embracing her.

"Random kid?" questioned the woman holding him. Minato looked up at Naruto, rubbing his sore cheek as realization dawned on his face.

"I guess neither of them told you. Probably to protect you from my enemies. I didn't pick some random kid, I picked you our son." said Minato as he reached his feet.

He suddenly went slack in his mothers arms stunned, "Son?"

"Yeah brat, these are your parents Kushina Uzumaki and Minato Namikaze." informed Jiraiya.

Suddenly it all came together for Naruto. The pieces in his life fit in place. However, instead of fainting or going on a rampage he twirled his mother around in the air causing her to giggle before setting her back down and doing his second victory dance of the day.

"Take that teme's! Naruto Uzumaki is the son of the greatest Hokage! Oh Yeah!" He suddenly paused in his celebration and stared down Jiraiya with a look that promised pain.

"You've had almost three years you could have told me this! All those damn times you went off peeping!" ranted Naruto as he proceeded to beat the crap out of the toad sage.

"Not the face! Not the..Yes the face! Yes the face!" pleaded Jiraiya as Kushina had joined in on the pervert beat down at the mention of his peeping.

"Teach you to peep instead training your godson! And this for trying to corrupt him!" ranted the redhead.

"Heh! He's definitely our son alright! Looks like me and acts like you!" exclaimed Minato as he pulled his wife and son away from his old sensei.

"You got that right!" giggled Botan.

Naruto suddenly shook free from his fathers grasp turning away from the man with a 'hmph'.

"You're not still mad at me are you? I know..." began Minato only to be cut off by Naruto.

"I'm not mad about the fox." Naruto replied, waving his hand in a dismissive fashion. He turned to face his father with a demented gleam in his eye, "How come I got your lame hair! If I had mom's pretty straight red hair, the girls would have been all over me!"

Kushina blushed at her son's compliment, while a vision of Naruto with straight read hair giving a grin and thumbs up appeared to Naruto and Minato.

"Ah yeah I can see it! You'd look really good, but then you wouldn't have any of my features anymore." said Minato.

"Yeah, I guess I'm already awesome enough as it is!" replied a grinning Naruto.

"Hey how come these two don't get lame nick names!" whined Jiraiya as he pointed at Minato and Kushina.

Naruto snorted, "Cuz, they're not perverted old men like you two or drunken a old hag like Grandma Tsunade."

Kushina doubled over with laughter, "Oh man! You call her Grandma! That's classic!"

Minato shook his head in disbelief, "How you didn't make up here earlier I'll never know."

"No respect I tell you! No respect!" complained Jiraiya to his old sensei.

"Ahem!" coughed Koenma, regathering their attention. "As lovely as this little reunion is we have more matters to attend to. Now, I already explained that as result of the Shiki Fujin technique your soul is now bound in service to the spirit world. This is the case for all your family here, who work here in various capacities. Your case is different, since the deal for the technique is one soul, and your body contained two and we've already taken the fox."

"So what? You're sending me back? I'm not dead yet?" questioned Naruto.

"In a matter of speaking yes. You will be returning to the living world, however not to the one you are accustomed too. Due to the work of the one known in your home world as the Sage of the Sixth paths, I cannot send you back to the shinobi world. The only jurisdiction we have over the passage of souls to and from that realm is via the shiki fujin and one other forbidden technique. To make a long story short, you will be commissioned as a Spirit Detective in a living world where we have jurisdiction." explained Koenma.

Naruto was completely lost, "A spirit what?"

"Yes!" exclaimed Kushina pumping her fist.

"Huh?" Minato looked at her confused.

"You don't get it! Since he's a spirit detective he'll be able to come to the spirit world and see us still!" exclaimed Kushina.

"Oh! And we'll be able to watch over him using the monitoring system!" added Minato.

"Oh no you don't! No spying on the Naruto, that's just creepy! You don't want to be like the old man and ero-sennin do you?" declared Naruto. _'I've already died one time! I'm definitely getting myself a girl, and I can't get anywhere with these two watching over me all the time!'_

"Hah! Say goodbye to your freedom gaki!" teased Jiraiya.

"At least I'm not going to be dead." Naruto shot back.

"Ouch! Low blow." comment Minato.

"He deserved it." replied Naruto.

"Sir, don't we already have a spirit detective? Yusuke was just hired a few days ago." questioned Botan.

Naruto was still lost on that part, "Eh, what the heck is a spirit detective?"

Sarutobi dumbed it down for him, "Just think of Lord Koenma as the hokage, and he'll be giving you various missions to fight against demons and monsters."

"I know that! I'm giving him a different jurisdiction. He'll be working for the headmaster at Youkai Academy. Plus now when Yusuke get's in over his head I can send someone even more qualified as back up!" proclaimed Koenma. _'Two birds with one stone! Now that creepy bastard can stop bugging me for assistance and I have something to hang over Yusuke's head!'_

An Ogre rushed into the room waving a paper that put an end to Koenma's celebration of his successful plan._  
_

"Lord Koenma sir, there's been trouble!" announced the Ogre as he handed the paper over.

Koenma's eyes nearly popped out of his head as he read it, "This is more than trouble! My dad's gonna kill me!"

"What's happened sir?" asked Botan.

"Three criminals have broken into the King's Vault and stolen the Orb of Baas, the forlorn hope mirror, and the shadow sword. The orb of bass steal's souls, the mirror provides a cryptic power at the full moon, and the sword turns anything it cuts into a demon. One would be bad enough, but all three is a nightmare!"

"Hello? You've got the #1 unpredictable bad ass ninja on your payroll now. This will be a piece of cake!" proclaimed Naruto giving him grin and a thumbs up.

Koenma's eye started to twitch, but Minato saved his son from a rant, "This won't be as easy as you think. Since your body does not possess the kyuubi anymore your chakra is going to be completely out of wack. For the time being you will be limited to your shadow clone technique, substitution and transformation."

"In the end the bastard fox still has the last laugh. I've lost all my new cool jutsu!" raged Naruto as he nearly yanked his hair out in frustration.

"Where is his body?" asked Kushina.

"In stasis right now. Ogre, go have the body of Naruto Uzumaki moved to the living world." ordered Koenma.

"Yes, sir!" saluted the Ogre as he exited.

"Botan, you've been promoted from assistant to manager of these two knuckle heads. I'll go inform Yusuke of his new case and new occasional partner." stated Koenma as he vanished from his office.

"Common, let's go get you prepared for your return to your body." stated Botan.

Naruto rushed over and hugged Kushina, before whispering something into her ear causing her to laugh.

"See ya later Dad, Gramps, and Ero-sennin!" declared Naruto.

Botan grabbed him by the ear and dragged him out of the room, "Stop clowning around, you've got work to do!"

"What did he say that was so funny?" asked Jiraiya.

"Oh just a little of this and that..." suddenly she moved and reappeared next to Minato with two orange books in her hand. "He was right, you did bring your smut with you."

The redhead loomed over Jiraiya with a maniacal gleam in her eye holding the books in one hand and matches in the other.

"Sensei! Minato! Help!" cried out Jiraiya old to find himself being held in a death grip by the two.

"It's your own fault." stated Minato.

"This hurts us more than it hurts you." added Sarutobi.

Jiraiya could only look on in horror as the last remnants of his literature were burned to ash in front of him.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

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A/N: This will be a Naruto/ YYH/Rosario+Vampire cross. All the action taking place in the worlds of the later two. Parings for naruto will include Botan, and two girls from Rosario to be determined later. First few chaps will be in YYH world before starting to shift between the two.


	2. Spirit Detectives Unite

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything

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**Spirit Detectives Unite**

Koenma had just finished a debriefing on the three criminals who stole the items, Hiei, Kurama, and Gouki, when an irate Botan barged into his office.

"Koenma sir! You've got to pull them back! Yusuke's too inexperienced, and Naruto is no where near his former capabilities. They'll both get ripped to pieces!" she yelled.

"I understand the odds are against them. I also would have preferred to start them on something smaller, but I don't have any other options." answered Koenma.

"Fine, but at least give them some time to train!" pleaded Botan.

"How much could Naruto regain and Yusuke learn in less than week?" he replied flippantly.

"A week? They couldn't possibly cause that much damage in a week, could they?" stammered a stunned Botan.

"The crooks aren't the problem," moaned Koenma. "In a week my father returns from vacation."

"King Yama...is coming back?" stuttered Botan.

"Yes, and if we haven't recovered those artifacts..well you know how my father is. Fire and Brimstone...the whole world will feel his wrath! That's why Yusuke and Naruto must succeed even at the cost of their lives. If it was only one of them I'd be more worried, but Yusuke has incredible potential and Naruto is a skilled and resourceful as they come."

"I understand Koenma, I'll return to the living world and aid them as much as I can." stated a determined Botan.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

As predicted by his father when Naruto returned to his body, he wasn't near the level in ability he obtained prior to his death. He still had a lot of chakra, but without the fox there he no longer had an endless supply to pull. His control had also gone to shit once again. Despite the handicap he jumped headlong into his first case after loading up with some weapons from the Spirit World armory. Using some shadow clones and the demon locator Botan gave him, he tracked the location of the trio of thieves to a forest just outside the city. Despite the stormy weather, the group had found an area that was completely dry. He hid himself amongst the trees, trying to gain some information on the three demons in the clearing.

"Oh, yes! This is perfect!" exclaimed Hiei as he jumped around the clearing slashing the shadow sword. After slashing one of the trees a small winged demon emerged from its trunk. It flew a short distance before dropping to the ground and turning into dead wood.

"If this sword can make demons from trees just think of what it will make from humans!" proclaimed Hiei. "I say we go to the next big city and carve out a thousand of them! We could raise an entire demon army!"

"I like the way you think Hiei. If we teach them to eat souls, I even know how we'll feed them all, the orb of baas!" he pulled the artifact out of his pocket and started laughing.

"Yes, and then once the moon is full we can use Kurama's weapon to take complete control." added Hiei. At this statement Kurama emerged from the shadows.

"Sorry, I must withdraw from this alliance." the redhead stated.

"WHAT!" exclaimed Hiei and Gouki in shock.

"Surely you're not backing out once we've gotten this far!" yelled Hiei.

"Yes, I am." replied Kurama calmly.

"All your years in the Human world have made you soft! You're nothing but a coward!" ranted Hiei.

"Who cares if he leaves. He just has no right to the loot. Give us the mirror and get outta here." ordered Gouki.

"I can't. I have a great need that requires its ability." replied Kurama.

"Alright..then I'll take it by force!" Gouki charged Kurama only to be interrupted by Yusuke.

"Excuse me neighbors!" declared the green clad spirit detective. Naruto nearly doubled over in laughter in his hiding spot. If this was the guy he's going to be working with, he envisioned them getting along great.

"Huh?" blurted the trio as they turned to face Yusuke entering the clearing holding up a branch.

"Couldn't help but notice there's no rain falling here. Maybe the next time you go stealing some magic toys, you should hide somewhere less obvious. Just a tip." he stated nonchalantly.

"Who are you and how do you know about the artifacts." demanded Hiei.

"Give us your name!" commanded Gouki.

"Hope you'd ask. Hello boys!" exclaimed Yusuku as he tossed the branch aside in dramatic fashion. "The name's Yusuke and I'm a spirit detective."

_'Well since our cover is blown, I guess I'll join the party as well. Time for a green beast special!'_ thought Naruto.

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!" Everyone in the clearing looked up at the yell that seemed to echo from everywhere. An orange and black blur entered the area and nailed Gouki with a kick to the face that knocked him on his ass.

Naruto landed and struck a pose, "Naruto Uzumaki, also a spirit detective."

"Spirit detectives?" questioned a confused and slightly dazed Gouki.

"Looks like Koenma came through after all." commented an amused Yusuke.

"Yeah and what a case he lined up! A midget, a pretty boy, and the reject love child between an ogre and an ape. You guys should start up a traveling circus!" mocked Naruto.

"These punks are just a couple of Koenma's lackeys. Must have been the only humans he could find. The one in green barely has any spirit energy and the one in the black and orange jumpsuit is nothing more than a low level thug." stated Hiei in a condescending manner.

"Midget sure does have a mouth on him." retorted Naruto.

Kurama merely turned and started walking out of the clearing. "Sorry, I don't have time to be arrested."

"Stop Kurama! You can't just walk out on us!" demanded Hiei as he jumped to follow him. Naruto quickly sent the two shadow clone he had hiding in the trees in pursuit.

"I guess that leaves the ugly one." Naruto stated

"Yeah how rude of them to leave, right when we were all just getting to know each other. So much for manners." joked Yusuke.

Gouki stood up and started laughing. "Don't worry kid. I'm much more polite than those two. I'll gladly turn myself in if I can't rip off your heads first."

"Sounds like a good deal, just don't pull my hair." remarked Yusuke.

"Yeah, and easy on threads. I just paid for these." added Naruto.

"You guys are a riot. Hold on just a second, I need a little pre-battle snack." stated Gouki as he pulled out the orb.

"Bastard!" growled Naruto as saw three souls floating around in the glowing orb.

"I love this little orb, never have to cook anymore. People don't realize how hard it is to eat human souls." Gouki paused as he chuckled and pulled a soul from the orb, "You've got to cook the human so he taste's good, but not enough to kill him. This thing takes all the guess work out of it! Pulls em from the body still alive, so all you get is good clean soul."

"Is that the little kid I found earlier?" questioned a shocked Yusuke dreading his answer.

"They're the best!" laughed Gouki as he swallowed the soul.

"Monster! Spit him out!" yelled Yusuke as he charged and kicked Gouki in the gut causing him to spit out the soul. He followed with a punch to the face that downed the giant and caused him to drop the orb which Naruto picked up.

"That's a knockout." stated Yusuke looking at the soul of the little boy as it flew back to its body.

"Looks, like this was easier than they thought." commented Naruto as he released the other two souls trapped in the orb.

"Yeah no sweat. Two more to go!" declared Yusuke.

"For humans you guys are pretty decent, managed to knock me down twice." The duo turned to face, Gouki who was back on his feat, seemingly unharmed.

"What hell? How are you not still on the ground? I hit you to hard for you to be up!" declared Yusuke.

Gouki laughed before growling and becoming engulfed in red energy as he transformed in his full demon form. He quickly slashed Yusuke with his claws knocking him backwards on his ass. Before Gouki could move again Naruto jumped in. He tossed the orb to Yusuke for safe keeping before forming four shadow clones to surround Gouki. They all chucked shuriken at the beast only for them to deflect off his hard skin harmlessly.

"My skin is a solid as rock, your puny toys won't work on me!" roared Gouki as he picked up a tree and swung it around dispersing all the clones and nailing Naruto in the side, sending him skidding in front of Yusuke.

"That bastard is strong." grumbled Naruto as he staggered to his feet.

"You got anything besides those clones and weapons?" asked Yusuke.

"Nothing useful. You?" responded Naruto.

"Oh yeah that spirit gun thing." Yusuke tried to gather energy in his finger when he remembered Koenma telling him it could only be used once a day. "Dammit! Mr. Iwamoto screws me over once again. I can only use that attack once a day. I'm out of ammo."

"Well, then we'll have to improvise." replied Naruto.

"Improvise?" questioned Yusuke.

"Try something completely insane and hope we get lucky!" declared Naruto. This time he formed a dozen shadow clones that all charged Gouki. The demon beast laughed as he merely stood there while all their attacks did no damage. He cracked off a piece of the tree he wielding earlier and wielding it like a club destroying the clones with ease. For such a large creature he was very agile for his size. When a few of the clones remained he charged one of them that had been idle thinking it to be the real one.

"Can't fool me!" roared Gouki as he bashed it over the head only for it to disappear in a puff of smoke.

"I've been fighting you the whole time!" yelled the real Naruto as he got the jump on him and flung some dirt in his eyes.

"AH!" yelled the beast as it thrashed around.

"Now!" signaled Naruto as a clone threw a kunai headed for Gouki's open mouth. However, the demon tilted its head at the last second causing the weapon to deflect of his oversized fangs.

"Dammit! So Close!" exclaimed Yusuke. He dropped the orb and tried to capitalize on the opening by charging in and delivering a kick to Gouki's head only for the demon to grab him and fling him into a tree.

"You Punk!" raged Gouki as he regained his sight, destroying the clone and punching the real Naruto into a tree next to Yusuke.

"Since you got rid of my diner, I'm going to eat your souls instead. Not without some seasoning of pain of course!" roared Gouki.

Naruto groaned in pain, "I've got one more plan, but we only have one shot and I need your help."

"Yeah, let me hear it." responded Yusuke. As Naruto quickly whispered his plan Yusuke posed an immediate objection.

"No way, am I doing that! You do it!" he exclaimed.

"I'm a better distraction. Don't worry if you get close enough you can throw it. You don't have to touch it." reassured Naruto.

"Fine, but this better work." stated Yusuke. Naruto withdrew a kunai before slipping off his equipment pouch and tossing it to Yusuke. The blond fighter stood up and dusted himself before charging Gouki.

"You want some more? Fine with me!" declared Gouki as he met the charge head on. Naruto ducked inside his guard and sliced at his abdomen only to come up short and slice off the button on his pants.

"You missed!" mocked Gouki as he slashed with his claws knocking the blond teen back.

"Did I?" remarked Naruto as he formed two clones. They jumped at Gouki attacking him high. Gouki easily deflected their attacks, but the clones were only a distraction as the real Naruto charged low to the ground and went into a feet first slide as he passed by Gouki. In one motion he pants the demon, underwear and all, causing Gouki stumble over leaving his rear end exposed for all to see.

"SENNIN GOROSHI!" yelled Yusuke charged close to the exposed Gouki and flung a kunai with an activated explosive tag wrapped around it right up his rear end. Yusuke continued running to the edge of the clearing and dove into the forest for cover with Naruto close behind.

"Ah Shit!" roared Gouki in pain, before the tag exploded lighting up the area. When the smoke cleared the charred remains of Gouki's upper torso lied in one half of the clearing with his lower extremities scattered about on the other side.

"Man those tags from spirit world really pack punch!" observed Naruto as Yusuke nodded absentmindedly in agreement.

"Did you boys have to be so messy?" scolded Botan as she entered the clearing.

"It was his idea!" declared Yusuke pointing at Naruto.

"It got the job done right?" defending Naruto giving a shrug and a grin.

The blue haired beauty sighed, "I suppose you're right. Congratulations on recovering the first artifact, however, the other two will be much more difficult. Gouki was the weakest of the three."

"Well, the midget will be tough to beat, but I don't think we have to worry about the redhead." stated Naruto.

"Why do you say that?" asked Yusuke.

"Well, I had some clones hidden the trees that I sent after them when they first left. The midget killed the one I sent after him easily. But the other guy..."

X-_A short time earlier_-X

After traveling to the edge of the forest Kurama stopped to face his pursuer. Naruto's clone emerged from the shadows, however, instead of attacking like Kurama expected he asked a question.

"So did why you withdraw from your little group?"

"It was you I sensed spying on our meeting the entire time. I do not have such grandiose aspirations like Hiei. I desire the artifact for a onetime personal use. Then I will return it." stated Kurama.

"You seem like a decent guy. Why did you join up with those fools?" asked Naruto.

"The only reason I joined was because I have great need of the forlorn hope mirror. It is a matter of life and death." answered Kurama.

"Can you guarantee that whatever you plan to do won't cause harm to innocent people?" asked Naruto.

"Yes, then I will turn myself in and deal with whatever punishment deemed necessary." responded Kurama.

"Alright you've got your time. If the boss gets a whiff that you are lying or you don't turn yourself in after the full moon, he'll end you." stated the clone before he vanished in a puff of smoke.

"A replication technique, interesting fellow." commented Kurama before he disappeared from the area.

X-_The present_-X

"No matter how trustworthy he may seem, he could still be lying to you." advised Botan. Naruto shrugged, he'd given his word and he was going to stick by it.

"I'd like to meet him for myself, but I trust Naruto. From what I've seen he's a pretty good judge of character." stated Yusuke.

"How would you know you've only met him today! You're just being lazy!" yelled Botan.

"He executed a demon who ate the souls of children by shoving a bomb up his ass. If that's not fair and balanced judgment then I don't know what is." replied Yusuke.

X-X-X-X-X-X

It had been a day since they defeated Gouki. Yusuke and Botan were in his room arguing about what to do about Kurama. Earlier that day, he encountered the redhead who oddly enough asked for a meeting with him.

"I'm going to meet with him like he asked." said Yusuke.

"It could be a trap! Haven't you forgotten his friend who nearly ripped you two limb from limb!" countered Botan.

"Speaking of two, where is my partner in crime?" questioned Yusuke.

"Around!" spoke a voice from above his head.

They both looked up to find Naruto standing on the sealing.

"Don't do that!" screamed Botan as she threw a book at him. He hopped down from the ceiling and dusted himself off.

_'My control has slightly improved, but it's still far worse than where I'd previously reached.'_ thought Naruto. "You don't need to worry so much Botan. Yusuke you probably noticed it when you saw him, he seemed really sad for some reason. I'll go too and if everything isn't on the up and up, I'll distract him while you blast him with that spirit gun thing."

"See nothing to worry about." added Yusuke.

"Fine, while you two do that I'll go and see what I can dig up on the forlorn hope mirror." replied Botan.

Their little meeting was the interrupted by Yusuke's mother.

"Yusuke, I've made us some dinner!" she cheerily interjected causing Yusuke to face vault. "Oh you have another new friend besides Botan!"

"Naruto Uzumaki Mam! Making sure this little punk keeps his paws of my girl here!" Naruto suddenly hugged Botan from behind, she blushed before smacking him into the wall.

"Stop clowning around!" yelled Botan.

"Mom! What are you doing! Next time at least knock! We were having a private conversation." yelled an irritated Yusuke.

She yanked him by shirt pleasant tone abandoned, "What kind of conversation could you being having that can't involve your mother!"

"Well, he's real shy when it comes to that girlfriend of his..." started Naruto with a cheesy grin. Yusuke looked at him in horror.

"Yes, he wanted some dating advice for going out with Keiko!" added Botan.

Yusuke gave the duo a murderous glare as they escaped while his mother launched a long rant about how excited she was about him finally taking the girl seriously.

X-X-X-X-X-X

Naruto was surprised that Kurama had them meet him at a hospital. Once he took them inside however, everything became much more clear. He introduced them to his deathly ill mother before taking them to the roof and explaining his origins as demon who planted his soul in a unborn child to save his own life. After originally planning to leave the human world after regaining his strength, he changed his mind after growing to love his mother and not wanting to hurt her. He blamed himself for her illness because he was such a difficult child to handle, always feeling she was inferior. After his heartfelt confession, the doctors came and told him that his mother had taken a turn for the worse. Kurama decided he couldn't wait any longer to use the mirror.

"There is something you're supposed to dish out to the forlorn hope to make it work. Do you know what that something is?" asked Yusuke.

"Yes, life." answered Kurama.

_'It figures the cost would be something like that. Looks like we've got no choice but to let him go through with it.'_ thought Naruto.

Kurama placed the mirror down on the rooftop and knelt in front of it.

"Forlorn hope I ask that you awake from your sleep and hear my plea. Reflect my greatest desire so that you can make it true." chanted Kurama.

Strange light started to emit from the mirror as it glowed and suddenly reflected an image of Kurama's mother.

"The happiness of this woman, is that what you desire?" questioned the mirror.

"It is." replied Kurama.

"Hey! Can't you hold on second, so we can work things out! There must be some other way to do this!" pleaded Yusuke.

Naruto pulled him back, "No, there's no time. Go ahead, if I were in your shoes I'd be doing the same."

Kurama nodded towards them, "Thank you for allowing me to do this."

"To grant this wish you must give your life. Is that what you desire?" asked the mirror.

"If that will save my mother's life then, yes I do." responded Kurama.

"Then your desire shall be fulfilled." stated the mirror.

Another strange light emitted from the mirror before sparks of lighting shot out wrapping around Kurama.

_'For you mother!'_ thought Kurama as the mirror started to pull on his life energy.

"No!" yelled Yusuke breaking away from Naruto and kneeling in front of the mirror, some of the lightning wrapping around him now. "Hey mirror guy! I want you to take my life instead! That way Kurama can live and still get his wish right?"

"This doesn't make sense! It's my wish!" yelled Kurama.

Images of his own mother weeping from his death flashed through Yusuke's mind, "Yeah well it doesn't make any sense for you to give your mother her life back only so she can spend the rest of it mourning the death of her son. I've seen that once before I don't want to see it again."

Suddenly Kurama and Yusuke were knocked back away from the mirror by Naruto.

"By your logic then, I should be the one to go. My mom is already dead. Mirror I'm your man!" yelled Naruto as the energy from the mirror now wrapped around him.

"Your desire shall be fulfilled!" declared the mirror as a bright white light emerged from it, enveloping the entire roof.

X-X-X-X-X-X

"I'm still alive! But what about my mother!" exclaimed Kurama in a panic as he rushed inside the hospital. He soon found from the doctors that she was to make a full recovery.

Botan arrived on the scene to see the two unmoving bodies of Naruto and Yusuke as Kurama rushed in the hospital. Tears started to form in her eyes as she anticipated the worst.

"Naruto! Yusuke! Get up!" screamed Botan.

The Naruto on the ground went up in a puff of smoke, as the real one jumped down next to Yusuke from a higher point on the roof.

"Get up!" yelled Naruto as he kicked him in the side.

Yusuke rolled over regaining consciousness and shifted to a sitting position. "You know that was pretty dumb of me. I was trying to stop the whole sad mom thing, but I would have only made my mom sad by dieing."

"Thanks to your creativity and noble deeds I have granted the wish without taking life." called out the mirror.

"I see you outsmarted the mirror by offering up a clone of yourself. You are probably the only person that could do that." said Yusuke.

"To think I ever doubted you guys! You make quite the team. Two down and one to go!" cheered Botan.

"Yeah right. I'm getting tired of bailing him out of trouble." grumbled Naruto.

"Hey, the great Urameshi is the star of this team!" joked Yusuke.

"Fine! Stay here and do a solo act! This place sucks worse than Cleveland. I'll take my talents to South Beach!" retorted Naruto, before they all doubled over in laughter.

From his office, Koenma groaned as he observed their cheery mood, "I don't see what's so funny. The next one will be ten times harder! Hiei's got the shadow sword and he's no ordinary demon. If we don't get that last artifact back, there's no telling what my father will do! Entire cities will be destroyed, not to mention my precious backside!"

* * *

A/N: That does it for this chapter. I'll post the next one pretty quick as well, before shifting to complete a nearly finished chapter for one of my other stories.


	3. Enter the Headmaster

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything

* * *

**Enter the Headmaster**

The clouds overhead shifted by obscuring the fool moon as a smirking Hiei stood atop one of the buildings at the docks on the outskirts of the city. His black cloak billowed behind him while the Jagan eye opened wide, taking in everything around him under the moonlight.

_'Their mistakes were simple ones. Gouki was too overconfident and Kurama had too much sympathy for his human prey.' _thought Hiei. He then unsheathed the shadow sword and stared at his reflection on the blade.

_'I guarantee I won't make the same mistakes. My plan is too good for that. It's better this way. The others lacked the courage to use the weapons as they were intended. I will, but first I'll eliminate those idiot spirit detectives. Naruto Uzumaki and Yusuke Urameshi your time has come!'_

He leaped from his position slashing the glowing blade before vanishing into the night._  
_

X-X-X-X-X-X

The bell rung as a typical school day at Sarayashiki Junior High School progressed. Per normal procedure, Yusuke was skipping class on the roof to have a meeting with Botan and Naruto. Naruto worked on his chakra control standing parallel to the ground while balancing a couple of leaves in his hands on the side of the entrance to the stairs. Botan sat on top of the same structure with her legs dangling over the side.

"You know what's funny, I get to do the kick ass spirit detective thing in between training all day while your still in school!" mocked Naruto.

"I'm the toughest kid here at Sarayashiki Junior High School. I run this place! Your just a drop out." retorted Yusuke.

"Yeah Right! I'm proud graduate of the Konoha Shinobi Academy! I finished school years ago and was #1 in my class." bragged Naruto.

"You were the dead last of your class." corrected Botan.

"Technically, I killed that guy who graduated #1, that means I get his spot. You're lucky to be working with a legend like me, perhaps I'll eventually let you in on my secret training." boasted Naruto.

"It's not like your stupid training has accomplished anything useful anyway. You still can't use your special attack yet, while the spirit gun is loaded and ready for action." declared Yusuke in a cocky manner.

"You only have one bullet!" yelled Naruto.

"Yeah, yeah." Yusuke waved him off dismissively.

"Now, now boys. If it weren't for the healing powers of your lovely spirit detective manager, you'd still be limping around from that first fight." reminded Botan.

"Yeah, well do all the assistants wear school uniforms too? Or do you just like the navy girl look?" mocked Yusuke.

"I definitely like it!" declared Naruto as he'd taken to resting at the bottom of the wall he'd been standing on and trying to look up Botan's skirt. She jumped down from her position and stomped on his stomach.

"How cruel..." Naruto gasped.

"I'm not wearing this for kicks. Some people actually try to blend in with the environment when following you around school." she replied giving a pointed glare at Naruto.

He shrugged it off, "Don't disrespect the orange. Anyway I'd be caught dead before you find me in a school uniform, or attending school for that matter."

"I almost forgot! Koenma decided to release Kurama on good behavior after the punishment board reviewed his case." informed Botan.

"That's good to hear." replied Yusuke.

"Yeah now all we have to do his beat the midget and get back the sword, then the case is closed." added Naruto.

"And we've got three days to do it." said Yusuke.

"That will be easier said then done. Hiei is the toughest opponent you'll face by far. He's both cunning and ruthless and he'll do anything to get what he wants." warned Botan.

"Well, they don't call me the number one unpredictable ninja for nothing. We'll crush him, I guarantee it." proclaimed Naruto.

The door to the roof suddenly opened and Keiko walked out turning to Yusuke.

"There you are Yusuke. Mr. Takenaka's looking for you. You're the only person who hasn't turned in a book report." said Keiko.

Yusuke waved off her concern, "I've been too busy to worry about that stupid class."

"Hard to balance school and work huh?" said Botan.

"I don't think he would have done it if we weren't hunting demons anyway." stated Naruto.

Yusuke was now annoyed, "Do you guys mind?"

"No not really!" giggled Botan as she walked up to Keiko. "Ms. Keiko it's so nice to meet you now that I have my own body. I just want to say how great a person you are. When you ran into those flames to save Yusuke, I nearly melted in my shoes!"

"Do I know you?" questioned a completely confused Keiko.

"You must be saint to put up with this lug. Battling de..." began Naruto only to be cut off.

"Hey!" yelled Yusuke bashing both of them in the back of the head.

"Keiko doesn't know anything about Spirit World so just keep it quiet alright!" he warned them quietly.

"Well sooner or later you going to have to tell her all about it, or things will get complicated..." advised Botan.

"Time for lunch!" replied Naruto as he walked off.

"See you later!" Botan gave a wave before following right behind him, leaving Yusuke and Keiko alone.

"Tell me what soon?" Keiko asked Yusuke.

"Damn! She just had to bring you in on this too.." grumbled Yusuke.

"Bring me in on what?" asked Keiko again.

He waved her off dismissively, "It's a long story, I'll tell you later."

Keiko became slightly annoyed, "Oh. Well, I just came to tell you about the book report so you wouldn't get in trouble."

"Wait! Hold on Keiko, I want to talk to you." said Yusuke as she turned to leave.

"You do?" she turned back to him with a faint blush.

"I was wondering if you could to do my homework?" he asked.

"Oh? Is that all I'm good for now?" she retorted angrily.

"Well me, Botan and Naruto are going to be busy today." he answered.

She only heard the first name before stomping away completely ticked off, "Is that fact!"

"Hey! It's not what your thinking!" pleaded Yusuke as he chased after her.

X-X-X-X-X-X

A few hours later Yusuke found himself in detention listening to Takenaka drone on and on when his demon detector suddenly went off.

"Dammit! He's here, looks like about one mile away." exclaimed Yusuke as jumped up an ran out the door. "Sorry old man! I heard my mom calling!"

"Wait Yusuke, we're not done yet! And next time use a better excuse!" yelled Takenaka.

As soon as he exited school grounds he ran into Botan and Naruto.

"So your detector sensed him as well?" Botan asked.

"Yeah, but it's weird. His location is well beyond the limits of this thing yet I still picked it up." answered Yusuke.

"He's got enough power to set the thing off from anywhere in the city," supplied Naruto. "He's trying to lead you to his base, but I already know where it is. I've had shadow clones searching the city for odd activity. There has been some strange movements at one of the warehouses at the docks."

"That's not the only problem! Hiei has been using telepathy to warn you he has Keiko and will only release her in exchange for the two artifacts!" informed Botan.

"What are we waiting for let's go!" roared Yusuke.

X-X-X-X-X-X

Once they arrived at the docks, Naruto pointed out the building his clones identified as suspicious, "His hideout is over there."

Yusuke marched over and opened the large door. "Where are you bastard! Come on out, so I can kick your ass!" called out Yusuke.

The door suddenly closed behind them and they came face to face with a hoard of people hovering around like zombies.

"What the hell happened to them?" questioned Naruto.

"Hiei must be controlling their minds. There was no information about this in the records department, to control so many people at once he must possess the Jagan." suggested Botan.

"Jagan?" questioned both Yusuke and Naruto.

"Well done!" stated Hiei as he laughed evilly. He emerged from the crowd of people Jagan flaring and wielding the shadow sword. "I used my power to round them up this morning. They won't do much good against you two, but they make for excellent scenery."

"Big deal! You're a midget and a triclops. It's still two on one." taunted Naruto.

Hiei snorted at the insult, "Fools, the whole lot of you. Normal humans would have succumbed to the effects of my eye by now. Looks like Koenma got lucky with his picks, but you are both still a couple of A-class morons. That's why I brought some insurance."

Two guys holding up Keiko emerged from the shadows.

"Keiko! Let her go! She's got nothing to do with this!" demanded Yusuke.

"I'll hand her over if you've brought the weapons." countered Hiei. Yusuke pulled out the orb and the mirror and handed them over.

"Such a good boy, the orb of baas and the forlorn hope, you can have her." Hiei commanded the two men holding her to let her go.

"That was a mistake." stated Naruto calmly.

"Did you really think we we're going to hand over the artifacts that easily. Now that you've handed us Keiko we're going to rip you to pieces." roared Yusuke.

The two objects in his hands, suddenly vanished in puffs of smoke to reveal a pair of Naruto clones. The duo attacked when Hiei suddenly vanished and reappeared a on top of a crate to the left of them.

"He vanished..." exclaimed an astounded Yusuke.

"No that was pure speed..." whispered Naruto.

"Looks like one of you is smarter than I thought, but did you really think that was the full extent of my plan? Take a closer look at the girls forehead." said a smug Hiei.

"What the..." muttered Yusuke as he leaned down and found the wound on Keiko's forehead.

"This wound is similar to Hiei's eye...no! It's not a wound, it really is an eye!" exclaimed Botan.

"Got it in one! I've returned her body, but her life is still in my hands! Hahaha!" cackled Hiei.

"Dammit! The eye is opening!" yelled Yusuke.

"That's the beauty of it! Once the eye opens she'll become my first subordinate in my new demon army!" proclaimed Hiei.

"Get out of the way!" yelled Botan as she brushed Yusuke aside and starting using her healing powers on Keiko.

"Interesting. Your companion seems to be able to neutralize demonization. Such high classed spirit healing, a very capable companion you have indeed. But can she keep it up? Without the aid of medical herbs the strain on the healer is very great, she could end up losing her life as well!" taunted Hiei.

"He's right, I can't release too much spirit power for long!" warned Botan.

"Yes, let's play a game now! I've got the antidote hidden in between the blade and hilt of this sword! She won't survive unless she takes it, but then again you won't be fast enough to take this sword from me with a hundred years of training..." a kick to the gut delivered by Naruto silenced Hiei's rant.

"No Games!" declared Naruto in a tone that meant all business. The kick sent Hiei in the direction of Yusuke who followed with a punch to the face and an elbow to the ribs. Hiei staggered back away from him stunned.

_'The blond one somehow switched positions with that crate next to me in an instant, and the other's power increased ten fold...' _thought Hiei.

"I see. You two are the worst kind of human trash. When someone threatens your friends, you become even harder to kill." growled Hiei.

"You are beyond redemption. I'll feed your remains to the stray dogs of the city." declared Yusuke with an ice cold tone. Hiei ignored his threat.

"Not snatching the sword back when you had the moment of surprise will be your fatal error. I won't be so careless..." Hiei stopped to dodge a punch from a Naruto clone.

"Less talking, more fighting!" yelled the other two Naruto's that charged him. Hiei suddenly vanished again.

"Fools! Do you think you can follow my speed!" echoed Hiei's voice as he blurred around the room. Right as he flashed in front of Yusuke, the green clad spirit detective nailed him in the face with a punch again.

"As that all you can do midget? Just jump around a little?" taunted Yusuke.

"I normally don't beat up the physically handicapped, but I'll make an exception in your case." stated Naruto as he and clones marched towards Hiei's downed form, cracking their knuckles.

"Shit!" shouted Hiei as he rolled over and jumped back, gaining some separation. He discarded his cloak as he stared them down. "To think I've been forced to revert by mere humans...You will learn true fear!" Hiei roared as he suddenly transformed with eyes sprouting all over his body and his skin turning green. His Jagan flared and energy shout out of it wrapping around Yusuke and paralyzing him.

"Don't forget about us!" yelled Naruto as he and his clones charged Hiei, but the transformed Demon's speed proved to be to much for him. The clones were quickly dispatched by a couple of slashes of the shadow sword. Hiei then deflected the original Naruto's punch before stabbing him in the chest with his claws. As he pulled his hand from Naruto's chest massive amounts of blood gushed out.

"You managed to move slightly at the last second to avoid an instantly fatal blow, but you'll bleed out soon enough." As Naruto collapsed to the ground he turned his attention back to Yusuke.

"No one to help you now!" bellowed Hiei as he started hammering down punches on the immobilized detective.

_'Dammit, I've got to break free!'_ thought Yusuke as he struggled to try and move.

"Do you understand the difference in our power now?" questioned Hiei as he paused in his assault. "For a human your power is impressive. In honor of that fact, I'll grant you a swift death."

Hiei raised the shadow sword and charged Yusuke with a battle cry, "Die!"

_'This is it...'_ thought Yusuke as he awaited the blow. However, as Hiei went to stab Yusuke, Naruto appeared in front of him stopping the blade with his bare hands.

"What! You should be dead!" yelled Hiei.

"It's take a lot more than that little scratch to kill me!" retorted Naruto. _'Even without the fox, my regeneration is still top notch.'_

As the blade started to cut into his palms Hiei started to laugh.

"Fool! Now you've been sliced by the sword! You'll soon be under my command!" cackled Hiei.

Naruto's response was to lick up some blood that leaked out of the corner of his mouth and spit at Hiei nailing him in the Jagan eye on his forehead. The short demon staggered back, blinded. The restraints around Yusuke were immediately released.

"How fortunate. Hiei's other eyes are merely for show. The true power is the original Jagan on his forehead." Kurama's voice called out from behind them.

The duo shouted as they turned to face the redhead, "Kurama!"

"I came to repay the favor from helping with my mother. I feel you both would kill me for interfering with your battle, so leave the girl to me. Concentrate on Hiei." Kurama then ran over to aid Botan.

"It's pretty hard to hit target moving at those speeds. Since it's your girlfriend he jacked up, it's only fair you land the finisher. I'll lock him down." suggested Naruto.

"How nice of you. I guess I'm obligated to let you have the next one." replied a grinning Yusuke.

"Of course." responded Naruto with a smirk.

"Throwing your lot with these fools...I kill you for this Kurama!" bellowed Hiei.

"You have to worry about getting through us first." proclaimed Yusuke.

"You two! Your power! You keep getting stronger every time you escape!" he yelled at Yusuke before pointing to Naruto. "And I know I cut you with that damn sword! How are you still standing! No more I'll kill you both with my full power."

He charged aiming to decapitate Yusuke with the Shadow Sword but Naruto intercepted, blocking with a kunai. Hiei countered with a roundhouse kick that sent Naruto flying across the room and into the opposite wall. Yusuke used the opening created to punch Hiei sending the short demon back towards the middle of the room where he landed on his feet and moved to start another charge.

"Yo ugly!" shouted Naruto as he threw a kunai at Hiei's back. Hiei heard the shout from behind him and saw the weapon moving at him as if it was in slow motion. He arrogantly waited until the last second before moving slightly to the left to dodge, however the kunai vanished in a puff of smoke revealing Naruto. Hiei reacted by slashing across the old wound on Naruto's chest with the shadow sword, but Naruto fought through the pain and the blow to lock onto Hiei with a death grip holding him in place.

"Now!" yelled the blond.

"Spirit Gun!" yelled Yusuke firing off his attack.

"Fool! You'll take damage as well!" roared Hiei as he struggled to free himself.

"So be it!" declared Naruto as the blast hit Hiei in the chest, forcing him to drop the sword and carrying the duo across the room slamming them up against the wall.

"You idiots..." murmured Hiei as he collapsed into unconsciousness. The Naruto behind him vanished in a puff of smoke as the real one emerged from behind a crate.

"Take that bastard!" proclaimed Yusuke as he kicked the downed Hiei in the side.

"Let's go see how she's doing." said Naruto as he walked towards Botan, Kurama, and Keiko. Kurama had picked up the sword right after Hiei dropped and helped Botan apply the antidote to Keiko.

"Don't worry guys, the antidote is working. She'll be back to normal in no time!" happily informed Botan.

"Thanks for the help Kurama." stated Yusuke.

The redhead waved off the gratitude, "It is was nothing."

"I must say that was some excellent teamwork you boys showed out there." praised Botan.

"Yes, you even had me fooled. How did you get your clone to survive the slash with the blade?" Kurama asked Naruto.

"It didn't, that was the real me." They all looked closely to see the slowly healing slash wound on his chest as he removed his tattered jacket. "I switched right before his attack hit."

"You should have said something! Botan give him some of the antidote!" yelled Yusuke.

"I don't know if there's enough left!" shrieked a panicking Botan.

"This doesn't make sense, he should have started transforming by now like the girl." stated Kurama.

"Hey, if having the Kyuubi in me for all those years didn't turn me into a demon I doubt that this will. Besides he cut me with it before and nothing happened..." Naruto suddenly went down to his knees before collapsing to the ground as he passed out.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

As Naruto's eyes fluttered open, he found himself staring up at the familiar white sealing of a hospital room.

"What the hell happened?" he yawned while sitting up.

"Let's just say you had an interesting reaction to the shadow sword." He turned to see Botan sitting next to his bead reading.

"Huh?" he asked eloquently.

She waved off his confusion, "Someone qualified will be along shortly to explain exactly what happened."

"Okay, then where am I?" he asked.

"The Spirit World Medical Center, can't expect to get treated for being cut with a demonic sword in the human world. You've been out for a couple of days." she answered when Naruto's stomach suddenly growled. Immediately the door opened to reveal Kushina carrying some ramen, "Looks like I'm right on time!"

"Yeah Mom you rock! Ramen!" exclaimed Naruto as he started to chow down.

"So how did he take the changes?" Kushina asked Botan.

"He hasn't noticed yet." replied Botan as she turned a page.

"What changes..." Naruto started to question after he slurped up a mouthful of noddles when he looked at his hands. He was wearing some black fingerless gloves with orange spirals on the top that seemed to be clamped on to his wrists so he couldn't remove them. Botan then handed him a mirror, and as he looked at his reflection he noticed his whisker marks were more defined and his eye looked like a slitted version of the Jagan.

"Wow! What the hell happened!" he yelled.

"Don't worry all will be explained in due time." Koenma responded as he entered with a strange hooded man who possessed glowing eyes following close behind. "Naruto, this the man who you'll be working for when I don't have higher priority cases for you and Yusuke to work on together."

The man introduce himself, "My name is Tenmei Mikogami, but you can just call me Headmaster."

"Headmaster of what?" questioned Naruto.

"Your new school of course, the Youkai Academy!" informed his mother.

He stared her down with a look of betrayal, "Curse you! The ramen was a peace offering. No matter, I refuse!"

"You don't have a choice. Youkai academy is the place you'll be policing as a spirit detective. Long ago the demons were allowed to freely roam in the human world, once the point came where it was decided barriers were needed because of the constant conflict, some tribes of demons were allowed to remain in the human world provided they coexisted and blended in peacefully. The yokai or monsters of today's world are descendants of these demons. The school is where they go to learn how to blend in with human society." explained Koenma.

Naruto still wasn't persuaded, "Send Yusuke there! I'll cover his territory."

"He's not old enough to be admitted as a student undercover." countered the Headmaster.

Koenma decided to try a different tactic, "There is some good news. You've regained a significant portion of your strength and abilities."

"You're right, I feel about as good as I did right before the training trip before well you know..." he trailed off.

_'Yes right now your comparable to a low B-Class demon, or low A-class monster on the academy scales. You still possess the potential to ascend far beyond your current limitations.' _thought the headmaster.

"The reason your power was out of whack before was because remains of the Kyuubi's demon chakra still remained in your system without the seal to regulate it. The chakra wasn't causing too much trouble for you because it remained dormant. After being sliced by sword twice the demon chakra awakened and multiplied to point where it flooded your system and causing your body to start transform. The gloves I placed on you stabilized your body and prevented the transformation. When you finally reach a point where you can tap into your full power, without destroying your body. The gloves will come off." explained the Headmaster.

"Oh, Haha." deadpanned Naruto. "So, I've become a demon now?"

"Maybe." answered Koenma.

Naruto stared at him dumbfounded once again, "Huh?"

"We don't know what you are since your powers are still evolving. I have stabilized your powers for now, but you could maintain your human nature, become a full demon, or become some sort of hybrid. We don't know." replied the headmaster.

"Eh, does it really matter? I mean I'm still me right?" questioned Naruto. At this he was glomped by his mother.

"Yes that's exactly right! You will always be my handsome little boy!" she cried as she hugged him to death.

"I believe that's enough for today. Get some rest you report to the academy in a few days!" stated Koenma before he and the headmaster exited quickly.

"Hey! Wait minute! Get back here! I never agreed to that!" yelled out Naruto to no avail as he was unable to escape his mother's grasp. Botan continued reading, giggling at his predicament.

X-X-X-X-X-X

"So, could you get a reading on what he is?" questioned Koenma once the were outside..

"No, based on the unique state of his origins, he is still evolving. As he grows his demonic nature will eventually solidify, however his partial absorption of the Jagan is quite intriguing. He along with your other detective is very interesting."

"So basically a bigger pain in the ass than I ever could have imagined. All that potential I saw, I was too smart for my own good..." groaned Koenma.

* * *

A/N: The next few chapters will shift into Rosairio+Vampire for a little while, establishing it's roots there. The girls from there hooking up with Naruto will be Moka (both of them) and Mizore.


	4. The Yokai Academy

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything

* * *

**The Youkai Academy  
**

After heavy negotiation that included a new wardrobe, a mp3 player that doubled as a communicator, and vast amounts of ramen, Naruto eventually found his way onto the bus to Yokai Academy. He now sported a nice black suit his mother picked out for him, saving him from terrible green ones that reminded him of a certain spandex suit. The rest of his outfit was completed by a crimson shirt, a black tie with an orange flame design, and a pair of sleek sunglasses. To everyone's horror the music player was loaded with rap and heavy metal music by one of the Ogre's. Naruto was instantly hooked on both, his attitude becoming more insufferable than ever.

"Here we are kid, Youkai Academy. I would tell you how terrifying this place is, but you already know that." commented the bus driver with smirk. Naruto just gave the creepy man a thumbs up before exiting the bus.

"Gaara should have played this during his fight at the chunin exams..." mumbled Naruto as he popped in his headphones and bobbed his head to Metallica's Enter Sandman. Naruto continued marching along the path to the school, the music making him oblivious to the creepy surroundings. Naruto had just dropped into an air guitar solo when he heard a shout from behind him.

"Coming through!" He turned just in time to see a cute pink haired girl plow into him with her bike. The bike seemed to take the brunt of the damage as Naruto and the girl ended up with their limbs slightly tangled. Naruto squeezed his hand and heard the girl gasp, and looked to see his hand on her thigh and yanked it back. He rose to he feet and dusting himself off before offering his hand to the girl.

"Are you alright? Sorry for getting in your way." he apologized with a slight blush.

She looked up at him a little startled before taking his hand and standing up with a slight look of embarrassment. "No, I should be the one saying sorry. I was feeling a little weak from my anemia and wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

He waved off her apology, "Don't worry about it."

"Oh, you scratched your cheek..." she said while seeming to zone in on the cut on his face.

He wiped his face to find a trickle of blood dripping down. "It's not a big deal, I heal fast..." started Naruto only to be cut off as the girl moved right in front of his face causing all the blood in his body to flood south as her assets pressed up against him.

"Your scent..." he could feel her hot breath on him as she enunciated each word. "It's so, so delicious!" without warning she sank her fangs into his neck and started drinking.

"What the hell!" There wasn't any pain from the bite, in fact it actually felt pretty good, but it just completely surprised him. She soon removed herself from his neck, licking her lips as she did so.

"Sorry, you're blood just smelled so delicious I couldn't help myself. You see, I'm a vampire." she explained.

"A vampire?" he questioned confused. _'Didn't Botan say they supposed to be these bad ass super powered monsters? Not super cute girls?'_

His questioning tone worried her, "Do you not like vampires?"

"No it's nothing like that. You just surprised me is all. I don't have a problem with vampires, and their all as cute as you, I don't think I ever will." teased Naruto causing her to blush. She was also relieved that he didn't have anything against vampires.

"So, do you want to be friends?" she asked shyly.

_'It's a start.'_ thought Naruto. "Sure, I'm Naruto Uzumaki."

"I'm Moka Akayashi. Are you a new student too?"

"Yeah, I just found out I was coming here a few days ago."

"Oh this is so great! The first day and I've already made a friend! Hopefully we'll be in the same class together."

_'I didn't actually plan on attending class too often, but maybe I've now got some incentive...'_ thought Naruto as the pair continued their trek towards the school._  
_

X-X-X-X-X-X

After making their way up to the academy, the duo was herded along with the other students to the entrance ceremony. Naruto and Moka ended up getting separated, to be more accurate Moka actaully attended the ceremony while Naruto attempted to ditch and was rewarded with a lengthy lecture by one of the teachers. The guy really like to here himself talk, so by the time he cut Naruto loose they were both late for their homeroom classes. In Naruto's homeroom class, the teacher had already begun her introduction.

"Hello everyone and welcome to Youkai Academy! I'm your..." Naruto's arrival interrupted her speech. He attempted to walk to an open seat like nothing was wrong, but the teacher was not going to let him slide that easily.

"Excuse me, why are you late?" she questioned while tapping her foot impatiently. Not one to let an opportunity like this go, Naruto dropped a line that would start his legend at Youkai Academy.

"Sorry, on my way here a black cat crossed my path so I had to turn back and take the long way around." he stated casually with a small smirk.

The entire class stared at him like he was insane, not believing the lame excuse was going to work.

"Good thinking! Black cats are awful bullies! Go ahead have a seat!" she replied smiling at him. His classmates looks suddenly shifted to ones of disbelief and reverence that he actually pulled it off, on the first day no less.

"Now, as I was saying before. I'm your homeroom teacher Shizuka Nekonome and you should all know this but I'll say it again, this is school built for the sake of monsters to attend! Since the humans..."

Naruto tuned out what she was saying after already having been debriefed on everything by Botan before he left. His wandering mind soon drifted to thought of his apparently cat-girl homeroom teacher making him stay behind for 'extra' lessons . _ 'I wonder what the headmaster's stance is on student teacher relationships...dammit ero-sennin! I'm starting to think like you...'_

His focus came back into his surroundings when a student on the other side of the room posed a question that instantly put him on the spirit detective's shit list.

"Hey teacher, wouldn't it be better for us to eat those humans, and in the case of the pretty girls, molest them?" questioned a guy with slicked back blond hair and a mouth piercing. His comment incited a few snickers from his fellow classmates.

"Wouldn't it be better for you to get some breath mints? I can smell you from over here!" retorted Naruto causing the class to roar with laughter. Saizou glared at naruto for the insult, but the blond gave him the one finger salute in response. Once everyone quieted down a familiar pink haired girl opened the door.

"Excuse me!" Moka called out to Nekonome. "Sorry I'm late. After the school entrance ceremony I kind of got lost in the school."

"Don't worry about it! Have a seat!" replied a smiling Nekonome.

_'Screw student teacher relationships, a good student-student relationship with Moka-chan would suit me just fine!' _thought Naruto as he got a good luck at his pink haired friend. Similar thoughts soon flooded the minds of his male classmates around the room. Naruto's daydreams of Moka were halted by a flying glomp from said girl that nearly knocked him out of his seat.

"Naruto! I can't believe it! We're in the same class!" squealed Moka.

The other male students in the room soon voiced their displeasure at his familiarity with Moka.

"AAAAAh!"

"What the hell!"

"What's with this guy!"

"How does he know her!"

"Get your paws off our girl!"

Naruto's reply was to give them the finger, pissing them off even more. Order soon returned to the classroom and Moka took a seat next to Naruto as Nekonome continued her speech from where she left off, eventually putting Naruto to sleep. He woke again when the bell rang.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Let's go exploring!" giggled Moka as she dragged Naruto along behind her through the halls. Since they had no more classes after homeroom for the first day, Moka decided to explore the school with her new friend. The pair was causing quite the commotion in the hallways, as girls seemed to be angry with Moka and boys with Naruto. The pink and blond duo were oblivious to everyone around them, both excited to be in the company of one another. Their frolicking was brought to a halt when someone blacked their path as they rounded a corner. It turned out to be the same guy that made Naruto's shit list in their homeroom class.

"You are called Moka Akashiya are you not? I am your classmate Komiya Saizou! Salutations!" Saizou greeted as he grabbed Naruto by the collar before continuing. "By the way, why is a beautiful lady like yourself associating with a guy like this?" Saizou propositioning was cut short as his face met with the bottom of Naruto's shoe.

"Get your greasy paws of the suit asshole! And I told you before, breathe mints!" shouted Naruto as he dusted himself off.

"Who the hell do you think you are weakling!" roared Saizou. The entire attention of the hall was now focused on them.

"I'm not the one who resorts to molesting girls, because I'm too ugly to get one straight up." retorted Naruto.

The two were now standing less than a foot apart; a fight was imminent until Moka intervened.

"Sorry, but I was having fun with Naruto! He can play with you later!" She grabbed Naruto's hand and took off again.

_'You can run for now...but sooner or later I'll have you Moka Akashiya! Right after I tear your little boyfriend to pieces!'_ thought Saizou as he watched them escape.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Moka ran at a dead sprint and didn't stop until they were near the edge of school grounds near some tombstones and dead trees.

"You didn't have to pull me out of there. I could have taken that guy easy." complained Naruto after the came to a halt.

"I didn't want you get in trouble on our first day!" replied a pouting Moka.

Naruto couldn't get angry at such a cute face, "Fine, fine."

"Besides we're on blood sucking terms." she added with happy sigh.

Naruto raised an eyebrow at that,"Really? Is that all I am?"

"You should be proud of yourself! You have grade A blood Naruto, way better than any of the blood I've had before from blood transfusion packs." exclaimed Moka.

"That's not as reassuring as you trying to make it sound." deadpanned Naruto.

She turned away from him with a faint blush,"Well you were also my first."

"What?" shouted Naruto.

"You're the first person whose body I've ever fed from. It was so good I'll never forget the feeling..." she trailed of with a dreamy look.

_'Somehow not the first I was aiming for.'_ thought Naruto.

"Common! Let's go explore some more!" she grabbed a hold of his arm and was off to the races again.

_'Despite how she look's she drags me around like I weigh nothing!'_ thought Naruto.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

After exploring the campus for a few more hours they took a rest at the cafeteria. Moka stepped away to get some tomato juice from a vending machine, leaving Naruto to himself. He had really enjoyed the day so far, especially spending time with Moka. After having most of the females in his life trying to exercise some sort of authority over him and temper his natural enthusiasm, it was nice to have an attractive girl who embraced his free-wheeling nature and just let him be himself. There was one thing that bugged him about the whole day though, Saizou Komiya. The guy just reeked of trouble among other things. He decided to contact Botan with his communicator to get a little background information.

"Oi! Botan! I need some info on a Saizou Komiya." demanded Naruto as the blue haired girl appeared on the screen.

"You could be more polite about it. I don't know who's more rude, you or Yusuke." she complained.

"Heh, definitely me." he gloated.

"That wasn't supposed to be a compliment." she scolded. "Why are digging up information on your classmates anyway?"

"They guy basically stated his goal in life is to eat humans and molest pretty girls. I'm figuring he has a record." responded Naruto.

"Well, don't go jumping the gun and beating people up so the headmaster has to kick you out of school!" she warned.

"Less nagging more working, you know I could easily convince Koenma to higher another cute girl as my spirit detective assistant. In fact I met one today..."

"I'm not your assistant, I'm your manager! If it weren't for me you two would have failed your first big case!" shouted an irritated Botan.

"Sure and ero-sennin can be trusted around a hot springs." retorted Naruto.

"This is your first day you know. Couldn't you take some time to integrate yourself as a student?" questioned Botan.

"I'm not here to be a student. I'm a spirit detective first and foremost. This guys is bad news, the moment he steps out of line I'll hunt down the rogue monster and take him out if need be." declared Naruto.

Unknown to him, Moka had overheard the last part of their conversation as she approached.

_'He's a spirit detective? A monster hunter? Oh no! I've got to get out of here!' _thought the pink haired girl as she turned and fled with tears in her eyes. This went unnoticed by Naruto due to Botan reporting back all the information on Komiya.

"A guy like that won't be able to hold back for long. I need to get eyes on him before he actually hurts someone." stated Naruto.

"Wait! You-" Botan was cut off as Naruto deactivated the communicator. Forming some shadow clones he spread out to search for the rapist.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Moka walked along the outskirts of the school grounds kicking a stone as tears formed in her eyes.

"Just my luck, to finally make a friend and he turns out to be..." her musings were cut off as Saizou surprised her by sneaking behind her and grabbing her wrist.

"Hey why is it you're all out here alone? Finally ditch that lame guy? A girl of your beauty is more deserving of a man like me." proclaimed Saizou as he tried to wrap an arm around her.

"Stay away!" shrieked Moka as she pulled away from him.

"No, I don't think I can. When my body starts to ache like this, I just can't stay in human form any longer." growled Saizou as he transformed into his true form.

"No someone help!" cried out Moka as the hideous Beast approached her.

"Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm going to enjoy this little violation of school rules!" Saizou's long tongue shot out of his mouth licking Moka on the check. A kick to the side of his face that sent Saizou flying and halted his further advances on Moka.

"Haven't you heard no means no?" called out his attacker. The transformed Saizou turned to face his attacker, finding it to be Naruto. The blond stood smirking at him with his arms folded across his chest.

"You!" roared Saizou.

"People like you are really stupid. It did a little research on you. You're a rogue forced to come to this academy as a last resort because you kept molesting woman in the human world. Did you really think that same shit would fly here just because the girls are monsters?" retorted Naruto angrily.

_'Why would he care about monsters? Doesn't he hunt them?' _questioned Moka.

"Why do you care?" questioned Saizou indignantly.

"Because I'm Naruto Uzumaki Spirit Detective." proclaimed Naruto. "I'm here to protect the youkai who want to live in peace from rogue beasts like you! Besides it doesn't matter what you are, human or youkai. There are some pretty disgusting people on both sides and if you show up on my shit list I'll kick your ass."

Moka had tears of joy in her eyes from his proclamation, _'Naruto..you really do care!'_

"Fuck you Uzumaki! I'm got to tear you apart right in front of your little girlfriend, then i'm going to have a little fun with her!_"_ bellowed Saizou. _  
_

"You've already lost here. Get em boys!" ordered an unfazed Naruto. A dozen Naruto clones emerged from the shadows charging and attacking Saizou as the original walked over to Moka.

"You alright?" Naruto asked. "Sorry, I got here so late. I knew the guy was going to go after a girl at some point. I didn't really expect it to be so soon."

Moka responded with an apology of her own,"No it's my fault for wandering off. I'm sorry for doubting you. I overheard you talking about being a spirit detective and thought you were here to hunt yokai."

"Eh, don't sweat it, but keep that a secret okay. Can't have my cover blown completely my first day on the job." Naruto replied with a grin. Naruto then noticed that Saizou had escaped from his clones and was headed straight for Moka with his claws outstretched. Naruto grabbed Moka and spun around around taking the claw stab into his back. Saizou was pulled back as the remaining clones regrouped and levied another assault on him.

"Naruto!" cried out Moka.

"My fault for not paying attention. Don't worry I heal fast." he gasped out pulling back from her. Moka suddenly realized that in his effort to protect her Naruto somehow grabbed her Rosario and when he pulled away it came off.

_'How did he...'_ her thoughts were cut short as she was engulfed in an aura of power. Naruto, his clones, and Saizou all stared as Moka transformed from a beautiful teenage girl, into an adult goddess. With the sliver hair and red slitted eyes of her true form she truly looked the part of a fierce vampire.

Naruto just stared at her in disbelief, "Where the hell have you been hiding?"

"Stand back Naruto Uzumaki, this is my fight now." she ordered. The thought of someone else infringing on his fight brought him back to his senses.

"Hold on, I'm already healed. I want some payback first. He tore my suit, but he did try to rape you so you can have the finisher." stated Naruto as he stepped forward. For some reason the aura from Moka was really pumping him up.

_'Interesting...'_ thought Moka. _'He's not intimidated by my aura, in fact he seems encouraged by it.'_

Naruto removed his sunglasses and set his eyes on Saizou. The beast suddenly found himself unable to move thanks to Naruto's Jagan enhanced eyes. Naruto charged and hammered him in the gut with his fist causing Saizou to double over in pain as blood shot out of his mouth.

"There's plenty more where that came from! One for every girl you've molested!" bellowed Naruto as he followed with punch that nailed Saizou in the face. As he reeled backwards Naruto moved behind him and slammed an elbow into his spine causing a loud bone cracking sound. As Saizou cried out in pain Naruto grabbed him by the neck and flung him headfirst towards Moka. The vampire pulled back her leg and delivered a bone shattering kick to Saizou's chin, "Know your place!" The powerful kick sent Saizou sailing off into the distance, reminding Naruto of the finishing blows Tsunade gave Jiraiya.

Naruto just stared at her stunned, '_I knew she was powerful, but damn! I think she's as strong as the old hag!'_

Moka had turned to face him, pleased by his response to her display of power, "Are you scared of me?"

"No, more like I'm a bit jealous. Your stronger than me...but that won't last for long! Once I regain my full power and master my new ones, I want to fight you!" declared Naruto. He immediately realized how idiotic that statement was when she reappeared in front him. He prepared himself for an attack, when she suddenly placed his sunglasses back on his face and wiped some stray blood from his jacket. He watched as she put the bloody finger in her mouth and licked it clean.

"Such delicious blood, I can see why my other self likes it so much. You are an interesting one, Naruto Uzumaki. Babysit the other sentimental Moka until we meet again." She immediately placed the Rosario back on her chain reverting back to the teenage 'outer' Moka. Naruto grabbed the unconscious girl before she collapsed to the ground.

"I just had to go after a vampire girl who likes the flavor of my blood and has split personalities. Yep just another typical day." grumbled Naruto as he felt Moka sink her fangs into his neck and take a drink.

"Yep another typical day." he sighed as Moka drank her fill.

* * *

A/N: Alright the focus on Rosario+Vampire will be for a decent amount of time, up to when he has a big showdown with Kuyou and Co. Then he'll hook up with Yusuke and the gang again for the Saint Beast mission, after that there will be more intermixing between the two worlds.


	5. Everybody Loves Naruto

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything

* * *

**Everybody Loves Naruto**

"You know it would be nice, if you asked before sucking down your fill!" complained Naruto as Moka sunk her fangs into his neck for a morning snack. After navigating the herds of annoying fan-boys and fan-girls on their way from the dorms the two met up outside the cafeteria. Naruto had barely opened his instant ramen cup when she latched on.

"Sorry Naruto, but you just taste so good!" shouted Moka causing every male nearby to shoot back with a massive nosebleed. "I think I might be becoming addicted to you! Your blood is so yummy and your aroma is irresistible!"

Naruto merely shook his head and rubbed his neck where the bite mark had already healed before slurping down his noodles. While being her favorite snack didn't really affect him physically, it was still annoying to be a snack nonetheless. However, it also ensured she would keep quiet about his true identity at the school, even though she didn't seem to be the type of person to out him anyway. Somehow sensing what he was thinking Moka spoke some comforting words.

"You know I'll help you out when you need it and keep your job a secret too." she reassured him. "How did you end up as a spirit detective, if you're a youkai anyway?"

"Let's just say I was born closer to what you would call a half-breed like a witch, and due to various events I am now considered part demon." he answered in a tone that indicated that was all he was going to divulge on the matter for now. Right as he said this, one of his clones doing surveillance dispelled with some information.

"You go on and head to class. I've got a little work to do, then I'll catch up." he said before vanishing in a puff of smoke.

"I wonder what happened?" Moka questioned aloud before moving on to homeroom.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Naruto made his way towards the area the clone dispelled from. It was just outside one of the main buildings, where he found a girl crawling along the ground, apparently in pain.

"Are you alright?" he asked the kneeling girl as he rushed over. When she looked up, he came face to face with a beautiful blue haired girl with very ample _assets_.

_'She's like a mini blue haired baa-chan!'_ he thought.

"Help me, please lend a hand I suddenly started feeling ill." she said faintly.

Naruto grabbed her hand and helped her to her feet, putting an arm around her to hold her up, "Whoa, I got you. Let's get you over to the infirmary."

"Thank you so much. I've always had a weak body." she replied softly while leaning in closer against him.

"Don't worry about it, I'm happy to help." he replied with a smile.

"Ah, my chest! Hold me tighter!" she suddenly exclaimed while leaning in even closer to him, rubbing her chest up against him.

_'So soft...'_ thought a now drooling Naruto.

"My chest feels like it's going to burst!" she exclaimed while rubbing up against him even more.

_'If you keep doing that my pants will too!'_ he thought.

"Hey, look into my eyes Naruto-kun." she asked kindly after calming down.

This brought Naruto out of his perverted daze momentarily,_ 'Hold up I never told her my name...'_

"I'm Kurono Kurumu. Please be a good friend to me okay?" she asked after flipping up his sunglasses and looking deep into his eyes. Naruto suddenly felt a strange feeling come over him.

_'It's some kind of compulsion charm, like a genjutsu. My eyes are protecting me, but I'll play along for a little while to see what she really wants.' _thought Naruto as he embraced her nuzzling his head against the crook of her neck._  
_

"Whaa! Kyaaa! What are you doing?" she squealed with glee. As he picked her up bridal style and headed towards the main building, she had a small smirk on her face. Meanwhile Moka sat in class a little worried that it had been a few hours and the real Naruto still hadn't shown up. He had a clone covering for him, but she couldn't smell the scent of his blood so she knew it was a copy.

_'Where are you?' _she thought while letting out a sigh._  
_

Later as Moka was leaving class to head to lunch, shot spotted the real Naruto with Kurumu rubbing up against him in the hall way.

_'Who is that your with?' _thought a slightly jealous Moka.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

_'Who was the girl with Naruto? What is she to him?'_ thought a slightly depressed Moka later as she wandered the halls. "They looked like lovers, all over each other like that. Why is this troubling me so much? Is it because when I'm around Naruto I just want to suck his blood?" she questioned herself aloud.

It was then that her other self from within the Rosario spoke out to her,_ 'Stop feeling so down. You need to be more alert, someone is targeting you!'_

"Huh? Who's there? Who is that voice?" questioned Moka as she looked around, but someone else interrupted before her other self could respond.

"So your the supposed Vampire, Moka Akashiya?" Moka turned and looked up to see Kurumu sitting on the handrail of the stairs. "At least, that's what the rumors say."

"You're the one from earlier. What did you do to Naruto!" Moka demanded.

Kurumu hopped down and landed right in front of Moka, "I didn't do anything. I just made myself known to him because I want to defeat you."

As typical when two of the hottest girls in school gather, nearly every male in the vicinity gathered around to ogle.

"The blue haired chick is short, but her boobs are huge!"

"Yeah, but Moka is definitely the #1 girl in school!"

"I would be so hot it they kissed right now..."

"I would be even hotter if I did both of them at the same time."

"I'd settle for a cat fight."

"Defeat me?" a confused Moka questioned, the two girls were completely oblivious to those around them.

"I am the succubus Kurumu Kurono, and I won't let you stand in my way!" declared Kurumu.

"Isn't it against school rules to give away your true form?" an even further confused Moka asked.

"Who cares? I can't stand you anymore. You're in the way of my plan!" accused Kurumu.

"Plan?" now everyone in the hall eavesdropping on the conversation was lost.

Kurumu let out a low chuckle before continuing, "Yes my plan is to make every male member of the student body at this academy completely become my slave. The Youkai Academy harem transformation plan!"

_'That has got to be the worst plan I have ever heard of.'_ thought everyone collectively. She immediately lost points with the most of the male populous for it.

"A harem of guys? What is she a closet yaoi fan-girl?"

"No, she's to hot for that. Maybe she's into gang-bangs."

"Well, I'm just throwing it out there, how about bukk-"

"No way dude. Just no."

"There's still hope for a cat fight!"

"My plan was perfect. I should have had every boy in the school enslaved by my beauty from the start." Kurumu continued. "However, Moka Akashiya, the guys at this school are dreaming of you rather than me!"

_'Actually we're dreaming of both of you...at the same time!'_ was the collective thought of the drooling males awaiting some sort of action between the two girls.

"This stops now! I won't let anyone defeat me in a battle of feminine charm!" proclaimed Kurumu.

"Wait a minute! Keep Naruto out of this, he's got nothing to do with it." pleaded Moka.

"He has a really good scent, probably why you're all over him. You're using him as food aren't you!" accused Kurumu. "The look on your face when he's taken from you will be a sight to see!"

"No, I'm not using him. I'm..." stammered Moka, shocked by the accusation.

"See, that's why I've decided I'm going to prove I'm better than you by stealing Naruto Uzumaki from you!" Kurumu declared. At this moment said boy, made himself known descending down the stairs.

_'Why the hell are all these people standing around in the hall?'_ he thought before he spotted Moka and Kurumu.

"Moka! There you are! Sorry, I haven't been around, I've been working..." began Naruto, only to be cut off by Kurumu.

"NARUTO-KUN!" squealed Kurumu as she glomped him, rubbing her breasts against his chest. Immediately the male masses where outraged.

"Oh hell no! Not that guy again!"

"Who the hell is he!"

"RABBLE! RABBLE! RABBLE! RABBLE! RABBLE! RABBLE!"

"Wait this might be good, if their fighting over him we'll still get to see a cat fight!"

_'Shit! I wanted to let Moka know I was going to be faking, but I can't now. Maybe I still can...'_ thought Naruto. Moka stared at them with a tick mark on her forehead barely keeping herself in check.

"Thank you so much for earlier!" squealed Kurumu again.

"It was no problem!" he happily replied.

"What's with you...worried about someone, yet you have that happy look on your face..." growled Moka the rage rolling off of her.

_'Shit, she's fuckin pissed!' _thought Naruto.

"He's happy because he knows I'm not just using him for a snack!" gloated Kurumu as she turned his face towards her, flipping up his sunglasses and trying to charm him again.

"No! Naruto that's not true!" exclaimed Moka as her rage evaporated into worry. "It's her who is trying to deceive you!"

However, Naruto decided he had to continue to play along and pretended the charm worked.

"Don't worry you can just to ask for your fill later, I'm going to hang out with Kurumu now ok?" he responded in a somewhat hollow manner. _'Hopefully she get's it.'_

Moka just stood their stunned as the two walked off, still embracing each other.

"I'm still feeling a little weak can we go back to the infirmary?" asked Kurumu as they departed.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Some time later Moka still remained in the same spot, slunk against the wall with a depressed look on her face. "Is that truly the only reason I'm around Naruto? I want him for his blood?" she questioned herself.

_'There's no reason to be depressed.'_ a voice spoke out to her.

"Huh?" Moka looked around before finally looking down and noticing the Rosario was glowing. _'My other self...'_ she realized.

_'The succubus charm has no effect on Naruto Uzumaki, didn't you notice he said we could ask for our fill? If he was under her charm in the slightest he wouldn't have said that.' _spoke inner Moka.

"Then what is he doing?" questioned outer Moka.

_'I suppose he is trying to figure out her true motives. Since we know already we should inform him.' _inner Moka replied. Moka immediately took of towards the infirmary.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

_'The look on her face was priceless!'_ thought Kurumu as she leaned back on her bed in the infirmary. She convinced the nurse to let her have a room to rest in even though nothing was wrong with here. A little wiggle of her assets had easily convinced Naruto to sit with her also. _'Now all I need to do is seal the deal with Naruto, and I win.'_

She crawled into Naruto's lap and pressed his face into her bust."You must be sad after finding out that nasty vampire only liked you for your blood. Kurumu will make you feel all better!"

_'She's really making me regret what I'm about to do...'_ thought Naruto as he held himself back from motor-boating her glorious mounds. "So what is you want?" he questioned.

"Huh?" responded a startled Kurumu as she pulled herself back from him.

"You are obviously using me to accomplish some higher goal. What is it?" Narut reiterated.

"What the hell! Why is my charm not working!" screamed Kurumu.

"It never did, I knew you were trying to use me for some reason. So I played along to find out why. The fact that you hand a nice chest and rubbed it up against me was also an added bonus." stated Naruto nonchalantly.

"You tricked me!" accused Kurumu.

"Turnabout is fair play." he retorted.

"Argh! I can't believe after I've done for you...some of it was so embarrassing!" ranted Kurumu.

_'So she's not as shallow or easy as she pretends...'_ observed Naruto.

"It's that vampire bitch isn't it! She put you up to this! I'll destroy everyone that has anything to do with her!" screamed Kurumu as she transformed. She sprouted wings and a tail along with long nails and pointy ears as her true form revealed itself. Naruto shifted into a battle stance as she charged them only for them both the be distracted by the arrival of Moka.

"Stop it! Get away from Naruto!" shrieked Moka as she charged and shoved Kurumu right out the window.

"I really hope those wings are functional..." commented Naruto.

"Naruto! I'm sorry you got mixed up with this! She's targeting you to get revenge on me!" exclaimed Moka.

Naruto waved off her concern, "It's not a big deal. I knew something was up from the get go."

"To believe I was thrown so far...a vampire's strength is really something. Come out now! I'll destroy both of you together!" yelled Kurumu.

Naruto grabbed Moka and hopped out the window with Kurumu circling overhead.

"A feisty one eh? Time to get wild!" stated a grinning Naruto as he formed an all to familiar hand sign.

"Wait! Take off my rosary!" pleaded Moka.

Naruto looked back at her annoyed, "What?"

"Release the seal! I must fight this girl. She's been after me this whole time." pleaded Moka again.

_'Dammit! I really wanted to fight! But it's like I can't say no to that face.' _thought Naruto._  
_

"Fine, have it your way." grumbled Naruto as he pulled of the Rosario._ 'You better rip off some clothing to at least make this worth my while!'_

Kurumu was stunned and slightly scared by the explosion of Moka's aura as she transformed into her true form. However, after seeing the beautiful adult Moka jealousy and bravado won out over fear.

"Hmph! Don't mess around with me! There's no way I could lose! We succubi seek a 'destined encounter' among the men we temp. Out of all the men there will only be one who is our destined one, who will help keep our small race from dieing out! I won't let you get away with standing in my way no matter what!" declared Kurumu.

"So that's it? That pathetic reason is why you bear your fangs at the likes of me? Foolish girl, know your place!" yelled Moka.

Kurumu charged Moka trying to slice the Vampire in two, only for Moka to dodge easily and grab onto her tail.

"Too slow. Why don't I rip off these wings and tail you're so proud of?" mocked Moka as she yanked her up by her tail before swinging down slamming Kurumu into the ground back first creating a huge crater. Kurumu gasped out in pain as her body impacted.

"That attack was far too weak for someone of my level. You may have the attitude of a devil, but underneath it all you're nothing more than a weak little girl. I'll make sure you know your place." threatened Moka as she stalked towards the downed succubus.

Kurumu cried out in fear and pain as she approached.

"That's enough." commanded Naruto stepping in between you. "You've had your fun, time to go back to sleep."

"What are you doing? Move!' ordered Moka. "This woman not only intended to trick you, but she wanted to kill you as well."

"There's no reason for you to kill her. She's no real threat. I just needed to see where her true motives lie. She's not really that dangerous, outside of being a hormonal teenage girl. I thought you were above all that? Or did the fact she was trying to take me away really get to you that much?" countered Naruto.

"Hmph! Don't misunderstand me Naruto Uzumaki. I just didn't want your blood stolen away from me, I'm different from the other Moka." retorted Moka.

"As if that wasn't totally obvious, she's not a conceited bitch." replied a slightly annoyed Naruto, but Moka had already put the Rosario back on and collapsed into his arms.

"Somehow, I feel like I'm the one who lost out here. Not only did I not get to fight, I'm going to need an ice cold fucking shower..." grumbled Naruto as he picked picked up the other unconscious girl and started making his way towards the school.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The next day Moka explained to Naruto about her inner self speaking to her through the Rosario.

"So the Rosario can talk to you? That sucks, hopefully she's too lazy to bother you much. One of my best friends had a demon and a crazy priest sealed inside him; it almost drove him insane." stated Naruto. _'Actually it did.'_

"It is strange. Hopefully the seal isn't weakening." added Moka.

"You don't have too much to worry about, even if the seal went away you'd still be you right? I didn't used to be so lucky." reassured Naruto. '_Even now there's no telling what will happen to me..._'

"Naruto..." whispered Moka as she gave him a heartfelt look, touched by his words.

"GOOD MORNING!" greeted Kurumu as she popped up right behind them, startling them both.

_'Not this one again...' _thought Naruto as he let out an annoyed sigh._  
_

"Naruto-kun! I baked some cookies, won't you eat them with me?" asked Kurumu.

"Why me?" groaned Naruto, dreading the answer.

"Remember when I told you I was searching for my one and only destined one? I've decided it's Naruto!" proclaimed Kurumu.

"EH?" exclaimed Moka and Naruto.

"After you risked your life for me, I couldn't help but fall for you!" added Kurumu. Immediately she and Moka started bickering leaving Naruto to start pulling on his hair in frustration.

_'Somehow this isn't how I planned it...These girls are fucking crazy! One likes my blood and the other thinks I'm her destined one? I'm just trying to get laid by a cute girl! There's only one way out of this now..pull an ero-sennin!'_ thought Naruto.

Naruto put on a perverted grin and leered at Kurumu's breasts. He reached his hand out towards them, however instead of dealing a pervert repelling blow like he expected Kurumu placed his hand on his breast and forced him to squeeze.

"If you wanted to touch you just had to ask." she stated with a shy pout. Moka leveled a glare at the two, but the entire thing was too much for Naruto to handle.

"So soft!" cried out Naruto as he passed out with a massive nose bleed. Moka's irritation was soon forgotten at the sight of Naruto's blood as she and Kurumu started a tug of war over his body.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The next day Naruto found himself in homeroom, and as usual he was bored out of his mind. _'I should have trained myself today at let a clone attend class, instead of vice versa.'_

"You should all be exited, today is a very special day!" cheerfully declared Nekonome.

Most of the students groaned at Nekonome's enthusiasm.

"Being that the goal of this academy is to train monsters to adapt to human society, starting today you're all going to be taking up club activities." she explained. Naruto droned out her long explanation instead focusing on the tail that was wagging at the bottom of her skirt.

_'I understand ero-sannin now that I'm older. The temptations are everywhere!'_ thought Naruto as he tried to will her tail to lift up her skirt even higher. He dropped out of his daydreaming when she proceeded to claw a student in the face for insulting her transformation abilities. _'But the consequences of falling to those temptations are dire...' _

_'Instead of giving unwanted advances, let them come to you!'_ thought Naruto as Moka grabbed him dragged him from the class to go searching for a club. After some time of searching amoung the crowds, Naruto got separated from Moka as she went to investigate clubs tha catered more to girls interests. He stood off the the side of the hall frowning with his hands in his pockets.

"This is a waste of time!" growled Naruto. "All these clubs suck!"

"I wouldn't say that surely someone like you could appreciate the swim club!" a sultry voice called out from his left. He turned to face a pretty dark haired girl in revealing outfit.

Images of Moka and Kurumu in bathing suits flashed through his mind before he sadly shot the idea down,_ 'While it would be nice to see the girls in swimsuits, Moka can't join because she's a vampire.'_

"Yo Naruto how about the photography club!" a nerdy looking boy holding a camera called out to him. Soon he found himself surrounded on all sides.

"Naruto over here! The chemistry club!" shouted a group that stormed over.

"Screw that, he's going to be with us, the tea club!" shrieked some girls.

"Why the hell does everyone want this guy in their club." questioned a guy from the soccer club as he observed the mob surrounding Naruto.

"He's the guy the two hottest first year girls are fighting over. Any club he joins, they'll follow!" replied the guy next to him.

"Oi! Naruto the soccer club! Over hear!" he yelled while trying to make his way through.

"You know what! You guys need to give me some space." stated Naruto, not liking all these people crowding around him.

"Yes, give the man some space. He'll becoming with us, the Karate club!" ordered a large muscular guy as he marched through crowd with about half a dozen club members knocking people aside.

"I'll be coming with you?" questioned an indignant Naruto.

"Yeah you don't have a choice in the matter." replied the smug looking leader.

"I've been looking for a good scrap. Let's go!" declared a beckoning Naruto.

"Alright! I see a little demonstration is in order." The club leader stepped aside and two-second year students stepped forward. They rushed Naruto both leaping with flying kicks. Naruto moved too quickly for them to follow and appeared right in between the two of them landing punches in their guts easily taking them down. The next three charged, the first leading with an attack ahead of the second two. Naruto deflected the blow before grabbing and throwing him into a guy charging him from the right. He then nailed the last of the trio with a spinning kick that sent him flying into a wall.

"Impressive! Look's like you be bringing skill along with eye candy too..." bellowed the leader, but he was cut off as a Naruto elbowed him in the gut before hammering him in the chin with an uppercut. As the leader stumbled backwards Naruto grabbed him by the back of neck and dragged him across the room before slamming him head first into a trashcan, with his legs dangling out the top. Naruto immediately turned to face the crowd and flipped up his sunglasses and let loose a massive amount of killing intent as his jagan enhanced eyes seemed to pulse with energy.

"Let it be known, that Naruto Uzumaki is the number punk of Yokai Academy. Anybody who wants to dispute that can tell it to my fists." immediately the mob dissembled as people fled the hall in fear.

_'While pranking people has it's merits, the Yusuke approach is much more effective.'_ thought Naruto as he cracked his knuckles in a menacing fashion.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

A few days later Naruto ambled through the walls aimlessly, still not having found a club. He hadn't seen Moka around too much, figuring she'd already found a club that suited her.

"Dammit I still have to join a club." grumbled Naruto. "And I need one where I can come and go as I please no questions asked."

"Oh Naruto! We were looking for you!" Naruto turned to face his homeroom teacher and Moka. "You are the only one who hasn't joined a club yet!" exclaimed Nekonome.

"Yeah, well I haven't found a good one..." mumbled Naruto.

"Excellent, Moka said you might be interested in joining my club, the newspaper club. Moka is the only one that has joined so it might get shut down..." she trailed off.

"Naruto, you should sign join up! It'll we be fun to go around and investigate things for stories!" added Moka.

_'Good looking out Moka.'_ thought Naruto as he caught on to what she was really saying. "Alright, let's do it."

"Great! I'm joining too!" exclaimed Kurumu who seemingly popped up out of nowhere. Immediately she entered into a stare off with Moka. Naruto sighed at the feuding girls.

_'I wonder if this is what the teme felt like...nah! He was definitely gay.' _thought Naruto.

* * *

A/N: I'm adding Kurumu too; she's the last girl. I was on the fence before, but the way this chapter came out she's definitely in. Naruto should also see more combat action coming up in the next few chapters.


	6. The Rebirth of True Literature

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything

* * *

**The Rebirth of True Literature**

"Please Naruto-kun?" asked Moka with a pouting look. Naruto sighed before shaking his head in exasperation.

"Go ahead." While still annoying, Naruto was starting to enjoy the finer points of Moka sucking his blood, like the way she rubbed up against him as she fed. As soon as Moka had her fill she moved back into her seat and Naruto experienced the new secondary benefit of those bites.

"Oh, did that mean Vampire bite you again? Let Kurumu make it all better!" exclaimed Kurumu as she rubbed Naruto's face between her breasts.

_'Yes, this is the life...' _thought a drooling Naruto as Kurumu and Moka started their morning stare down.

"Well then, everyone thanks for joining my club!" greeted Nekonome-sensei as she entered the classroom, ending the trio's morning festivities. "So let's begin the club activities for the Yokai Academy newspaper club!"

_'We're the only members!'_ shouted the collective minds of Kurumu, Moka, and Naruto.

"I know I only signed up at the last minute, but is it just us three?" questioned Kurumu,

"Don't be silly!" replied Nekonome-sensei.

"Excuse me!" called out a male voice as the classroom door opened.

"See, he here comes right now, our only other member." stated Nekonome.

_'Only one more! Not a big difference!'_ thought Naruto.

"I'm sorry everyone. Here I am late on the first day..." a dark haired teen carrying a pair of bouquets of flowers behind his back entered. "Greetings! I'm the president of the newspaper club, Ginei Morioka! Pleased to meet ya!" he greeted with a sparkling smile.

_'President!'_ thought Moka and Kurumu.

Immediately Naruto's bullshit radar went nuts_, 'The cheesy smile, the flowers, and compliments...I smell an ero-president! Perverts far beyond your capabilities have met defeat at my hands! Prepare yourself!'_

"Nekonome-sensei told me all about our beautiful club members! Please accept these...used chopsticks?" Gin was puzzled, the flowers in his hands had somehow become chopsticks with bits of ramen noodles on them.

"Uh, no thank you?" replied Kurumu as she and Moka slowly backed away from Gin towards Naruto.

"In honor of joining our new club, I brought you girls some flowers!" exclaimed Naruto as he whipped Gin's flowers out from behind his back, he was rewarded with simultaneous hugs from the girls.

"Oh Naruto-kun! How thoughtful!" they squealed.

Behind their backs Naruto gave Gina look that said, _'Sucker! Naruto 1, Gin 0!'_

Gin responded with a look that screamed, _'You bastard!'_

"Gin-kun is the clubs only second year member. Just ask him anything you don't know about the club, OK?" advised Nekonome. "Well, I must be going, since I have a staff meeting. Take care of the rest of the introductory meeting Gin-kun."

"Sensei your leaving already?" asked a disappointed Moka.

_'Yes! Now I'll have plenty of time to payback this brat...'_ Gin's aspirations for revenge were suddenly halted when as he stared down Naruto, the blond gave him a look that sent chills down his spine.

_'Open-season on the perv!' _thought Naruto as a maniacal grin spread across his face._  
_

"See you later everyone! Make friends with your sempai, ok?" with wave Nekonome-sensei exited the room.

"Well let's see...I suppose an explanation of what the club does is in order." stated Gin while giving off his cheesy smile. "The goal of the newspaper club is to publish the school newspaper. Most of your activity will be reporting on all kinds of things within the academy and putting them in the newspaper! We'll be put into dangerous situations time after time for the sake of reporting! I'll tell you right now, this ain't gonna be no easy ride! Once you've joined, you should prepare yourself!"

After this there was an awkward silence which Moka tried to break, "He seems like someone we can depend on right?"

Naruto caught the malicious grin the quickly flashed across Gin's face, before returning to his cheesy smile.

"Hah! We don't need him! I've studied under a master of gathering information! Information that people would kill for. This little club is nothing!" boasted Naruto still sporting his insane grin. He suddenly pulled a kunai out of nowhere and spun it around his finger, "Perhaps you'd like to learn some of my interrogati..I mean interview techniques!"

_'Is this guy insane!'_ thought Gin as sweat poured down his face. "That won't be necessary. I was just messing with ya! Let's have some fun without all the strict talk!" He disarmingly replied while pulling out a poster and holding it up for the three of them to see, "This is our poster ad, let's put it up on the back wall!"

They moved to the back of the classroom to hang up the posters. Moka and Kurumu stood on top of two chairs, trying to put the posters on the wall as Naruto idly organized some papers while keeping an eye on Gin.

"Senpai! Is this high enough to stick the posters?" asked Moka.

"No! Just a bit higher!" replied Gin.

_'Ah, I see your game...'_ thought Naruto as he discretely moved across the room and opened one of the windows.

"Huh?" questioned Kurumu, frustrated because she could barely reach to where it was now.

"What! Even higher?" asked Moka in a slightly annoyed tone.

"Yea! Much, much higher!" ordered Gin, only to be interrupted by Naruto leaning over and whispering something into his ear.

"I have just witnessed something even greater than looking up skirts. Swim Club, white t-shirts, water fight!" whispered Naruto.

_'Maybe this guy isn't so bad after all...'_ thought Gin as he moved over to the open window. When he looked out he caught sight of several naruto clones in their sexy jutsu forms with different colors of hair giving him the finger before vanishing in a puff of smoke.

"What the..." Gin was cut off as Naruto hip checked him out the window before slamming it shut.

"What happened to sempai?" questioned Kurumu as they looked back down only seeing Naruto.

"He forgot to give something to Nekonome-sensei. He said to leave the posters where the are, the meeting is over."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

As class let out for the day, Gin spotted Naruto and Moka walking off towards the dorms. Gin spotted a pair of girls, a redhead and a blond, walking past and decided to get some info on the two, "Excuse me girls? Have a sec?"

"Huh?" they both replied.

"I was wondering if you could tell me something." stated Gin.

"What is it?" asked the blond girl.

"That Naruto guy and Moka-san are always together, but are they dating?" asked Gin.

"Well I'm not really sure, but they are a good match aren't they?" replied the redhead.

"Yeah it kind of make sense for the school beauty and school bad boy to go together right?" added the blond.

"Moka has the kind of beauty that even charms other women, and Naruto's not bad looking either on top of being the school rebel!" exclaimed the redhead.

"School rebel?" questioned a confused Gin.

"Yeah, he beat up the Karate Club captain the other day because he just looked at him wrong." informed the redhead.

"Plus rumor has it that Moka has been seen kissing Naruto on the neck, so they might be dating!" stated the blond.

"Wha..you say kiss on his neck?" stammered Gin before grabbing his hair and nearly ripping it out in frustration. "No way! You've gotta be kidding me! You've gotta be kidding me! Naruto-kuunnn!"

"Kyaa! What's with him!" shrieked both girls as he ran away.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The next day Gin spotted Naruto walking through the halls. He decided the previous night that he needed to get the blond away from Moka and hatched a plan to do so.

"Yo, Naruto!" exclaimed Gin as he approached Naruto.

"Oh Sempai! Sorry about the other day, the girls had turned back to see what we were doing and I had to cover for us!" replied Naruto with a fake grin.

_'Yeah right asshole!'_ thought Gin. "No worries, thanks for having my back. Come with me, today's club activities are outside."

_'Do you actually think you're going to pull a fast one on me?'_ thought Naruto. "No problem sempai! Let's go."

The duo made their way outside towards back of the school.

"Are we really doing club activities out here? This place is kind of out of the way." observed Naruto.

"Don't worry, everyone will show up real soon." replied Gin as they rounded a corner. "Here we are! This is the place!"

"We're doing club activities in an alley?" questioned Naruto.

"Look over there at that window up there. Why don't you take a peek inside? It's not going to bite. Just take a look! It'll be interesting." suggested Gin.

_'Bingo! You're trying to get me caught peeping! It was only one time that even Ero-sennin managed such a feat! That's why I always carry this around now...' _After making his way over towards the window Naruto, looked back to make sure Gin's back was turned before slipping some spray glue out of his pocket and spraying it on the crate in front of him. He then coated his feet with chakra so not to get stuck himself as he stepped on to get eye-level with the window.

"Oh and one more thing..." spoke Gin as he ran his fingers through his hair, "Moka-san is even better than I heard. Y'know… I really like her. She's even got me falling in love with her at first sight. I'm serious. I'm going to make sure Akashiya Moka becomes my woman!"

Normally those would have been fighting words for Naruto, but if all went according to his plan Gin would get his soon enough. As Naruto looked up towards the window he discretely made the hand sign for the substitution technique and swapped places with Gin. Said boy was shocked to find himself, peering into the girls changing room instead of his camera, the flash of his camera going off brought him back to focus.

"What! how?.." Naruto waved Gin's camera in front of his face as the confused boy stared at him in shock.

"Heh, you should know better than to fuck with Naruto Uzumaki, the number punk of Youkai Academy. I would beat the shit out you myself, but I think they have first dibs." Naruto cupped his hands before shouting, "PERVERT PEEPING IN THE GIRLS CHANGING ROOM!"

Gin slowly turned back in horror to find the girls in the changing room all covering themselves while giving him a death glare. As he turned to flee, he found himself glued to crate he was standing on and tripped over. As he heard the stampede of righteous female fury, he rolled over and attempted to hop away with the crate still glued to his feet, but something nailed him in the back of the head, and then all he knew was pain.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The next night Moka stood on the roof looking over the railing as she waited for Naruto and Kurumu to meet up with her.

"Oh! So this is where you've been Moka-san?" A voice came from behind Moka. She turned around to face Gin, who was waving and smiling at her.

"It's night already. Look, it's a beautiful full moon tonight." Gin said as he looked up at the moon, a mysterious grin spreading across his face.

"Gin-Sempai?" questioned a confused Moka, unsure of why he was here.

"I'm sorry to tell you this, but that Naruto guy you hang out with is bad news." stated Gin casually.

"Huh?" replied Moka.

"Yeah, he's a real bully. He just harasses and beats people up for no reason. He even went after me, take a look at these photos." He pulled out some doctored photos of him getting beaten by Naruto, when it really had been the girls he'd gotten caught peeping on.

"There must be some kind of mistake!" exclaimed Moka.

"No mistake. It's a shame, huh?" Gin wrapped an arm around her, "You should just forget about that guy."

"Um.." murmured Moka starting to feel uncomfortable.

"Tonight, I'll console you." whispered Gin.

"Uh, no thanks!" Moka tried to pull away from him, but he wouldn't let her go. "Hey! Let go!"

"I'm only trying to hold you tenderly." said Gin.

"No, you're trying to feel me up!" shrieked Moka.

"Haha, Well, it is a full moon isn't it? On nights with a full moon, I'm overcome with a feeling of power and suddenly lose all control!" stated Gin as he stared up at the moon. He turned back to Moka and puckered his lips.

"Stop! Those photos must be fakes! Naruto-kun isn't the type of person to be mean for no reason!" as she tried to pull away from him. A kunai suddenly sailed by Gin's face, knocking the teen on his ass. He stared from were the kunai stabbed into the ground and followed its path of flight back to Naruto who was standing on the edge of a nearby roof with Kurumu.

"You've been caught red handed you greasy bastard!" proclaimed Naruto.

"YOU BASTARD! You're the one responsible for my humiliation these past few days! I've been labeled a peeper!" Gin roared back.

"Dude you are a peeper." deadpanned Naruto.

"Yeah, I was following you guys the other day and saw how you tried to set up Naruto-kun. You got what you deserved." declared Kurumu.

"I don't like dirty guys!" declared Moka while sticking her tongue out at him.

"You can't be serious? Looks like you're leaving me no other choice..." he suddenly crouched over as winds whipped around his body violently as his youkai energy spiked and he transformed into to his true form, a werewolf. **"I'll take you by force and make you my woman Moka Akashiya!****"** he roared only to be startled by a second explosion of demon energy on the roof as Naruto pulled off Moka's Rosario.

"Do you really think you can take _her_ by force?" joked Naruto as he pointed at the fully transformed Moka, her aura even more imposing than Gin's.

"Heh? This is Moka-san's true from? Hahaha! This is awesome, even after transforming, you are still beautiful Moka-san!" exclaimed Gin. He leaped into the air towards her, "I don't care if you are a vampire, I'll still beat you down and make you my woman!"

"Don't mess around with me..." started Moka only to be cut off as a kick from Naruto blindsided Gin knocking him off course. The werewolf growled as he skidded back along the ground.

"While she may not need me to fight her battles for her, she's only here to watch." stated Naruto as he loosened his tie and discarded his jacket.

"This is-" started Moka only to be cut off by Naruto.

"Even though I did call dibs on the next fight when you fought Kurumu, I'll let you, not your other self, have a drink of my blood for this fight." stated Naruto.

"I was going to say this your fight since I got the last one, but since you offered your blood so freely to me who am I to refuse?" replied Moka with a smirk.

"Fool, do think a low class thug like you is a match for me? You only surprised me before, with my true speed you don't stand a chance!" growled Gin.

Naruto's reply was only to make a beckoning gesture, causing Gin to charge. The wolf blurred and reappeared in front of Naruto slashing him across the chest only for Naruto to vanish in a puff of smoke and be replaced by a log. Naruto attempted to strike Gin from his blindside, but the wolf blurred away again. Gin returned to the offensive blurring around the roof trying to slash Naruto, only for the blond to escape a critical blow via a dodge or substitution technique every time.

"He's moving so fast, how can he keep up with him?" questioned Kurumu.

"He must have faced an even faster opponent in the past." replied Moka as she watched with a critical eye. _'You won't win this fight being on the run, the whole time Uzumaki...'_

_'Your speed is good, but you've got nothing on Hiei.' _thought Naruto as he evaded another strike.

"I know I'm faster than you, how are you evading me!" growled Gin as he barely grazed Naruto's shirt with a slash

"I can do this all day." taunted Naruto. _'My body may not be as fast as his, but my eyes help me anticipate his moves.'_

Gin zoomed towards Naruto slashing the blond across the arm, however Naruto shook of the blow like it was nothing and nailed the werewolf with a punch to the side of the face sending him skidding backwards. Suddenly the clouds overhead shifted revealing the full moon. "It's over for you now! The full moon brings a werewolf's power to its peak! As long as it's out, I'm invincible!"

Moka moved to jump into the fray only to be halted by Naruto.

"Stay right where you are! Full moon or not, this chump can't beat me!" declared the blond.

Gin's speed picked up significantly as he blurred around the roof, Naruto merely crossed his arms in front of himself to block. The werewolf slashed away at the blond mercilessly, gouges formed on his arms and tears in his clothes, but Naruto stood firm.

"How do you plan to beat me if you can't attack! Maybe if you revealed your true form you might stand a chance." mocked Gin.

"Ha, I need nothing more than my eyes to beat you." Naruto as he removed his sunglasses and pocketing them, revealing his slitted jagan enhanced eyes. "Thanks to these eyes of mine, I've quickly become accustomed to your speed and attack patterns!"

_'I recognize those eyes, how did he get a natural jagan! What kind of youkai is he! Never mind that, with the full moon, I'm still unbeatable!' _thought Gin._  
_

Gin blurred out of sight going in for a slash of Naruto's neck only for his claw to be grasped by Naruto's bare hand holding him in place. As blood leaked from the wound on Naruto's hand Gin went to slash with his other claw, but Naruto's eyes suddenly pulsed and he found himself unable to move.

"What is this! I can't move!" roared Gin.

"Ha! Your speed doesn't do you any good if you can't move!" mocked Naruto as he outstretched his free hand palm up. A clone appeared next to him forming his father's signature attack in his hand.

_'This is not good...'_ thought a panicking Gin as he felt the power emitting from the impending attack.

**"RASENGAN!"** Naruto shoved the spiraling sphere right into Gin's gins chest, sending the werewolf flying and crashing into and through a building wall.

"Shit, I didn't mean to send him through the wall, I might have killed him..." he then heard a loud groan followed by a thud. "Phew! He's still alive! I'll take him to the infirmary, see you girls later."

"You're going to let him go? What about your drink of blood?" questioned Kurumu as Naruto went to go dig Gin out.

"I can collect it anytime, do you think he would have the audacity to refuse me?" replied Moka as she put the Rosario back on.

"Actually, yes. Unlike me, he's not afraid of you." murmured Kurumu as she held up the unconscious Moka.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The next day as Gin turned to leave the infirmary, he found Naruto standing in the doorway._  
_

"Ah! No more! I give!" shouted the werewolf.

"Relax, I'm not here to torment you anymore. I'm here to tell you, that you've passed the test." stated Naruto.

"Passed the test?" asked a confused Gin.

"My sensei was a great man, a shameful man, but a great man none the less. He possessed two great legacies; he was both a powerful warrior and a magnificent writer. Due to circumstances I was only able to fulfill half of his legacy. I am the last great warrior he ever taught, his true pride however laid in his legacy as the super pervert." declared Naruto.

"Im-Impossible!" stammered Gin. "I thought the tales were mere myths!"

_'Wow, it seems your perversion transcended dimensions ero-sennin.'_ thought Naruto as he whipped out a notebook and handed it to Gin. "No, they were indeed true. A man whose peeping skills and evasion techniques knew no bounds. His research always top notch, the great Jiraiya-sama never failed to immortalize of beautiful woman."

"This..this research is incredible! The details! He even documented all the tools required of a great researcher." stated Gin as he flipped through the notebook.

"I thought you were just some over eager clown when you pulled that girls peeping scam, but the way you took that beating...you have the ability to become the successor!" declared Naruto.

"But..." started Gin only to be cut off by Naruto.

"No buts! Only butts! Don't you owe it to your fellow men to carry on the great legacy, and spread the greatness of Icha Icha to all the corners of the world!" bellowed the blond.

"Yes!" yelled Gin.

"Then go forth and do research!" ordered Naruto.

"Honorable Jiraiya-sama, I'll make you proud!" exclaimed Gin as he raced out of the room.

"Not only did I prank him once again, I've started my spy network, all in all a good day." stated Naruto as he whipped out the new edition of the school newspaper from his pocket. The headline read, **"Gin Morioka: Peeper & Author?"** The sounds of Gin fleeing once again from a mob of angry girls was music to his ears.

* * *

A/N: Gin following in Jiraiya's footsteps? It just had to be done.


	7. The LizardMan Secret Society

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything

* * *

**The Lizard-Man Secret Society  
**

The freshman students of Youkai academy gathered outside to find their fates. Yes, it was one of the days dreaded by all students everywhere, the posting of midterm test results. The trio of Moka, Kurumu, and Naruto ignored the shouts of their fan-boys and fan-girls as they searched for their names.

"Oh, look I'm 13th!" said Moka as she found her name.

"I have no idea how you pay attention to this stuff, our classes are way to boring." commented Naruto.

"For someone who does the bare minimum, your doing surprisingly well Mr. 77." dryly replied Kurumu as she searched for her own name.

"I'm not that smart, I just cheat well. So don't feel to bad Ms. 133." retorted Naruto.

"As expected from the number one punk of our esteemed academy." teased Moka. "You don't have to cheat, I could teach you my study techniques..."

"Let me guess, in return for you getting to suck my blood?" replied Naruto causing Moka to turn away with a blush. "Studying will cut into my training, how about I cheat off of you instead?"

"Oh! Cheating is bad, but your blood is just so good! I don't know what to do!" exclaimed Moka.

"You don't have to resort to that, I can use my charm to get some boys to do your wok for you!" promised Kurumu as she rubbed Naruto's face into her chest. He was quickly yanked back by Moka as the two girls started their morning argument.

_'They're becoming too predictable.'_ thought a sighing Naruto. On the other side of the crowd a small girl in a bizarre outfit eyed the group with curiosity.

"Congratulations Yukari-san! It looks like you're #1 again!" complemented a sandy haired teen as he loomed over the small dark haired girl. She wasn't really paying attention to him, her eyes focused on Moka as she conversed with Naruto and Kurumu.

"Just what we should expect from the girl genius. Even though she's just eleven she didn't get to skip ahead to high school for nothing." added one of his companions.

The sandy haired boy's smile instantly morphed into a vicious sneer, "Don't get a big head brat. In our eyes you're nothing more than an immature brat who reeks of her mothers milk."

"Class representative?" questioned Yukari, as her attention finally shifted away from Moka as she looked to the boy.

"And what's the big idea with this outfit! It defies school rules!" he yelled while flicking her hat. "I despise people who stick out!"

"Please stop that!" she cried out, holding onto her hat to keep it from coming off.

"As the class representative, your very existence gives me a headache." he continued. "After all, your true form is a witch is it not? How disgusting! I feel like vomiting, just thinking that you're in the same grade as me!"

A frown suddenly flashed across Yukari's face as stone on the ground levitated and flew into the back of the class representative's head.

"AHHAHAHA! You deserved that!" said a giggling Yukari.

"What the hell did you just do to me!" he yelled while charging to attack her only to be stopped as Moka jumped in front of him with her arms spread.

"Stop! I know I don't have anything to do with this, but I can't let this go..." stated Moka. "Please stop using violence towards girls."

"Yeah, if you wanted to fight all you had to do was ask! I'm sure I can give you a better scrap than a little kid!" bellowed Naruto as he appeared on the scene cracking his knuckles.

"It's Uzumaki! Let's get out of here!" yelled one of the group.

"Grr..This isn't over!" yelled the class rep as he the others retreated.

"Oh come on guys! I promise it won't hurt...for more than a few days!" taunted Naruto as the fled.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"You really saved me! Thank you! My name is Yukari Sendou!" exclaimed the small girl as she introduced herself. Naruto, Moka, and Yukari sat around one of the patio tables outside the cafeteria. Naruto initially wanted to go have some fun chasing after the class rep and his lame thugs, but Moka insisted he come along to meet Yukari.

"I heard that even though your in our grade you're only a 11? And ranked first? You're really smart aren't you Yukari-chan!" complimented Moka.

Yukari blushed and started waving her hands around emphatically trying to dismiss the praise, "No well.. cool is such...I mean I'm not...I'm just..."

"Don't dismiss yourself so quickly, you stud up to those punks even before we arrived." commented Naruto causing the girl to blush even more.

"Still I 'm not as strong as you guys...and Moka-san is the one who's pretty and sweet. In fact..." Yukari leaped at Moka, glomping the pink haired girl. "I WUVV YOU MOKA-SAN!"

_'Eh?' _yelled the minds of Naruto and Moka.

"Every time I saw you from across the hall I fell in love with you a bit more. Then after you saved me, my heart made it's mind up! So please will you go out with me? Is that so bad, dating someone like me?" pleaded Yukari as she tugged on Moka's jacket.

_'Great Moka's got a mini stalker. I hope mine is way hotter than this one.'_ thought Naruto. Somewhere a violet haired girl sneezed and nearly choked on her lollipop.

Moka didn't have the heart to crush the girl, "Eh..as friends?"

"Yeah! I'm so happy!" shrieked Yukari. The excitable girl immediately dragged Moka out into the hallway, still clinging to her closely with Naruto following behind watching them with amusement.

"Wow! Moka-san's chest is even bigger than it looks!" exclaimed Yukari as she grasped Moka's chest with both hands and squeezed. The surprise grab caused Moka to stumble and fall over with Yukari landing on top of her. "It's sooo soft! This is like a dream!"

"Stop...for some reason I can't move!" yelled Moka.

"This is not a dream for toddlers." stated an annoyed and slightly jealous Naruto as he plucked Yukari off of Moka, allowing the vampire to regain her bearings. Yukari didn't take kindly to being held up in the air like a piece of paper a squirmed out of his grasp.

"Please don't get in our way! I know all about you!" yelled Yukari with an accusing tone.

Naruto raised an eyebrow at this, "Really?"

"Naruto Uzumaki, above average in the class, athletic ability good, but you'rr a delinquent! I love Moka-san and I don't want someone like you to bring her down into the dirt!" declared Yukari.

"Brat! Do you really want to make an enemy of me?" retorted Naruto, his patience running thin.

"Duh!" she pulled down her eyelid and stuck her tongue out at him. "That's why I'm declaring war on you!"

Naruto couldn't believe this girl, "Seriously?"

Yukari pulled out her magic wand and pointed it at a closed locker, "I'll make sure you never come near Moka-san again!" The locker opened and a bunch of brooms flew out attacking Naruto only for him to vanish in a puff of smoke. Yukari stared at the scene confused before waving her wand again, only to find it gone.

"This is a nice wand you got here. The source of your power, I promise not to break it if you stop being a pest." offered Naruto.

"No way! Give it back thief! I'm a witch, and I'll use my powers to thwart off any boy who tries to get close to Moka-san." she retorted defiantly. Naruto rewarded her by smacking her in the back of the head with her wand.

"Oww..." she whispered wile rubbing the sore spot on the back of her head.

"You've got guts kid, you're alright. Never back down from anybody." chuckled Naruto as walked away scratching his chin in thought. _'I completely forgot what the problem with witches was supposed be! I better get on that before this kid get's roughed up or worse...Oh! Almost forgot!'_ Naruto flung her wand back over his head, and was rewarded with a satisfying sound of 'Oww!' as he hit his target again.

"I'm sorry, Naruto's a bit rough around the edges, but he means well!" said Moka as she handed Yukari her wand back.

"No worries..." mumbled Yukari, still shocked by his words.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Naruto tried contacting Botan to get the information he required, but she didn't respond. He then went looking for Gin, but he'd be caught doing research by the swim club and ending up in the infirmary. Having no other options he resorted to Kurumu, the resident gossip queen.

"What can you tell me about our resident little witch?" he asked as they worked on some tasks for the newspaper.

"Yukari Sendou?" she questioned.

"Yeah, this brat from earlier who was spouting all kinds of crap about how she's not going to let any boy get close to Moka. It's amusing for now, but could get annoying in the future." he answered.

_'Yes! Thanks to this brat, I get to spend more time alone with Naruto-kun!'_ thought Kurumu as she pumped her fist in victory. "I've heard rumors about that girl! Even though she's called a girl genius or whatever, it still sounds like she's a selfish little kid! I've heard she always playing pranks and hated by her class."

_'Sounds way too familiar...'_ thought Naruto with a sigh.

"What can you tell me about witches?" asked Naruto.

"Well, you know it's hard to tell if witches are youkai or humans right? Long ago witches were the boundary beings who connected the supernatural world and human worlds before everything was closed off. Now they are considered half-breeds and their races are discriminated against. On top of that they are hated in the human world too, there used to be things called witch hunts where humans killed a lot of witches back in the middle ages." explained Kurumu.

Naruto snorted in disgust, "Sounds like a load of crap to me. The Youkai passed down a hatred of witches because they no longer allowed them to travel freely between worlds, and the humans hate them, because they were the gateways to beings who used them as food."

"You know that makes a lot more sense than the halfbreed thing." replied Kurumu in agreement.

"Either way it wasn't their fault. The higher ups changed the rules and everyone who was pissed used the witches as scapegoats." stated Naruto with a hint of anger in his voice that Kurumu picked up on.

"Why are you so mad?" she asked.

"Let's just say, I know a thing or two about being a scapegoat." he replied.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The next day students scrambled away from the freshman class rep holding their noses as he made his way to morning classes. All in all he had a pretty damn shitty start to the morning. Someone had released a skunk and set off multiple stink bombs in his dorm room during the night along with dousing his entire wardrobe with itching powder. He was in the shower forever trying to scrub away both the itching and the smell. As he approached his group of friends in hallway on his way to homeroom, they all greeted him with strange glances.

"What?" he questioned at their odd looks.

"Uh, dude your hair." replied one of his friends pointing at his head. He then took a glance at his reflection in a window.

"What the hell!" exclaimed the class rep as he ran his hands through his hot pink hair. Everyone in the hall could no longer hold back their laughter as he face turned a shade of pink almost equal to his hair in embarrassment.

"Damn half-breed disgrace..." he grumbled while stomping towards homeroom. He knew the brat was responsible for all of this somehow.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Later that day the entire freshman class had gathered in an empty classroom for a meeting. The class rep and his group of friends stood at the front of the room as he started his portion of the meeting.

"For our first order of business..." he began only to be cut off as his body went ramrod straight.

_'What the hell I can't control my body!'_ he thought as he suddenly ripped off his clothes leaving himself in only his shoes and to his surprise a pair of pink lace panties. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed the rest of his friends except one in the same predicament.

_'Where the hell did these come from!'_ soon music started to play and he found himself dancing and singing along to the song 'It's Raining Men!' along with his friends as they took turns giving the last one lap dances. The ruckus laughter of the rest of the freshman class nearly drowned out the music.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"I've had it!" roared the class rep the next morning as he slammed down the school newspaper. The headlining article was about the secret gay lizard-man society that finally came out of the closet the previous day. It was supposedly lead by him.

"So what are we going do? It's not like we know who did it." stated one of his buddies.

"Isn't it obvious! That witch is behind all of this!" he roared.

"It couldn't have been her. Rumor has it she's become Uzumaki's little errand girl in exchange for protection." retorted another of his friends.

"Yeah, I've seen her running around getting him food and stuff." added the last guy at the table.

"Don't you see! It's all a front! She probably used her little magic to help create the rumor, but is using it as a smokescreen to create all this chaos!" yelled the class rep.

"Yeah, it seems everyone who says something bad about witches has had some kind of prank happen to them. Non as bad as you though."

"We just need to get the little disgrace when she's alone and then handle things..._**for good!**_"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Yukari found herself in a bit of a hurry as she scrambled through the halls and the door on her way to the dorms. Unfortunately she didn't wasn't paying attention to where she was going as she rounded a corner and slammed into someone.

"Oww! Watch where you're going stupid!" moaned Yukari as she landed on her rear.

"Well, well, well...if it isn't little Yukari-san." sneered the class rep as he and his posse loomed over the fallen girl.

"We've got you now brat!" roared one of his friends. A brief smirk flashed across Yukari's face before being replaced by a look of panic.

"Excuse me, but I've got to hurry! If I'm late Mr. Uzumaki will be very angry. Not only will he punish me, but he'll come after you too!" warned Yukari.

"You here that guys? Mr. Uzumaki might come after us!" mocked the class rep getting a round of laughter from his friends.

"The jig is up witch! Your little scam ends here and now! I know it's been you behind all my humiliation! You will pay for it tenfold!" Scales suddenly formed on his skin as he morphed into his true form, a lizard-man along with his three other comrades. He then roared at her, his tongue hanging out it the open dripping with saliva.

"Ah!" squeaked the frightened girl as she stumbled back into a tree. A thick fog seemed to roll in, limiting visibility .

"How disgusting! A witch like you has no place in our class. Why don't we rid our academy of you!" She tried to bring out her wand to defend herself, but with a swipe of his claws the class rep knocked it from her hands.

"Now what should we do with her?" he questioned while turning back to his friends.

"Yo! Why don't we eat her! Now that this thick fog has rolled in no one will notice!" one of them suggested.

"Excellent choice!" he then turned back to their prey as he sensed her movement. "Trying to flee! There is no escape!"

"This is your end witch!" he leaned down to bite her head off only to flail backwards in pain as he was slashed across the chest by an unseen foe. The fog had become so thick he could barely see in front of him now.

"What is this..." he gasped out while grasping his open wound.

"This is your death!" a voice seemed to echo from everywhere ominously called out. Suddenly the form of Yukari vanished in a puff of smoke.

"AHHH!"

"NOOO!"

Anger boiled up inside of him at the sound of his friends being slaughtered and the loss of his prey, "Come out and face us you coward!"

"You who chooses to harass a little kid is calling me a coward?" the voice echoed again. The class rep was rewarded with a vicious slash across his back causing him to cry out in pain.

Soon the form of Naruto appeared in front of him as the fog seemed to thin. The sight of the blond with his Jagan eyes flaring caused the class rep to stumble backwards in fear.

"Please! Have mercy!" begged the lizard-man.

"You desired to eat my friend, let see how you like being the bottom of the food chain!" Naruto's eyes flared even brighter as he suddenly morphed into the form on the vicious legendary nine tailed fox.

"No!" screamed the Lizard-man as one of the tails shot forth grabbing him around the waste. The lizard-man ceased struggling as the tip of another tail pierced his neck paralyzing him. He could only watch in horror as the massive paw of the Kyuubi brutally ripped off his limbs one by one and devoured them. As the Kyuubi finally decided to end his misery and flung his torso into his mouth, the class representative only saw darkness when it suddenly shattered bringing him back to the real world staring into the mirthful eyes of Naruto.

"Did you have a nice dream?" questioned Naruto with a smirk as he placed his sunglasses back on his face. It was all too much for the lizard-man as he fainted on the spot. The fog in the area quickly cleared out revealing that a clone that was utilizing the hidden mist technique to create it.

"What are we going to do with these guys boss?" questioned another clone as it leaned over an unconscious lizard-man.

"If we get rid of them, Botan will be on your ass about paperwork." advised the first clone.

"Yes, but then it would give me some time to ogle said girls ass." pondered Naruto.

"Yeah, but she might cause trouble with the others asking questions and what not." replied the first clone. Naruto suddenly flashed back to all the problems Botan caused Yusuke with Keiko.

"Dump them in the headmasters office and let him deal with it. For a guy who runs things, he doesn't get enough paperwork." declared Naruto.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

A few days later Moka and Kurumu were carrying boxes of supplies through the hall to the newspaper club.

"You know people aren't being so mean to Yukari-chan anymore." commented Moka.

"Yeah, and I heard she apologized to her class for playing all those pranks too. This was all after the rumor of Naruto roughing up the class rep and his group of course. " added Kurumu.

"That's great! She's really growing up! It seems like Naruto has really had a good influence on her." stated Moka with a proud smile.

Kurumu snorted, "More like people fear retribution through pranks or violence."

When they entered the classroom they were surprised to find Naruto walking towards them with Yukari riding on his shoulders. He was eating out of bowl, when he suddenly halted as he found it empty.

"Oi! Brat! Hit me!" called out Naruto. With a wave of her wand Naruto's bowl was instantly refilled with fresh ramen.

"Naruto! Don't take advantage of Yukari like that!" scolded Moka.

"He's not! He's my hired help, I pay him in ramen." explained Yukari.

"Dwam gwud whamen!" uttered Naruto with his mouthful as they turned to walk away.

_'Did this brat just steal him from us that easily?'_ thought a stunned Kurumu.

_'I thought those pranks were all Naruto-kun...what have we done?'_ thought an equally surprised Moka.

"So what are we going to do today Yukari?" questioned Naruto between a mouthful of noodles.

"The same thing we do everyday Naruto! Try to take over the world! Now, I've come to the realization that the world is run by paperwork. Massive amounts of paperwork that even overrides computer systems. Naruto are you pondering what I'm pondering?" she questioned.

"Yeah, but if you put cheese in ramen it just doesn't work. It comes out all messy." replied Naruto.

He was rewarded with a swat to the back of the head, "Focus!"

"Narf!" he responded.

Moka had no idea what just happened, "Naruto and Yukari?"

"Well, one is a genius and the other has ramen on the brain." replied a shrugging Kurumu.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

A/N: Kudos to the review from Ebony017 for the idea of using Ban Midou's jagan abilities from Get Backers. Now I kind of wish I had a Uchiha to pwn with the jagan right now, alas except for Itachi they are all better off dead. And if you didn't get the joke in that last little segment, go watch Pinky and the Brain. They just don't make cartoons in America like they used too.


	8. The True Nature of Art

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything

* * *

**The True Nature of Art  
**

As Naruto pondered the great mysteries of the universe, a shout interrupted his peaceful journey to the newspaper club.

"YO UZUMAKI!" a tall boy with strawberry blond hair stormed right up to Naruto getting right in his face. "I've heard all the rumors about you and I think their a bunch of crap! There's no way urchin headed trash like you could have possible done..."

He was cut off as Naruto suddenly poked him in the forehead with his index and middle fingers.

"Huh?" muttered the tall boy before Naruto suddenly flicked him in the same spot, sending him flying across the hall head first into a trash can.

"Yep, Baa-chan definitely cooler than Itachi..." he mumbled before opening the door to the newspaper club and stepping inside where he was immediately mobbed by Moka, Yukari, and Kurumu.

"Everyone gather round I've got some important news." declared Gin with a serious tone from his podium at the front of the room.

"What's up sempai?" asked Kurumu.

"I've got some information on the missing girls problem." stated Gin.

"Missing girls?" questioned the rest of the club.

"Exactly! Several female students have vanished one after another without a trace. Seven in just one month! It's not unusual for people to go missing here, but these number don't add up." Gin then passed around a sheet containing information on the missing girls.

Naruto didn't let the last part of his statement slip by, "Wait a minute, why isn't it unusual for people to go missing? I know this is a school for monsters, but wouldn't the teachers do something about?"

"Those people aren't exactly missing, the teachers know where they are. They are being 'punished', but that's not our biggest concern right now. The girls who have disappeared aren't trouble makers. This is the basic info on the girls who have vanished. We're going to find out all the facts on this incident!" roared Gin as he slammed his fist into the podium.

_'Looks like I choose well for the head of my information network.'_ thought Naruto as he looked over the file.

"As you can see from the photos the girls taken are all pretty hot! If someone is holding them hostage I want to save them somehow." Gin moved over and stared out the window with a pensive look. "If they see me in a good light, this could lead to excellent opportunities for my research!" he declared with a perverted grin.

_'Perhaps, I went too far with him.'_ thought Naruto with a sweat drop.

"A couple of the girls have friends in my homeroom class, should we start with them?" asked Kurumu.

"As good a place as any." replied Moka. As she, Yukari, and Kurumu went to leave she noticed Naruto staying behind, "You coming with us?"

Naruto shook his head, "No, I have a couple more questions for sempai. Go on ahead."

"Okay, we'll see you later!" replied Moka as the trio of girls excited.

"So who is it that's licensed to kidnap people around here?" asked Naruto.

Gin froze momentarily as a frown formed on his face before he replied, "Trust me you don't want to know. The minute you go dicking around in their affairs only bad things can happen."

Naruto dismissed his concern entirely, "I can handle myself."

Gin snorted, "I'm sure you can, but these bastards won't just come after you. They'll go after your little girlfriends as well."

"That would make them even bigger fools, but fine I'll drop this..._for now_" replied Naruto, thinking the last part to himself. "So, who is it?"

"Who is what?" responded Gin, slightly confused.

"Come on, the only reason you'd come to us is if you couldn't save the day yourself. You've already started eliminating people from the suspect list. Who's the main suspect?" asked Naruto.

Gin let out a sigh before responding, "It's the art teacher, Hitomi Ishigami. I can't dig any deeper because she avoids men like the plague."

Naruto immediately realized why he got them involved, "So you were hoping when the girls starting snooping around, she'd take the bait."

Gin shrugged in response, "Pretty much, no way she could resist keeping her paws off those two."

Naruto was mildly impressed, "Good plan, but I've got a better one."

"What's wrong with mine?" asked a slightly miffed Gin.

"Nothing, but with mine you'll get to do some research." replied Naruto.

Gin was now all ears, "I'm listening..."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Later that day Gin and Naruto found themselves in the hallway outside the girls changing room.

"Well, where's the research you promised? I can't exactly see into the girls changing room from this side." complained Gin as he tapped his foot impatiently in the middle of the hallway.

_'Of course not you idiot! We're here because the girls changing room is rather conveniently located across from the art classroom.' _thought Naruto as he waited for the arrival of their third party. He then sensed someone coming around the corner, _'Showtime!'_

"Gin sempai?" Gin turned around to unload his irritation on Naruto only to come face to face with four Naruto's in their sexy jutsu forms.

"Where have you been all my life foxy-sama!" cried out Gin as the site of Naruto's mini harem was too much for him and he shot back with a nosebleed that launched him into the changing room. With a poof of smoke the mini harem vanished and Naruto chuckled at the screams of pain now echoing throughout the hallway.

"Oh my! That was truly remarkable!" a feminine voice called out.

_'Bingo!'_ thought Naruto as he turned to face a woman with braided hair covered by a bandanna and paint stained clothing. "Huh?"

"That technique of yours is truly a magnificent piece of art! Such beauty is astounding!" she exclaimed.

"Thank you?" he responded with a clueless tone.

"Yes no doubt, you've put in much research to create such a flawless visage of beauty! You must let me capture it!" she pleaded.

"Capture it?" he asked looking for clarification.

"Yes, I would like you to model for me. I must immortalize your art and add it to my collection!" she stated as she hooked an arm around his and dragged him into her classroom, not intending to take no for answer.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The next day after class Naruto and Moka had almost reached the dorms before he remembered his little arrangement with Ishigami-sensei from the previous day.

"Later Moka, I'll see you tomorrow." said Naruto as he turned to head back towards the school.

"Wait! Where are you going? We're almost back at the dorms." asked Moka.

"Sorry, I've got somewhere I need to be. I'm doing a favor for someone." he replied.

"A favor?" she responded, wanting him to elaborate.

"Yeah, the art teacher asked me if I could model for her for a picture she's painting. I'll be doing it everyday after school this week." he explained.

She let out a sigh in disappointment, "Oh..."

"Don't worry, I'll still be working hard on the investigation for the club. It is my job after all." he responded trying to cheer her up.

The light bulb suddenly went of in her head, "Oh yeah! That's what why you stayed behind to ask Gin-sempai more questions!"

"Yeah, well I better get going." he said as he turned away.

"Wait, Naruto?" Moka called out.

"Yeah?" he responded turning around.

"Could you let me suck your blood? This will be goodbye for a while after today...I'll be lonely." she asked with a shy pout.

He simply couldn't resist her cute face, "Yeah, go ahead."

Suddenly she moved in close to him, her face right in front of his, "Oh, Naruto..."

"Moka..." murmured Naruto, tantalized by her face being so close to his.

"Thanks for the treat!" she exclaimed before clamping down on his neck.

_'Damn it! I fall for it every time!' _Naruto thought in exasperation.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Ishigami definitely confirmed Gin's preconceived notions about her. The woman was the lesbian version of Jiraiya. The minute he entered her classroom he was ordered to parade around in the clothed version of the sexy no jutsu at minimum. Somehow the female students in her classes didn't pick up in this vibe from her, as they flocked to the woman as if she were the pied piper of teenage girls. After spending a few days with the woman he still had no leads on what was happening to the missing girls. He figured she was taking them somewhere, but the woman spent nearly all her time with her beloved art. While his investigation was going nowhere, at the newspaper club Kurumu was becoming frustrated with him spending all his time with Ishigami. Moka and Yukari dismissed her concerns without much thought.

"I tell you that woman is up to something! She's after Naruto-kun!" bellowed Kurumu as she slammed her fists on the desk she was working at.

"But she's a teacher, she wouldn't go after student." stated Moka.

"Then why is Naruto the only boy she associates with outside of class? All her other favorite students are girls!" countered Kurumu.

Yukari waved of her concerns, "Naruto-sempai can handle himself from the feminine charm of some baa-chan."

"That woman can't be trusted! She might try to put him under some spell!" yelled Kurumu.

"You would know about that..." replied Yukari off-offhandedly.

"Fine! Who needs you guys anyway! I'll handle that bitch myself!" roared Kurumu as she stormed off.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Excuse me! I need to talk to Naruto-kun!" exclaimed Kurumu as she slammed the door to the art classroom open. She looked around to find the classroom completely empty. "What! No one's even here! I guess I'll just take a seat and wait for him then."

She moved to take a seat near the back of the room, when she heard a sobbing sound coming from behind her. She turned around, but all she found was a locker.

_'Is it coming from in here?'_ she thought while approaching. As she stepped in front of the locker the crying sound was even louder and she opened it to come face to face with a statue that seemed to be leaking tears.

"AHH!" she shrieked stunned. "What the heck is a statue doing crying! And why something like this in a locker...and that girl looks familiar..."

Kurumu nearly screamed again when someone grabbed her from behind. "What are you doing to my art?" a venomous voice questioned.

Kurumu turned to face the furious face of the woman she'd been seeking out, "Ishigami-sensei? I'm sorry I barged in looking..."

"Hm..." suddenly her entire countenance changed to a much more pleasant one. "You are Kurumu from class five?"

_'Is she bipolar? Before she looked like she wanted to kill me!' _thought a puzzled Kurumu as she nodded.

"So you came to pick up Naruto-san? I'm sorry but he's too busy modeling to spend time with you." stated Ishigami.

"Why can't he.." Kurumu began to question why Naruto couldn't leave only to be cut off by Ishigami.

"Why you ask.." started Ishigami only to be cut off by the arrival of Naruto.

"I'm back sensei. Oh hey Kurumu! Why are you here?" asked Naruto.

Naruto marched in only wearing a wife beater t-shirt, which threw the blue haired girl for a loop as she drooled at the sight. "Well you see..."

"Oh I get it. I know haven't been around so much, but I'm almost done working on Ishigami-sensei's special project." stated Naruto.

"Oh!" Kurumu suddenly snapped out it remembering why she was there.

"Don't worry, I'll be around more soon!" promised Naruto.

"Wai-" began Kurumu only to be cut off again by Ishigami.

"Okay! Bye-bye!" exclaimed Ishigami as she shoved the girl out the room and closed the door.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Odd...There appears to be a bad aura around Naruto-kun. Maybe the cow was right..." mumbled Yukari as she stared into the cloudy crystal ball on her desk.

"Right about what? What are you doing?" asked Moka.

"Divination! My fortune telling prowess is unparalleled! Perhaps I could take this even further, if that no talent hack Aunt Cleo can get a such recognition I should be world renown hit in no time! In mere months I could have world dependent upon my fortune telling...Naruto are you pondering what I'm pondering..." she rambled.

"Naruto-kun isn't here." deadpanned Moka.

"Curse that Art-shrew! No one takes my henchman!" yelled Yukari.

"So now you're worried." deadpanned Kurumu as she walked back into the newspaper club.

"Hey! Another girl has gone missing! She hasn't been seen since yesterday.. hey!" yelled Gin as he rushed in, but Kurumu snatched the photo from him.

_'This girl! She's the one I saw in the Art classroom locker...'_ Kurumu flung the photo back to Gin. "I just saw that girl, only she was a statue hidden in the art classroom."

_'Oh hell no bitch!'_ was the collective thought of Kurumu, Moka, and Yukari as they stormed off to the art classroom.

"I should have told them that by the time they get there it will probably be over, but I'd like to retain my manhood..." commented Gin as he idly flipped through the last issue of the newspaper.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

After Kurumu left the room, Ishigami started acting strange. Naruto decided to call her on it, to see if she would reveal her operation.

"What's going on here..." began Naruto only to be cut of by Ishigami.

"You little girlfriend saw a bit to much, so I'm going to have to cut our time short. So why don't you do your little transformation, and I'll make sure the turning is as painless as possible." ordered the art teacher.

Naruto let out a sigh, "I was hoping you'd reveal the location of the students you've been kidnapping before it came to this..."

"Too bad! It will be an honor for you to join the ranks of my eternal art collection. I shall immortalize your greatest beauty forever. Maybe you need a little incentive..." one of her snake-head braids clamped around his wrists but Naruto instantly vanished in a puff of smoke. Suddenly three desks in the back of the room went up in a poof of smoke to reveal Naruto and a pair of clones.

"I've had it with you! You go on and on about immortalizing images and eternal beauty, I say fuck that! I've only ever respected one artist and you know what he told me?" he pulled an explosive tag out of his pocket and slammed it on the desk in front of him before kicking it to the back of the room.

"ART IS A BANG!" he yelled as the tag went off destroying glass case containing several pieces of art as well as putting a hole in the wall.

"UN!" grunted one clone.

"Yeah Boss! Show her the power of your pop-art!" exclaimed the other.

"Pop-art is dead! My art is super-flat!" bellowed Naruto.

"My art..." mumbled a trembling Ishigami as she looked up suddenly and roared in a fit of rage, "MY ART!"

"Maybe that wasn't such a good idea!" nervously commented a clone. The braided hairs of Ishigami transformed into a wriggling mass of snakes, as she revealed herself to be a Medusa. She leveled the blond with a glare before the snakes attacked.

"I fucking hate snakes!" yelled Naruto as he back flipped to dodge being bitten._ 'This place is small and makes it hard to maneuver, she's got the advantage!'_

"You will pay for wrecking MY ART!" screeched Ishigami as the snakes became even more vicious. One coiled around a desk and slammed it into the real Naruto sending him flying into a wall which suddenly caved in revealing a secret room.

"What the hell is this?" as Naruto looked at the statues around the room, he noticed they all had tears pouring form their eyes. "This is what you've done...I can't decid if it's better or worse from what I initially suspected."

"Yes! Can't you see it now! All of my precious art! It's the Medusa power of transformation into stone. Any living being bitten by one of my snake hairs will turn into stone! Soon you shall be joining my collection!" screamed Ishigami as she sent her snakes at Naruto again.

_'Fuck that shit!' _thought Naruto as he substituted himself with a chair that brought him back into the main classroom. As Ishigami and her snakes rounded in on him, his remaining clone sent a kunai skidding across the floor to his feet._  
_

"I told you, there is only one true thing about art..." Naruto kicked the the kunai up in the air with one leg and then drop kicked with the other. The knife flew and stabbed into the ceiling right above her head. The snake woman heard a fizzing sound and looked up in horror. "ART IS BANG!" The explosive tag on the edge of the kunai went off, bringing the ceiling down on top of the woman.

"UN!" grunted the last clone as he pumped his fist before dispelling. The original turned towards the door to see Kurumu, Yukari, and Moka standing there with stunned looks on their faces.

"I guess I got a little carried away..." he mumbled while scratching his hair with a sheepish grin.

X-X-X-X-X-X

Naruto slammed open the door of the headmaster's office to find said man in some sort of meeting with the creepy bus drive and two guys he didn't recognize. The first had pale blond hair and sported a black and white striped bucket hat with an odd umbrella in his hand and some wooden sandals. The other was a tall, muscular, lightly tan-skinned man. His hair was corn-rolled and he sported a large handlebar mustache with a pair of rectangular-shaped glasses.

"Ah, Naruto! Is there something I can do for you?" greeted the Headmaster.

"Just one question." answered Naruto.

"Hmm?" was the headmaster's reply.

"Do you bother doing background checks on faculty?" Naruto snapped his fingers and a clone dragged the unconscious Ishigami into the room. "After I knocked this crazy bitch out, the students she turned to stone went back to normal.

"Ah, I see...Well done Naruto! Looks like you've ferreted out another who wished to do harm to the students of our fine academy!" exclaimed the headmaster.

Naruto stomped his foot in irritation, "First: I'm not a ferret! Second: What's with the creepy old dude convention? Third: What ever your are scheming, I want no part of it."

"Oh he's good. Little brother made an excellent find indeed." giggled the man in the bucket hat.

"Little brother?" questioned a confused Naruto.

"Naruto meek Kisuke Urahara, head of Spirit World Research and Development, owner of Urahara Shoten and also the elder brother of Koenma." informed the Headmaster.

The other unknown man coughed.

"And that is Tessai, he makes sure Urahara doesn't blow himself up." continued the headmaster.

"Hey!" yelled an indignant Urahara.

Naruto stared at them with a deadpan expression, "Cool hat."

"No way!" grumbled the bus driver as he slipped Urahara a twenty.

"Now, this weekend Urahara wanted to borrow you for a little side job." stated the Headmaster.

"No." stated Naruto flat out.

"But if you could.."

"Niet."

"I'm sure we-"

"Nine."

"Come on-"

"What Orochimaru says to a naked hot chick."

"I'll give you a really cool new ability." stated Urahara.

"Deal." agreed Naruto.

"You've got to be kidding me!" exclaimed the bus driver as he slipped Urahara another twenty.

"I'll do the job on two more conditions. One I get a hat just like that except in black and orange," demanded Naruto as he pointed at Kisuke's hat.

"Done!" agreed Kisuke with a grin as the bus driver cursed and slipped him another twenty.

"And the second..." inquired the headmaster.

"You will tell me what the hell happened to Dave Chapelle! I was recently introduced into the wonderful world of Chapelle Show via DVD and it is by far the funniest thing in the history of everything!" bellowed Naruto. "Then I saw the lost episodes..." Naruto and everyone else in the room visibly shivered. "Spirit World ain't doing their jobs if they allow such a travesty to occur..."

A look of panic briefly passed between Kisuke and the Headmaster that didn't go unnoticed by Naruto.

"So you do know..." suddenly the blond loomed over them with a demonic edge to his voice. "Now are you going to tell me? Or is Naruto Uzumaki gonna have to choke a bitch?"

* * *

A/N: Ahh! Urahara! Don't anticipate any more Bleach in this story besides Urahara. No Zanpaktou or anything like that will show up. Naruto's needs a mentor/trainer of some sorts, since Yusuke gets Genkai. Picking a Hokage from Spirit World was too boring, so bam! It's Urahara! That guy is awesome! Naruto being some unknown ninja/demon hybrid, Urahara fits as a guy to help him develop his powers. I'm going to skip over some of the boring crap in the manga where the group took on random weakling monsters. After getting acquainted with Urahara and company, Kuyou and his thugs will come calling followed by the Saint Beasts. So expect plenty of good action for the next 4-5 chapters. Now please review, or is Naruto going to have to choke some more bitches...


	9. The Not So Great Goblin War

A/N: For those of you unfamiliar with the villain the Hobgoblin from Spiderman:TAS, Youtube 'The Hobgoblin part 1' and watch the episode from Spiderman the Animated series before reading this chapter. I also recommend watching the series in its entirety, it kicks ass and is another example of how much American cartoons today suck. For those of you familiar with the Hobgoblin, the one in this story is loosely based on him from that series with some modifications.

**Disclaimer:** Per usual the great DMF pulls from a lot of shit, but he doesn't own anything

* * *

**The Not So Great Goblin War  
**

Naruto stared blankly in front of him at the bland little shop. After all the secrecy behind their travel to the mysterious headquarters of Urahara, Naruto expected much more that stepping through some strange portal and popping into an alley that led to this small store. He the turned to the proudly smiling Tessai and smirking Kisuke. He turned back to the shop, then back to the duo with a completely befuddled expression on his face. He repeated this for several seconds before throwing up his hands in exasperation.

"I thought you were supposed to be the head of some big science division in Spirit World, why the hell are we at some lame store?" blurted Naruto.

Urahara opened up his fan and waved it in front of his face while giggling, "Science? I no idea what you're talking about. I'm merely an honest, handsome, perverted businessman."

Naruto nearly ripped his hair out in frustration, "Not another one...well he couldn't possibly be as bad as Ero-Sennin."

His musing were interrupted by Tessai as the large man grabbed the blond by the shoulders, facing Naruto with tears running out the corners of his eyes, "Is the shop really that lame?"

Naruto waved his hands in a placating manner, "Uh no. I was just surprised, it is a nice shop. Very inviting!"

Tessai's demeanor did a complete 180, "Oh! Thank you!"

_'These guys are nuts!'_ thought Naruto as he shook his head.

"I prefer the term eccentric." stated Urahara with another giggle.

Naruto glared at him, _'Definitely nuts.'_

As Tessai opened the door to the shop, Naruto was forced to duck as a box and a soccer ball shot through the space his head previously occupied.

"GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLL!" roared a short boy with red hair that jumped in front of them holding a broom as he pumped his fist in the air while his eyes were closed.

"Jinta, you should have stopped playing around. They're back." said Ururu as she went to retrieve the box. Jinta opened his eyes forming a dumbfounded expression that quickly switched to irritation as he chased after Ururu with his broom.

"You should have said something earlier!" he yelled while trying to shove the broom into her hair.

Naruto, Kisuke and Tessai merely stepped inside the shop and went about their business as if nothing happened. Naruto's communicator suddenly beeped, and the blond pulled it out his jacket pocket to see what Botan wanted, but he found himself facing an irritated Koenma instead.

"Yo!" greeted Naruto not knowing what else to say.

"Don't you yo me! What the hell are you doing leaving your post at the academy!" yelled an irate Koenma.

"Whoa! I didn't ditch! I'm helping out your brother with something." replied Naruto. This response only seemed to infuriate the toddler even more as his face turned red and steam poured off him in rage.

"KISUKE!" roared Koenma.

Naruto turned and handed the communicator to Urahara who was trying to sneak away. "Here, it's for you." deadpanned Naruto.

"Hey little bro! How goes things?" greeted Kisuke as he rubbed the brim of his hat.

"Don't hey me! You better return my detective in one piece or there will be hell to pay!" threatened Koenma.

"I thought you were informed of this already? I sent a messenger." replied Kisuke as he scratched his head.

"Sorry about that, I just got here." replied a deep masculine voice. The unperturbed face of a black cat cut in front of Koenma, "I got a little sidetracked on my way here."

"You did this on purpose, didn't you Yoruichi?" deadpanned Kisuke.

"Yes." replied the cat with a flat look as it licked its paw.

Koenma cut back in front of the cat shaking his fist at Kisuke, "None of your weird experiments or else..."

Kisuke snorted, not intimidated by his brothers threat one bit, "Or else what?"

Koenma sported a devious grin, "Dad is still interesting in knowing what happened to his favorite..."

Kisuke cut him off. "Alright! Alright! I'll be good. No funky experiments!..._That I haven't already planned_," thinking the last part to himself.

The door to Koenma's office then slammed open, startling the toddler momentarily.

"Lord Koenma sir! I've got the report on what was stolen during the break in, and how the breach occurred." shouted a blue ogre as he rushed into Koenma's office with a stack of papers.

Koenma sighed as he flipped through them before suddenly adopting a very sly smile, "Well, well, well...it seems someone forgot to secure his lab properly when he dropped by to gather materials a few weeks ago."

"That wasn't me, I sent Jinta, Ururu and Yoruichi. Dad hadn't left for vacation yet." replied Kisuke.

"Semantics...One of your old inventions, the time dilation accelerator, was stolen." continued Koenma.

"The device creates portals to transverse the human world, and small portals that allow low class demons to crossover from Demon world. It's obsolete, what's the big deal?" questioned Kisuke.

"It was stolen by an escaped convict, Macendale aka the Hobgoblin." answered Koenma with a smug look.

Kisuke just stared ahead blankly for several moments before responding, "Well...Shit."

"Since Yusuke is off training with GenKai, and you're borrowing my other Spirit Detective, you're in charge of cleaning this mess up. Call it payment for doing whatever it is you were going to do. Bye Bye!" Koenma waved before the screen went blank.

"To quote a wise man: That baby is too damn troublesome. What's so bad about this Macendale guy?" asked Naruto.

Kisuke let out a sigh before shaking his head, "It's best we head downstairs for the explanation. Let's just say it's complicated. Tessai, it looks like we'll be closing up early today."

"Should I request for a few extra hands on deck?" asked the tall man.

Kisuke shrugged as he flipped him Naruto's communicator, "Go ahead."

"Wait a minute you never answered my question before. Why are you stationed here? Wouldn't it be more convenient to be located in Spirit World?" asked Naruto.

Urahara was bout to launch into a complicated explanation, but Tessai beat him to the punch, "After accidentally blowing up King Yemma's office for the umpteenth time, his father banned him from performing experiments and research for 200 years. This is currently year 37."

Naruto winced at the idea of a 200 year ban, "Ouch."

Kisuke shrugged, "Eh, little brother still gets spanked. It's him you should feel sorry for."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

After the ogre's departure, Koenma was interrupted again as Botan rushed into his office nearly out of breath, "Sir, I couldn't get a hold of the headmaster, he's away for the moment. As for Naruto, he only let a note saying he'd be out for a few days. It looks like we'll have to pull Yusuke from his training early."

Koenma waved off her concern, "Don't worry about it. I've already located him. It seems my brother decided to borrow him for an assignment. I gave the goblin problem to him since Naruto is currently under his employ."

"Oh." Botan scratched the back of her head with a sheepish expression. "Now I feel bad for giving those two girls the third degree about Naruto's whereabouts."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

A shiver suddenly ran down Naruto's spine, _'For some reason, I feel like I should take a couple weeks off before heading back to school.'_

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Back at the academy both Kurumu and Moka stood outside of Naruto's room fuming, the note he'd left on his door torn to pieces.

"Who the hell does that hussy think she is?" screeched Kurumu.

"Who cares? What's her relationship with Naruto-kun?" growled Moka.

_'You've got some explaining to do Na-ru-to!'_ thought both girls as they gave of an aura that promised pure pain to anyone who came near.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"You sure you weren't so harsh on them because his two closest friends happened to be really cute girls?" deadpanned Yoruichi.

Botan turned away with huff to hide the blush forming on her face, "I have no idea what you're talking about. The very thing you're insinuating would be completely unprofessional."

"Well, then you won't mind if perhaps, I take over as his spirit detective assistant? Baby-sitting Kisuke get's boring, you seem to have your hands full with your other charge." replied the cat casually.

Botan leveled it with a glare before smirking, "That won't be necessary. I'm perfectly capable of fulfilling my duties. Besides this job is beneath someone with your vast amounts of experience."

"Are you calling me old?" retorted the cat with a harsh tone.

"Well if the shoe fits..." stated Botan nonchalantly.

"That's it-" Koenma grabbed Yoruichi before the cat could leap after Botan with its claws extended.

"Quiet!" reprimanded the toddler, before he turned back to the video screen. "Now go ahead Tessai."

"Yes sir. We wondering if you had anyone available to send as back up, since this will probably get a little messy."

"Oh, I don't know..." whined Koenma as he tugged on his hat. "Yusuke is still in the middle of his training. I don't think we have anybody else."

"Sir, you can always call in Kurama. Hiei is available as well." suggested Botan.

"Fine, you two track them down and escort them to my brother's shop. This is his show to run." replied Koenma.

"Thank you sir!" responded Tessai before he vanished from the screen.

X-X-X-X-X-X

"Now let's head down to my lab..." murmured Kisuke.

"Wait a minute, I thought you were banned from research?" questioned Naruto with a raised eyebrow.

"Technically, but lets just say I'm banned from using my more advanced facilities up in spirit world. For the old man it's more like out of site, out of mind." replied Kisuke as they stepped up to a plain looking door. Kisuke flipped up a plaque to the side of the door, revealing a red panel that scanned his eye. The panel turned green and the door slid back to reveal an elevator. The duo stepped inside and Kisuke pressed a button on the elevator panel, sending the carriage towards his basement lab. Naruto gave his fellow blond a flat look as cheesy elevator music played while Kisuke tapped his cane to the beat. The scientist started bobbing his head to the beat of the music, oblivious to everything around him. The elevator came to a halt a few moments later and with a 'ding', the door opened. Kisuke exited and walked over towards his main workstation, while Naruto marveled at the size of the place.

_'How in the hell did they get all this down here and how did they get this room to be so big?'_ thought the ex-ninja as he surveyed the facility. It was lined wall to wall with various monitors and devices all circling around a central computer

"The wonders of spirit world technology." commented Kisuke as if reading his mind. "There's another room that's even bigger than this one."

Kisuke took a seat and punched a few keys on the console at the central work station booting up the system. A few seconds later female holographic figure appeared hovering next to him. The mechanical parts of her android-like body was colored in with white light.

(A/N: Kisuke's set up is basically the same as Tom's work station on Toonami circa 2003-2007. RIP Toonami)

"Good Afternoon Kisuke." greeted the female hologram.

"I love this lab. Hello, Sara." replied Kisuke with a grin.

Naruto was almost drooling at the site of her, "Cool!"

"Please bring up the files on Norman Osbourne." ordered Kisuke.

Sarah reached up the screen moving a few things around on it, before pulling up the file and reading from it.

"Norman Osbourne: Deceased. Formerly a scientist under Spirit World Research and Development Division. Personnel file notes he was a very talented scientist, but also very ambitious. Most notable project is an attempted development of a serum to provide enhanced abilities to the human race. Back when Spirit World was still searching for a solution to controlling the mixing of the populations of demons and humans in the human world, Norman developed the first version of his serum. The serum was supposed to introduce advanced physical capabilities into the human race, so they would naturally have the abilities to protect themselves from demon predators, essentially evening the battle field. The advances included increased agility, strength, speed, stamina, and dexterity, as well as a "healing factor". Some subjects showed increases in intellect as well. The first batch of the serum was rejected due to the side affects it caused in animal test subjects. Side affects included a 50% mortality rate, a severely shortened normal life span, and psychosis. With the eventual separation of the two worlds, both King Yemma and Kisuke ordered the abandonment of the project. Osbourne decided to continue working on it in secret trying to perfect the formula. A few years ago he tried to reintroduce the serum as part of a super soldier plan he developed to increase the capabilities of the Spirit World defense Force. Along with a new formula, Osbourne presented a set of weapons to further enhance the capabilities of new soldiers. The proposal was rejected by Kisuke, due to continued flaws with the serum and impracticality of the weapons. While the mortality rate decreased to less that 0.01%, along with there no longer being a reduction in life span, side affects of Psychosis still remained. In a last ditch attempt to provide evidence for his research, Osbourne attempted to test his serum on a low level demon in spirit world custody for violating several laws."

Sara paused as she moved a few things around, bringing up a new file next to the current one before continuing.

"This is the subject's profile prior to the administration of the serum. Subject: Jason Macendale, borderline E/D-Rank Demon. Known accomplice of the Toguro brothers, suspected in several cases of grand theft. Only notable skills involve stealth, explaining occupation as a thief."

Kisuke continued from here, "Macendale while a good thief, physical strength wise was as close to a regular human as Norman could get. Norman injected the serum, but was failed by a clerical error."

Naruto was lost, "Huh?"

"His dosage was off by a factor of ten. I checked his math afterward, he did everything but put the decimal in the right place. Ten times the expected amount temporarily transformed Macendale into a mid B-Ranked Berserker. He killed Norman and trashed the lab in a fit of rage before his rational mind seemingly returned. He then raided the armory of weapons and supplies Norman prepared before fleeing. In an attempt to separate himself from his previous identity, Macendale donned a Halloween mask along with some armor he stole, calling himself the Hobgoblin. "

"So what's his deal?" asked Naruto.

"While his strength evened out to a borderline C/B Rank level, Macendale received a great boost in intelligence from his transformation. Before being apprehended, he was able successfully recreate Osbourne's serum and stash it in a secret location. His master plan was eventually to travel to demon world using lower doses of the serum to create a goblin army, and using it to take over the Human underworld as a crime lord." explained Sara.

"So that's why he went after that time thing. You said it allowed for low level demons to cross over. He's using it to build his army." surmised Naruto.

"Once he makes himself known, we will have to divide our forces between neutralizing the army, and taking down Macendale." stated Urahara.

"Sweet. This should at least keep me out of school for a week! Well, since we're going to be taking down an entire army, what's the new ability you were talking about?" asked Naruto while rubbing his hands together as his face formed an ear splitting grin.

Naruto immediately regretted his question at the insane look that formed on Kisuke's face, "Oh, yes! Now the real fun begins! Sara prepare to containment unit..."

X-X-X-X-X-X

"Oww!" Naruto quickly pulled his hand back from the faucet as he retrieving a small static shock.

"Fucking geta-boshi..." growled Naruto as he leaned back over the bathroom sink, splashing his face with water. He'd just lost 24 hours of his life he would never get back. After seeing the insane grin on Kisuke's face, he immediately turned to flee only to be knocked out cold by Tessai. Supposedly they needed him unconscious to enable whatever ability they were trying to give him, but Naruto just thought it was an excuse for the creepy bastard to run all sorts of tests and experiments on him. He didn't feel any different, so he didn't believe that they actually did anything. Naruto proceeded to get dressed into some combat appropriate attire. To his horror Tessai offered him some a dark green spandex suit, that he was thankfully able to avoid wearing since he had a hidden seal in his suit containing his new version combat gear. It consisted of a thin black vest lined with flexible armor over top a dark blue long sleeve shirt, some black cargo pants, and a dark blue elastic headband with some visor style protective sunglasses. The outfit was laced with hidden seals thanks to his father, that provided easy access to a variety of tools and weapons. After getting dressed and sealing his school clothes away he exited the bathroom only to get shocked again as he grabbed the doorknob to close the door.

"What the fuck. That's like the fourth time. Shitty carpet...can we get some hardwood floors around here people?" grumbled Naruto as he strolled down the hallway to come face to face with two surprising figures.

"I know you got released Kurama, but Hiei?" questioned Naruto.

"Koenma likes to think of it as a work release program." replied Kurama with a smile as he shook Naruto's hand.

"Basically, you two got conned into joining my and Yusuke's little club. Welcome to the shittiest job in the world. The pay is crap, but we do get dental." deadpanned Naruto.

Hiei snorted, "More like we have to cover for your shortcomings."

"I'd watch that mouth of yours midget." retorted Naruto.

"As lovely as this little reunion is, we've got work to do." chimed Botan from behind him, preventing a fight between the two.

"Hey Botan-" Naruto went to greet her, but the blue haired grim reaper let out a 'hmph' before she rudely turned and stomped away from him.

"What the hell has got her panties up in a bunch?' grumbled Naruto. He then felt something land on his shoulder, and turned to face a black cat, that surprisingly spoke to him.

"She's been in a mood ever since she went to track you down at the school of yours." the cat stated.

Naruto merely stared blankly at it, completely ignoring what it said in favor of asking a question, "You wouldn't happen to know a Kakashi Hatake would you?"

The cat snorted before leaping off his shoulder and following after Botan, "Baka..."

The trio followed after them into the front room of the shop, where the waited for the rest of their ragtag crew.

"So we got what? A couple of ex-cons, a couple midgets, a creepy old perv and his butler, a fake cat, and a guy playing hooky? This is my kind of team!" declared Naruto.

Botan coughed, "Aren't you forgetting someone?"

Naruto waved her off, "No. It's not like your going to do any fighting, your just going to sit back point out things while looking pretty."

He was rewarding by a swat to the back of the head courtesy of her oar, "Jerk!"

"It was supposed to be a compliment." he grumbled.

"What did you mean by fake cat?" asked Yoruichi.

He gave her a flat look and formed a hand sign, "Really? Do you really want to play this game?"

Th cat narrowed its eyes at him, "I dare you."

"Fine. KAI!" the cat vanished in a puff of smoke as Naruto released the transformation. When it cleared it revealed the fully nude form of the dark skinned goddess blowing a kiss towards Naruto. She was rewarded with the three males in the room shooting back into the wall and passing out with massive nosebleeds.

"Do you have no shame?" groaned Botan.

"Clothes are way to constricting." complained Yoruicihi as she stretched her body out.

The blue haired girl shook her head, "Ururu, could you bring a spare change of clothes in here! Oh and a mop!"

After reviving the trio and cleaning up the mess, all hands on deck regrouped down in Urahara's lab. Kisuke starting going through a list of the weapons and accessories possibly in the possession of Macendale and his growing organization. He then ran through a list of the top possible suggested hideouts, informing them of his plan to split into teams each making a move on the suspected locations. However, all this planning went out the window when Sara brought a live news feed to their attention. Hundreds of figures in hooded orange cloaks wearing goblin masks were scattered around the city causing chaos. Some where rioting in the streets just destroying everything in their way, while others were looting various businesses and banks.

"Well this throws my plan out the window, looks like were going to have to bust out the neuralizers on this one." complained Urahara with a sigh.

"Neuralizers?" asked Naruto.

"It's a flashy thingy that makes you forget stuff. I ripped it off from that Men in Black movie, much easier than the old method." explained Kisuke.

The group quickly gathered the needed weapons and tools before moving out.

X-X-X-X-X-X

After departing from Urahara Shoten the group split up into two factions. Naruto, Hiei, and Kurama set out trying to track down Macendale with Kisuke's list of locations, wiping out any of his forces they came across in the process, while Kisuke and company moved about the city wiping out the Hobgoblin's forces. So far the trio had scouted the locations plus several of the shadier districts of the city with nothing to show for their efforts besides disposing of some grunts. At Hiei's suggestion they decided to scout from the rooftops of the docks he previously used as a base of operations. Through pure luck they came across an abandoned warehouse where they spied about two dozen goblin thugs lurking around. After monitoring them for a few minutes, it became obvious who the leader of the crew was as he entered the warehouse leaving the others outside. Naruto, Hiei, and Kurama took this as their cue, dropping down to make quick work of the thugs. Using his Jagan eyes, Naruto captured all the grunts in an illusion, while Hiei and Kurama cut them down before the realized what was going on. As the leader exited the warehouse, Hiei grabbed the demon before the trio vanished, reappearing on the rooftop of the warehouse with Hiei holding him over the side of the building by his throat.

"Tell us where your boss is before my arm gets tired." threatened Hiei. The demon made no response, only squirming in his grip trying to free himself.

"You are far too green to interrogation Hiei. This requires a more delicate approach." Kurama grabbed their prisoner and used his rose whip to restrain prisoner in a painful manner on the floor of the roof, only to be held back by Naruto.

"Actually I think green is the exact approach we need here." stated Naruto as he formed two clones who in turn, performed the transformation technique. "Behold, the power of youth..."

X-X-X-X-X-X

Up in Spirit World Jiraiya felt a shiver go down his spine, _'Have mercy on the poor soul that brat is interrogating. Even Ibiki wasn't that cruel...'_

X-X-X-X-X-X

"... and He's usually lurking around his command center at the abandoned commercial district between the docks and the train station. We're organized into ten squadrons, each operating out of a different location. There's supposed to be a big meet, between all the crews in a few days at HQ. That's all I know, I swear!" the thug was panting heavily as he stared up at them in fear.

Naruto, Kurama, and Hiei all gave each other a look before Naruto nodded to his clones, "LEE-"

"And I wet the bed till I was twelve! That's it I swear!" cried out the Demon.

"Alright put them away." ordered Kurama as a snickering Naruto dispelled the two youthful clones.

"Your services are no longer required." stated Hiei as with a flame covered fist, he reduced the demon to ash.

"Now what?" asked Naruto. Before anyone could respond to the question, the trio suddenly vanished from the rooftop as seconds later a flaming projectile nailed the roof and exploded.

"Well, well, well...look what we have here? Three little rats intruding on my operation." Circling overhead was a costumed freak on some kind of powered purple glider. His bizarre costume consisted of a purple spandex suit underneath a light green armored vest accompanied by some orange gloves, boots, and a hooded cloak. The creepiest thing was his mask that almost appeared to be his real face with its glowing red eyes.

"Looks like we've found the boss." stated Hiei.

"What's up with the Halloween get up?" questioned Naruto.

The goblin overheard him. "For centuries, the hobgoblin has been a symbol for irrational fear and terror! This face will be the last thing all my enemies see before they die!" he exclaimed while cackling with glee. Trying to take advantage of the distraction, Naruto launched a few kunai ad shuriken at the Hobgoblin, only for him to dodge the projectiles easily. Kurama followed up by trying to strike him down with his rose whip, only for the slicing attacks of the plant whip to be easily avoided. Using his speed, Hiei got a running start as he leaped into the air try to reach the glider using Kurama's attack as distraction, but the glider separated into two parts. Hiei missed completely as the hobgoblin flew up on the upper piece, while the lower part of the glider swooped around a fired several spinning buzz-saws at Hiei. The short dark haired demon was forced to deflect with his sword in mid air. The hobgoblin made a beeline for Naruto, tapping his glider to fire a couple of pumpkin missiles at Naruto, who managed to dodge one, but was hit by the other.

"One down!" roared the laughing hobgoblin, but his celebrating was cut short as he saw the smoking remains of Naruto vanish in a puff of smoke. He immediately veered to his left dodged a pair of Naruto clones flying through the air at him with dual Rasengans.

"Well aren't you a tricky one..." the Hobgoblin commented as he flew around to observe a group of Narutos who where continuously launching clones at him. He launched a few bombs at their spot, putting an end to the operation as the original was forced to flee the location.

"We've got to get him off that glider somehow. As long as he's on it, we're at a disadvantage." said Kurama as Hiei launched a series of mortal flamethrower attacks at the Hobgoblin. As he went into some fancy flying maneuvers to avoid Hiei's blasts of fire, Kurama moved to find an opening while he was distracted. The redhead drew the rose whip and whipped it around him in a circle, causing rose petals to scatter about. The spinning whip formed a wheel which unleashed three crescent shaped slicing energy blasts. With his attention on Hiei's attacks the Hobgoblin didn't react until the three attacks were almost on top of him. He turned to fly straight up in the air, and missed two of the attacks, but the third sliced through his triceps and gashed his side.

"Dammit!" growled the Hobgoblin as he paused in midair. The distraction caused by his pain would prove to be costly. Naruto had moved to a roof with a water tower and after drilling a hole in it with the rasengan, he waited for the goblin to give him an opening. When he paused in midair, Naruto unleashed a **Water Style: Water Fang Bullet** that nailed the tough aerial foe in the chest and sent him flying off his glider. Kurama and Hiei rushed toward his landing spot to capitalize only for the second glider swoop around and catch their fallen foe and speed away from the area.

"You haven't seen the last of me!" growled the beaten up hobgoblin as he chucked a giant pumpkin bomb towards them that exploded in midair releasing tons of green smoke to cover his escape.

Hiei snorted, "True, but we know you're pretty much nothing without your toys."

Naruto wasn't so jubilant, "Yeah, but look at how hard it was for us just to knock him off that damn thing one time, and it was 3 on 1."

Kurama agreed, "The next time we face him, it will be much more difficult."

X-X-X-X-X-X

With a mighty swing of his Kanabo, Jinta sent another two goblins flying, "HOME RUN!"

Next to him, Ururu and Yoruichi blurred through the massive pack of unorganized goblins, picking taking them down with ease. From hire ground Kisuke with blasts from his cane, and Tessai using Kido spells, were picking of the leaders of the goblin army one by one.

"It looks like this is the last of them. The rest of them seem to be retreating." called out Botan as she flew in overhead.

"About time. We've been running circles around them for hours." complained Yoruichi. In a matter of seconds the group wiped out the last of the nearly 1500 goblins that had been causing ruckus in the downtown district. As soon as everything was clear, people started coming of their hiding spots with bewildered looks on their faces.

"Can I gather everyone's attention over here please? Over here!" shouted Urahara as all the people who came out of hiding and gathered around him. "Now we're just going to do a quick thermal scan of the area and get a head count to make sure everyone is alright. If you could all just focus on this device in my hand here and we will get started."

As Kisuke held the neuralizer out in front of him, he and the rest of the team all seemingly pulled sunglasses out of nowhere and put them on.

"Now just wait for the flash, and one...two...three! Thank you for participating in today's public safety drill, were this an actual emergency you would probably all be dead right now. Read up on your emergency evacuation plans people! That is all." Kisuke tucked the neuralizer back into his pocket as they prepared to vacate the area.

"Must you always use the public safety gag?" deadpanned Yoruichi.

"Hey most people are stupid enough already, if we're going to fill their minds with something, let's at least make it easier for the smart people to survive their stupidity." retorted Kisuke.

X-X-X-X-X-X

"Your performance certainly did leave a lot to be desired." commented Kisuke as he watched footage on their fight with the Hobgoblin back within the friendly confines of his lab.

Naruto shrugged in response, "True, but it was our first time working together, and that damn glider is a pain in the ass. Without it he's toast."

"That, or if you had something that enhanced your long range and aerial combat abilities." said Kisuke.

"What? You got a pair of hover boots and a boomerang laying around here or something?" retorted an indignant Naruto.

"Or something." replied a giggling Urahara as he waved his fan in front of his face.

"Well let's see it geta-boshi." demanded Naruto.

"Your going to have to go back in the containment chamber again. I'm going to need to borrow your gloves for a few hours." explained Urahara.

"You're just looking for an excuse-" Naruto was cut off as a chop to the neck from Tessai knocked him out could.

Kisuke rubbed his chin as he chuckled while looking at the blond with even more interest, "Its like your presence is completely blocked from his senses, you were there for a good 15 minutes this time and he didn't sense you. We'll have to test that out too..."

X-X-X-X-X-X

A few days later Hiei and Kurama found themselves hidden amongst the shadows near the rooftops of the abandoned commercial district. The duo had not seen Naruto since they extracted the information about the meet a few days ago, mostly working in tandem with the other residents of Urahara Shoten to counteract the various strikes by the hobgoblin's forces throughout the city.

"Is this a private party or can anyone join?" joked Naruto as he appeared next to them.

Hiei raised an eyebrow, "Just where the hell have you been hiding out?"

Naruto smirked, "I've been training."

The short demon snorted at his response, "Just what could you possibly accomplish with only three days of training?"

"You'd be surprised." vaguely responded Naruto.

Kurama then spotted a trio of goblins move down an alley headed towards the entrance of their target building, "Let's move."

The trio vanished from their positions and incapacitated each of the goblins with ease. Hiei and Kurama quickly fitted themselves with Goblin cloaks and masks while Naruto simply used Henge before summoning a few shadow clones to get rid of the goons they just knocked out. With their disguises complete, they all went inside.

X-X-X-X-X-X

The Hobgoblin sat behind a huge desk equipped with various monitors and viewing globes as he preached out to all the soldiers at his command.

"Thanks to those Spirit World fools I have everything I need to build my own empire. A unlimited army of soldiers at my command, the Black-Black club won't know what hit them. All this at my command, all thanks to that fool Osbourne! HAHAHAHA! For years there have rumors that all the criminal activity all over the globe was controlled from one location. No longer will they be mere rumors! I will seize control of the criminal underworld and become the Kingpin! HAHAHAHA!"

"Didn't he just rip that speech straight from a comic book?" commented one of the goblins up front.

"Had to, no self respecting villain is that corny." replied the one next to him as the three infiltrators all abandoned their disguises.

"You fools! How did you find me!" demanded the Hobgoblin.

"Through the flames of youth!" mocked a chuckling Naruto.

"No matter, it was a big mistake to challenge me on my home turf. I'll make sure it's your last!" The Hobgoblin pressed a button and immediately his desk sunk into the ground via a trap door, as the walls in the room slid back to reveal a two even bigger hordes of armed goblin soldiers while tiles panels on the roof flipped back to reveal canons launching pumpkin bombs.

"I'll cover for you guys, take down those cannons!" yelled Naruto as he formed and army of shadow clones to combat the goblins. Hiei and Kurama jumped into action swiftly dodging a volley of pumpkin bombs as the quickly worked to cut down the four canons with their sword and rose whip respectively. While the Narutos were easily cutting down the goblin soldiers, every time they seem to wipe one wave out another appeared. Naruto decided to take a different approach, sending half of his clones scrambling around the area, littering the walls with explosive tags.

"Follow me!" he shouted to Hiei and Kurama. The duo followed him out of a broken window, leaping onto a lower rooftop as Naruto formed a hand-sign in midair.

"Katsu!" he whispered as the building behind them exploded.

"While that was sufficient to eliminate those thugs, I believe the leader will be much more difficult." stated Kurama as the trio watched the burning building.

"How right you are." the group turned around to face the Hobgoblin hovering above them. "I've got some new toys just for you!" He tapped a button on the glider with his foot, unleashing a volley of pumpkin missiles at them.

"Looks like the same shit to me." blurted an unimpressed Naruto as the three fighters vanished from their positions. However, instead of exploding like they expected, the six missiles veered of before flying after the three fighters at their new positions.

"How do you like my smart bombs!" gloated the Hobgoblin as he fired some spinning buzz-saws to make things even more difficult. Hiei and Kurama moved into opposite directions, hopping from rooftop to rooftop trying to shake free from the missiles to no avail. Both suddenly gave each other a look, before turning and heading straight at each other. Right before the duo came face to face, they dropped down flat against the rooftops forcing the bombs to collide with one another and detonate. Naruto had the same idea, but instead used the Hobgoblin as his target, running straight at the hovering foe and leaping right at him. Realizing the goblin would move if he got too close, the blond substituted himself in midair with a log covered in explosive tags trying to make the bang big enough to take out his target.

"Fire in the hole!" shouted Naruto, causing Hiei and Kurama to hit the deck as the explosion took a chunk from the roof of an adjacent building.

"You punks are just as crazy as I am." grumbled the Hobgoblin as he crawled out from underneath some heavy debris. He had used his glider to shield himself from the explosion, which knocked him through a wall into a neighboring parking structure. The smaller more agile portion of his dual glider was trashed, but it was worth the sacrifice since the bulkier portion contained the heavier artillery. Hoping back on the glider, he blasted a hole in the wall and zoomed out to take his frustrations out Naruto and company. Naruto anticipated his survival of the explosion and was poised to strike. The blond channeled some chakra into his fingerless gloves, causing them to expand and cover his fingers while also lengthening down his wrist. A white square shaped seal appeared on the back of both his hands and the base of both his wrists. Electricity covered his hands as the white seals glowed and an expanded fumma shuriken appeared in each hand. After seemingly charging the disks with lightning for a few seconds the blond took aim and fired. The Hobgoblin dropped down a few feet in the air, allowing the two shurikens to sail over his head harmlessly, before he could mock Naruto for his poor aim, the shurikens curved around before making a beeline right towards him again.

"Shit, it looks like you brought some new toys as well." growled the Hobgoblin as he took off around the edge of a building ducking into an alleyway, before cutting across the top of another building with the shurikens hot on his tail. Hiei and Kurama appeared next to Naruto, glad that he finally managed to put their opponent on the run.

"Where'd you pick up this trick?" questioned Hiei.

"It's what me an geta-boshi have been working on the past few days. I should be thanking you, that cut with the shadow sword made all this possible." responded Naruto as he guided the shuriken around the twists and turns of several alleys in pursuit of their foe.

"Your demon energy, it's lightning nature. He must have tweaked you're bio-chemistry somewhat, to allow you to tap into a portion of it resulting in these electromagnetic abilities." surmised Kurama.

"Nerd." deadpanned Naruto."Yeah something like that. Geta-boshi had this elaborate plan for me to be swinging from the rooftops by electrified ninja wire like some crazy spider or something. This is much more my style, but enough chit-chat. I've got him on the run, find an opening!" shouted Naruto as he forced their opponent back up to rooftop level. With his focus completely on the two supercharged discs of desk on his tail, two clones where able to get the jump on him and actually board the glide, one on each side. Maintaining his position, the Goblin managed to bend back and a nearly impossible angle having the two attacking clones dispel each other.

"That bastard is surprisingly agile..." grumbled Naruto as his clones memories returned to him. He tried to force the Goblin towards an area where Hiei or Kurama could take him down, but the Halloween themed villain was a crafty flier on his glider despite its bulky size. Just when it appeared they had him cornered, the bastard would pull of a nearly impossible nosedive or barrel roll to avoid the trap.

_'I just learned how to do this, I can't keep it up forever,'_ thought Naruto as a bead of sweat trickled down his forehead. _'Time for plan B.'_

Naruto poured more power into the two shurikens, speeding them up significantly at the sacrifice of some maneuverability. After a few minutes the Hobgoblin recognized this as well, and put a plan into action to rid himself of the two nuisances on his tail. Pulling out of he steep dive, the goblin flew straight up until he just above the level of most rooftops in the area and made a beeline straight at the tallest, sturdiest building he could find.

_'Now's my chance!' _thought the Hobgoblin._  
_

Right as it seemed he was going to crash into the building the goblin back flipped off his glider, allowing the two fuuma shurikens to buzz right underneath his head and embed themselves deep into a concrete layer of a building.

"You'll have to do better than that sparky!" gloated the laughing Hobgoblin as his glider swooped around and caught him. His celebration was short lived, for as he rounded the corner of the building, he was clothes lined by several lines of ninja wire, tangling himself between them.

"Oh fuck me." grumbled the Hobgoblin as he out of the corner of his eye he spotted a couple of Naruto clones about to reach out and grab the wire, their hands sparking with electricity.

"GRAAAH! AAH! WHAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Come on we're all gentleman here? Perhaps we can talk this out? It's all just a big misunderstanding!" pleaded the Hobgoblin. Said demon was bound up tight with ninja wire, being dragged along by a pair of Naruto clones behind Hiei, Kurama, and the original Naruto.

"Sure, no problem. Misunderstandings happen all the time! Sometimes even the smallest misunderstanding can be quite shocking." replied Naruto with a friendly grin as he grabbed the restraints.

"WRURGAAAHHHH!" screamed the demonic villain in pain as massive currents of electricity tore through his body.

Naruto got right in the face of the convulsing demon sporting an insane grin, "You see thanks to you I'm planning on opening up this new restaurant, NFG:Naruto Fried Goblin. With all the product you've provided, we should be worldwide in a couple months."

Kurama doubled over in laughter and surprisingly even Hiei grinned, "I'm surprised Koenma had the guts to give this job to someone like you." The short demon picked up the still smoking body of the hobgoblin and sped up ahead.

"Huh?" muttered a puzzled Naruto.

Kurama chuckled, "I think he likes you now, you're just as cruel as he is."

"Well that's a shame." responded Naruto.

Kurama raised an eyebrow at this, "Hmm?"

"I don't really care about the opinions of people who aren't tall enough to ride carnival rides." replied a smirking Naruto.

Kurama could barely hold back his laughter, "Ah, a shame it is then."

"Indeed." added Naruto.

* * *

A/N: Another chapter in the books. Good times. Review or Urahara will experiment on you in your sleep!


	10. Mission Possible

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything

* * *

**Mission Possible**

As the clock stroked midnight in the business district of downtown Quebec, the heavy rains continued to poor down without a let up in sight. Thunder echoed across the sky, while the fierce winds howled as the violent storm raged on. Down on the slippery city streets a black four door Mercedes pulled up across the street from the seventy-four stories tall headquarters of a telecommunications company. Water sprayed across the empty sidewalk as the vehicle came to a halt and three men dressed in charcoal colored suits underneath heavy fur overcoats exited. One went to the trunk to pull out a pair of large metallic briefcases. The man who existed the front passenger seat said something to the driver before the car quietly pulled away. The three men made their way across the street to the front of the building before hustling around the corner to the service entrance of the building. The lead man swiped a key-card to unlock the door and the trio entered quickly to escape the harsh weather conditions.

"Why the hell aren't we doing this is a warm weather city? Or at least closer to home?" grumbled the lead man as they all discarded their overcoats near the exit before making their way down the narrow corridor to an elevator.

"This was the only location we could get with a rooftop landing access on such short notice. Nearly all the buyers came here in choppers." replied the second man.

"That and Sergio wouldn't do the deal in Tokyo, Sao Paulo, or Miami. Apparently somebody sent the Toguros after this stuff, so we're steering clear of their stomping grounds." added the guy carrying the briefcases.

The leader let out an appreciative whistle, "Good call Sergio, you crazy Spaniard. Do not want to those crazy bastards anywhere near this deal."

After stepping inside the spacious elevator, the leader hit the button for the top floor. The three stood quietly as the elevator zoomed to the top of building, the leader checking his watch one time along the way. The elevator pinged as it reached their destination and the door slid open.

The leader yawned as they stepped into the dimly illuminated hall, "Let's get this over with."

Their footsteps echoed as they trudged down the tiled floors of the corridor approaching a set of double doors that led to a make-shift laboratory. When they reached the doors the leader stepped of the left in front of two scanning panels at head and waist level. He placed his hand on the lower scanner while leaning forward to let the upper scan his right eye.

"IDENTITY CONFIRMED: Welcome, Takeo Moriaki." spoke a female computerized voice as the locks on the door released and it opened. A dark brown haired man of medium height with a full beard greeted them on the other side.

"Ah, Takeo right on time! And see you've got the merchandise with you, excellent!" he exclaimed in his thick Spanish accent while pumping his fist.

Takeo snorted at the man's mood, "Why does it always seem like you just downed a quadruple shot right when I show up?"

"Maybe if you came to more of my parties, you'd loosen up eh?" retorted Sergio with a devilish grin. Takeo smirked while he shook his head before taking a moment to survey the room.

"Pretty good turn up for such short notice, right?" commented Sergio.

"Yeah..." muttered Takeo as he recognized a few of the faces. On thirty-six hours notice they managed to get twenty-one representatives from the majority of the high end organizations of their alliance. Each rep was allowed to bring two armed guards for security in case any rival parties or thieves decided to crash the meet. There was no need to worry about any internal conflict here, anyone in attendance was assured product if they wished to purchase it after the demonstration. Takeo's two subordinates made their way to where the lab equipment was set up with the two briefcases and stacked them on top of the counter. One of the buyers, a tall light brown haired Latina woman in dark blue business suit, paused in her discussion with one of her men at the sight of the 'merchandise' being handled relatively casually.

"Whoa! Is it alright for you guys just to be carrying that around like that?" she questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"It's perfectly safe." replied a red haired man at the lab station working on laptop and adjusting settings for the various devices. "Until the activation isotope is added to the compound it is perfectly harmless. This provides for the easy means of transportation and the ability to move move almost anywhere undetected. The original plans this was hijacked from planned to transport it under the cover of a child's juice box, hiding the trigger agent by lining the interior of the straw with it."

"Brilliant..." murmured a blond haired man in gray suit as he scratched his chin.

"Enough of the science, I want to see this stuff in action!" exclaimed a green haired man in a black jumpsuit.

A gray haired Russian man wrapped an arm around his shoulder as he lifted a drink into the air with his other, "Patience my good friend! 'Ve 'vill all get to see the magnificence very soon. Sergio never fails to disappoint!"

"You're right about that!" agreed the grinning green haired man. "Hey Sergio! Let's hit up your London spot this weekend!"

Sergio shrugged in response, "Why wait for the weekend? Let's do it tomorrow night!"

"Yeah!" chorused a group in response.

"Sergio, we're set to go." stated the red-haired man at the computer.

"Welcome Ladies and Gentleman! I'm glad you could all make it..." as Sergio officially kicked of the meeting, Takeo made his way to back the crowd.

Takeo moved over to one of his men and tapped him on the shoulder, "Saito, I'm going out for a smoke."

"Alright boss." replied Saito as Takeo quietly made his way towards the door and exited into the hallway.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Ahhh!" sighed Takeo as he took a puff of his cigarette, blowing smoke out of the cracked bathroom window as rain pattered against it from the outside. "If it weren't for this shitty weather, I could be outside."

The weather had yet to let up outside, so Takeo settled for taking a smoke in the bathroom instead. He really couldn't wait to get this whole deal over with, since the Toguro brothers where after this product. There was only one thing that really needed to be said about the Toguros, they take what they need and leave nothing but corpses in their wake. Takeo finished off his cigarette and smashed the butt against the wet window screen to put it out. He made his way to the sink where he turned on the water. He wet his hands before squirting some soap on them and proceeding to wash them thoroughly. After finishing with his hands he splashed some water on his face before moving over and grabbing a paper towel to wipe it off. As he wiped his face he felt something hit the the tip of his shoe. Thinking it was water he turned the faucet off before running his hands through his hair. He then felt another drop hit his shoe and looked down to find it was blood.

"What the fuck?" he muttered while checking himself over to see where he had unknowingly hurt himself. He paused when another drop blood dripped down right in front of his face from the high ceiling of the bathroom and proceeded to look straight up.

"Well...shit." Somehow stuck to the ceiling, bound by some kind of metallic wire were the forms of the Russian man and his two guards, who he had just left in the lab minutes ago. By the look of it the trio was still alive, but they had been roughed up pretty good.

"They're not dead so it's not the Toguros, but how and fuck did you guys get up there?" blurted Takeo before he shook his head clearing his thoughts. "Fuck! There's no time for this shit. I've got to get back, before whoever is in there fucks everything up!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Takeo quietly closed the door behind him as he slipped into the room, surveying his surroundings. The demonstration had been completed and now the various buyers where haggling with Sergio over the price. He noticed that the Russian impostor and his guards had placed themselves in the location closest to the product, which was conveniently already packed away into briefcases once again.

'Gotta make a move now...' thought Takeo as he pulled his piece from inside his jacket and leveled it at the impostor. Saito and Yoshi immediately picked up on what their boss was doing and followed his lead as they withdrew their weapons as well.

"Move away from the merchandise Mikhail." calmly ordered Takeo putting everyone on alert. 'Mikhail' raised his hands up in a surrendering fashion while his guards placed their hands on their weapons ready to draw, along with everyone else in the room as the looked back and forth between Takeo and Mikhail with puzzled looks.

"Takeo! What is the problem?" replied Mikhail in his thick accent. "Don't tell me you're still mad about me selling that weapons shipment to the Croatians instead of you? I told Viktor to send you that new shipment of imports along with a case of Cubans so there were no hard feelings? We are 'all good' right?"

"Now I know you're definitely not Mikhail. Tell me how did you get the drop on him and get him stuck on the ceiling in the bathroom like that?" at this everyone turned their guns on the Russians.

"Come on guys? He's had a little to much to drink!" reasoned Mikhail.

"First and foremost, Mikhail doesn't know that much English. Secondly I never drink while doing business. And third your accent is close, but too much of a dead ringer from that Direct TV commercial." retorted Takeo with a smirk as he, Saito, and Yoshi all moved in closer.

The fake Mikhail shrugged, "What can I say? Opulence, I has it. I like the best, but I also like savings thee money. I can't get Direct TV most premiums television package five months free in my neighborhood. So when I hear about meet for new black market product, I jump in!"

This set off a few rounds off muffled laughter around the room.

"I've got to say this guy is pretty good. Had me fooled." muttered Sergio.

The disguised Russian taps an barely visible earpiece as he dropped the fake accent, "I told you we should have gone with the Americans."

"What are we waiting for! Shoot him!" shouted the green haired man.

"We need to know who sent him first Hans!" retorted the Latin woman.

"We don't have time to fucking interrogate him, just kill him!" shouted Hans.

"Somebody just knock him out, I'll take care of finding out who sent him after we're done here." ordered Sergio.

The sound of the locked entrance to the room being blasted off its hinges immediately diverted everyone's attention away from the situation at hand. To their surprise it was the smoking fist of a tall shadowy figure responsible for the damage. Everyone's breath halted as the tan skinned, broad shouldered man with sunglasses entered the room with another figure sitting on his shoulder.

"Fuck! It's the Toguros!" growled Hans.

"No shit Sherlock!" retorted Sergio.

"I believe you are in possession of something that belongs to my client." stated the younger Toguro brother as he adjusted his glasses.

"Yes now we can do this the easy way," began the elder Toguro as he suddenly morphed his arm into a blade. "Or the fun way!" he exclaimed while cackling with insane laughter.

"Dammit! Everybody drop their weapons. We don't want any trouble!" yelled Takeo as he put his weapon down, getting everyone else to wisely follow suit. "Saito, Yoshi, hand him the briefcases!"

"Oh no you don't!" yelled Saito as he saw the disguised Russian making a run for it with the two briefcases. Using the Toguro brothers arrival as a distraction, the impostor grabbed the goods and made a beeline for the emergency exit. He and Yoshi whipped out their secondary pieces, a pair of desert eagles, and opened fire. The other armed men in room all moved to follow his example, only to be halted by the shout of Takeo.

"HOLD YOUR FIRE! LET THE TOGUROS HANDLE IT, HE MIGHT BE ONE OF THEM!" commanded Takeo.

"Fuck that shit! He's getting away! Those two aren't having my ass for this, shoot!" yelled the Latin woman.

"STOP YOU IDIOTS! DON'T SHOOT!" Takeo yelled again, but it was too late. Everyone opened fire, unleashing a hail of bullets at the impostor and his two guards. Suddenly in a poof smoke the trio vanished and were replaced in mid air with some oxygen containers used for the experiment. Time seemingly stopped as everyone stared at the scene in horror before time sped back up again, and the bullets connected the the tanks triggering an explosion. Naruto and clones dispelled their transformations as he slammed through the emergency exit door using the clones for cover to escape the explosion. The blond booked up the stairwell he entered, headed straight for another set of double doors.

"Are the fuckin security alarms cut?" Naruto yelled into his earpiece as he approached the doors.

'Yes, but Sara says you only have 40 more seconds before the fire alarm go off thanks to your little stunt in there.' replied Urahara over the channel.

"You said there was no way the Toguros would show! I worked with what I could on short notice!" growled an irritated Naruto as he slammed through the doors onto the rooftop and into the torrential weather. The large hooded black cloak draped over his body blew against his back as he flipped the hood over his head, "Where to now?"

'Head north across the rooftops for 7 blocks.' informed Kisuke.

"Which way is North!" yelled Naruto as he streaked through the rain past the various helicopters.

'Go left!' responded Urahara.

With both briefcases in hand the blond hit the ledge quickly and leaped from the top of the sky scraper flying across the open air and landing on the rooftop of the hotel across the street. Landing cleanly the blond streaked to the edge opposite edge of the roof before using chakra to stick to building as he ran down vertically for several stories before using a balcony to spring board himself to a lower level of rooftops. At the lower height, Naruto was able to transverse across the buildings in single leaps. He quickly made his way to an alley in between a pair of abandoned buildings, close to the designated checkpoint. Naruto dropped down the side of a fire escape to ground level. The blond immediately froze at sound of a slow clap coming from the entrance to the alley. Strolling up to the entrance was a man he thought he'd left behind, the younger Toguro brother.

"Your escape was truly remarkable, however all good things must come to an end. It would be shame to have to kill someone as talented as you. Just hand over the packages and you can walk away." stated the younger Toguro.

"Do you really think it's going to be that easy?" Naruto dropped the two briefcases, a pair of clones appearing in his wake to pick them up as he blurred from his position. Reappearing in front of Toguro, Naruto landed a right handed hey-maker right on the younger Toguro's chin, but the hulking man didn't even budge an inch from the blow.

_'What the fuck is this guy made of?'_ he thought in astonishment as he stepped back before launching a furious high speed assault of punches that all landed cleanly but did absolutely no damage. As Naruto moved to launch a round house kick, Toguro reached out and poked the blond in the chest, sending him flying back into the Alley.

"Dammit!" yelled Naruto as he grabbed his chest in pain. _'What hell! He might have cracked my ribs with a finger poke!'_

'Dammit! I told you not to fight these guys! Get the hell out of there!' commanded Urahara.

"Shut up!" growled Naruto as he quickly formed an escape plan. _'The weather is shit, I might as well use it to my advantage.'_

As the younger Toguro started walking towards him down the alley, Naruto formed a quick hand sign and a thick mist blanketed the alley.

**"Kirikagure no Jutsu."** echoed Naruto's voice from throughout the mist.

_'Interesting, but not good enough.'_ as he vanished from his position within the mist reappearing on the edge of the roof overlooking the alley in front of a surprised Naruto, who was making his get away.

"Your skills are definitely top notch. Where it not for the fact that you encountered me of all people, you most likely would have gotten the target back to your employer." commended Toguro.

"They don't pay me enough to deal with guys like you." grumbled Naruto as he handed over the briefcases.

"My employer could use a talented guy like you. Whatever you're getting now, I'm sure he could double the offer." suggested Toguro.

Naruto let out a snort as he folded his arms in front of his chest, "This retrieval gig is a one time deal. I'm sticking with my usual protection and hunting details."

Toguro shook his head in disappointment, "A pity."

Naruto suddenly smirked, "For you maybe."

The blond suddenly vanished from sight in a poof of smoke. Toguro frowned at his sudden disappearance, and failed to notice the glowing tags stuck to the sides and bottom of the two briefcases in his hands.

**"KAAABOOOOOMM!"**

The explosion rocked alley producing a massive fireball and taking down huge chunks of the two abandoned buildings. The wet weather calmed down the flames quickly, but the two buildings now appeared to be on the verge of collapsing. Still standing within the midst of it all was a completely unharmed Toguro, only his jacket having a few singes.

A grin formed on Toguro's face as he started chuckling, "Very good Mr. Uzumaki, very good indeed. You certainly live up to your reputation, let's hope your friend Yusuke can soon follow in your footsteps."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Several miles away Naruto sat in the rear compartment of an inconspicuous delivery van with Tessai at the wheel. Urahara manned his portable work station from within the rear of the vehicle, testing out the contents of one of the briefcases by means of an analyzing device.

"I've got the mystery shit now, so tell me what it is?" demanded Naruto.

"Nothing to important really. Just a rare volatile compound." replied Urahara not looking away from the screen in front of him.

Naruto raised an eyebrow at the vague answer, "So what? You're keeping this stuff of the streets?"

"Of course not!" replied Urahara as if he was offended. "This is one of my creations, it's just that the components required to synthesize it were very hard to come buy. I simply leaked out the plans to the right people so they could do the work for me."

Naruto looked at Kisuke as if he was insane, "What's to stop them from recreating it? You gave them the fucking plans!"

The older blond waved of his concerns, "Yare, Yare. No need to worry, the plans contained a rather nasty undetectable virus that will destroy any machine they were stored on and the original disc corrupted after 48 hours."

"You're nothing more than a cheap, lazy bastard." deadpanned Naruto.

Kisuke shrugged at the comment, "My motto is to work smarter, not harder."

A devious grin formed across Naruto's face, "Good, that means you can't hold it against me for using this entire operation as blackmail."

"Who's to say I can't do the same to you? Or find other means of making your life miserable." countered Urahara.

Naruto snorted, "Ha! I'm untouchable! You've got nothing on me. Who the hell could you possibly threaten exposing me to anyway?"

The look that formed on Kisuke's face instantly told Naruto he'd made a huge mistake.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"So what do you have to say for yourself?" demanded Kushina as she glared at Naruto. The two were seated in her office up in Spirit World, on her office desk between them were a variety of photos with Naruto, Kurumu, and Moka in very compromising positions. Naruto should have known something was up based off the vibes Botan was giving him as she escorted him here. He even fell for her story that he had an urgent meeting with Koenma delaying his return to the academy, and now he was paying the price.

"Okay, I know this looks bad." pleaded Naruto. "But you've got to believe me, those girls came on to me!"

"A good explanation..." Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. "Unfortunately for you, it's the same one your godfather used when he was caught trying to take advantage of the fire lord's sisters."

"But it's true!" exclaimed Naruto, who was still thrown for a loop by the fact these photos existed in the first place. They all conveniently made it look like he was groping the girls, instead of the truth of them assaulting him.

"There is only thing that is true here, Jiraiya succeeded in corrupting you. So I'm going to have to beat it out of ya." Kushina reached down an opened a drawer in her desk, retrieving a large black frying pan.

Naruto was completely confused, "Huh? What the hell is the frying pan for?"

Before he knew which way was up, the frying pan nailed him in the face sending him flying out of his seat, through two walls and into his father's office across the hall.

"Believe me honey, this is for you're own good." stated Kushina in a motherly tone as she scooped up the pan and slowly made her way across the hall.

"Dad..help..." gasped Naruto as he reached out toward his father, still reeling from the blow.

"Naruto? Kushina what the..." Minato then saw his wife was wielding the dreaded frying pan of doom and Hiraishined his ass out of there. "You're own your own!"

"Damn you Kisuke! I'm going to fucking kill you for this!" cursed Naruto as he scrambled to his feet and tried to make and escape with his mother right on his heels.

"Cursing in front of your mother? Looks like I have even more work to do!" yelled Kushina as she threw the pan this time, nailing Naruto in the back of head and sending him crashing through another wall.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Naruto somehow managed to survive the encounter with mother and escape most of the beating by his patented method for dealing with righteous feminine fury: blame it on Jiraiya. Said super pervert managed to make himself useful by showing up to find Minato, Naruto naturally turned his mother's sights onto the toad sage. Somehow he even ended with ramen out of the deal via his father thanking him for his mother somehow breaking the frying pan during Jiraiya's beating. No being able to wait until he got back to his dorm room, Naruto unsealed his bowl of Ramen as he passed the gymnasium and dug in.

"Shit! This ramen is too fucking salty!" Cursing his father's strange taste in ramen as he spat out the noodles, Naruto chucked the steaming bowl of noodles as far as he could over the other side of the school in frustration. His throw was immediately rewarded with a loud shriek of pain in response.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"What the hell?" blurted Naruto as he hustled around the building to find out what just happened. He arrived upon the scene of Kurumu in her true form along with Moka and Yukari, staring down at the form of a shriveled and withered teen boy doused in ramen noodles and broth with Naruto's bowl covering the top of his head.

Naruto let out a whistle, "That was one hell of a throw."

Yukari threw up her hands in exasperation, "After all the trouble this moron caused, Naruto shows up and defeats him with one blow."

"Well we should have known better. Slugs are weak against salt." commented a shrugging Moka.

"Well...as you can see that ramen was way too salty. My work is done here, I'm heading to the cafeteria..." Naruto tried smoothly turn and walk away only for Moka and Kurumu to grab onto his jacket collar with death grips and drag him back to the newspaper club with them.

"Oh know you don't! We've got a deadline to meet and then you owe us an explanation!" declared Kurumu.

"And it's been nearly a week since I got to suck your blood!" added Moka.

Naruto threw his left arm up in frustration, "Ah man! Here it goes!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Thanks to some smooth talking and a blood offering, the girls weren't able to stay mad at their favorite blond for long. The Newspaper club stayed up until the wee hours of the morning completing the latest edition in time for print the next morning.

"Hey everyone over here!" yelled Kurumu as she waved out the students mingling around the front gate. The newspaper club set up a stand right in front of the front gate to distribute the latest edition of the school newspaper.

"Yeah! Come check out the latest edition of the school newspaper!" cheered Yukari.

"It's got the latest stories like the disappearance of the female students, and all the other important events at our academy!" proclaimed Moka.

Naturally with the two hottest girls in school giving out free stuff, a ton of male students gathered around them.

"It's so beautiful! Like getting the weather from the girl on Telemundo!"

"UWAAA! Moka-san and Kurumu-san handing out our newspapers! So cute!"

"Maybe if we get some newspapers they'll go out with us!"

Everyone immediately paused in their fantasies and stared at the guy like he was insane.

"What? I know there's only two of them and so many of us, but I'll throw this out there again: Bukkak-"

"Dude you have a serious problem."

"Yeah get some help man."

"Who cares about that sic fuck! Moka-san and Kurumu-san are here!"

The disturbing nature of their fellow pervert in arms quickly forgotten, they all stormed the make shift newspaper stand.

Naruto took a different approach in his distributing of papers from the steps of the entrance to the main building.

"EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! LESBIAN ART TEACHER TRIES TO CREATE PERSONAL HAREM OF FEMALE STUDENTS! PHOTOS INSIDE!"

"HOT OFF THE PRESSES: ART TEACHER BUSTED SAMPLING THE FORBIDDEN FRUITS!"

All the rest of the students not ogling Moka and Kurumu all rushed over to Naruto, and his papers were going like hot cakes. The women rushed to him because he was a good looking guy handing out a gold mine of gossip, and the guys because he was possibly handing out a photo spread of hot lesbians. Gin had propped himself up on a tree branch a short distance away, spying on a group of girls chatting about the latest gossip from the paper and comparing themselves to some of the girls pictured. All in all it was a good days work for the newspaper club.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

In a dimly lit classroom somewhere within the recesses of the school, two figures stood in front of an office desk. One shadowy figure sat behind the desk, flipping through the school paper.

"So, the newspaper club is at it again?" the figure behind the desk questioned.

"Yes, doing so from the front gates of the school no less." stated the feminine voice of one of the standing figures.

"Seems like we need to send a message." added the male voice of the other.

"Yes, I'll deliver this one personally..." growled the seated figure he as stood, the crumpled form of the newspaper incinerating in his hands.

* * *

Another chapter in the books. Look for the war between The Public Safety Commission and the newspaper club to kick off next time with all sorts of surprises.


	11. The PSC

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything

* * *

**The PSC  
**

"Alright guys, let's make this count! Triple Dog Z Jet 41 on three, Triple Dog Z jet 41 on three, BREAK!" boomed the voice of the quarterback, Haji, as the offense broke the huddle. There was no hesitation in their steps to the line of scrimmage, they had already let things get too far out hand, squabbling amongst themselves about trivial things. However, the buck stopped here as they united under one singular goal: crush the freshmen! Kotsubo-sensei placed the ball down on the thirty-five yard line, before blowing his whistle to signal the resuming of play. The center grabbed the ball, and the game was on.

"HUT! HUT! BLUE 42! BLUE 42! WATCH A! WATCH A! HUT! BLUE 42! HUT! HUT! HUT!" on the third call of 'Hut' the center snapped the ball to the quarterback. He dropped back a few steps and faked a hand-off to his running back, before rolling out to the right side of the field. The protection from his offensive held up, so he had plenty of time to scan the field for his receiving options. The middle linebacker was blanketing the tight end on the short option route, so Haji progressed to the secondary receiver and noticed the defensive back was looking into the backfield instead of closely observing his man. As the receiver slowed to make a break, he threw a pump fake and the corner bit on the out route, leaving the receiver wide open as he cut back across the middle of the field. Haji uncorked a dart and put the ball right in the receivers hands in stride. The receiver turned up field and appeared to have a free path to the end zone, when out of nowhere he got leveled by a crushing hit from the free safety, who put his helmet right on the ball.

"Fuck!" cursed Haji as the ball popped up into the air. The cornerback who previously got burned on the pump fake plucked the free floating ball straight out of the air before streaking down the sideline. Haji gave chase and had slight angle on him, but just as he reached striking distance he was blasted in his side by another bone-jarring hit from the free safety. Haji spun around like a helicopter before crashing face first into the turf. The defensive back turned and waved at him as he back pedaled into the end-zone for the game winning score.

"That was big time baby! Big Time!" shouted the middle linebacker as ran up and chest bumped with the free safety before they joined the rest of the freshman celebrating in the end-zone.

"Come on sensei! That was an illegal block in the back!" yelled one of his offensive lineman.

"He was hit in the side." deadpanned Kotsubo-sensei.

"Dammit, where did he come from..." grumbled Haji as he rolled over onto his back before cursing up a storm. They had been dominating the game until Nekonome-sensei dragged that Uzumaki kid into class, saying she caught him trying to ditch. The upperclassmen thought the freshman was just trying to escape the physical beating the freshmen got in the first P.E. game of American football every year. The truth was Naruto thought they were playing regular football again, and he was sick of being stuck playing goalie. When the blond realized they were playing American football, a frightening grin quickly flicked across his face before he hurried of to the locker to get changed. Haji wished he had taken heed of that look, the minute the blond joined the game it became a nightmare for the upperclassmen. Within ten minutes, Naruto had sent three players to the school infirmary. On offense he was a devastating runner and lead blocker, mowing down the supposedly stronger upperclassmen effortlessly. As a free safety on defense, he was a one man wrecking crew. In the beginning the upperclassmen were seemingly able to score at will, after Uzumaki showed up they could barely manage to make a first down.

_'That guy is like a human missile, seek ball and destroy.'_ thought Haji as one his buddies helped pull him up to his feet. He couldn't believe how this Uzumaki kid was taking the school by storm, rumors were already circulating about his legendary fights. Haji himself had experienced some of that first hand, when he pulled that regrettable stunt trying to recruit him to the karate club. He just shook it off as the guy catching him off guard, but now it seemed he would have to keep a closer eye on the blond's exploits.

Naruto stuck his shoulder pads and helmet on the bench next to the water cooler. He then bypassed the cups and taking the top off the entire cooler and starting to drink his fill. He felt a pair of eyes on him and put to cooler down momentarily to scan around, but as soon as he turned left he found a girl with long light purple colored hair standing right next to him sucking on a lollipop. She was just staring at him, observing his every move with her bluish purple eyes.

_'How the hell did she sneak up on me!'_ thought Naruto while managing to hide his surprise as he gave her a once over. _'I absolutely love the girls gym clothes! I need to check out Moka and Kurumu's gym class hehehe...'_

"You were pretty vicious out there Naruto Uzumaki." she said casually, bringing him back from his nosebleed worthy thoughts..

A vicious smirk flickered across Naruto's face, "Hehehe! No way I'm passing up open season to stomp some of those bastards into the ground. Unless I sent your boyfriend..."

She let out a light chuckle at that, "Nothing like that, I should probably be thanking you. I have a bad history with one of the boys you sent to the infirmary."

"You're welcome?" answered Naruto, not really knowing how to respond to that statement.

"Hey! Shirayuki! You were to one who volunteered to help clean up! Get over here!" hollered Kotsubo-sensei.

"Well, I've got to go. See ya around." she gave a small wave before following after Kotsubo-sensei.

Naruto sat there with a blank stare for a few moments before it finally dawned on him, "Who the fuck was that? And how does she know me?"

After few seconds he just shrugged, finding his incredible thirst a more pressing matter and went back to guzzling down some more water.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Kurumu sighed in disappointment, as she leaned back in the chair from behind the desk of the newspaper stand, "Where's Naruto-kun? I want to celebrate the big success of our Newspaper together. It's success truly exemplifies to power of our love!"

"Naruto-kun wasn't even here for the majority of the time this issue was put together." deadpanned Moka.

"Naruto is mine, so I intend to take advantage of any reason possible to celebrate our love!" declared Kurumu.

Yukari gave her an incredulous stare, "Do you even listen to yourself talk?"

Kurumu shrugged in response, "I drift in and out."

"Looks like you guys are almost out of papers. Should have put a price tag on these babies." commented Gin as he strolled up to the stand.

"I'm thrilled!" happily exclaimed Moka. "We've given away almost three-quarters of our copies."

"If you're free, why don't you help us pass out the rest of these?" suggested Yukari.

Gin waved of the request, "I was only stopping by to see you guys were doing. As the esteemed editor-in-chief of our fine paper, I must always be on the lookout for the next hot scoop of a story. I have some very important research I need to be getting to soon."

Yukari's eyes narrowed, not buying his story one bit, "Your 'important research' is nothing more than peeping on the girl's swim meet today. Your number one interest is in being a big hentai, that's the kind of editor-in-chief you are."

Gin plastered a flake smile across his face as he jammed his face inches from Yukari's, "What would an ironing board chested person like you be good for other than bad mouthing your betters."

"Who, but a depraved pervert like yourself would be peeping at the chest of an eleven year-old." retorted Yukari, not backing down one bit.

"Oh yeah? Why don't I rub them for you, to make them bigger." countered Gin.

A blank look formed on Yukari's face before she lifted her wand into the air and summoned a toilet on top of Gin's head, "Get your mind out of the gutter pedophile!"

Their antics were cut short by some shouts from the crowd gathered in front of the stand.

"Hey!"

"What the fuck?"

"Oh so that's how it is tough guy? I'm gonna be here all day baby! I like this kinda party!"

"Out of the way! Coming through here!" Ordered a commanding voice as a collection of students made their way through the after school crowd up to the newspaper stand, knocking various persons down along the way. When the students realized who this group was, they all scattered out of the way in fear as they marched up to the stand.

"What's going on?" questioned Moka.

"Shit! It's the black suits." grumbled Gin in annoyance.

"It's the Youkai Academy Guardians, the public safety commission!" stammered a girl in the crowd.

"What are they doing here?" fearfully exclaimed the boy next to her.

"Well, what do we have here?" stated a smirking dark haired female member of the commission as she gave the newspaper club a once over.

"Greetings members of the newspaper club!" declared the apparent leader of the group as he bowed to them. "I am Kuyou, head of the Youkai Academy Guardians. We are the Youkai Academy Public Safety Commission."

Moka stared at him with a puzzled look, "Public Safety Commission? You guys are the academy peacekeepers? What can we-" Gin cut off the pink haired girl as he stepped in front of her and lifter his hand up to silence her. Kurumu gave him a questioning look, but he shook his head in response.

Kuyou picked up one of the papers and started flipping through it, "I must commend your club on their exquisite work. You certainly know how to produce a top flight paper."

The three girls were caught off guard by the praise, but Gin was not fooled by Kuyou's attempt to lull them into a false sense of security.

"Who gave you permission to publish the contents of this paper? We don't recall having inspected this!" yelled a suddenly enraged Kuyou. The furious blond brought his foot down on table of the stand, smashing it in two. He started kicking over the boxes filled with newspapers as he continued his rant, "Don't you know what kind of trouble you're making for us? Gangs like you will not be allowed to roam free and do whatever you please and destroy the peace and order of this academy! I won't have it! Any activity you do must be sanctioned by the public safety commission. Unapproved activities will not be tolerated, and offenders will be harshly punished! Nothing comes before our ability to maintain the peace and order of this academy!"

"YES THEY DESERVE TO DIE! AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!" yelled the white haired male guardian standing behind Kuyou. The blond turned to give his subordinate a harsh glare for ruining his diatribe.

"Sorry, got carried away..." he muttered in apology.

"Why are you doing this to us? We were just passing out newspapers! That's what the newspaper is supposed to do!" exclaimed Kurumu in outrage.

"Seems the newspaper club has picked up some unsavory members once again." commented a dark haired girl who stepped out from behind Kuyou. She eyeballed Kurumu in a condescending manner, "Only trash like her could be responsible for littering our school with so much garbage."

"Who you calling trash-" started a pissed off Kurumu, only to be held back by Gin as the girl proceeded to destroy a stack of newspapers under the heel of her shoe.

"Excellent idea Keito. Since this club is a repeat offender we're going to make an example out of you." stated Kuyou as he had the rest of the commission gather up the rest of the papers into one big pile.

However, Kuyou froze in his tracks as two men in black suits seemingly appeared out of nowhere in front of them. One man was of average height with dark hair in ponytail and pair of distinct lines running across his face. With his finger nails painted purple he possessed the looks of some bishounen model, while his partner was anything but that. This second man was tall and muscular with blue skin along with what appeared to be gills on the side of his neck. His fang like teeth gave him a shark like appearance, and the blade hefted of his shoulder wrapped in bandages gave him a very intimidating aura. Both sported a pair of black sunglasses to go along with their identical black suits.

"Hold it right there shrimp! If you light those papers, I will chomp your legs off!" ordered the shark man.

"No need to be so threatening Agent K." commanded his partner. "Besides, we haven't even introduced ourselves."

"Wait! We didn't do anything!" shrieked a panicking Yukari.

"Who are you!" demanded Kuyou as he stared the duo down.

"Agents I and K, Demon World Department of Customs." stated Agent I as he flipped a identification badge.

"Division Six." added the shark man as he did the same.

"We got word that a batch of print paper for newspapers was created using illegally trafficked demonic plant." explained Agent I. "Under certain conditions this paper will now release a paralytic toxin. We've been sent to neutralize and quarantine the remaining batch we tracked to here."

"Demon World Department of Customs? I didn't know anything like that existed..." muttered a suspicious Kuyou.

Agent K laughed at that assessment, "We can't trust spirit world lackey's to monitor crimes from within the Demon World itself. We are part of a special commission created by Lord Yomi."

Everyone paled at the mention of one of the three great demon lords.

"Oh my goodness, Lord Yomi himself..." blurted Gin in shock.

"Exactly kids!" exclaimed the shark like agent with a feral grin.

"Everybody hold still." commanded Agent I. He proceeded to remove a metal coated glove from his suit jacket pocket and slipped it over his right hand. He lifted his arm into the air with his hand palm out, electricity began to spark around his hand as suddenly all the papers in the area shot through the air and started stacking against his palm.

As Agent I finished collecting the papers, Agent K reached into his pocket and pulled out a pen shaped device before stepping in front of the newspaper club and facing the crowd along with the Public Safety Commission, "Now we just need to do a brief scan and see if anyone on the grounds is infected and needs to be administered the antidote. Keep your eyes right here..."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

After retreating following Naruto's little rescue operation, the newspaper club members were all debating the merits of striking back at the public safety commission.

"Just leave it alone." commanded a scowling Gin. Despite the complaints and frustrations of his fellow companions of the newspaper club, the werewolf remained firm in his stance not to antagonize the Public Safety Commission.

"So you are just going to give up? That's it?" yelled an exasperated Kurumu. She couldn't believe that after all their hard work putting the paper together, they were going to let some thugs destroy the fruits of their labor just because they felt like it. "We're the newspaper club, printing newspaper is what we do! How can you let this go!"

"We've all worked too hard just to let someone trash all our paper for no good reason." added Moka.

"We have our own power. We can use the newspaper against them." suggested Yukari.

"You guys just don't get it. We were lucky wonder boy pulled off that stunt of his today. We don't have a choice in this matter. Do you have a clue what happened to all the previous members of the newspaper club?" questioned Gin. "They didn't leave because of graduation if that's what your thinking. We all fought against the corruption of Kuyou and his little gang. We wrote articles exposing their flawed enforcement of rules and questioned their lack of actions against people who caused real trouble. So called 'threats' to school safety would disappear for weeks on end, only to turn up beaten, tortured, and silenced. When students were attacked by rapists or bullies, the public safety commission was nowhere to be found. We called for the students here to rise up and demand change, to bring and end to Kuyuo's policing of the school. You know what they did in response? Kuyou destroyed us. He destroyed our club room, he captured the club leaders and they were never seen again. The rest of the club members got the message and abandoned this place, leaving me as the only one left."

All the girls went silent at the end of Gin's explanation, no one realized things had been that bad previously.

"You know, that's exactly the wrong thing to say if you wanted me to butt out." stated Naruto nonchalantly.

"Oh no you don't..." started Gin, but Naruto cut him off.

"If this Kuyou wants a war, he's got one. This is going to be epic, the prank to end all pranks." declared Naruto.

Gin waved his arms in a dismissive faction, "I want no part of this. I don't care how good you are, you should fear the public safety commission."

"That's the problem, everyone fears them. There are more students in the school then there are commission members, we students give them that power and we can take it away!" declared Kurumu in support of Naruto.

"As a child I once vandalized a national moment in broad daylight, and wasn't caught until after the deed was completely done. I also once infiltrated the compound of an elite group of assassins and doused all their clothes with a permanent itching powder. I wasn't caught until several days after the fact when I turned myself in to give them the antidote! I once raided a compound of noblemen, stole their underwear, and hung them in the town square for everyone to laugh at. Everyone knew I did it, and they couldn't even prove it was me! My power is limitless, my skills are unmatched, and this was before I encountered modern technology!" Naruto suddenly slammed his fist down on the table in front of him. "Once we're through the public safety commission will be nothing more than punchline."

Moka, Kurumu, and Yukari were all galvanized by the speech staring at Naruto with stars in their eyes, but Gin stared at them like they all just lost their minds.

"You're all insane!" stammered Gin in disbelief.

"Naw, I'm just good at inspiring people and causing mayhem. Now Mr. Editor-in-Chief, we're going to need all your research, a computer, fourteen chairs, and a large tub of Jello. Oh, and ten sticks of gum while your at it. The meet me at the AV Club room and remember, It ain't easy being cheesy!" declared Naruto as he marched out of the room.

Gin shouted at his retreating form, "Hey, Naruto! I don't want anything to do with this! Naruto! Naruto! Where the hell am I supposed to get a large tub of Jello! Naruto! Naruto! You ain't gettin my research! NAARRRUUUTOOO! Ah man, here it goes!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

At the three AM on the rooftop of the boys dormitory, Naruto could be found killing time by getting in some late night exercise, namely finger tip push ups on the edge of the roof. The blond was waiting to here back from Urahara, who he previously contacted for some supplies for his upcoming big plans. He was currently chatting away with Botan via his communicator, who called in wanting a report on his current activities.

"Why are you going through all this trouble anyway?" asked Botan. "I'm certain you're strong enough to march right in there and defeat this Kuyou person easily."

Naruto shook his head in disagreement, "That does no good. It's not like I'm allowed to actually kill the guy and make an example of him. Just beating him up would mean he or some other power hungry teme could just rise up to take his place. The students of this academy have to rise and up show they won't stand for this crap."

"I see you aren't doing this to fight against Kuyou, you want them to all overcome their own fear." reasoned Botan.

"Yeah, its eerily similar to my first big mission." replied Naruto.

Botan gave him a big smile, "Well it's good to see your using your brains instead of just brawn."

"You're lucky you're cute." grumbled Naruto, causing the blue haired grim reaper to giggle in response.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The next day at homeroom, Moka kept poking at a sleeping Naruto trying to get his attention before class started.

"Hey! After you left yesterday, you forgot to tell us our part in the plan." she whispered as she poked him with a pencil.

"Meh, the plan has already started. Someone still has to write the newspaper, that falls on you girls. Now lemme sleep!" he grunted while turning his head the other way on the desk.

Moka pouted in frustration and was about to start pestering him again, when suddenly the classroom speakers came on for an announcement.

"Good morning everyone this is Special Academy Guardian Tobi with a special announcement from your Pubic Safety Commission head Kuyou! He just wanted to let everyone know that this month is Pubic Safety Awareness Month here at the academy. We'll have several special things for you around school to alert you of the latest tips in pubic care. So lady's and gents Tobi leaves you with our theme for the month: before you get down at night with that special someone, remember to wrap it up! Have a nice day! Tobi is a good boy!"

All around school everyone paused in disbelief of hearing the message. They couldn't believe that someone like Kuyou would send out such a message, nor that anyone had the stones to pull off a stunt like that in mockery of him. Naturally in Moka's classroom, this was all forgotten when Naruto in his sleep mumbled, "wrap it up, Moka-chan...", loud enough for everyone to here. Moka turned bright red as everyone burst out in laughter.

_'That's going to cost you an extra bite at lunch.'_ thought Moka as she hid her face behind a book.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

As everyone piled into the cafeteria for lunch, they took notice that several television monitors had been installed in various locations. They all quickly forget about them with smell of fresh baked pie wafted through the room, nearly setting off a stampede of hungry teenagers. An angry Moka made her way through the crowd unscathed before slamming down her lunch at the table with a bickering Yukari and Kurumu. Both girls stopped mid insult, momentarily startled by the slight killing intent pouring off the normally cheerful Moka.

"What's wrong?" asked Yukari.

"Naruto-kun vanished right as class ended and I'm stuck with tomato juice." she snapped. At this statement the duo briefly recalled how irritable Moka had been when Naruto was gone during his last excursion. A little bit of the inner scary Moka would bleed out into her normal personality. The realized a couple days had past since Moka was able to 'feed'.

"Maybe we can track him down for you." suggested Kurumu with a hint of fear in her voice.

"Don't need to." said Yukari as she pointed up towards the television monitor closest to their table. The screens were now on and displaying the set of what appeared to be a radio station. With a pair of headphones seated across the table from Gin was Naruto wolfing down a bowl of Ramen. The chorus to the song "Business" by Eminem started to play in the background before a deep voiced radio announcer started to speak, "From the KU Studios of the Youkai Academy AV Club, it's time for Dattebayo Live! With your host... Naruto Uzumaki! Also featuring Gin 'The Jet' Morioka. With Rock Lee on sports and the man who only needs one name, Tobi! Now here's your host, Naruto!"

"I'm telling you this ramen is nothing compared to Ichiraku Ramen, Dattebayo!" yelled Naruto between slurps.

"Idiot! We're on the air!" yelled Gin.

"Does it look like I care? I'm finishing my ramen first!" snapped Naruto.

"Welcome to what will most likely be the first and last lunchtime broadcast of Dattebayo Live. What is Dattebayo Live? I have no clue ask the idiot sitting next to me." declared Gin. The next few seconds of airtime were filled with the sound of Naruto slurping down the remaining contents of his ramen bowl and then belching. He then proceeded to hop into the conversation as if the previous 15 seconds never happened.

"If you're research is as good as you claim, and you keep it coming, we'll at least be on until the end of next week. We're fully licensed by the Public Safety Commission Dattebayo!" stated Naruto.

"Stop randomly ending sentences with that! It's not even a real word!" exclaimed Gin.

Naruto raised an eyebrow at him, "Would you rather I start saying 'believe it!' randomly?"

Suddenly a sound clip started to play of Naruto ending random phrases with the phrase 'believe it'. After 15 seconds Gin was curled up in the fetal position, rocking back and forth."

"Okay! Okay! Make it stop! Dattebayo it is! For the love of Kami, please make it stop!" pleaded Gin.

"And that is why I am the star of the show, you are the sidekick. Now-" said a snickering Naruto. The sound two guys exchange blows followed by a whistle abruptly went off, cutting off Naruto mid thought.

"And it's time for a sports update, let's go to Rock Lee." announced Naruto. The camera instantly zoomed in on a pair of eyebrows before panning back to display Rock Lee in his full spandex glory.

"Yosh! Thank you Naruto! It is time for a most youthful sports update brought to you today by the Flames of Youth! Tired of that lagging 2:30 feeling! Try the Flames of Youth! One serving of the Flames of Youth will keep your passions burning for over 16 hours! Yosh! That's a lot youth and it's the truth! The Flames of Youth, keep those passions burning all day and all night! Alright! Yesterday in the academy's annual 'Kill the Freshman American Football Match', the Freshman managed to upset the Upperclassmen 48 - 42! In aquatics, the swim club's swim meet was able to be completed after a hour interruption, due several hidden cameras being found in the girls changing room. The most un-youthful culprit was apparently caught on his own tape, and will be identified by this afternoon at the latest. In the most youthful of sport of martial arts, the Karate Club defeated Judo Club in this years Karate-Judo challenge 19 matches to 11. Karate Club captain Raiji set a most youthful new academy record by going undefeated in this years competition. That's it for the youth update, next it's more Dattebayo Live! Back to you Naruto! YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUTTTTTTH!"

Lee seemingly floated off into the distance on a rainbow colored flame, before the camera panned back to Naruto and Gin, who sat with a pair of blank looks on their faces.

"We'll just pretend that didn't just happen. The esteemed Editor-in-Chief of our school paper will soon be filling you in on the latest news, but first..." as Naruto paused, the Price is Right theme suddenly started to play. "You know what that means!"

"Of course they don't know what it means! It's the first-" started Gin only for his microphone to cut out, courtesy of Naruto.

"Whoops looks like the Jet is having a little trouble with his microphone. No matter it's time for the Tobi Report!" declared Naruto.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

On the televisions the scene suddenly cuts to the profile of a dark haired guy in a black suit with a red cloud designs wearing a orange spiral mask with one eye hole. The camera pans out to reveal that he is up on a scaffold at the side of school building hanging up a banner advertising 'The Pubic Safety Commission'. He suddenly turns to the camera and waves.

"Oh! Hi, Naruto-sempai! Tobi is doing Tobi's important job! Tobi is a good boy! Goodbye, Naruto-sempai!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Excellent work as always Tobi." stated Naruto as he gave a thumbs up to the cameras.

"What the hell was the point of that?" exclaimed Gin in exasperation.

"Tobi is a very important member of our broadcast team. In fact, he is possibly the most important member. We'll go back for an update once his special project is finished. Now dish out the news ya dirty mutt..."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Back the cafeteria everyone's eyes were glued to the TV screens. The couldn't get enough of the absolute randomness of the show.

"Hey! It's that Tobi guy! He's up on the roof over there!" yelled a student pointing out the window. Everyone momentarily ignored Gin to rush over to the windows and see Tobi standing on the edge of the roof of the main building. Underneath him a huge banner was spread across the side of the main school building reading, 'A Message from the Pubic Safety Commission'. Underneath was a picture of a nude Kuyou with his hands and crotch covered in soap bubbles as he scrubbed away. 'A Good Thorough Lindane Shampoo Scrub is the Perfect Cure for Crabs!'

Nearly everyone started snickering at the sight of the banner and started letting off snide comments.

"Well that certainly doesn't leave a lot to the imagination."

"I guess it's not true what they say about Kitsune."

As Yukari and Kurumu finally contained their own laughter from the prank, they then noticed that Moka was gone.

Yukari sighed, "Naruto-kun, better hurry up with whatever else he's trying to do."

Kurumu pumped her fist, "Ha! I bet her rough treatment will only push things even more in my favor!"

X-X-X-Back-to-the-Show-X-X-X

"And it seems that Tobi's special project is complete. Let's go back for another Tobi report update." announced Gin.

Naruto picked it up from here as the broadcast shifted to Tobi's location, "It doesn't appear that Tobi will be able to give us this report. There appears to be some sort of infighting going in the PSC! I call it the PSC, because I don't know whether it's the Public or Pubic Safety commission. Perhaps this is a monumental power struggle to determine the groups future direction? No matter, it's looks like this affair will be over quick, that spider girl seems to have Tobi all wrapped up...No! I don't believe what I just saw! They had Tobi but he somehow managed to get away unscathed and now the chase is on!"

Out of nowhere, the Benny Hill theme song started to play in the background of the broadcast.

"It looks like they've got him..nope! Tobi gets away! He gets away again! They just can't bring him down! A total of 6 PSC members have joined the chase that has now spilled out onto the sports park. They're on the track and Tobi has literally got them running in circles now! They keep throwing everything they have at him, but this guy must have some Houdini Youkai blood in his veins, because he pulls off one high wire escape act after another. Uh-oh! It looks like they've got him circled, he couldn't possibly have an escape root. Yep and that's it! They've got him wrapped in some big black sack. Tobi had a good run, but those Academy guardians are obviously feared for a reason going to such lengths to handle one of their own. And now they've cleared out of there...What's this! It's Tobi! He just appeared out of thin air! But how! It's amazing! It's impossible! It's Tobi! He's waving at the camera and giving a bow! What's this? It looks like he has a message for us, if the camera would just zoom in..."

The camera then zoomed in on a sign that Tobi was holding up, "It's says to play Tobi's special video report, and that Tobi is a good boy! Well, he certainly is! It seems Tobi has already uploaded his special video report to us. Let's go to the tape!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The video starts off with a scene of three Tobi lookalikes, but all in different colored masks: blue, green, and orange.

The orange Tobi spoke first, "Today the musical styles of our hit group Toby! Tobi! Tobey!, is here to teach you all about the Public Safety Commission aka the PSC!"

(To the tune of the Family Guy, FCC song)

_**Toby/Tobi/Tobey knows all about the PSC!**_

_**If someone is kidnapping students, they're going to look the other way**_  
_**When the truth should be exposed, the make sure no one has anything to say**_  
_**Any complaining witness will never see the light of day**_

_**Here's the plain situation, there's no negotiation**_  
_**With the pussies at the punk-ass PSC!**_

_**They're as stuffy as the stuffiest of special interest groups**_  
_**Complain about their shady methods and they order in the troops**_  
_**Report your club funds have gone missing, and they'll act like they've been duped**_

_**Take a tip, take a lesson, you'll never win by messing**_  
_**With pussies at the punk-ass PSC!**_

_**They think that they're the highest authority in the entire universe,**_  
_**They'd probably jail your grandma for saying someone stole her purse,**_  
_**Every possible situation, they just make it worse**_

_**All judgments are despotic, All torture is erotic**_  
_**With the pussies at the punk-ass PSC!**_

_**And if a girl finds herself cornered by some big hairy ape**_  
_**She better drop her knee right on his soft man-grapes**_  
_**(They don't believe in rapist!)**_

_**So they make some little show of force, like they're prepared to do their worst**_  
_**And they'll stick their noses in your business, hoping you can be coerced**_  
_**I can think of another place that they should have stuck them first!**_

_**They may just be neurotic, or possibly psychotic**_  
_**They're the pussies at the punk-ass PSC!**_

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"That just may get us canceled Tobi. Thanks anyway! It appears that's all the time we have for today on Dattebayo Live, I'd like to thank..." Naruto was interrupted by the door of the studio flying off the hinges, revealing all the members of the swim club.

"Listen here mutt, we can do this the lose your dignity way, or the lose your manhood way." declared Tamao, head of the Swim club. "Either way is fine with us."

"Time for The Jet to jet!" blurted Gin as streaked through a closed window, causing it to shatter on impact. Despite the fact that they left via the door, the swim club was hot on his heels.

"Well, he definitely won't be here for tomorrow's show. Looks like I need to find a new co-host. Or maybe not..." Naruto trailed off he'd turned to the doorway and spotted Moka staring at him in a zombie like state.

"Hey! Miss me at..Whoa!" Naruto ducked as a pink blur sailed over his head. A overwhelming sensation of dread set in for the blond, as he felt a familiar object clasped between his fingers.

"Oh shit..." he muttered while staring at the Rosario in his hand. He looked up to see the silver haired inner Moka staring at him with a predatory gleam from the other side of the room. Sweat poured down the side of Naruto's face as growl escaped from Moka's stomach.

"That's it for Dattebayo live! I'll see you all tomorrow, if I have any blood left Dattebayo!" yelled Naruto as he ripped of his headset. Moments later a pair of yellow and silver blurs streaked out of the studio.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Deep within the headquarters of the public safety commission, Kuyou stood in front of a jail cell with an evil smirk plastered across his face. The two guardians accompanying him opened the cell door and the trio stepped inside to face a figure strapped to a chair with a burlap sack over the top oh his body.

"Now to unmask this cretin!" declared Kuyou as his subordinates ripped off the top of the sack, revealing the orange masked head of Tobi. Their looks of anticipation soon turned to ones of complete shock as the mask was removed to reveal the head of a scarecrow blowing a raspberry at them. Moments later the straw doll was incinerated courtesy of a furious Kuyou.

"Have Keito put an end to that ridiculous show and the rest if you bring me this orange masked imbecile. Failure will no longer be tolerated." commanded Kuyou.

* * *

DMF- From tons of action, to a chapter of pure insanity, what will DMF think of next? I found the normal Naruto kicks his ass to be boring in this scenario, so I went for Naruto humiliates his ass. (YAWN) Need to down some Flames of Youth...(Gulp)(Gulp)(Gulp) Ahhhhhhhh! YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUTTTTTTHHHHHH! ( flies off on a mystical multi-colored flame)

Lee- The Flames of Youth! They'll give you the most youthful flames!


	12. Along Came a Spider

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything

* * *

**Along Came a Spider  
**

Inner Moka felt a euphoric warmth envelope her body as she drank her fill of Naruto's blood. Something had changed with the blond's blood since she personally was last able to get a taste. It was richer, far more fulfilling and even slightly revitalizing. She could see why her other self was experiencing slight withdrawal symptoms while adjusting to this new blood. While Moka was quickly becoming thoroughly satisfied, Naruto was highly annoyed. At first he didn't care so much about her drinking his blood, the way she would drape herself all over him to feed was a nice added bonus. He also simply let her have way because Outer Moka was too damn cute to say no to, and because Inner Moka was too damn hot and likely to kick his ass and take her fill anyway.

_'Well shit, she was stronger than me before. Now that I'm back on top of my game, not so much. She's still physically strong, but that's just raw skill, no training. I can make my own rules now.'_ thought Naruto. "Hey from now own, no more freebies on using me as a snack. If you want food you're going to have to offer something in return."

Inner Moka raised an eyebrow as she broke away from him in slight surprise. After licking the blood off of her fangs, she started to chuckle. The chuckle soon morphed in full blown laughter until she moved around to face the blond and caught the look in his eye.

"You're serious aren't you?" she asked with a slightly amazed tone.

Now it was his turn to raise an eyebrow at her, "Of course I am."

She moved close to his body and grasped his arm, smashing it against her chest, "Oh? And what perhaps did you have in mind for this little exchange? A little more _intimacy_ between the two of us?"

Naruto couldn't hold back the grin that formed across his face, "I was thinking more along the lines of a sparring partner, but whatever you feel is appropriate."

"Whatever I feel is appropriate, hmm?" she said as reached up and peeled back his sunglasses. Looking into his eyes she leaned towards his face and just as they both closed their eyes the silver haired vampire nailed him with one of her trade mark kicks.

"I like the backbone, but I'm the top of the food chain here. Know your place!" she declared.

The kick sent the blond flying through some trees. Several branches snapped against his body as he flew back and hit the ground before skidding along the rocky soil to a stop.

"Damn!" groaned Naruto as he rolled over onto his back. "That brings back memories, felt like a baa-chan hit. That was one of her trademark setups for the old perv too, I should have known better."

He slowly staggered to his feet before looking himself over. He immediately discarded his torn up jacket and shirt, leaving himself in only a wife beater tank top along with his pants and shoes. His normal sunglasses had fallen off somewhere along the way, but he paid it no mine. Despite his eyes being full revealed he had no plans on using the Jagan in this fight. This simply wasn't that kind of battle. He teleported via shunshin from the middle of the trees back into the clearing with Moka.

"You know, when you do those high leg kicks, it gives your opponent a great view." stated Naruto offhandedly.

"It seems you have yet to learn your place." Moka absentmindedly twirled some of her silver locks as she appreciatively took in the sight of a nearly shirtless Naruto.

"When we first met, I wasn't myself entirely. I let you do as you please then. Things have changed now, you want something from me, you have to earn it." declared Naruto.

Moka's eyes narrowed at this, "You dare to claim to be my equal?"

"I'm not making a claim..." stated Naruto as he activated the seals on his gloves. Moka stared at him impassively until she felt the power start roll off of him in waves. An aura of blue and white electricity surrounded his body and he suddenly vanished in a flash of white.

"I'm stating a fact." before she even comprehend what was happening, Naruto reappeared right in front of her, striking her stomach with a palm thrust and sending her flying into the trees. **"Static Body: First Release!"**

The silver-haired vampire slammed violently into a sturdy tree trunk, back first, creating a deep body indentation. The blow was far more powerful and far faster than anything she anticipated. After taking a moment to regather her senses, she removed herself from the tree.

_'It's been a while since I face someone on this level. I let my guard down too easily.'_ thought Moka. She then looked down to where he had struck her body and found her skin had some burns that just started healing. _'Not only has his speed and strength increased, he's now harmful to the touch. This new power must be from his true nature. It also explains why his blood became so much richer. What is this feeling of excitement coming over me?'_

Moka smirked before vanishing from sight. She reappeared behind Naruto with a large tree trunk in her arms swinging it at him like a bat. Naruto reacted at the last second shielding himself with his arms, causing the tree to splinter on contact with him. The force of the blow was still strong enough to knock him on his ass.

"Ah fuck!" cursed Naruto as his head slammed violently into the ground. He quickly rolled away to dodge a heel slam from Moka. Naruto flipped to his feet and lashed out with a sweeping kick that took Moka's legs out from beneath her. Moka's skirt flipped up revealing her black lace underwear and providing Naruto with a major distraction. Moka capitalized on him staring at her with a glazed expression by nailing him a with a spinning kick to the face.

"That was so not fair!" roared Naruto as he stormed back towards her.

"What are you going to about it?" she taunted back.

In the blink of an eye, Naruto tackled her, sending the two of them tussling along the ground until they came to a halt against the base of a tree. Moka had her back up against the tree and squirmed in pain within his grasp until the aura around Naruto suddenly died down.

"That was a good spar. We're definitely doing this more often in the future." said Naruto, catching her off guard.

Moka was confused, "A spar?"

She then noticed blood leaking out of the corner of his mouth and quickly moved her head forward and slammed her lips into his. Naruto was stunned initially but started to respond to the kiss as Moka's tongue invaded his mouth. Both hormonally charged teens had a slightly dazed expression once they pulled back after remembering they needed to breath.

_'This is like that reoccurring dream I have about that hot crazy examiner lady from my chunin exams.'_ thought Naruto. _'Damn shame. If I had managed to make it back to the village, I definitely would have tried to get with her.'_

"We'll have to make this a regular thing." stated Moka as she licked her lips, savoring the remaining taste of Naruto's blood.

_'Oh hell yes! It's been too long...'_ thought Naruto as he gained a perverted gleam in his eye. One that didn't go unnoticed by Moka as she flung him off of her.

"I was referring to the sparring. You haven't earned that kind of reward_...yet._" Moka thought the last part to herself as she walked over to Naruto and slapped the rosario back on before collapsing into his arms._  
_

"Fuck! Another cold shower...These girls are going to be the death of me." grumbled Naruto as started making his way back to the dorms carrying Moka.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The next morning Naruto decided to get an early jump on the day's show. He sent a shadow clone to class in his place, while he dragged Gin out of the infirmary to the AV club. The werewolf seemed to possess the inherent ability of all super perverts to recover quickly from a beating induced by righteous feminine fury, only sporting a slight limp. Naruto suspected he was faking it to gain some female attention, but the thought was quickly banished to the back of his mind after they opened the door to the AV club. The entire set up from the previous day was now covered in layers upon layers of some white silky thread-like substance.

Naruto summed up the situation in front him perfectly, "Well...shit."

"You know what, I only need to say one thing. I told you so." admonished a somewhat smug Gin at having his point about the Public Safety Commission proven.

"What the fuck is this shit? Spider web? Gross!" spat Naruto in disgust as he tried to wipe some webbing off his finger. The blond then suddenly cringed, "Ah man, we are so screwed."

"I told you, taking on Kuyou does not end well." chided Gin.

Naruto rolled his eyes in response, "I'm not talking about that bastard. Takanaka-sensei is going to have a cow. You know how anal he is about his club's equipment."

At that moment said Sensei opened the door to the room and froze at the sight in front of him.

"What in the hell..." mumbled the stocky, thick bearded, bald man.

This time it was Gin who summed up the situation perfectly, "Well...shit."

A dark shadow crossed his face as he turned to Naruto and Gin, "I let you incompetent fools use my club's equipment for one day and this is what happens. You guys are finished. Never again. Banned for life!"

"But Sensei-" started Naruto only to be cut off.

"THESE ARE MY MACHINES!" roared Takanaka-sensei.

"Sir-" Gin couldn't get a word in edgewise either.

"MY MACHINES!" bellowed Takanaka again.

"Whose machines?" asked Gin.

"MY MACHINES!" roared Takanaka.

Naruto glared at Gin, "How is that helpful?"

"THEY'RE MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MY MACHINES! MY MACHINES! MY MACHINES! MY MACHINES!..." raved Takanaka as he started stomping around like a child throwing a tantrum.

Gin and Naruto gave each other a look before throwing their hands up in frustration and walking out as he continued to rant.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Naruto slammed open the door to the headmasters office to find him involved in what appeared to be an intense conversation with his brother, the bus driver.

"Yo!" yelled Naruto in greeting, but they continued on as if they didn't hear him.

"Yo!" yelled Naruto again to no avail.

"Hello!" shouted the blond as he started jumping up and down waving his arms.

"Hey old guys!" called out the voice of Urahara as he entered the door behind Naruto.

"Pfft. You calling us Old? That's rich." retorted the bus drive.

"I got a bone to pick with you. What the hell is up with this Public Safety Commission? Who in there right mind would allow the inmates to run the fucking asylum?" yelled Naruto.

The headmaster dismissed his objection, "The commission is a traditional club. This incarnation may be somewhat over zealous, but I'm sure it's nothing that can't be corrected."

"Wouldn't this have been something to inform me about, I don't know, the first day I took the damn job? If these bakas didn't have a bone to pick with the newspaper club, I wouldn't have even known they existed! They don't do any guarding! You know how many rape and assault attempts my clones stop on a regular basis with these goons nowhere to be found? Not mention the stuff I've stopped personally. Sheesh, between them and your sensei, I have no idea how students graduate from this place in one piece. Too lazy to exercise your own authority, you drop in an undercover cop to do the work for you. Everything about this place is ass-backwards!" ranted Naruto.

The headmaster smirked at him, "Feel good to get that off you chest."

"Damn straight!" replied Naruto.

"Well off you go then." said the Headmaster as he made a shooing motion.

"You're not off the hook yet. Does the commission have any sort of rule-book? A guidelines of thing they are supposed to enforce?" asked Naruto.

"Not per say..." replied the Headmaster.

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Now wonder they can't do anything right, they have no idea what their doing. They're a bunch of disorganized vigilantes."

"What I meant was they have an adviser. That faculty member makes sure they enforce the proper rules." clarified the headmaster.

"Well, who in the hell is their faculty adviser?" demanded Naruto.

"Oh, I believe it's Hondo-sensei." informed the Headmaster.

The bus driver started snickering, "Hondo-san retired five years ago."

The headmaster only had one way to sum up his thoughts, "Well...shit."

"This is why I told you to hire a secretary." teased Urahara.

"I'll work on finding a sensei to oversea the club. In the meantime, I'll entrust you in finding a means to get your peers under control." said the Headmaster.

"Pfft. Yeah, I'm gonna shove my foot so far up that teme's ass-" began Naruto only to be cut off by Kisuke.

"Unless you intend to take over the public Safety commission yourself, simply beating up Kuyou won't change much." advised Urahara. "You'll have to come up with a much more productive solution than that."

"Just dump everything on the new guy why don't ya?" grumbled Naruto as he stormed out of the office.

The Bus driver started laughing, "He's been here how long and he's already disgruntled?"

"His main problem is he hasn't figured out how to get laid without pissing off all the various girls pursuing him." responded Urahara.

Both the Headmaster and his brother gave him deadpan looks.

Kisuke shrugged at them, "What? He's got two definite and a few possibles. Play his cards right and he gets them all, tip the delicate balance he gets none."

The headmaster shook his head, "You need to stop watching soap operas. It's rotting your brain."

"Spying on me again getaboshi-teme? You are so going to pay for that! Hehehe! We need a new studio site!" yelled Naruto as he reappeared behind Urahara.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Let go! Let go!" pleaded Urahara as Naruto dragged him out of the room by the ear.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

During the morning break Naruto ducked into the newspaper club room, cup ramen in hand. As he slurped down his delectable noodles, he joined Gin in reading through the girls notes from the previous day. As expected Dattebayo Live was a hit with all the students. What was even more promising was the fact that the image of Kuyou and the public safety commission had taken a huge hit. However, after thinking on the piece of advice handed out by Kisuke, Naruto decided to reshuffle some of his plans. Kisuke was right, completely obliterating the public safety commission would just leave a power vacuum for someone else to fill and cause a lot more work for him in the long run. He decided to pull a page straight from the Sandaime Hokage's playbook, something the old man was legendary for: if it's too much of a pain to beat 'em, manipulate 'em.

"You know sacking Kuyou and his goons might not be such a good idea." stated Naruto casually, as if making conversation.

Gin just stared at him as if he was insane.

Naruto decided to elaborate on his change of scheme, "Just hear me out. Let's just say the PSC gets shut down. All that does is leave a huge void of authority for someone else to step in and fill. Someone who could be far worse than Kuyou. We don't need Kuyou gone, we just need him to actually do his job. The bastard is somewhat predictable. He probably just needs the stick up his ass removed, and I've made killing removing sticks from people's asses over the years. Only one undocumented failure."

"And how oh great wise one, do you intend to get someone as stubborn as that moron to change his ways. Kuyou is all about his own agenda. Ridding this academy of _filth_!" mocked Gin. "Unless you plan to Jedi mind trick him, it's impossible."

"No idea what a Jedi mind trick is, but an Itachi Uchiha style brainwashing is well within means." muttered Naruto as he raised his hands behind his head.

Gin looked at him confused, "Weasel what?"

He never heard Naruto's reply as door opened, and Naruto found his face mushed into the heavenly valley that is breasts of the club's resident succubus.

"Good Morning Naruto-kun! I missed you!" squealed Kurumu.

Gin immediately busted out with a notepad and started taking notes while giggling at his friend's good fortune. Moka, feeling strongly possessive of Naruto this morning, latched onto the blond from behind trying to shove the succubus off of him. With the combination of his face in Kurumu's chest, and Moka's assets pressed up against his back, it was as if Naruto had achieved some form of Nirvana. The feeling quickly left him as he found that between the two girls smashing him between them, he couldn't breathe.

"Get off Naruto-kun!" yelled Moka.

"First come, first serve pinky!" fired back Kurumu.

The girls never saw it coming, "SMACK!"

"OWW!" cried out both girls as the jumped back slightly from Naruto spanking them.

"Sorry, I couldn't breathe." Naruto then gave then a dose of sad puppy dog eyes, causing them to melt into his arms and start apologizing to him.

Gin let out a loud giggle as he caught sight of Naruto massaging their luscious posteriors in the spot where he spanked them. He failed to notice the large toilet hovering over his head until it was too late.

"Bad doggy!" scolded Yukari as she shook her wand at the now unconscious werewolf.

"I wish you would let us help you." whined Kurumu.

Yukari leaned back into her chair and let out a long sigh, "Somebody still has to make the newspaper."

"Yeah, but it's much better when we get to make the newspaper together." countered Moka.

Naruto sighed, "Yeah, I know. It shouldn't be too much longer until things are back to normal. Whatever that is."

Naruto let go of the girls and walked over to Gin. He shook his head before giving a nod to Yukari. She giggled before waving her wand causing a bucket of ice water to appear over Gin and dump onto his head. The werewolf immediately shot up from the floor and starting shaking himself like a wet dog.

"Let's go dog-breath-sempai. We've got work to do." said Naruto as he made his way out the door.

"I am not a dog!" yelled Gin as he sped after him.

Naruto snorted derisively, "Could have fooled me."

"Quality time with my Naruto-kun always brightens up my day!" exclaimed Kurumu.

Moka narrowed her eyes at her, "What do you mean your Naruto-kun!"

Yukari shook her head as the two entered into another of their frequent squabbles.

"Slow and steady wins the race." muttered Yukari quietly to herself.

"What was that?" shouted Kurumu as she and Moka paused to look at her.

"I said we should hurry up before we're late." replied Yukari. _'Just keep it up you two. In few years after he's bored with you two bickering fools, and a younger sexier witch will be too much for him to pass up. Plus there's always love potions...'_

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

At the sound of the bell, there was a ruckus stampede of students through the halls of the school as they all scrambled to get to the cafeteria for their lunches and a good seat. Even students who were skipping school made a beeline to the lunchroom from their various locations. Almost at the exact time that everyone found a seat, the televisions around the room all turned on to the sight of a Cup of Ramen with the following inscription displayed on the bottom left corner, like for a music video:

Toby! Tobi! Tobey! ft. Naruto  
Ramen's Paradise  
The Orange Show  
DatteBayo Records

"This goes out to Ichirakus..." whispered the voice of Naruto as the instrumentals to the song Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio started to play.

The scene suddenly shifted to the orange masked Tobi emerging from a thick mist and leaning up against a cross shaped headstone.

As I walked through the Valley of the Shadow of Death,  
I took a look in my wallet,  
And realized there was nothing left,  
'Cause I've been pranking and laughing so long  
That even my momma thinks that my mind has gone.  
Now I ain't never pranked a man that didn't deserve it.  
Me be treated like a punk, you know that's unheard of,  
PSC you better watch how you're talking, and where you're walking,  
Or you and your cronies might get buried in chalk,  
I really hate to rip, but now I'm kinda broke,  
But somebody needed to slam Kuyou's head against some maple oak,  
Fools, I didn't plan on a prank war, just to settle in for the night,  
With my chopsticks in the right  
Slurping noodles in the moonlight.

(The scene cuts to Naruto and the two other Tobi's holding bowls of ramen as they sang the chorus)

We've been spending most our lives  
Eating at a ramen's paradise.  
We've been spending most our lives  
Eating at a ramen's paradise.

(Suddenly the ramen bowls are all replaced with plates of normal food)

Now we're stuck with forks and knives  
Too broke for a ramen's paradise.  
Now we're stuck with forks and knives  
Too broke for a ramen's paradise.

(Cuts back to the first Tobi)

Look at the situation, they got me facing,  
I can't eat a normal plate, it's way too damn late.  
So I gotta be down with the kitchen team,  
A lot swim club watching, will give ya good dreams.  
I'm an uneducated fool with miso on my mind  
Got a kunai in my hand and a gleam in my eye.  
PSC you need to know once false move, and ya'll tripping danger  
Cause I'm really damn hungry, so don't arouse my anger.  
Fool, death ain't nothing but a heart beat away,  
I'm living life pork or beef, what can I say?  
Instant is okay for now, but will I live to eat miso,  
The way things is going I don't know.

(The scene back cuts to Naruto and the two other Tobi's holding bowls of ramen again)

Tell me why are we  
So blind to see.  
That the way to peace  
Is chicken or beef?

We've been spending most our lives  
Eating at a ramen's paradise.  
We've been spending most our lives  
Eating at a ramen's paradise.

(Suddenly the ramen bowls are all replaced with plates of normal food)

Now we're stuck with forks and knives  
Too broke for a ramen's paradise.  
Now we're stuck with forks and knives  
Too broke for a ramen's paradise.

Pork or the chicken, chicken or the pork,  
Why not both? And no more forks!  
Everybody's running, but half of them ain't looking  
It's going on in the kitchen  
But I don't know what's cooking.  
They say I can have only on bowl  
But that's not enough to feed me.  
Why can't they understand it, I want all I can eat?  
I guess they can't,  
I guess they won't,  
I guess they front,  
That's why I know my lunch is out of luck, fool!

(The scene cuts one more to Naruto and the two other Tobi's holding bowls of ramen)

We've been spending most our lives  
Eating at a ramen's paradise.  
We've been spending most our lives  
Eating at a ramen's paradise.  
Now we're stuck with forks and knives  
Too broke for a ramen's paradise.  
Now we're stuck with forks and knives  
Too broke for a ramen's paradise.

Tell me why are we,  
So blind to see  
That we all should have,  
Chicken and beef?  
Tell me why are we,  
So blind to see  
That we all should have,  
Chicken and beef?

As the song faded out the scene cut to Naruto and Gin in a makeshift outdoor studio as the instrumentals for the song 'Jenny was a friend of Mine' by the Killers, started to play in the background.

Then came the deep voiced radio announcer, "Live from the remote rooftop studio along the Youkai Academy skyline, it's Dattebayo Live! Now here are your hosts, Naruto Uzumaki and Gin Morioka."

"Welcome! Welcome to show number two! A show many people thought we'd never get to do!" declared Naruto.

"And on behalf of all sane people involved in this operation, I would like to apologize for that _thing_ that preceded the show today." stated Gin in a remorseful tone.

"Hey!" shouted Naruto. "That was awesome!"

Gin looked at him as he if was insane, "It doesn't even make sense! A ramen paradise barely makes sense, how in the hell could a ramen's paradise make sense!"

"Because a ramen's paradise is a paradise for all paradises!" proclaimed Naruto.

"That doesn't make sense!" shouted Gin.

"Oh yeah, well so's your face!" retorted Naruto.

"That doesn't make sense either!" yelled Gin.

"So's your face always makes sense." gloated Naruto.

Gin threw his hands up in exasperation, "Oh, Come on! You are-"

Naruto cut him off, pointing off to the left, "Hey look, the swim club is sunbathing!"

Gin jumped up and scrambled over to the right side of the roof, "Where! I don't see anything over AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

"While Gin finds his way back to the roof, let's throw it over to Rock Lee for a sports report. Lee!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The conclusion of the day's show was not complete without a obligatory visit from the public safety commission. No sooner than did the boys drop their headsets at the end of the program, did Keito make her presence known. Gin and Naruto were expecting this, however the surprise was that only one member made the trip.

"Man you guys must be short on man power." joked Naruto.

"If you must know, all other commission officers are scouring the school grounds for this _Tobi_ person." spat Keito.

"If you put this much effort into catching actual troublemakers, you might have made stopped a rape or two this semester." retorted Naruto.

"You just love mingling with the _trash_ of this academy Gin. One would think you'd have learned the consequences of rolling around with _filth_ after what happened last year." sneered the dark haired girl.

Gin rolled his eyes, "What do you want Keito?"

"Kuyou-sama has declared this _show_ unsuitable for the academy airwaves. You are to cease and desist broadcasts immediately. Also, hand over the identity and location of this Tobi person." announced Keito.

Naruto started chuckling, unable to contain his mirth.

Keito raised an eyebrow at the blond, "And what about this is funny?"

She took a step back, when she caught the crazy gleam in Naruto's eyes, "Because, there are just so very many ways to for me to say this to you. I can't just pick one, so have 'em all! Never! Not in a million years! Absolutely not! No way Jose! No way Hokage! No chance Lance! Hell no! No way in hell! No no jutsu! Negatory. UN-UN. Nah. UUH-UNN! And my own personal favorite of all time, man falling of a cliff, 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'"

"Do you have-" began Keito, only for Naruto to hold up a finger and silence her momentarily.

He then flicked his hand at the ground, "SPLAT!"

_'This guy is crazy!'_ thought Keito. This thought was quickly reaffirmed when Naruto started waving at her. After a few seconds she realized he was waving at something behind her. Keito turned around to come face to face with an all to familiar spiral orange mask before everything went dark. Tobi transformed back into a shadow clone, who hefted the girl over his shoulder and departed to a discreet location.

Gin let out a yawn, "Let her stew for a while. We can pick this up after school is out for the day. Oh! It's almost time for afternoon P.E. Smell yah later!"

"Yeah time for the girls changing room to fill up is more like it." muttered Naruto as the werewolf sped away._ 'This was just too easy. Walked right into an ambush like a fool. Changing methods-'_

His ramblings were cut short by a greeting of, "Nice show today."

_'Shit! How the hell did she sneak up on me again!'_ thought Naruto as he turned around to find Mizore smiling and waving at him. "Yeah, we like to have a pretty good time with it."

Mizore giggled, "You're a pretty creative guy. I bet-"

Naruto didn't hear a single thing she said, his eyes zeroing in on the lollipop she was absentmindedly working with her tongue and mouth. The blond tugged on his collar as his pants suddenly felt a couple sizes too small._ 'When your done with that treat, I got one more for ya...'_

"-wouldn't that be cool?" asked Mizore.

Naruto still not paying attention to what she was saying, replied, "Yeah, sure."

"Well, you better get to class. See ya around, Naruto-kun." she said with a smile as she walked off.

It wasn't until she vanished down the steps that Naruto became alert and it dawned on him again, "Who the hell is that girl!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Somewhere on campus in a dark abandoned classroom sat an unconscious Keito, restrained by wire and ropes. Some Naruto clones had turned the place into a makeshift interrogation room. After a coin flip, it was determined Gin got to play bad cop.

"Wake up!" shouted Gin as he slapped her face.

"Waahh..." muttered a groggy Keito as she was slow to come to.

"How about a little bit of itsy... bitsy... SPIDER!" shouted Gin as he dumped a bucket of ice cold water on the restrained girl. With a loud shriek, the girl was now both fully alert, and dripping wet.

"You bastards! If you don't release me right now-" screamed Keito, only to be cut off by Gin.

"You'll what? Tattle on us to your little master? You don't get to make any demands." sneered the werewolf.

Keito started laughing hysterically, "You fools! Kuyou-sama treats attacks on Public Safety commission members like an act of terrorism! He'll roast you alive!"

"This is taking too long." grumbled Naruto as he lifted his shades. He took a glance at Keito and shook his head, "She's not going to talk, maybe we should just forget this whole thing."

Gin sighed, "You're right, it's probably not worth it. Look Keito, let's forget this whole thing."

Keito stared at them stunned, "Yeah, sure."

"Yeah, sorry about this whole thing." apologized Naruto as he took out a kunai and started cutting her free from her restraints.

"We'll go return all the equipment to the A/V club and issue a public apology." stated Gin.

"We can help you apprehend Tobi as well." added Naruto.

Keito let out a grateful sigh now that she was free. She started running her hands over the spots on her arms where the restraints were tightest.

"Thanks guys." Her look off gratitude quickly morphed into a sneer as she opened her mouth and spewed forth copious amounts of webbing, wrapping the two of them up in cocoons. "Fools, did you really think you'd get off that easy? I would finish you off myself, but I believe Kuyou-sama would like to have a word with you idiots first."

Keito revealed her true form of a Jorougumo, sticking the cocoons containing Naruto and Gin to her back and discreetly making her way to the Public Safety Commission headquarters. Upon her arrival she dumped the two cocoons into a holding cell, reverted back to her normal form and made her way to Kuyou's office.

"Kuyou-sama! I've captured the two from that _show_." informed Keito.

Kuyou jumped up from his desk, "Excellent! Take me to them now!"

They quickly made their way to the holding cell, sliding the door open. Kuyou igniting his hands and sliced open the cocoons, only to find them completely empty.

"What is the meaning of this!" he bellowed at his subordinate.

"This is impossible! I swear they were here! They had me captured, then let me go and I turned the tables on them! They were in there!" shrieked a panicking Keito.

"You were captured..." growled Kuyou. "You fool! You probably led them right to us!"

Suddenly the room started spinning for Keito, when everything came back into focus she realized something was off. Everything around her was so big! When she turned back to Kuyou it finally became clear to her, everything wasn't big, she was small! The girl was now the size of house spider, now looking up from the edge of Kuyou's shoes.

"You've been nothing more than a tool to me, a bug I could squash at anytime. That time is now!" roared the furious Kuyou.

Keito could only look up in horror as a now four tailed Kuyou lifted his foot and brought it down on top of her. Just as she felt herself about get crushed, the world in front of her seemingly shattered, bringing her back to the real world and the face of a smirking Naruto putting his shades back on. A stunned Gin stood behind him, staring at him in disbelief.

"Did you have a nice dream?" asked the blond.

Keito's eyes fluttered for a few seconds before she passed out.

"I've got the location, now let's go." declared Naruto, as he freed the girl from her restraints and hefted her over his shoulder.

"Remind me to never get on your bad side, that Jagan is fucking scary." mumbled Gin.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"This is a bad idea." said Gin.

"Just trust me on this one." assured Naruto.

"You expect to walk right into here and what? Sit down to tea with him?" exclaimed Gin.

Naruto smirked, "No, I just plan to make sure we see eye-to-eye on a few matters. I told you Kuyou wouldn't be such a pain in the ass if he did his job correctly."

"I thought you were kidding about that!" yelled Gin.

Naruto waved off his concern, "Stop being so troublesome. We'll be out of here in under five minutes."

Gin shrugged before banging on the door in front of them, "Open up! It's Koji and Rikku! We've got the Tobi idiot!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

_(4 Minutes and 30 seconds later)_

Naruto cut loose a yawn as he exited the Public Safety Commission Headquarters. Gin followed after him through the double doors with a stunned look on his face.

"Yes, I am that good." declared Naruto.

"But, how did you do that?" exclaimed Gin.

"I dealt with much bigger and much badder Kitsune before. Plus my little mind mojo won't need to last long. And besides..." a grin spread over Naruto's face as he slipped his sunglasses back on. "The Jagan is beautiful thing."

"If I hang around you any longer, my head is going to explode. Smell ya!" said the werewolf as he vanished to parts unknown.

"Useless mutt, I did all the damn work." grumbled Naruto as he teleported via shunshin back to his dorm room where he collapsed on top of his bed. "Now I know how Kakashi-sensei used to feel. Looks like two big time illusions is my limit for now."

The blond passed out where he lay, unable to even get underneath the covers.

* * *

A/N: I was going to do a serious battle between Naruto and Kuyou, but I got carried away with Dattebayo live again and just felt it better not to throw up some half-assed fight scene at the end. Therefore the Jagan makes a resurgence! Not only practical for characters, but writers as well! Due to my decision about the fight, I'm probably going to take Kuyou's character in somewhat different direction. Next chapter will be a return to YYH world to deal with the Saint Beasts. And who knows, maybe Naruto will stumble into a Ramen's Paradise along the way. Peace Out!


	13. All Saints Day

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything

* * *

**All Saints Day**

The bell rang and everyone scrambled to get out of homeroom. Right when Naruto stood up to leave, a student walked in and handed Nekonome-sensei a note.

"Naruto, you're excused for the rest of the day. The headmaster needs you in his office." informed the feline teacher.

"Faculty approved ditch day! I rock!" yelled Naruto as he sprinted out the door.

"Lucky bastard..." grumbled the rest of the students.

_'I wonder where he'll be off to this time...'_ wondered Moka as she watched his retreating form.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The door to headmaster's office slid open and Naruto strolled inside, "You rang?"

The headmaster shook his head, "Not me."

He then pressed a button on his desk, and the doors to the cabinet off to the left of his desk slid back to reveal and enormous flat screen monitor. He turned it on, and a ticked off Koenma came into view.

"Yo! Short man! What's going on?" greeted Naruto.

Koenma exploded on him, "Don't you yo me! And where the hell is your damn communicator! I've been trying to reach you since yesterday!"

"I didn't get any calls. The damn thing is right here...Oops." Naruto started scratched his head nervously after pulling it out of his pocket, "I forgot to charge it last night."

"Of all the idiots..." Koenma mumbled a long sting of curses, which coming from a toddler was absolutely hilarious. The headmaster was able to maintain a straight face, Naruto unfortunately could not hold back his laughter.

Koenma nearly had a coronary, "THIS IS NOT FUNNY! YOU GET YOUR ASS TO THE HUMAN WORLD RIGHT NOW OR I'll HAVE YOU ON OGRE DETAIL FOR THE NEXT 50 YEARS!"

"Sir, yes sir!" saluted Naruto before his toddler boss vanished from the screen. He immediately doubled over in laughter again, "It's like a little kid having a temper tantrum, only a thousand times more hilarious."

The Headmaster shook his head, "I'll page my brother to give you a ride back to town. Anything else you need?"

Naruto scratched his head while giving him a sheepish grin, "You wouldn't happen to have a portable charger on hand, would ya?"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

After returning from the hell that was Genkai's training, Yusuke expected to have a couple days to ease back into the flow of things. It started off well, meeting with Keiko and heading off to see a movie. Then he ran into Kuwabara and all hell broke loose.

"Can't I get just one lousy fucking day!" yelled Yusuke to the skies as he kicked a guy in the face who was trying to tackle him.

"What the hell Urameshi! Every time we beat these guys down, they just get back up and even more show up! Even that shotgun trick of yours can't handle this many!" yelled Kuwabara as he and Yusuke fled down an alley, a gang of zombie-like people on their heels.

"This must be what the guy from Shaun of the Dead felt like. A bunch zombies out to get you, and your only backup is a complete moron." muttered Yusuke as they rounded a corner and turned onto a backstreet.

The two kept moving around the alleys and side streets in a zig-zagging pattern, sometimes even circling around. However, it seemed like everywhere they turned, the just picked up more pursuers.

"This isn't helping! The more we kept running, the more start chasing us! Not to mention there's a couple other weird spirit energies lurking around here..." complained Kuwabara.

_'So he's back.'_ thought Yusuke as a smirk formed on his face.

"Urameshi! Are you even listening to me!" yelled Kuwabara.

"Shut up stupid! I've got a plan, just follow me!" retorted Yusuke.

They continued on for several more minutes, a confused Kuwabara just following along as Yusuke lead them on bizarre trek through the back alleys. The redhead started to fell a little winded from all the running, but he noticed Yusuke hadn't even managed to break a sweat.

_'Man, it looks like Genkai's training paid of if more ways than one.'_ thought Kuwabara.

"Well, if the point was to get us surrounded, you've done a great job." grumbled Kuwabara as they reached a dead end.

"No, I was rounding them all up into one area. Now we've got them surrounded." said a smirking Yusuke.

"You got that right!" yelled Naruto as he descended from the rooftops.

"What the hell is one guy gonna do!" yelled Kuwabara as Naruto formed his trademark cross-shaped hand seal. Soon there was army of Naruto clones swarming the area, unleashing a colossal beat down on the wanna be zombies.

"Oh...well I guess that works." muttered a dumbfounded Kuwabara.

"Long time no see. Last time I was in these parts, I was covering for your ass while you were off training and playing grab ass with some old lady." greeted Naruto.

"It wasn't training, it was torture." muttered Yusuke as a shiver ran down his spine.

Naruto shrugged, "It's not good training if you don't stand a chance of dieing."

"Hey, you're that one weird energy, I was sensing." said Kuwabara as he looked around confused until he spotted a figure in a trench coat and hat making an escape from the alley. "Hey! There's the other one! He's getting away!"

"Not likely." assured Naruto.

Before the guy could reach freedom, Botan came around the corner of a building and leveled him with a baseball bat.

"Such lovely mix of brains, beauty, and brawn." chided Naruto.

"Stop clowning around, this small fry here is only the beginning of the trouble headed our way." scolded Botan.

Yusuke walked up to the covered man and nudged him with his foot. The body rolled over, revealing the guy to be demon.

"Who is this guy?" asked Yusuke.

"A spy of Youma City, the site of your next mission. He runs with the criminals who sent the people who tried to ambush you just now. I've been tracking him since he came through the barrier a few days ago." replied Botan.

"Hold it right there! I just came from Grandma's evil boot camp. No way in hell I'm getting sucked into another mission. I'm taking a vacation. Let Naruto handle this one." Yusuke shoved his hands into his pockets and started walking away.

"So you're just going to walk away while everyone in the city gets turned into zombies!" yelled an irate Botan.

"Yusuke, if you don't take the mission, baby-boss is just going to send you back to wherever the hell you just came from for more training." deadpanned Naruto.

This halted him in his tracks, "Dammit."

"Genkai, has nothing more to teach him right now." whispered Botan.

Naruto shrugged, "He doesn't know that."

"So, this guy came from this Youma City?" asked Yusuke, walking back towards them.

"Yes, Youma City also known as the City of Ghosts and Apparitions. That's where the criminals of the underworld go for hiding." explained Botan. "Street Youma started as a place that headquartered the activities of most high level criminal organizations. It's run by a group known as 'The Four Saint Beasts'. At some point it became a place where almost all criminals fled for shelter, however, right now it is place where no man can go."

"Why?" asked Naruto.

"The leaders have made a demand to the spirit world." answered Botan.

"What kind of demand?" asked Yusuke.

"The right to move into the human world." declared a familiar voice from behind them.

The all turned to find Hiei and Kurama arriving on the scene.

"The thieves, huh? What are you two doing here?" asked Yusuke.

"It's a deal we have with Koenma. Helping you with your missions, will clean our slate in the spirit world." replied Kurama.

"Perhaps, we shouldn't be having this conversation somewhere so out in the open." suggested Hiei.

Botan nodded in agreement, "You're right. I know a place not to far from here."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The blue haired grim reaper lead them to an abandoned warehouse a few blocks away. They entered through the backdoor and Botan lead them down to the basement.

"Yeah, the basement of some abandoned warehouse is such a much better meeting spot." complained Yusuke.

Botan swatted him in the back of the head, "They managed to create an breach in the barrier to allow transport for you to the city. That opening is in the basement of this building. Now where was I?"

"These saint guys demanded access to the human world." answered Naruto.

Botan nodded and picked up from there, "Sometime ago the Spirit World set up a barrier to prevent them from interfering with human affairs, locking them into the Makai. They want the spirit world to take down the barrier."

"What do we know about the Saint Beasts?" inquired Naruto.

"They are four of the most notoriously known criminals in the Spirit World. They were given the title saint by their followers. Years ago they were chased by a group of pursuers and evaded capture by sealing themselves inside a booby trapped fortress. Since then an entire city as formed at the base of the fortress. It's filled with vile thieves and crooks who view these beasts like gods. That is Youma City." informed Botan.

Naruto gave her a blank look, "So, we know absolutely nothing then."

Botan glared at him, "It can't be helped. The Beasts have never exited their fortress since sealing themselves inside."

"Since Spirit World hasn't out right refused, it's obvious they've got Koenma between a rock and hard place. What are they holding over his head?" questioned Yusuke.

"Those people that were chasing Yusuke and Kuwabara earlier have been infected by Makai insects. These-" started Botan only to be interrupted by Kurama. The redhead stepped forward and opened up his hand to reveal an insect he'd been holding.

"These insects are Makai Worms, a parasite that can effect and control the minds of the human population." explained the Kurama. "Normally, they would cause their hosts to have destructive impulses and the urge to kill. However, not all of the infected have been behaving in this predicted pattern. Instead of mob behavior, they are more organized and precise in their activities."

"From what we've seen so far, their actions are to get as many people infected as possible." added Hiei. "They aren't causing chaos, they're building an army. The Saint Beasts are probably preparing to make a move on the Human World regardless of what Spirit World's response is."

"So, what? We go around dosing people with bug spray?" exclaimed Naruto.

"No, the only way to stop the spread of the parasite is to destroy the Makai Whistle." informed Botan.

"A whistle?" blurted Naruto, and Yusuke simultaneously. "That's so damn corny!"

"I could have sworn this was the plot to a Legend of Zelda level. Or maybe it Super Mario 3?" mumbled Kuwabara.

Yusuke rolled his eyes, "Makai whistles, worm whistles, dog whistles, thistle whistles... all I know is that this entire deal is going to be one big pain in the ass."

"Damn straight about that." agreed Naruto.

"What the hell is a thistle whistle, Urameshi?" asked Kuwabara.

The taller redhead was ignored again as Botan supplied some more information, "If the Makai whistle is destroyed, the insects wouldn't be able to survive in the Human World. The Saint Beasts said they would hand over the whistle if the barrier was dismissed-"

"But we all know that Spirit World does not negotiate with terrorists." finished Naruto, as everybody gave him a funny look. "What? You guys miss that memo?"

"You want four guys to go to this underground criminal city and destroy this whistle? There's no way we will be able to shut down the Saint Beasts in time to put a stop to the people already infected. They could cause some major damage before we even get close to that thing." asserted Yusuke. "Don't you people have teams of soldiers for this kind of thing?"

"Hey, there are five of us here Urameshi." reminded Kuwabara.

"We need to split up." suggested Kurama. "One of us will have to stay in the Human world to keep the infected at bay, while the others go to Maze Castle to neutralize the threat."

"Yusuke, Naruto, and I should be more than enough to handle the Saint Beasts." declared Hiei. "Kurama will be enough to neutralize whatever threat is here."

"There are five of us here!" yelled Kuwabara.

Hiei snorted, "You should go home before you get yourself killed."

"You should worry about yourself. A small fry like you might bite more than he can chew." retorted Kuwabara.

"Okay! That's it!" exclaimed Naruto as he got in Kuwabara's face. "From now on, whenever I am in the same room as you, you're definitely not allowed to talk."

"Same applies here." added Hiei.

Suddenly flower petals started to fall around Kuwabara as cheesy superhero music started to play in the background, "We all know I can see spiritual stuff way better than Yusuke. There's just no way I'm going to sit around at my house while Yusuke doesn't see things and let's big monsters and insects take over my city. Cause I'm Kuwabara and in case you guys forgot, I've got a sword!"

They are stared at him blankly for several seconds before Naruto erupted, "Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! He's done it! He's done it! In an unprecedented performance! I mean literally out of nowhere, Kazuma Kuwabara was become THE MOST ANNOYING MAN, IN THE WORLD! Who would have thought a journeyman annoyer like Kuwabara could pull this off... "

"My speech was freaking awesome..." grumbled Kuwabara under his breath.

Hiei snorted, "Yeah, for the mentally incompetent."

"WHY YOU LITTLE-" Kuwabara jumped at Hiei, screaming at the top of his lungs, but the rant was cut off by Yusuke stepping in front of him and looking him square in the eye.

"That's enough Kuwabara. Just shut up and go along with the plan." stated Yusuke firmly. "I'm sure Kurama will be fine having you help him defend the city."

"Come on urameshi-" started an exasperated Kuwabara, only to be cut off by Yusuke again.

"Kuwabara!" Yusuke didn't raise his voice much, but his tone got the point across.

"Fine! I'd rather stay here with the pretty girl anyway." muttered Kuwabara.

He quickly found his face embedded in the floor, courtesy of Naruto's fist.

"Watch out! The breach in the barrier is hidden underneath one of these floor tiles!" warned Botan.

"I get no respect." moaned Kuwabara.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Just outside the city of Ghosts and Apparitions, a flash of yellow light appeared over a rocky area, depositing Yusuke, Naruto, and Hiei onto the ground. In the distance the trio could see a massive structure towering of the city of Ghosts and Apparitions.

"Is that it?" asked Naruto.

"Yes, that's the fortress of the four saint beasts, also known as Maze Castle." replied Hiei.

The moment he finished saying this, a few dozen creatures in hooded cloaks with glowing eyes, fangs and claws started popping up out of the ground.

"I smell something tasty!"

"One of them is a human!"

"Finally a decent meal!"

"Let's eat!"

Hiei snorted, "Foolish creatures. We're not in the pathetic human world anymore. There's no reason suppress our power so much. We should at least let them have a glimpse of who their dealing with."

The three sported impassive faces as they let some of the hold over their energy slip. Immediately all the ghouls turned and high tailed it out of there. Yusuke, Naruto, and Hiei started making their way towards Maze castle as if nothing just happened.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Within Maze Castle, the Saint Beasts had taken notice of the intruders into their territory.

"It's been a while since we've had visitors."

"Isn't only three of them. They aren't even worthy of our attention."

"What say you, Master Suzaku?"

"Byakko is correct. A team of two demons and a human? I doubt they even make it past the front door."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"They really rolled out the welcome mat for us." stated Naruto as they reached the ominous looking entrance.

Yusuke smacked his fist into his palm, "No pain, no gain! Let's roll!"

Hiei said nothing as entered the tunnel like entrance. The only made it a few steps before being approached by a strange creature who's purple body consisted a single eyeball centered between two bat wings.

"Welcome to Maze Castle. The one who wishes to enter this castle must first be tried by the gate of betrayal." announced the creature.

"A trial?" questioned a puzzled Naruto.

The creature suddenly darted over to a switch on the side of the wall, causing the ceiling above them to fall down. The three all raised their arms above their head to prevent themselves from being crushed.

"Dammit." cursed the trio.

"This door is very sensitive and quite tricky. It is able to detect the strength of the people supporting it and apply the greatest pressure possible without crushing them outright." stated the creature. "As soon as one person slacks it will then completely fall to the ground. If one person betrays the rest and escapes, the rest will be crushed. If everyone remains, the eventually you will tire and you will all be crushed. Only betrayers have the right to enter this castle. So who's going to live and who's going to die? Hahahaha!"

"Who's going to die? How about you?"

The creature turned to the left in shock, only for its eye to instantly be sliced open by a kunai. The team stood there with smug looks while the Naruto, Yusuke, and Hiei beneath the ceiling all revealed themselves to be shadow clones before dispelling. The ceiling collapsed with a massive thud.

"That trap was child's play." yawned Naruto.

Hiei shook his head, "Even the booby trap on the switch was completely blatant."

"If I knew this place was going be so pathetic, I wouldn't have even bothered showing up." stated Naruto.

"Tell your masters if they must submit to me if they want their lives spared." Hiei yelled at the creature as it fluttered away in retreat.

Naruto snorted, "Yeah, they should just give up. I've got much better things to do."

Yusuke rolled his eyes, "Yeah, like what?"

Naruto gained a far off look in his eye, "I could think of a few things..."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

(Deep voiced Radio Announcer guy)

"Now back to Dattebayo Live. Here's Gin and filling in for Naruto, it's the King of the Dojo, Haji Miyamoto!"

"Welcome back to Dattebayo Live everybody. I would like to thank the great Naruto once again for choosing me as the #1 Fill-in host." stated Haji.

"And I'm going to kick his ass once he get's back for doing it." grumbled Gin.

"You wish mutt-boy. Now onto the segment you've all been waiting for, the Tobi Report!" announced Haji.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

(The scene shifts to Tobi at as news desk)

"Hey! What the dattebayo is goin' on people! This is the man, the myth, the legend himself, Tobi! Today's Tobi report is a special Dattebayo Live Music spotlight. Since the success of being a radio air personality from back in the day and later going on to release his independent album, Ludacris has inspired other radio jocks to pursue careers in Hip-Hop. Meet Royuya Li Quan aka Ms. Ro Quarters, a 62-year-old Korean air personality from KPOW in Los Angeles, California. Tobi was granted the opportunity to get the dattebayo from Ms. Quarters about her upcoming album and here's what she had to say."

(Scene shifts to Tobi in an interview with Ms. Ro Quarters)

"Yeah, so people keep asking, 'Why Ro Quarters, why Ro Quarters, a 62-year-old mothafuckin g, wanna make an album, that's all. You know what? The truth is I've been thinking about doin' this shit since, you know, back when I came over from Korea when I was forty. So I figured, hey fuck this shit. Ima just go ahead and just do the damn thing, just go ahead and do the damn thing. So, here's the first single off my new album, Get Him Hard, Or Die Tryin!' Ya'll feelin' that mothafuckas? Feel that bitches. It's called, 'Hit that Viagra Please!' Now feel that mothafuckas! Ya'll hoes gonna love this shit! Hey, ya'll holla back at a bitch alright! And you know what I'm always sayin my bitches: If you tired of that punk asshole 50 cent, you can always get on Ms. Quarters! Peace out bitches!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

At Kurama's request, he, Botan, and Kuwabara were making their way across town to Urahara-shoten.

"Why aren't we out patrolling the city or something? Shouldn't we be trying to make sure infected people don't cause too much trouble?" asked a confused Kuwabara.

"No, now that Hiei, Yusuke, and Naruto have headed for Maze castle, the Saint Beasts will step up whatever their plans are here in the human world. They will treat the arrival of two spirit detectives as the Spirit World denying their request." responded Kurama.

Botan nodded in agreement, "We'll need to find away to counteract their recruiting drive. The makai insects tend to thrive best, in the most corrupt of individuals. They seek those kinds of people out over all others. Luckily for us, the majority of people in this city don't seem to take to them."

"That may be true, but the makai whistle can used to have them take control of just about anyone if the beast desire it to happen. There may be away to negate the whistle's control over the insects, if only temporarily." said Kurama.

"What's that?" asked Kuwabara.

"There is a plant native to the demon world called viconite. The Makai insects will swarm to feast on this plant like bees to honey." answered Kurama.

"So that's why you want to see Urahara-san." realized Botan.

Kurama nodded, "Yes, I'm hoping he can provide us some or at the very least know how to retrieve some quickly."

"Eh, I still say we should just go around and bash some heads in." said Kuwabara.

Both Botan and Kurama sweat-dropped while thinking, _'I'm starting to think they were right about that no talking rule.'_

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

(Maze Castle- With the Saint Beasts)

"They managed to pass the gate of betrayal, Master Suzaku. What shall we do?"

"Do not worry Seiryu. This only means we'll have a little more entertainment for the time being. They are nothing more than naive fools. The blond one thinks this place is pathetic and Hiei believes he can make us submit to him. Someone go down and play with them."

"Hiei dares to believe and he force us to beg for mercy! I'll crush them where they stand!"

"No, I shall show these fools the true perils of Mase Castle. The mighty Genbu shall bring you their corpses immediately! I'll stick their heads on pikes at the top of the tower as message to all spirit world! Hahahaha!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"They weren't kidding about the maze part of maze castle." groaned Naruto. "When are we going to actually have to fight someone?"

The trio had simply been walking around the winding passages that lead from the entrance, looking for a set of stairs to take them upwards.

Yusuke shrugged, "Well if this place holds true to its Bowser's castle form, we'll probably have to face the first boss to get up the stairs."

Hiei snorted, "So, much for the fortress of the great saint beasts. A mere human child could tell you how to defeat it."

"Do you even know what these guys look like?" Yusuke asked Hiei.

The dark haired demon chuckled, "Kurama said that Spirit World intelligence simply forgot this place existed after the barrier was erected. That's why that girl couldn't give you any information on them at all. Let's just say their appearances may be quite shocking."

"More horrifying than you could even imagine! Hahahaha!" bellowed slightly raspy deep voice.

"So, one of you finally came out to play." taunted Yusuke.

"The door to your right, please take it." commanded the voice.

"Finally some action." exclaimed Naruto as he slammed open the iron double doors.

The room was illuminated by only a few torches, the majority of it hidden in darkness. In the back a spiraling stairway leading upwards could be seen. Hiei pulled a torch off the wall and tossed it out into the open, lighting up the largest part of the room. Both Yusuke and Naruto were slightly shocked by the sight of the creature before them. The mammoth sized beast was composed entirely of rocks. He had turtle-style shell protecting his back, spikes on top of his head, and a long stone tail hanging out behind him.

"Welcome trespassers! Hahaha!" laughed the creature.

"It's a big rock." said Yusuke with a dumbfounded expression.

"It's a really really big rock." added Naruto, a similar expression on his face.

"I am Genbu of the four saint beasts." announced Genbu. "Any last request before I rip you limb from limb?"

"Yeah, tell me how a beast can be a saint." retorted Yusuke. "And I've heard of pet rocks, but talking rocks?"

"A really, really, really big talking rock." added Naruto.

"This is the only set of stairs leading up to the tower. You can defeat me and go up there on your own, or I can drag you there once you've stopped breathing." bellowed Genbu as he smacked his tail against the floor, creating a giant crater. "Perhaps all three you should attack me at the same time so the last one standing won't feel lonely!"

Before anyone else could react, Naruto created five shadow clones and sent them at Genbu.

"We're going grind you into dust!" declared the clones.

"Watch out! His tail is doing something freaky!" yelled Yusuke as Genbu's tail somehow sunk into ground.

Genbu's tail shot out of the ground from behind the clones, managing to destroy three of them via slashes to the back while the others dodged out of the way.

Genbu starting laughing as his tail retracted back to his body, "Hahahaha! Thanks to my body structure, I can become one with any type of rock. With a little rearranging, I can make any stone one of my limbs. Since this whole chamber is made of stone, I have you surrounded! There is no where to run!"

"Did he just reveal all of his abilities completely unprovoked?" questioned Naruto. "Well, he's definitely as dumb as rock."

"You have yet to see the full extent of my power! Perhaps then you won't be so cocky!" declared Genbu as his entire body sunk into the stone floor.

Yusuke snorted, "Now what? A game of hide and seek?"

The spirit detective was forced to leap backwards as Genbu's arm shot up out of the ground in the spot where he was previously standing. Naruto and Hiei did likewise, avoiding the stone beasts arm and tail.

"I can cut through stone, no problem. I just need you guys to draw his body out." said Naruto while he dropped back into shadows. He summoned forth some fuuma shuriken and activated his electrical powers.

"Child's play." declared Hiei as he turned on the speed. The dark haired fire demon blurred around the stone chamber, leaving several after images in his wake. Genbu sent limb after limb after limb after him to no avail. Despite having the element of unpredictability, Genbu couldn't compete with Hiei's speed.

"Hey Ugly! Forget about me?" taunted Yusuke.

Frustrated from his inability to catch Hiei, Genbu fully emerged to go after Yusuke, "I'll crush you!"

Inches away from Yusuke, Genbu's arm was sliced off his body by a sparking fuuma shuriken. Simultaneously five other super charged fuuma shurikens cut through his body, head, and limbs before moments later six other shurikens hidden in the shadows of the originals sliced him to even smaller pieces as well. The chunks of stone that were formerly his body all thudded against the ground. Naruto dismissed his clones as the trio gathered at the pile of rubble that was Genbu.

"What pathetic creature." muttered Hiei. "If this is the caliber of the Saint Beasts, that fool Kuwabara could have handled this mission on his own."

Naruto chuckled, "Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves."

"Why not!" shouted Genbu's voice from the pile of rocks.

They all watched, stunned as the pile of stones started shaking as Genbu's body pieced itself back together.

"Hahahaha! You guys can slice my body up all you like, but I'll just reassemble every time." taunted Genbu as his body reached down and put his head back on. "Actually, it makes for a very nice attack! **Horizontal Boulder Explosion!**"

Genbu stretched his arms forward, firing them along with his head as projectiles at Hiei. The fire demon unsheathed his sword as he vanished in blur, slicing and dicing the launched body parts into even smaller pieces than before.

"Sliced his head up, now let's see him come back from that!" exclaimed Yusuke.

"This is nothing!" bellowed Genbu as his body reassembled itself again. "Surrender and I'll make your end swift! You can't defeat me!"

**"Horizontal Boulder Explosion!"** shouted Genbu as he started rapid firing baseball sized stones. Naruto created a swarm of clones to distract the rock monster while the trio dropped back to form a plan.

"There's probably a portion of his body that allows him to reassemble himself. The only problem is finding it would be like picking a needle out of a haystack." said Hiei.

"Well, screw precision." declared Naruto. "Let's just brute force it. Keep his attention away from me for a couple minutes."

"Not another one of your crazy schemes..." groaned Yusuke.

"Trust me, this is a lot better than that Gouki plan." assured Naruto.

Naruto dropped back into the shadows of the room with a clone. He held his palm out and a red ball of energy started to form, the clone aiding in in creating the technique. Hiei turned the speed back on, flashing around the chamber amongst the remaining canon fodder clones. Genbu foolishly abandoned his hiding technique, arrogantly staying in plain sight as he tried to stone his enemies to death.

"You efforts are useless! Just Die! **Horizontal Boulder Explosion!**" Genbu released his entire torso as a barrage of stone projectiles. He successfully eliminated the rest of the free floating clones while Yusuke and Hiei remained unscathed.

"You can't run forever!" bellowed Genbu as his body reassembled.

"You shouldn't have stopped running." taunted Hiei as he blurred in existence momentarily by Genbu, causing the stone beast to turn around and meet an incoming Naruto head on.

**"Makyo Odama Rasengan! (Demonic Great Ball Rasengan)" **A massive red colored rasengan nailed Genbu, grinding the stone of his body down to nothing in the process. After grinding halfway through, the remainder of Genbu's body suddenly pulsed before disintegrating into nothing. Yusuke and even Hiei were shocked by the destructive power of the attack, as after Naruto released it, it carried on and destroyed several walls of the castle.

_'I've seen him use the small version of that thing, for him to manage something like that...'_ thought Hiei.

Yusuke's eyes were bugging out of his head, _'He wasn't kidding when he said he'd lost a lot of power before...'_

"Look's like you were right Hiei, he fell apart halfway through the attack." stated Naruto, somewhat short of breath.

Hiei smirked, "You just wasted all you energy in that attack."

"Not all of it." wheezed Naruto. "A little less than half."

"Whatever, let's get going. We've wasted enough time here." said Hiei.

"I hope the next guy is more of a real fight and less of a pain in the ass." said Yusuke.

Naruto snorted, "Regardless of how hard they are to beat, every single one of the bastards is guaranteed to be a pain the ass."

* * *

A/N: Ah! Another update for the masses. I'm on a bit of a roll right now with the updates, let's see how long I can keep it going. Now to go hunt for some food...


	14. All Saints Day II

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything

**Recap-** After splitting up with Kuwabara and Kurama, the remaining members of the detective squad plunged headlong into Maze Castle. They eventually squared off with the first Saint Beast, Genbu the rock monster. The stone beast employed his entire body as a weapon and working together the trio managed to quickly overcome the monster, thanks to Naruto's new demonically enhanced version of the Rasengan. With one beast down, the trio now heads deeper into horrors of Maze Castle.

* * *

**All Saints Day II**

Despite the fall of Genbu, the remaining Saint Beasts were not troubled by the progress of their intruders.

"It's seems that Genbu has gone and gotten himself killed Master Suzaku."

"You shouldn't be so troubled Seiryu, Genbu was the weakest among us. His only usefulness was his ability to communicate to the demons of the city through the walls."

"His defeat has tarnished the name of the saint beasts. The intruders cannot be allowed to progress any further Master."

"Their end is near, I'll tear them to shreds! These intruders will not escape the hunt of Byakko!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

As the two redheads and grim reaper arrived at Urahara-Shoten, they found another redhead making a ruckus right outside the shop, "Hanakari breaks free with the ball! He's one on one with goalie, he shoots, GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL! Jinta Hanakari with an amazing shot!"

Jinta's celebratory dance and play-by-play call was interrupted by a fit of giggles. A scowl formed on his face as he turned to face the giggling Botan and snickering Kuwabara and Kurama.

"What the hell do you want?" snapped Jinta.

"Jinta, you're not supposed to be rude to customers." reminded Ururu as she poked her head out the door.

"They're not customers, they're a bunch of freeloaders!" exclaimed Jinta as he started shooing them away with his broom. "Now go on! Get out of here!"

Out of nowhere Tessai appeared, picking up the boy by the scruff of his neck, "You're supposed to be sweeping up the shop, not sweeping away customers. You can help me stock the new inventory."

"Ah, man..." groaned Jinta as he was dragged away.

"Come on in!" called out Urahara from inside the shop.

The three strolled inside the shop to find Urahara sitting on the counter next to the register, a video game in hand.

"Urahara-san." greeted Kurama.

"Who's the weird guy in the funny looking hat?" asked Kuwabara.

Botan rolled her eyes, "You're just as bad as Yusuke. That is Lord Kisuke, Lord Koenma's brother."

"You don't work for me, none of that lord stuff." chided Kisuke.

"But he's baby, and this guy is so old..." muttered a confused Kuwabara.

"I'm assuming your here about that pesky little problem with the Makai insects across town." said Urahara, not looking up from his game.

"We've sent Yusuke, Hiei, and Naruto to Maze Castle to destroy the Makai whistle, but we still need to do something to contain people already infected in the city. From their activities it appears the saint beasts have someone in the Human world aiding them in infecting as many people as possible before they make their move. Once the beasts realize that Hiei, Naruto, and Yusuke are a significant threat, they will unleash a counter-strike here in the Human World using the infected. This is why myself and Kuwabara have stayed behind." explained Kurama.

"So what's your plan?" asked Kisuke.

"I was hoping to acquire some viconite, use it to lure all the infected and the roaming Makai insects into one area where could keep them contained until the beasts are neutralized."

"Viconite, huh?" muttered Kisuke, finally putting his game down. "I don't have any, but you've just given me an idea of where you can get some. Let's head down to the lab."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Yusuke, Naruto, and Hiei continued their monotonous trek up the tower, making small talk and battle plans along the way.

"So, how are we going to play this going forward?" asked Yusuke.

"What do you mean?" replied Naruto.

"Well, there are three of us and three Saint Beasts left. Should we each take one?" suggested Yusuke.

Naruto shrugged uncertainly, "It depends on how they come after us. If they're going to keep facing us one by one instead of all at once, then no. We have a time limit, so the three on one fights work to our advantage."

"I doubt they attempt to face it all at once. Their arrogance wouldn't allow it and going forward I doubt the others will be as easy as Genbu. One on one fights are to their advantage. We use our numbers to our advantage until we can't anymore." added Hiei.

Suddenly a deep grumbling roar shook the tower.

**"GGGRRAAAAAAHHHHH!"**

"What the hell was that!" exclaimed Naruto.

Hiei's eyes narrowed, "Byakko."

**"GGGRRAAAHHHHHH!"**

Cracks started to form in the stone walls and the ceiling tiles began to crumble sending debris to the floor.**  
**

Naruto eyes darted around, watching the passageway begin to come apart the seems, "This place doesn't look like it can take to much more of this."

"Let's go." commanded Yusuke as the three streaked up the last bit of the passageway, the ceiling quickly collapsing behind them. They turned up the final set of stairs and out the final opening of the tower to an outdoor platform. A wide elevated stone path way led from the tower, looking down from the sides you couldn't even see the ground it was so far down below. On the shorter pathway leading from the platform to the main portion of the compound stood the gargutaun white tiger, Byakko in all his glory.

"Byakko." muttered Hiei again at the sight of him. The second saint beast was a huge humanoid white tiger with teal stripes, standing several meters tall. Two large fangs jutted out from the bottom of his mouth and his green mane extended down to his upper back. He sported a green and red fur tunic with legwarmers. He let out a low growl as his tail thwacked against the ground behind him, creating a small crater.

"Pests will pay for coming this far into my territory." sneered Byakko before he let out another roar, this one not quite as intense as his previous ones, but still enough to put the group on edge.

"Just great, this guy can use the sound from his voice as weapon." complained Yusuke.

"Wish I'd brought some earplugs." grumbled Naruto.

"I can't believe you insignificant weaklings have forced me to come all the way out here!" snarled Byakko. "Don't be fooled by your victory over that weakling Genbu. This is the end of the line for you. Genbu was nothing! The only reason we didn't kill him ourselves is because he could communicate with the demons in the city by growling through the castle walls."

"Are they all this fucking huge?" muttered Yusuke, ignoring Byakko.

"He's got good size, but I've battled with and against beasts bigger than the size of a house." said Naruto. "More importantly he looks like he can still move pretty good despite all that size, he is a tiger after all."

Byakko continued building up a head of steam as he ranted, "I am a real beast! It's maddening enough that I've been locked up in this compound for all this time without the taste of human flesh. No prey, no bones, no blood! Then they have the nerve to send a human and a pair of betrayers in hope of destroying us!"

"I could really go those ear plugs right about now." grumbled Naruto again.

"Human trash! I will tear you apart and eat you myself!" bellowed Byakko. "Hiei! I will rip you and this other fool to shreds and feed you to the fugaki!"

"This other fool has a name you know..." complained Naruto.

**"GGGRRAAAHHHHHH!"**

Byakko unleashed another stone shattered roar, this one reducing the wide open platform to a narrow pathway leading out to a circular area.

"Not just any weapon, his voice can shatter solid rock, just perfect." groaned Naruto.

Yusuke asked the question floating at the top of their heads, "So, how are we going to kick this guy's ass?"

"Someone will have to occupy his attention while the others send him down." stated Hiei.

Naruto grinned as caught on to what Hiei was thinking, "Giant tiger beast sitting on a tiny platform."

"They're almost making this one too easy for us." added a smirking Yusuke.

"Byakko's roar is no joke. It's going to take something that really packs a punch to take this thing down." advised Hiei.

Naruto pulled short stack of explosive tags out of his pocket and handed half of them to Hiei, "Urahara's special brand of Spirit World high grade explosive notes. Never leave home without at least fifty."

"I'll keep him busy, while you guys get this place ready to blow." stated Yusuke as he started walking forward.

"You'll know when." called out Naruto.

"What are you doing over there? Chanting a few prayers before you die! Hahahaha!" mocked Byakko.

"No, we were deciding who gets to fight you." replied a smug Yusuke. "None of us wanted to chance ruining our reputations by letting it be known that we would fight with such a weakling. I drew the short straw."

Byakko gave him a puzzled stare, "You couldn't possibly believe a single human can defeat me?"

"Those two would be overkill on a guy like you." retorted Yusuke as he walked across the narrow pathway and stopped on the larger side of the platform.

Byakko glared at him and his facials muscles twitched as if he was about to explode with another roar until he suddenly broke out in laughter, "Please! Enough! I can't stay angry if you make me laugh!"

"Hey! Stop laughing and get down here so I can kick your ass!" yelled Yusuke.

Byakko disregarded his challenge, "Please, I don't even need to move from this spot to defeat you."

Yusuke snorted in disbelief, "Yeah right."

Byakko plucked some hairs from his mane, started blowing on them. His breath infused them with spirit has energy as they suddenly shot out his hand and into the air where they transformed into four, green furred four-legged beasts. The four beasts all landed with a thud in front of Yusuke.

"Kuwabara's really missing out, he'd love to play with all these kittens." joked Yusuke.

Byakko was not amused, "You will learn to fear me prey! Beasts attack!"

"No! Decepticons Attack!" called out Yusuke as he kicked it into gear. He ducked under a beast trying to pounce on top of him before unleashing a flying kick at another. The blow nailed the beast in the side, but only sent it skidding back a few meters.

"Damn these things are tough." grunted Yusuke, as he leaned back to dodge a claw swipe. Tapping into more of his spirit energy he leaped behind one of the beasts, grabbed it by its tail, and started spinning around in a circles for several rotations before flinging the beast into two others. He then barely dodged an attack from the fourth beast, receiving a gash in the front of his shirt as a result. The beasts quickly regrouped and started trying to circle around Yusuke.

"Do you really thing those pathetic moves will save you! You should have your friends join you and attack all at once if you want to have a hope of surviving!" taunted Byakko.

"We're fine right here." replied Hiei.

"Yusuke's got it covered." added Naruto. "You're beasts haven't even done any damage."

"Yeah, but with four of them it's hard to get on the attack." muttered Yusuke.

Not wanting to get stuck being attacked from all sides, Yusuke slipped his hand behind his back as he drifted towards the left edge of the platform.

"There's no where to run trash! A few more steps and you plummet to your death!" mocked Byakko. "Beasts attack!"

The snarling beasts all tried to pounce the dark haired spirit detective, but he was ready for them. Yusuke thrust forward the hand from behind his back that was now glowing with spirit energy.

**"Shotgun!" **The beasts couldn't stand up to the attack. All were vaporized by short ranged bursts of spirit energy bullets.

"I wasn't running, I was lining them up." said a smirking Yusuke. "Your move Tigger."

Byakko growled in frustration, "You will not make a mockery me, you are my prey! You make me so angry! I'll kill you myself!"

Yusuke rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah, just bounce your big ass right down here, Tigger."

"Fool!" yelled Byakko as he leaped from his position and landed down on the platform with a massive thud.

Yusuke let of a whistle of amusement, "Would you look at that. You're even bigger up close, but you could stand to cut back on the cold cuts though."

"You're little spirit pistol is no match for me! If that's all you've got going for you, you're done for!" bellowed Byakko.

"Oh, he's got lot more than that!" called Naruto from behind Byakko.

As the second Saint Beast turned around to face him, the blond flung a stone with a tag wrapped around it at Byakko's chest. The minute the stone hit his chest, the tag glowed and tons of massive coils of ninja wire erupted from it, wrapping around the white tiger. The bound beast fell face first to the platform with a massive thud. The Naruto and Hiei standing on the other platform vanished in puffs of smoke, revealing themselves to have been shadow clones. Yusuke made sure to step on the back of Byakko's head on his way across the platform, "It's been fun Tigger, but we're on a bit of time limit here, so we're going to have to cut this short."

He leaped up to the part of the passageway leading to the main compound, joining Naruto and Hiei. They all started towards the doorway when Naruto turned back that the last second.

"Oh, yeah! Almost forgot the best part! The name's Naruto Uzumaki, you overgrown furball! Kai!" The connections to the platform exploded, sending Byakko and the large slab of stone hurtling down to the ground below.

"And another one bites the dust." said Yusuke.

Hiei snorted, "How fools like these have evaded capture for so long, I'll never know."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Back at Kisuke's lab, the bucket hat wearing scientist sat down at the main console and starting punching in some commands. Kuwabara drifted off the side away from everyone, amazed by all the high tech gadgetry. He turned to wander off even farther when suddenly the hologram of Sara, the computer AI, phased into existence in front of him.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Ahhhh! Freaky Computer Ghost girl!" shrieked Kuwabara as he dove for cover.

"Hello, Kisuke." greeted Sara, her tone showing how thoroughly pleased she was with scaring the crap out of Kuwabara.

Kisuke chuckled, "Never gets old."

"A little warning would have been nice." mumbled Kuwabara as he stood up, dusting off his pants.

"Sara, please bring up a map of the city and then overlay it with the movement patterns of the Makai insect energy signatures." ordered Kisuke.

The screen rotated and shifted, pulling up the desired map as Sara shifted another layer on top of it that marked the insects movements.

"What are you looking for?" asked Kurama.

"I'm almost positive that if the entry point for the Makai insects is where I think it is, then I know both who is working with the Saint Beasts and where you can get your hands on the viconite." answered Kisuke.

Kurama caught on quickly, "You believe this person used the viconite to attract and manipulate the swarms of the Makai insects once they came through the barrier. Instead of having to haphazardly search through random people for ideal infection candidates, this person has been herding them into areas where there were the ideal humans ripe for the picking. It's why they've been able to accumulate so many infected people. Furthermore he's been using the plants to manipulate those who've already been the infected. It's why there's been a minimal amount of chaos and haphazard violence around town."

"This guy is a low level demon who was able to slip back and forth across the barrier unnoticed. He's taking orders in exchange for something valuable." added Botan.

"It's looks like I was right. Sara zoom in on 1342 West 42nd Street." commanded Kisuke.

"Zooming in on location, establishment known as 'Jacques' Pawn Shop'." she replied.

"What the hell! You're telling me the hub of all the demon bugs is a Pawn Shop!"exclaimed Kuwabara.

Kisuke chuckled, "This is no ordinary pawnshop."

"He must have been hiding out in France previously. He forgot to switch to a local name." added a snickering Kurama.

"Oh, you know him too?" asked Kisuke, a hint of mirth in his voice.

"Well, when I just a low level thief back in the demon world, he was an easy means to quick sale. Could get him to buy goods a double price when he first started out." replied Kurama.

Kisuke grinned, "Oh, he hasn't changed much!"

"Who the hell are you guys talking about!" yelled an irritated Kuwabara.

Kurama merely waved a hand at him, "You'll meet him soon enough."

"Always leaving me out of the loop..." grumbled Kuwabara.

"Botan, could you stay here with Sara monitoring their movements?" asked Kisuke. "Once Naruto and the other make some serious headway at Maze Castle, the infected will receive their marching orders for a counter assault."

Botan nodded her head in agreement, "Sure, I can handle that. I'll check in with the boys soon, to see how far they've gotten."

"Excellent! Now let's go shopping! Tessai, pull the van around front!" exclaimed Kisuke.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

A short time later the Urahara Shoten company van pulled up at a nondescript building on the other side of town. A banner saying 'Jacques Pawn Shop' hand been hung across the front, covering the old Kanji marking the place as a thrift store.

"Remind me again, why we are at a pawn shop?" questioned Kuwabara, as he hopped out of the van.

Kurama patted him on the shoulder, "The owner's a strange fellow, always loosing his head."

"You can say that again." muttered Kisuke as walked up to the front door. He clamped one hand over his hat as he strolled up to the door with his cane and kicked it wide open. "Jeebs! How's business!"

A ratty looking, dark haired man emerged from the back and only one thing came to mind as he saw the grinning faces of Kurama, Kisuke, and Tessai, "Well...shit."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Well, it looks like things are all quiet on this end for the moment. Those three should have made enough of a ruckus by now to cause some sort of response..." contemplated Botan. "I should see what's going on."

When she went to pull out the compact mirror communicator, she found she still had two of them, "Oh no! I forgot to give the other to Yusuke!"

"Kisuke has a direct line to Detective Uzumaki's communicator." offered Sara.

Botan narrowed her eyes at this, "Why? He doesn't work for him."

"Detective Uzumaki has been running background checks on students and faculty members at his school." replied Sara.

Botan rolled her eyes, "I told Lord Koenma not to order him to watch 'real cop' shows as training. Go ahead and make the call."

"Hey baby." said Naruto as he appeared on the screen.

"Hey baby? Do I look like Lord Koenma to you!" yelled Botan.

"Hey babe?" replied Naruto, hesitantly.

Botan's glared intensified, "That's all you have to say?"

Naruto gave her an even more confused look before responding, "Hey babe, you're looking especially fine today?"

"Give me that, Casanova!" yelled Yusuke as he snatched the communicator from Naruto. "What do you need, Botan?"

"How about, I don't know, a status report?" snapped an annoyed Botan.

"We've beaten two Saint Beasts already. They both actually went down pretty easy." replied Yusuke with a chuckle.

Botan raised an eyebrow at this, "That's surprising."

Yusuke snorted, "Yeah, maybe these guys aren't as dangerous as you made them out to be. All the years of be locked up in the attic made them go soft."

"No, I meant that they haven't made any sort of counter move with you guys making such good time." A loud rumbling sound in the background interrupted her train of thought, "What's going on there?"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"We're gonna have to call you back, Botan. The beast we thought we just killed ain't actually dead." said Naruto as he snatched back his communicator and shut it down.

**"GRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"**

Byakko's booming laughter echoed throughout the passageway the stood in, as the room quaked violently.

"Oh come on! Why isn't he dead yet!" yelled Yusuke.

"I'm not that easy to dispose of human. You three are proving to be very interesting prey!" bellowed Byakko.

Naruto snorted, "Yeah, and you are proving to not know how annoying the sound of your own voice is."

"Silly fool. As reward for your battle prowess, I'm inviting you into my lair, a room of hell!" declared Byakko.

"I seriously doubt that." contested Hiei. "Let's go."

The three made their way to and through a large iron double door that lead to rocky tunnel. The tunnel ended at a massive cavern, the bottom filled with lava and several small stone platforms shooting up out of the lava littered the room. In the center of it all was Byakko.

Yusuke raised an eyebrow at the setup of Byakko's lair, "Looks like they're channeling their inner Mario Bros again. A lava pit complete with a Bowser wanna be."

Byakko let out a booming laugh, "So, who's going to face me? Will it be you again human? Or perhaps you Hiei! Uzumaki, you look like you're spoiling for a fight! Maybe, you should all engage me at once again, it worked well for you last time."

Naruto gave Hiei a questioning look, "Are you getting this?"

"Yes, I'm picking up some sort of deception from him..." replied Hiei.

"This guy fell I don't how many stories and he's no worse for wear. We're going to need some major thump to get the kill shot." said Yusuke.

"The two of us should be able to navigate this pit sufficiently and your shotgun technique worked well on those monsters of his." stated Hiei.

"Alright, Yusuke you hang back, we'll set up him up for the kill shot." affirmed Naruto, before he remembered something. "Please tell me you can do more than one shot a day now?"

"What the hell do you think all that torture that old hag put me through was for!" snapped Yusuke.

Naruto raised his hands in a placating manner, "Easy! Easy! I didn't know! Either way, don't waste too much ammo, we've got two more of these bastards after this one is cooked."

"Make sure you don't miss either." added Hiei.

Yusuke smirked, "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"And here I was thinking you were actually starting to like him." chided Naruto.

Hiei let out an indignant snort, "Yeah right. I'll probably be the one having to drag both your unconscious bodies out of this dump."

"Well, I guess I'll just go ahead and thank you in advance. I'm quite sure if the Kuwabara guy was with us, you'd leave us all behind." repliec Naruto.

Hiei smirked, "I'd be doing the world a favor. Your sacrifice in the matter would be duly noted."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Back at Jacques pawn shop, intense negotiations were underway.

"We know you have information and product Jeebs. Now spill." commanded Kisuke.

"Now hold on a minute. Even, if I did know something or have something, it's going to cost you." demanded Jeebs.

"You want something in return?" replied Kisuke as he gave a look to Tessai. "Tessai and I are part of a crosstown tandem dance troup. Should we should him the new routine?"

"Certainly!" responded Tessai.

"Now wait a minute, I didn't want-" started Jeebs, but it was too late as Kisuke started dancing.

"Mmm! Yeah!" said Kisuke as he glided over to the counter in front of Jeebs, twirling his cane along the way. He started rocking back and forth before suddenly bringing the cane high above his head and slamming it down into the glass display cases, shattering them all. He then spun around slammed his cane into a tall display of electronic devices.

"Stop it! Stop that!" yelled Jeebs, but it was to no avail as Tessai started doing the funky chicken, before picking up a wooden pole and slamming into the wall on the left side of the room, bringing down several shelves of merchandise.

"Hey!" shouted Jeebs as Tessai picked up the pole, shimmied to the other side of the room and took down the shelves on that wall as well. "Stop! Just Stop! The Saint Beasts are trying to move in on the Human World. Using Makai insects to try and demand a ransom from spirit world!"

Kisuke let out a sigh, "Come on Jeebs we know that already. You'll have to do better than that."

"I swear that's all I know. Now get out of my shop!" yelled Jeebs.

Urahara gave a nod toward Kurama, "Kurama, go ahead."

"With pleasure." replied Kurama as he pulled a rose from his pocket and summoned forth his rose whip. With a flick of his wrist, the whip was coiled around Jeebs' head, just lose enough to barely break the skin.

"Kurama, old pal! I've told you everything! Why would I lie to such a loyal client like you-" Kurama yanked his arm, Jeebs head became nothing more than a green splotch on the front window.

Kuwabara couldn't stay silent anymore, "What the hell! You just beheaded that guy!"

Kisuke gave him a blank look, "So?"

Kuwabara nearly exploded, "So! You just walk into stores tearing guys heads off! What the hell is wrong with you people!"

Kurama directed his attention back towards the headless form of Jeebs, "Look."

The irate look on Kuwabara's face soon morphed into one of confusion before settling on a combination of shock and disgust as Jeebs head grew back into the place.

"Don't you know how much that stings!" grunted Jeebs as he shook the excess slime from his face. The slight twitch in Kurama's hand and the rose whip barely moving an inch was all the extra motivation he needed.

"Alright! Alright!" pleaded Jeebs. "What do you need me to do!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Naruto decided to kick thing of with a bang back at Byakko's lair.

"Now let's play with the cute and cuddly kitty!" announced Naruto.

Before Byakko could retort at the insult, Naruto leaped forward, flinging a pair of kunai wrapped with explosive tags at the second Saint Beast. Byakko responded by clasping his throat with both hands, starting the beginning of what appeared to be another stone shattering roar. However, a surge of energy pulsed around his body and he fired a green energy blast laced with black lightning from his mouth. The blast vaporized the the two blades and forced Naruto to quickly jump to another platform, as the one he landed on was also destroyed by the blast. The odd thing they all noticed was that the platform didn't blow up, it simply disintegrated into ashes like the two kunai.

Byakko was amused by their stunned looks, "Hahaha! You like it? That's my Tiger Scream blast, it turns everything it touches into a pile of ashes!"

"Well shit." muttered Naruto as the tiger guffawed.

"This guy is really starting to piss me off..." grumbled Yusuke.

"For years, I'd heard rumors there was a demon with the ability to shatter molecular bonds with the vibrations of his voice." spoke a slightly awed Hiei. "I'd never thought they'd prove to be more than rumors, let alone that I'd actually get to meet him."

"Even better, you will actually die by his hand as well!" exclaimed Byakko as he started rapid firing blasts at them.

"What the hell can we do about this!" yelled Naruto he dodged by jumping between platforms.

"We can't do anything except for dodge it. I'd recommend avoiding using that shadow clone technique of yours. If one of them managed to be hit the technique, the chain reaction might destroy you as well." advised Hiei as he quick-jumped around the platforms.

"That is going to be a pain in the ass." growled Naruto.

"This is such a rip off from Mario Bros that it's not even funny. This asshole is a total Bowser wanna be." muttered Yusuke with his glowing right index finger pointed at the ground.

"You can only run now!" bellowed Byakko.

Hiei withdrew his sword from beneath his cloak, deciding to take the offensive with Byakko aiming most of his attacks in Naruto's direction. The dark haired demon sped across the left side of the room, while Naruto kept to the right. The blond unleashed a continuous stream of kunai and shuriken at Byakko, his aim scatter shot at best due to his dodging acrobatics. The weapons drew the tiger's attention more towards Naruto than Hiei, but Byakko still managed to fire off enough blasts to keep Hiei at a reasonable distance.

_'We need to get to the other side of the room, so Yusuke can be in his blind spot.' _thought Hiei. _'As it is now, Byakko can just fire off his own attack to cancel out his spirit gun.'_

"Looks like your having a little trouble aiming there. Let me show you how it's done, **Tiger Claw!**" Byakko lifted his left hand from his throat and formed a fist. Four small blades of energy formed in cracks of his fingers and he swiped his fist, firing them off at Naruto. Hiei tried to capitalize by making a move towards Byakko, but the tiger quickly unleashed four of the blades in his direction. The attacks forced him off course when he moved to avoid them. Naruto applied a different tactic. His side of the room was already becoming limited in the number of remaining platforms, and he needed to reverse field to give himself more maneuverability. Opting to hold his ground, the blond threw four shuriken out to cancel out the attacks. Unluckily for him the Tiger Claws cut right through his weapons, resulting in him getting gashed in the side and the left arm from the attack.

"Fuck! I should have known better." growled Naruto as he held an arm over the wound at his side.

"Before, you caught me by surprise, but now that I know what's coming you're nothing!" bellowed Byakko.

Hiei re-sheathed his sword and took advantage of Byakko taking time to gloat. Utilizing his speed, he quickly flashed across several platforms getting close enough to leap directly at the platform Byakko was standing on. The tiger managed to turn and shield his head with his arms as he Hiei came at him, fists engulfed in dark fire.

**"Fists of the Mortal Flame!"** The fire demon unleashed an assault of vicious flame enhanced punches, driving Byakko to the edge of his platform, but no further. Yusuke thought he hand an opening and was about to pull the trigger until Hiei suddenly retreated, darting across platforms to the other side of the room.

Naruto was completely befuddled, "What the fuck just happened?"

"Why'd you back off? You were kicking his ass!" yelled Yusuke.

"Just look at him! He wasn't taking any damage!" snarled Hiei.

The dark haired demon was right, outside of some singed fur, Byakko had taken no damage whatsoever.

Byakko chuckled as he brought his arms down, "Thanks for the hot meal! A little spicy, but still good nonetheless!"

"I repeat: What the fuck just happened?" yelled Naruto.

Hiei glared at the blond, "He absorbed my energy through my attacks. The thief was feeding off of every punch, it's why I was unable to drive him off the platform."

"Even if you manage to get close enough to me to deal some damage, I'll simply feast away on your spirit energy!"

_'Well at least Hiei got to the other side. The logical thing to do would be to join him on the other side of the room, allowing Yusuke to get off shot in his blind spot. But fuck that, I'm doing this the fun way!' _thought Naruto.

"Alright, no more messing around. Take a good look, because the real fight is about to begin!" declared Naruto. "A classic move, straight for the Naruto Uzumaki Guide to Kicking Ass!"

Yusuke and Hiei both gave him looks that said, _'What the fuck!'_

Byakko raised an eyebrow at this, "Real fight? Hahahaha! I've got you on the ropes! But, I'll humor you. Let's see what you've got!"

"Yo! Fuzz-face! With your little fingernail attacks and your banshee screams, I have to say it: You fight like a girl! And not just any girl, a fangirl!" shouted Naruto.

Hiei was still looking at Naruto as if he was insane. Yusuke's laughter echoed across the chamber. Byakko looked as if he was trying to make Naruto explode with his mind. Naruto stood there with pointing an accusing finger at Byakko with a cocky grin and an all to familiar gleam in his eye.

"YOU FOOL-" Naruto cut off Byakko's outburst.

"Byakko the huntress!" taunted Naruto. "I mean come on, who but a woman would wear a skin tight outfit like that?"

Byakko exploded with a roar so powerful, he nearly brought the roof down,** "GGGRRAAAAAAHHHHH!"**

"Are you trying to get us all killed!" yelled Hiei.

Naruto blew a raspberry at the erupting Byakko, "Come on Bya-chan! Take your best shot!"

Byakko fired a massive tiger scream blast at Naruto, but the blond didn't move to dodge. He just stood their blowing a raspberry at him.

"MOVE YOU MORON!" yelled Hiei.

"GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY!" screamed Yusuke.

The two stared in horror as the attack connected, only for Naruto to vanish at the last second with a log reappearing in his place taking the hit instead.

"You're going to have to do better than that Bya-chan!" shouted Naruto.

The stunned tiger turned to find Naruto in the back left corner on the opposite side of the room.

"WHAT IT IS THIS TRICKERY!" shouted Byakko as he fired off a barrage of blasts, only for the same thing to happen again. This time Naruto reappearing near the far right wall.

Hiei figured out the trick as he watched it happen a second time,_ 'So, that's why he was so errant with all his weapons before. The one's that missed Byakko almost all ended up landing on platforms. He did it on purpose and now he's using the weapons to switch places. They're all over the room now...'_

Byakko unleashed unholy hell on the blond, firing off Tiger Scream Attacks like a semi-automatic pistol with an unlimited clip. The blond managed to substitute himself out of harms way every single time, taunting the beast all the while.

"Missed me!"

"Can't you do any better than that?"

"Over hear!"

"My Grandma has better aim that that!"

"It must be that time of month for you."

Hiei distanced himself from the pure chaos, dodging the occasional errant attack as Naruto worked his magic in driving their opponent absolutely insane. Not content with the substitution technique for evasion, Naruto mixed thing up by taking the occasional run up, down, and around the walls the of the lava dungeon. He even spiced up his insults by calling Byakko random girls names.

"Almost got me Fuki-chan!"

"Not even close Mika-chan!"

"Yuki-chan, I thought we we're friends!"

"Uh-oh, looks like Rina-chan wants to come out and play!"

"What the hell is he doing..." muttered a befuddled Hiei as Naruto now danced his his way across the ceiling, shaking his ass at Byakko. He continued to avoid Tiger Scream attacks easily until suddenly, he dropped down from the roof heading right for Byakko.

"I'VE GOT YOU NOW!" exploded Byakko, powering up a massive blast as Naruto descended down from the ceiling.

"It's done." announced Naruto with an air of finality.

"Huh?" Byakko gave Naruto a puzzled looked when out of nowhere his head was vaporized by a blast of spirit energy.

"Spirit gun." Yusuke's barely audible whisper somehow echoed across the entire lair. Hiei and Naruto followed the trail of the blast to find Yusuke still standing in the firing position with his trigger finger outstretched. The dark haired spirit detective cocked his thumb back, "Bang!"

Naruto nudged the headless body of Byakko with his foot, "He ain't coming back from that one."

"Two down, two to go!" declared Yusuke as he moved across the room to join Hiei and Naruto.

The dark haired demon slipped his cloak back on while giving off a snort, "I doubt the next two will be this easy. Byakko was certainly a much tougher opponent than Genbu, but he was just as foolish. After observing our first two battles, I doubt they'll continue to take us so lightly."

Naruto raised an eyebrow at him, "That may be true, but we've still got plenty of tricks up our sleeves. Don't think I haven't noticed you holding back. You've been saving up your best for the last the two fights. Plus that last fight, all I did was run around. Yusuke's clip might be empty though."

"I'm just fine!" declared Yusuke. "Although, I do have one question."

"What's that?" responded Naruto.

"Where the hell did you get those damn logs!" exclaimed Yusuke.

Naruto shrugged, "Seals."

At Yusuke's blank look he elaborated, "The log is sealed inside the kunai. The kunai is sealed inside the log. What's with the look? I didn't invent the shit."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Byakko, has fallen Master."

"I know Seiryu, it appears our intruders are more troublesome than we first expected."

"That may be true, but Byakko's battle edge had weakened from our years of captivity."

"We can no longer sit back and let them dictate the action."

"Very well, Master Suzaku. They will not survive the encounter with me."

"I have much faith in your abilities Seiryu, but it also would be prudent of me to began a counter-assault. Let's see how deal with the threat of both facing you in our compound, and the first all out assault by the makai infected in the human world. It should provide for a most excellent source of entertainment."

"Indeed Master, indeed."

* * *

With the fall of Byakko, Naruto, Hiei, and Yusuke have now caught the full attention of the remaining Saint Beasts. How will the split detective squad now handle facing battle on two fronts? Find out next time on Naruto Uzumaki: The Youkai Files!


	15. All Saints Day III: Arctic Thunder

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything

**Recap: **The battle of the Saint Beasts took quite the turn when the tiger beast, Byakko, surprisingly survived the first assault from Yusuke and the gang. The spirit detective squad had an even bigger surprise of their own when Naruto lived up to his old reputation as the number knucklehead surprise ninja, making a mockery of the proud beast and enabling Yusuke to finish him with a spirit gun blast. Now their journey into Maze Castle continues...

* * *

**All Saints Day III: Arctic Thunder**

"Hahahaha! Bya-chan! Oh Kami! Hahahaha!" Kushina couldn't stop laughing as she banged her fist down on Koenma's desk, it was all just too damn funny. "That was better than a comedy show! Hahahaha..."

Koenma's eye began to twitch as the red headed woman wouldn't shut up, "Yes, yes, it was quite hilarious, but more importantly they've taken down two Saint Beasts. Very good progress, if I do say so myself."

"Who does that!" exclaimed Minato. "Who has time? How can you possibly think of doing all that in the middle of a fight?"

Hiruzen chuckled, "You forget the footage you saw of his first battle with Yusuke as a Spirit Detective."

"Yeah, but I thought that was just him being resourceful since he wasn't all full power." said Minato.

"Ha! That was just Naruto being Naruto." interrupted Jiraiya as he walked into Koenma's office.

"Why are all you people in my office? Don't you have work to do!" yelled an annoyed Koenma.

"You asked everyone to go find information on the four saint beasts." reminded Minato.

Koenma let out a grunt of annoyance, "Okay, then what did you find?"

"There were no books or documents on them at all in the hall of records." reported Minato.

"Nothing in the archives." added Kushina.

"Your father's files on them only contained information we already know." informed Sarutobi.

"If there was nothing, why are you wasting your time loitering in my office!" snapped their toddler boss.

Jiraiya grinned as he pulled out a DVD and waved it in the air, "I did happen to come across a video in you brother's old library."

"A video, huh?" muttered Koenma as he walked over and took the disk from Jiraiya. "Maybe he had some footage on a previous battle with the Saint Beasts. Let's see what we've got here."

He placed the DVD into the player at his desk and the screen abruptly switched from Naruto's battle to the scene of a pair of young nuns comforting a woman in her home.

"I didn't know who else to turn to." exclaimed the crying woman. "His illness just keeps getting worse and worse, but the doctors say there's nothing wrong with him."

"You turned to right place Mrs. Garcia. The healing of the Lord comes in many ways and we're here to do his work." stated one of the nuns.

"Now you wait right here, Sister Emma and I will head back to see him." said the other.

"Oh, thank you so much!" thanked Mrs. Garcia.

Once they arrived to the boy's bedroom, they locked the door behind them, turned off the TV that was playing and dimmed the lights. The slightly exhausted young man in the bed looked up in surprise at the sight of them.

"We hear you haven't been feeling so well..." began Sister Emma.

Suddenly the nuns started disrobing leaving themselves wearing nothing but their head coverings, "We're here to make you all better..."

The title, 'The Four Saint Breasts!', then suddenly flashed across the screen before Koenma quickly managed to shut it off.

"Hey turn that back on-whoops!" exclaimed Jiraiya. He looked around only to find his student and sensei had already vanished.

"Kushina, if you would please." stated Koenma with a thinly veiled calm.

"My pleasure. Ogres!" Suddenly four of them appeared at her command. "Hold him down!"

"It was an honest mistake!" pleaded Jiraiya. "No! Not the face!...AHHH! AHHH!..Yes the face! Please the face!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Back in the living world, Botan was attempting to get some of her paperwork done while overseeing the situation from Urahara's laboratory. An alert beacon from the screen shifted her attention back to the situation at hand.

"What in the world is going on there?" whispered Botan as she watched some accumulating flashing blue dots clustered together on the screen.

"The makai signatures have entered into a migration pattern." reported Sara. "I've detected a low frequency pattern emitting throughout the city. The Makai whistle is currently in use."

Botan narrowed her eyes at the screen, "Well that's both good news and bad news. Good news being the boys just defeated another Saint Beast and bad news being that the leader is initiating his plans to take over the city. Please open a line back up to Naruto."

"Of course." replied Sara as she opened up a window on the monitor.

"Hey, Botan." greeted Naruto as he face appeared on the screen.

"Did you just take down another Saint Beast?" asked Botan.

Naruto gave her a puzzled look, "Yeah, we did. How did you know?"

"The makai infected and other insects are on the move. The Saint Beasts have launched their counter-assault." she replied.

Naruto frowned, "Well, we better get a move on then."

Botan nodded, "It's good thing you've taken down three beasts already."

"Botan, we've only killed two." corrected Naruto.

"What! What in the world have you been doing! This isn't some field trip for you and Yusuke to laze about!" yelled Botan.

Naruto just shrugged and scratched the back of his head in response, "These guys are a pain in the ass to kill. We essentially had to kill the last guy twice and I doubt they're going to get any easier."

Yusuke cut in, "What are you getting on our case for anyway! Kurama and Kuwabara should be handling things back in the city! Go yell at them to get their asses in gear!"

"But they have Lord Kisuke with them, I'm sure-" Botan paused as she realized what she was about to say. "That I need to make sure they haven't gotten sidetracked on one of his crazy tangents. I'll keep you posted."

"Kisuke is not picking up," informed Sara. "He's most likely busy with something."

Botan sighed, "Hopefully they're actually making some progress instead of goofing around."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Hiei, Naruto, and Yusuke hustled up a spiraling set of stairs, exiting the stairs into a circular room with about fifteen solid steel doors leading in every direction.

"Talk about your forks in the road." joked Yusuke.

"About time maze castle lived up to its name." added Naruto.

Hiei smirked, "I'm glad you two find this death trap so amusing."

Yusuke raised an eyebrow at this, "What do you mean by death trap?"

"Legend has it that before the walls were built round the city, the beasts never left the upper tower. Bounty hunters came in mass trying to take them down, all easily reaching this point before forfeiting their lives to this maze. Of the fifteen doors only one leads to the correct path, the rest are all dead ends and there are no second chances. Unavoidable death traps lay in wait, so as you can see a bad choice seals our fate." explained Hiei.

Yusuke let out an amused chuckle, "What do you know, Kuwabara might have actually come in handy with that freaking sensing ability of his."

Naruto snorted, "Not really."

The blond quickly made a shadow clone for each door and sent them through. The trio waited quietly for several minutes until Naruto finally pointed at the correct door.

"The traps in this place suck ass. All my clones made it to the dead end except the one who picked the right door. The hunters coming into this place before must have really sucked." grumbled Naruto as Yusuke just shook his head and let out a chuckle before opening the door and allowing them to move ahead.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

In his tower atop Maze castle, Suzaku was quite surprised by their progress.

"Somehow, they managed to pick the right door thanks to that blond one. Who is he?" pondered the leader of the Saint Beasts. "Well, if one manages to survive to Seiryu, I hope it's him. A battle with him would be quite entertaining before I kill him."

He turned his head up to ceiling suddenly, "It looks like Mirugu is back. I do hope she brings interesting news." He suddenly brought the Makai whistle to his lips, "Regardless, I think it is time I cause a little more trouble over in the human world, a little Mayhem in A-minor."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Under threat of decapitation experimentation, Jeebs led Kisuke, Tessai, Kurama, and Kuwabara through a hidden tunnel beneath his shop. The secret passageway ended out behind an old abandoned factory in the vacated industrial district on the outskirts of town. The factory grounds was filled with both Makai insects and Makai infected loitering around not doing much of anything. The masses were undisturbed by the intruders, going on about their business as if there was no one there.

"Why are they all just hanging around doing nothing?" asked Kuwabara. "The ones we ran into were just itching destroy stuff."

"They like the smell of the aconite plant. It's fragrance is a potent hallucinogen for them." informed Kurama.

Seeing Kuwabara's blank expression, Kisuke dumbed it down for him, "They're all getting high."

"Zombie potheads, go figure?" muttered Kuwabara.

"I've stashed the plants up there." explained Jeebs as he pointed up to the roof.

They looked up and spotted bunches of the flowers all tied to the front of massive fans blowing out over the edge of the roof. Just as Kurama was about to leap up to gather the plants, the infected began to stir, causing Jeebs to make a beeline back towards the tunnel.

"The Saint Beasts are on the move! You're in for it now! So long suckers!" taunted Jeebs as he fled the scene.

Kisuke sighed in annoyance, "Well, that's just great. The whistle is being played, the plants are now useless to us."

"So, what now?" questioned Kurama.

By now the quartet was standing back-to-back-to-back-to-back, with the infected zombies circling around them.

"We do this the old fashioned way!" roared Kuwabara.

Kuwabara charged head-on into the zombie army and the infected started dropping like flies. The redhead was able to down every single zombie with a single punch or kick. Tessai was right behind him, tearing through their ranks with ease. Kurama and Kisuke took to attacking from a distance, the redhead slicing and dicing away with his rose whip while the bucket hat wearing scientist lifted his cane into his arms like and M-16 and started firing off blasts of spirit energy from its now opened tip. In the middle of the massive free-for-all started by Tessai and Kuwabara, the red head was starting to feel it.

"You punks don't stand a chance! I'm Kuwabara! And I've got the SPIRIT SWORD!" he bellowed as he summoned the red spirit weapon into his hand and started slicing and dicing his way through their ranks.

"Above you!" called out Kurama as a pair of attackers leaped from the second floor of the factory at Kuwabara.

"Sword get longer!" shouted Kuwabara as he turned and the red spirit energy weapon lengthened and pierced right through the pair of zombies. The sword quickly retracted dropping the two to the ground onto the every growing pile of defeated enemies.

"There's plenty more where that came from!" bellowed the redhead as he attacked with even more ferocity.

While not as loud and as flashy as Kuwabara, both Tessai, Kisuke and Kurama all meticulously and effectively began to thin the numbers of the zombie army.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The proper pathway from the maze trap lead Hiei, Naruto, and Yusuke to a massive set of blue double doors outlined with ornate golden trim. To the side of the doors were a pair of blue dragon statues in snarling poses. Hiei was not impressed by the display.

"Is this a joke?" he sneered. "This is supposed to intimidate us? These Saint Beasts just keep getting more and more pathetic."

"What's the big deal?" questioned Yusuke.

"That is the mark of the blue dragon, a supposedly dangerous beast." replied Hiei.

"He's definitely in there, it's obvious none these guys have taken a shower in the last hundred years." quipped Naruto.

To their surprise, the door slowly creaked open on its own and a thick fog spewing forth from within. Yusuke narrowed his eyes as he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked inside with Hiei and Naruto following close behind. Once inside the doors shut behind them, leaving them faced with a thick fog covering the room that made visibility severely limited.

"The good news for me at least is that the air here is thick with water. The bad news is that this is no normal fog." muttered Naruto.

"It must be tainted by the spirit energy coming from the beast's body." asserted Hiei.

A low pitched voice suddenly echoed through the fog, "You have done very well to make it this far, but I will no longer allow you to disgrace my master."

Naruto flipped up his shades to use the jagan to the full extent and frowned, "Fuck, I still can't tell the difference between him and the fog."

Yusuke quickly became annoyed with the theatrics, "What are you five? Come out now Dragon! This hide and seek bullshit is pretty lame!"

"As you request." replied the voice.

Suddenly sparks of lighting flashed through the fog and a large blue ball of spirit energy appeared in the center of the room. The lighting coiled around the the energy ball for a few seconds before a powerful surge caused the energy to flash brightly, forcing the trio to shield their eyes from the bright light. The light show soon died down and most of the fog dissipated to reveal a giant figure standing before them, shrouded by a swirling blue mist. The pale blue skinned dark haired demon with a goatee towered over them, dressed in dark blue martial arts clothes with a light blue embroidered dragon running across the front and back his torso. The temperature dropped precipitously with the demon making his full presence known. The full scope of the dungeon also came into view. The dull grey square tiles of the floor were offset by the massive arctic blue rectangular panels that went from wall to wall and even covered the ceiling. In the back of the room another massive golden trimmed doorway marked the exit.

The third Saint Beast looked down upon the three spirit world operatives as if they were nothing but flies to be swatted, "You may call me Seiryu. I am here to end your lives, intruders."

"He's no dragon, but he is ugly." taunted Yusuke.

"He's a wielder of ice techniques, do tread carefully." warned Hiei.

"Now that's it down to two, all of us fighting one guy wastes too much time." advised Naruto. "Someone needs to move on ahead and destroy that damn makai whistle."

"I doubt he will let us leave that easily." surmised Hiei. "I also know nothing of their leader. There's no telling who has the best chance at eliminating him."

"We don't have to beat him, just destroy that damn whistle. I'll take the job." declared Yusuke.

"Chanting a few prayers before your demise? It makes no difference, come at me all at once if you must." mocked Seiryu.

Hiei responded in surprising manner by discarding his black cloak, leaving his upper body completely bare in spite of the cold conditions. The black haired demon crouched into an attack stance while partially extracting his sword from his sheath. Yusuke took this as his cue to get ready to move, taking his hands out of his pockets and shifting onto the balls of his feet. Naruto simply shifted into a old stance from his first true battle as a shinobi, that he brought into practice when after he learned of his Suiton Affinity during his training trip with Jiraiya. Raising his left arm straight up with his palm facing to the side, he brought his closed right hand to his face as he extended his index and middle fingers upward, **"Kirikagure no Jutsu! (Hidden Mist Jutsu)"**

The fog generated by Seiryu previously, had nothing on the thickness of the mist Naruto generated. After the technique blanketed the room, Seiryu could barely see his own hand in front of his face.**  
**

Naruto's own voice now echoed throughout the mist as he started flaring killing intent seemingly from all directions,**_"Eight points: Larynx, spine, lungs, liver, jugular, subclavian artery, kidneys, and heart. Now, which way would you like to die?"_**

Seiryu ignored him as he closed his eyes and waited patiently in the until he heard the expected sounds of footsteps headed towards the exit of the room. He swiftly moved ahead of the escapee and attacked.**_  
_**

**"Ice Dragon!"** roared Seiryu as quickly brought his arm back and thrust his fist forward and unleashed a burst of energy.

His efforts were reworded with sound of the runner freezing under subzero temperatures of his attack. He stepped forward in the mist and smirked when he came face to face with a frozen Naruto and Hiei.

"How pitiful. To be defeated in only one attack." mocked Seiryu. "Seems I was wrong about you Hiei."

The smirk on his face was quickly replaced with one of shock as the bodies of Naruto and Hiei suddenly collapsed into puddles of ice water.

Seiryu was completely caught off guard, "What is this?"

**_"You're nothing, but a baby dragon! You can't handle the demons of the mist!" taunted Naruto._**

The one of the puddles of water suddenly reformed into a Naruto clone, it was soon joined by half a dozen more water clones that crept in from the mist, circling around Seiryu. Each clones held two kunai's in hand and one in their mouth, looking very intimidating as they spiked killing intent with their jagan eyes blazing. At some unseen signal they all charged the blue dragon.

Despite attacking with such ferocity, Seiryu quickly found the clones to be easy to dispatch due them only be one-tenth the strength of the original Naruto. The clones however, did have the desired in effect in creating an opening for Hiei to exploit. The fire demon raced in at top speed to make cold cuts out of Seiryu. Somehow the saint beast sensed the attack coming because at the last second he turned towards Hiei and defended himself.

**"Ice Barrier!" **A thick sheet of ice formed in midair in front of Seiryu. At the last second Hiei opted away from his sword and shattered the defense technique with a powerful spinning kick before vanishing back into the mist. The force of the blow sent Seiryu flying back and he landed in the puddle of water from the old Naruto clone. As he moved to stand up he realized that the water was heavier than normal water, but by then it was far too late.**  
**

**"Suirō no Jutsu! (Water Prison Jutsu)" **The water prison formed around the blue dragon's body, the original Naruto maintaining its control.

"Gotcha Bitch!" taunted Naruto as he smirked at his prisoner.

"Fool! You've only ensured your demise!" bellowed Seiryu.

Within the water prison, his body turned to ice, and Naruto was forced to retract his hand as the entire prison froze over. Seiryu emerged from the mist trying to turn the original Naruto into ice, but the blond substituted himself with a water clone at the last second.

"A fucking ice clone, didn't see that coming." muttered Naruto as he stood hidden in a pocket of the mist close to Hiei. "At least Yusuke was able to move on."

"His skills are far more advanced than I initially suspected." informed Hiei. "He is no master of ice, but we'd do best to tread carefully."

Naruto nodded, "You can get closest to him with your speed, stay hidden until I can give you another opening. This time he won't be able to defend himself."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

High atop Maze Castle in his darkened layer, Suzaku switched the scene of his viewing orb from the battle raging withing the mist to Yusuke's solo trek to the top of tower. His pet and loyal spy, the bird demon Mirugu, sat perched atop his shoulder, letting out mirthful trills of laughter.

"Oh! I can't believe they actually split up their forces and sent only one after you!" laughed the yellow, white, and green feathered bird as she took flight and swooped around the room.

"And of all of them it just had to be the human. Do they have no sense of respect?" questioned Suzaku.

"Obviously not, perhaps you should use the information I found on the human?" suggested Mirugu.

A pleased look formed on his face, "Prepare a little welcoming present for Yusuke Urameshi? I wouldn't be such a gracious host if I didn't. I'm sure he'll be grateful to witness the final moments of his precious Keiko. That will be entertainment worth watching!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"You guys better hurry up back there, I've got a really bad feeling about this..." muttered Yusuke to himself as he sprinted up another flight of stairs.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Back at Urahara Shoten, Botan quickly observed the effects of Suzaku's actions, "This is odd, a bunch of Makai signatures just popped up near Yusuke's school."

"It's a swarm of insects, the are infecting anyone they can get their hands on within the area." informed Sara.

"But why would they..." Botan froze up as it dawned on her. "Oh no, Keiko! We've got to alert the others!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Back at the abandoned factory, Urahara sat on the growing pile of unconscious bodies while reading a text message from Sara. A makai zombie tried to sneak up on him from behind, but Urahara pointed his cane at him and blasted him into unconsciousness without even looking up from his phone.

"Just got a message from Sara, a swarm off Makai insects just popped up near Yusuke's school. Botan thinks they're going after Keiko." informed Urahara.

"Oh, that is fucking low! They can't handle those three kicking their asses, so they take Keiko hostage! They're nothing but cowards!" bellowed Kuwabara.

Kurama had a different take on the matter, "They're not cowards, they're ruthless. I suspect this is no hostage situation. Notice this is a direct attack on Yusuke, the only human of the three fighters we have in maze castle. More then likely they plan to torment him by forcing him to watch her die."

Kurama surveyed the remaining infected people in front of them, "Kuwabara, we've got things covered here. You head to the school and help Keiko."

Kuwabara shook his head, "There's no way I'm going to be able to get across town in time on foot."

Kisuke bashed another zombie with his cane, still looking down at his phone, "Tessai, head back to Jeeb's shop with him and take the van. We'll finish the cleanup here."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Upon his realization that Yusuke was gone, Seiryu let out a low chuckle, "I see you've freed yourselves of your human burden. Perhaps there is hope for you two, yet. My master will be amused by you allowing him to torture that human filth, prostrate yourselves before him and he will grant you power and fame beyond anything you ever tasted."

_**"Is that all you have to say? They are last words, you know?"**_ echoed Hiei's voice in response.

"Fine! You shall meet your deaths like all the other weaklings!" roared Seiryu as he flared his spirit energy.

Seiryu started leaking out his own spirit energy into the mist, enabling him to sense where his opponents where coming from. The only problem was that he still couldn't hit them. The water clones he nailed with his freezing technique would collapse into water and later reform when he moved onto a new target. The original Naruto and Hiei were too elusive to be captured, anytime he got remotely close, they'd vanish into another part of the midst. So far the only thing the blue dragon had really accomplished was covering the walls and ceiling with ice.

The mist in front in front of him suddenly thinned, coalescing into solid water and revealing Naruto a short distance in front of him as he completed a long chain of hand signs, **"Suiton: Suiryūdan no Jutsu! (Water Release: Water Dragon Bullet Jutsu)"**

The massive water dragon formed from the mist and sped forward, leaving Seiryu with little time to react. He thrust his hands forward as the dragon approached him and transformed to the beast into ice and took control of it. The dragon turned around and was sent right back at it's original creator. Seiryu let out a curse of frustration as Naruto escaped once again via substitution technique with a water clone.

"If hide and seek, is how you want to play it, then I will oblige you." snarled Seiryu as he flared his energy and seemingly vanished from within the mist.

Jagan eyes blazing, Naruto and Hiei searched for the presence of the blue dragon within the mist, but they could not find him. Naruto even began to thin out the mist, only to find no trace of Seiryu in sight.

"He's gone. I can't believe it, he turned tail and ran away!" exclaimed Naruto.

"I haven't gone anywhere. Just take a look around." responded Seiryu.

Naruto thinned out the mist completely, revealing himself and Hiei to be in the center of the room. On first glance they were stunned to find reflections of Seiryu staring back at them from the ceiling in walls. His missed freezing attempts had covering the rectangular tiles in a reflective ice coating, turning them into Ice Mirrors powered by his spirit energy.

"Well isn't this a bad case of deja vu." grumbled Naruto. "Trapped in another damn death igloo."

"Now there is no where for you to hide! Even that little mist technique of yours is no match for my **Ice Dragon Scale Mirrors**!" proclaimed Seiryu as he roared with laughter. Each reflection suddenly shifted back into an attack position as they created dozens of small fang-like blades of ice and launched them through the mirrors, **"Ice Dragon Fangs!"**

Hiei poured on the speed and darted around the round in no particular pattern to void getting shredded by the blades of ice. Naruto took to a different method, building a meat shield of water clones around himself as the attacks came in. He recreating a layer of mist, not nearly as thick as the previous one, to help mask Hiei's movements. Feeling he could easily overwhelm Naruto's protection method, Seiryu focused his attacks on the blond, trying to wear him down as the clones attempted to deflect the attacks with kunai.

_'They're not replicas in the mirrors, he's just hoping really fast from one mirror to another to make it seem so. If I could just get him knocked of course for even a moment...'_ thought Hiei.

"That shield won't last you forever! Let's take things up a notch!" declared Seiryu as he created even more fang blades. **"Thousand Dragon Fangs!"**

With the amount of blades, Naruto realized that his protection wouldn't hold and broke containment just before they were overwhelmed by the assault, unfortunately Seiryu anticipated this.

**"Ice Dragon!"** bellowed Seiryuu as he made a direct assault with his freezing technique, icing over Naruto's left leg and sending the blond tumbling across the floor before returning to the safety of his ice mirrors.

"Do you see now? No one ever escapes, you can only grovel...and beg for mercy!" taunted Seiryu as he formed a blade of ice over his right arm. "With your leg frozen like that, you can't possibly move. It's time to start groveling."

Naruto grimaced as he shakily stood up before smirking at one of the reflections, "Grovel, huh? You can take that shitty excuse for an ice pick and shove it up your ass!"

"Then this is the end for you!" roared Seiryuu as appeared in front of the blond before he could react and drove his sword right through Naruto's gut.

However, instead of collapsing to the ground with a spray of blood, Naruto exploded into a shower of electricity. Massive amounts of electric current coursed through Seiryu's body, momentarily paralyzing him. The paralysis wore off after a few seconds and he escaped back into one of his mirrors. A stray kunai dropped by one of the water clones went up in a puff of smoke to reveal the real Naruto.

It quickly dawned on Seiryu, "You've been setting me up for that technique all along."

"Of course. Showing off the shadow clones in my previous fight and the water clones now, was all I needed to get you comfortable enough to slice and dice with reckless abandon. Now you've paid the price." responded Naruto smugly.

Seiryu sneered at him, "For so little payout? You've wasted your opportunity, now I know better than to strike from so close."

It was then that he finally heard the sound of Hiei re-sheathing his sword and noticed him putting back on his cloak.

"It wasn't wasted. You've been dead for thirty-two seconds already." informed Hiei.

"What!" exclaimed Seiryu as within all his reflection in the mirrors blood unexpectedly trickled down his forehead. Various cuts and slashes started appeared all over his body as his reflection cried out before suddenly exploded into shower of blood and spirit energy while all the ice mirrors melted away.

As the two nonchalantly made their way out the exit, Naruto asked, "So, what are the odds Yusuke's already beaten the boss and destroyed the whistle by the time we get there?"

Hiei scoffed at the notion, "Slim to none, we'll be lucky if he manages to destroy the damn whistle and not get himself killed in the process."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Keiko hummed to herself as she walked approached the teacher's lounge with a stack of flyers in her hands.

"Mr. Takenaka, I've got those flyers..." Keiko's train of thought immediately derailed as she opened the door to the teacher's lounge and found Mr. Takenaka unconscious at a desk with a massive bloody wound on the back of his head. She dropped the flyers in her hands in shock as she let out a scream of panic.

"Mr. Iwamoto, please call for help! Someone attacked Mr. Takenaka!" exclaimed Keiko.

"Yukimura...Yukimura! You've been a bad girl! You need to pay for your insolence!" yelled the possessed Iwamoto as he attempted to strike the girl with a pair of scissors. Keiko shrieked as she stumbled back out of the way, before turning and running back to Mr. Takenaka's office and barricading herself inside by sliding a desk in front of the door.

"Come on out Yukimura! You can't hide forever!" bellowed Iwamoto as he and the other zombies tried to break down the door.

"What in the world is going on out there? It's like I'm trapped in some horror movie nightmare." muttered Keiko.

Suddenly she heard a ringing sound coming from near Mr. Takenaka. She walked over to him and saw his cell phone ringing on the top of his desk.

She let out a sigh of relief at finding an opportunity to call for help, "Excuse me! There's been an emergency at the school! Mr. Takenaka was attacked!"

The voice on the line ignored her, "Keiko! You need to get away from the school right now!"

"Who is this? What's going on?" demanded Keiko. "Are you behind this?"

"Keiko this is Botan! You need to get out of that school right now! There's no time to explain! Just follow my instructions, those people are all after you!" exclaimed Botan.

"Does this have something to do with Yusuke?" asked Botan

"Yes, now there's not much time! You need to open the window and head up the fire escape..."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Across town, Tessai was like hell on wheels as he raced through the streets of the city towards the school. As the Urahara Shoten van rounded a corner at high speed and barely missed clipping and old lady crossing the street, Tessai was the picture of calm, handling the steering wheel with one hand while whistling as his other arm hung out the window.

"Hey! Be careful!" screamed Kuwabara as held on for dear life in the passenger seat.

Tessai turned his eyes away from the road and gave Kuwabara a beaming smile, "Have no fear my young friend! I know these streets like the back of my hand!"

"Don't look at me, look at the road! Keep your eyes own the damn road!" screamed Kuwabara.

Tessai ignored him, "Yes, I've been over every nook and crannie of this city many many times. Why back in eighty-three..."

Kuwabara glanced up ahead, and saw they were headed straight for a big rig that had gotten caught in the middle of an intersection. The redhead braced himself for impact, "We're going crash! I'm too young and pretty to die!"

Add the last second, Tessai lightly tapped on the brakes, and sent the van into a drift enabling it to ghost around the back of the truck until they hit daylight and he floored it again. He did this while still looking at Kuwabara the entire time, "I dusted that lazy bus driver, won the bet, and went home with the girl! That's when they started calling me..."

Kuwabara ignored him as he let out a sigh of relief at the minor miracle, only the be in full blown panic once again once he realized they were headed for what appeared to be a brick walled dead end at a hundred twenty miles per hour.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Yusuke finally made it up the last set of stairs, and walked out the top of the passage to the sight of Suzaku playing a tune on the Makai whistle while seated in front of massive oval shaped viewing mirror with ornate golden trim. Playing on the mirror like a movie was Keiko's struggle at Yusuke's school, the makai infected faculty members chasing after her. The top room of the tower was shaped like a circular dome, the viewing mirror positioned in the rear like a theater screen with curtains drawn back to the side of it. The same bluish gray stone made up the walls and floor. A few stools and chairs along with a fake grey throne with red cushioning filled out the part of the room in front of the viewing mirror. The long orange haired demon had two reds strands of hair hanging down in front of his purple eyes.

Suzaku brought the whistle away from his lips and smirked at his new visitor as he rose from his pseudo-throne, "It's a lovely melody isn't it? I was supposed to a funeral tune as I made you watch your girlfriend die, but you arrived before she's been captured. I guess I can always come up with something later."

"You are one sick asshole." growled Yusuke.

"I am Suzaku, leader of the four saint beasts!" announced Suzaku.

His loyal pet floated down next to him, "And I'm the lovely Mirugu!"

"Now, watch closely Yusuke Urameshi! This is a rare opportunity to witness the pathetic fragility of the human race, your precious gilfriend's end is near!" proclaimed Suzaku.

"Give me the makai whistle, and just maybe I'll let you live." threatened Yusuke.

"And if I refuse?" replied Suzaku.

Yusuke's tone turned cold as ice, "I'll kill you and pry it from, your cold dead hands."

Suzaku merely smirked and turned his attention back to the viewing mirror were Keiko was caught in a tough spot as she hid from her pursuers. He let out an amused laugh at the sight of her.

"You must be proud to have girlfriend be playing such a convincing lead in this horror story. Look at her expression! On top of that this about a realistic a setting as you can get. She's really putting in the performance of a lifetime!" proclaimed Suzaku.

"That's it! You're going to die!" roared the dark haired spirit detective as he rushed the leader of the Saint Beasts. Yusuke quickly closed the gap between them, unleashing a furious barrage of punches that Suzaku managed to deflect aside with only a single hand.

_'He is much stronger and faster, than I anticipated. Not bad for a human.' _thought Suzaku._  
_

_'Only one hand? What the fuck is this guy?' _thought Yusuke as he upped the intensity of his attack. A particularly powerful punch forced the orange haired demon to leap high up into the air in order to avoid being hit. When Suzaku looked back down at his opponent, he was surprised to find a smirk on his face.

"Funny thing about being in the air..." began Yusuke as he brought his right arm back and stuck out his index finger to charge up a spirit gun attack. "Makes it really hard to dodge!** Spirit Gun!**"

Yusuke fired his attack right on target, and had Suzaku dead to rights.

The demon was momentarily surprised by the attack, _'He can fire off that much of his spirit energy!'_

_'Direct hit!'_ thought Yusuke.

Suzaku quickly overcame his surprise and defended himself in a most surprising faction.

"KAAHHH!" roared the orange haired demon as he channeling spirit energy into his hand and deflected the attack away from himself. It shot up nearly roasted Mirugu before exploding as it hit the roof of the tower. Yusuke stared up in disbelief as chunks of stone crumbled to the ground in front of him.

Suzaku gave him an appraising look as he landed on the ground and blew on his smoking fist, "I must commend you, your blast is very powerful. You actually managed to numb my hand with that attack."

Yusuke still couldn't believe it, _'You've got to be kidding me. He swatted it away like it was nothing.'_

"If you actual could manage to hit me with that, you might be able to kill me. This is going to be very interesting."

"Six months of training with that cranky old hag Genkai and my spirit gun is still no better than a sling shot." grumbled Yusuke.

"Perhaps, I should hold the Makai whistle for the moment while you crush him?" suggested Mirugu.

Suzaku shook his head, "That won't be necessary. I can kill him with one hand."

Yusuke scoffed at the notion, "Let's see you try."

Suddenly thunder began to boom outside and lighting crackling across the sky as dark clouds shifted over the opening in the roof.

"I must say, you've done a terrific remodeling job." quipped Suzaku as he raised his free hand into the air.

"I'll send you the bill." retorted Yusuke.

Mirugu suddenly let out a giggle of amusement as she swooped around overhead, "Using that technique on a human? You're going to die! You're going to die! Hahaha!"

Suddenly a massive golden bolt of lightning shot down through the opening in the ceiling, enveloping Suzaku before gathering into a ball in his outstretched hand.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" yelled Yusuke. "I get the shitty draw with the lightning guy? Just fucking great, that's what I get for volunteering."

"You're finished!" yelled Suzaku as he brought his charged up fist back and charged Yusuke. The spirit detective waited until he got close before leaping up into the air, and Suzaku followed suit leaping at him and swing his the attack in his arm forward. **"Storm of Torment!"**

At the last second, Yusuke dodged out of the way only to seemingly be contacted by a stray spark of lightning the enveloped him in a sphere of storming electricity. Yusuke screamed out in pain as he was held under the torture of the attack for several seconds until the lightning dissipated and his smoking and writhing body fell to the ground.

"What the fuck? I could have sworn he missed me..." grunted Yusuke from the ground as his body laid splayed out in a haphazard faction.

Suzaku walked over to his fallen form, "You'll find that the energy seeks you out like lightning to a rod, but you should take pride in the fact that you are the first human to ever survive the attack."

Yusuke slowly staggered to his knees and tremors ran through his body, _'Can't dodge it, I got to come up with something fast. I might not live through another one of those...'_

"You are much more powerful than the usual pawns King Yemma sends my way. You're still not strong enough to ruin my great plan, once you get up I'm going to finish this. Why don't you stay down for a while and watch the thrilling end to Keiko's movie?" taunted Suzaku.

"Keiko's a lot tougher than you give her credit for. She'll survive just fine, so you can take your shitty script and shove it up your ass!" declared Yusuke. _'Help is on the way, Keiko. I need to get rid of that damn whistle to make sure it gets there in time.'_

"You humans are so predictable. Give you a female companion and the you're happy, take her away and you become mad. Stop deluding yourself!" barked the orange haired demon.

_'I'm only going to get one shot at this...'_ thought Yusuke.

The dark haired spirit detective slowly rose to his feet and started gathering energy into his right index finger.

"You decided to get up? Very well, I will not allow you to hinder my plans any further Yusuke Urameshi." state Suzaku with a tone of finality.

"I don't give a shit about you or your damned plans! You can just go straight to hell!" yelled Yusuke as he powered up the last of his energy into one final shot.

"Perhaps the pain from my attack has driven you mad? You have no chance against me! Prepare yourself!" declared Suzaku as lightning shot down from the sky again into his free hand and he formed another of his own trademark attack. **"Storm of Torment!"**

**"Spirit Gun!"** Yusuke fired the minute Suzaku finished completing his own attack. The aim of the spirit gun was not true. The blast sailed past Suzaku's right shoulder. The demon did not miss the chance to capitalize on the miscue, charging and delivering the full brunt of his attack a point blank range.

As Yusuke writhed and screamed in pain under the torment of the attack, Suzaku took the time to gloat, " Hahaha! You fool! The fatigue from my attack had already distorted your aim! Even if you were-"

His proclamation was cut off as the spirit gun blast rebounded off the viewing screen behind him, destroying it in the process, before heading right for the Makai whistle in his hand and destroying it.

"Even at full strength you might have been able to dodge, but you were never the target in the first place. Who's laughing now bitch!" finished Yusuke with a weak chuckle as he collapsed to the ground.

"You will pay the utmost price for ruining my plans Urameshi!" bellowed Suzaku as he crouched into a stance with his left leg angled backwards. He held his hands clasped with his index fingers outstretched and touching together in front of his face. Red energy flickered into existence at the tip of his fingers before engulfing his whole body.

"You're using that technique? Hahaha! You're going to obliterate him in a matter of moments!" cackled Mirugu with glee.

"A swift death is far too merciful for this human trash! I'm going to break him!" snarled Suzaku.

Yusuke had just barely staggered back to his feet, breathing heavily, "Something tells me he's not talking about a Kit-Kat bar."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Keiko simply couldn't understand what was going on. One minute all the door burst down in the classroom she was hiding in, but instead of the people trying the kill her charging in, they all fell to the floor unconscious. On top of that Kuwabara suddenly came pole-vaulting through a closed window on the third floor using his elongated spirit sword.

"Have no fear! Kuwabara is here!" announced the red head as he burst through the window. "Aw, man! The fights already over? Damn you Urameshi! You stole my thunder!"

Keiko narrowed her eyes at him, "What exactly does Yusuke have to do with all this?"

Botan had already hung up on the other end of the line, leaving Kuwabara to face Keiko's wrath alone.

Kuwabara let out a nervous chuckle as he absentmindedly scratched the back of his head, "Well, uh... um...eh...hehehe..."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Back at Maze Castle, Yusuke was wondering if he needed to get his eyes checked.

"You've got to be shitting me." muttered the dark haired teen as Suzaku split himself into seven beings.

"Can you guess.." started the one on the far right.

"..which one of us seven..." continued the one in the center.

"..is the real Suzaku?" finished the one to the left of center.

"Bet you can't..." taunted the one on the far left.

"Bet you can't..." taunted the one next to him.

"We all are!" chorused the seven Suzakus simultaneously.** "Black Secret Technique: The Prism of Seven!"**

_'I've had enough trouble with one these bastards, how am I supposed to deal with seven?" _thought Yusuke.

"This is quite the technique. These aren't mere shadows or copies. Each of us have our own free will, it makes for a most destructive combination of techniques!" declared Suzaku.

"I've seen better." grumbled Yusuke.

The seven demons all leaped into the air, forming a bow of spirit energy in one hand while shaping a storm of torment attack into the form of an arrow in the other. Yusuke prepared himself for the incoming wave of attacks by channeling his remains spirit energy into his fists.**  
**

"The only chance you'd have of beating me is to kill all seven of us at once, but you're too weak to do that now!" proclaimed the Suzakus. "I've packed these attacks with enough power to send King Enma to his grave! Farewell Yusuke Urameshi! **Prism Storm of Torment!**"

The seven demons all fired their attacks simultaneously. Yusuke faced them head on, managing to deflect two of the arrows with one hand before sliding to his right to avoid an attack that made a divot in the stone floor. He blocked another attack with the remaining spirit energy in his other hand and leaped to the right to avoid a fifth attack. However, his luck ran out there as the final two storm of torment arrows pierced right through his shoulders. He collapsed to his knees and arched back as he howled out in pain under the duress of double the attack. Once the attacks died down he collapsed back to the ground.

"You managed to avoid five of my seven attacks, I'm impressed. It's a good thing you managed to survive them as well, now the real fun can begin! Hahaha!" Mirugu joined him in his laughter as she circled around overhead. Two of the Suzaku's moved over and picked up Yusuke and dragged him back over tow the original who had taken a seat in his throne-like chair. They forced him onto his knees a short distance in front of their creator, each holding him up by an arm. The one on the left reached down and propped his head up, so he was facing the original Suzaku.

"Your pathetic human emotions have ruined my carefully thought out plans. If you beg for mercy, I will grant you a swift death. Your precious Keiko will not be so lucky, however. I plan to have my agents in the human world capture her, so that I may feast on her heart personally!" ranted Suzaku.**  
**

Yusuke grinned cockily at him, "So, what if you've got a problem with me! You'll never lay a finger on Keiko, my friends will make sure of that. You can kiss my ass, you son of a bitch."

The spirit detective then proceeded to launch a wad of spit that landed directly on the original's shoe.

"It seems we need do something about this boys rebellious attitudes, my fellow Suzakus." sneered the creator as the two holding him channeled storm of torment energy into his body. The dark haired teen's screams were music to Suzaku's ears, "They're giving you just enough so that you won't pass out, leaving you in a constant state of pain! The torment is only beginning! Hahaha!"**  
**

This was the sight that Naruto and Hiei arrived to as they came out of the stairway. Before either could take a half step towards aiding Yusuke, a Suzaku appeared in front of them, blocking their path.

_'He's fast.'_ thought Hiei.

"It looks like your friends have arrived just in time to witness your demise!" taunted the original Suzaku. "I'll be with you two in just a moment. None of you should have ever come here. Ever since you've entered Maze Castle, you've been living on nothing but borrowed time."

"So, fucking what?" retorted Yusuke as he looked upon his torturer with a deviant gleam in his eye. "I've been living my whole life on borrowed time!"

Both Hiei and Naruto gave each other a nod and launched forward to aid their comrade. The Suzaku in front of them was going to allow it happen. He took sent Hiei flying back with a kick to the ribs and staggered Naruto to his knees with a single punch to the jaw.

"You really think I'm going to let you save him?" questioned the original Suzaku in a mocking tone. "Sorry, it's too late! I'll put him out of his misery momentarily."

Naruto clenched his fists as he glared at him, the screams of Yusuke sending him into a boiling rage as he slowly stood back up.

"Perhaps you should start worrying about yourself." suggested Suzaku as Naruto lowered his eyes to the floor. "Now who's going to be next? Hiei or you, the choices, the choices..."

"It really makes no difference, you're all going die!" chirped Mirugu.

Hiei turned to his comrade in shock as he felt a sudden massive spike in Naruto's energy. As if on command a lightning bolt shot from the sky through the hole in the roof and an aura of blue and white electricity enveloped the infuriated blond.

"Get..." growled Naruto as he clenched his fists again while trembling with rage. He lifted his lowered head, his eyes displaying nothing but pure rage, "GET OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY!"

In the blink of eye, Naruto leveled the Suzaku in front of him with a thunderous kick to the side of the head. Before the other copies even realized what was going on he had rocked the pair of clones holding Yusuke with a roundhouse kick and right handed hay-maker that send them crashing into into the rest of the copies. He streaked past the pile of tangled bodies and nailed the original with a left handed uppercut that sent blood and saliva flying out of his mouth. The blond followed with a rapid fire assault punches straight to the orange haired demon's exposed chest. Suzaku's eyes bulged out of their sockets as Naruto hammered away with reckless abandon.

Hiei couldn't believe what he was seeing,_ 'What's going on? He seems to be getting even stronger!'_

Naruto back-flipped into a powerful double kick that sent Suzaku into the air. The blonde gathered electricity into his fist as he ran up the side of the wall before leaping at Suzaku and slamming it into his face, sending him crashing into the floor. Naruto followed with a vicious elbow drop right into his gut.

Hiei still couldn't believe it,_ 'This is impossible! He was worn down from all our previous battles, but then out of nowhere he explodes with power like I've never seen before!' _

The blonde picked his orange haired counterpart up off the ground and proceeded to spin around rapidly on his heels. After picking up enough momentum, he threw the demon up at an angle before dashing ahead of him and kicking him straight up in the air. Naruto sped up the side of the closest wall_,_ going as high as he possibly could before launching himself down towards the incoming form of Suzaku. Channeling a ton of electricty into his legs, the blond began to somersault, spinning rapidly before executing a vicious heel drop on the last Saint Beast.

** "Thunder Drop!"** Suzaku was sent rocketing back down towards the stone floor, and he smashed right through it into the next story of the tower.

_'Incredible! This is unreal!'_ thought Hiei.

Naruto moved to check on Yusuke, and was relieved to find his fellow spirit detective still among the living. No sooner had he done this, did the beaten and battered form of Suzaku leap out of the hole in the floor and land a short distance away from his copies.

"Don't get to carried away. You simply caught me off guard, there's no way some trash like you is on the same level as me." growled Suzaku. "While your attack was very powerful, it failed to kill me. That will be your undoing."

Suddenly the copies of Suzaku dissolved into spirit energy and returned to his body before proceeded to heal him all his injuries and wounds, **"Prism of Seven Restoration!"**

"Yusuke is still alive, but he needs serious medical attention. Get back him to Urahara's place." ordered Naruto as he turned to Hiei. "You should have enough energy left to make the trip at full speed."

"But what-" began Hiei, only to be cut off by Naruto.

"Just follow my damn orders! Get the fuck out of here now!" yelled Naruto.

Hiei leveled him with a glare, "Fine, but you better not screw this up."

"Do you actually think I'm going to let any of you leave?" sneered Suzaku as he moved to fire a storm of torment.

Before he could even blink, Naruto had embedded his fist in his gut, and stared him down with a defiant gleam in his eye, "You don't have a choice!"

* * *

_**The final battle of Maze Castle has come to ahead. A revitalized Naruto seems up for the challenge as he launches another mighty blow. Is this finally the end of the of Suzaku's assault on the Human World? Find out next time on Naruto Uzumaki: The Youkai Files!  
**_

It has been far too long since I updated this. My apologies, but I got caught up in my other stories. You other author's out there know what I'm talking about. Read, review, and have a good weekend too. PEACE!


	16. All Saints Day IV: Retribution

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything

**Recap:** The battle with the Saint Beasts has reached its climax. While Naruto and Hiei handled the Ice Dragon, Seiryu, Yusuke made his way to the top of Maze Castle to tangle with the leader of the saint beasts, Suzaku. Realizing his chances of victory over the lightning demon were slim, he successfully executed a plan to destroy the Makai whistle and end the threat against Keiko in the human world. Suzaku proceeded to torture the spirit detective in revenge for ruining his plans. Upon he and Hiei's arrival to the top of the final tower, the sight of his comrade's torture pushed Naruto over the edge into a new level of power. Will it be enough to end Suzaku once and for all?

* * *

**All Saints Day IV: Retribution  
**

Hiei gave one last puzzled glance towards Naruto before shaking his head and dashing over to Yusuke. He strapped the dark haired teen over his shoulder before vanishing in a blur down the stairs.

"What's the matter? Feeling a little uncomfortable? Having a little indigestion problem?" mocked Naruto as he twisted his fist even further into Suzaku's gut.

Suzaku narrowed his eyes, "Feeling a little- wait you're making joke. How witty of you."

"Thank you." replied a sneering Naruto.

"Grah!" grunted Suzaku as Naruto extracted his fist from his gut. The orange haired demon staggered back a few feet to regather himself, but Naruto wouldn't allow him the luxury. The blond rushed forward and nailed him with an uppercut to the chin. As he shot up into the air, Naruto suddenly appeared above him, planting an elbow in his gut. Blood spurted out of Suzaku's mouth and he let out as gasp of pain. The blond haired spirit detective wasn't done, he grasped the leader of the Saint Beast's by the shoulders and flipped in midair, using the momentum to slam Suzaku face first into the ground. The brutal combination left him laying there motionless.

"I know that wasn't enough to finish you. Get up!" roared Naruto.

"It seems I'll have to take this fight more seriously. You are far more powerful than Yusuke." grunted Suzaku as he rolled over and leaped to his feet.

"What gave it away?" deadpanned Naruto as he crossed his arms over his chest.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The minute the ogres had dragged the unconscious body of Jiraiya to the infirmary, Minato and Sarutobi had magically reappeared back in Koenma's office to the site of Koenma doing a victory dance as Naruto started kicking some serious ass.

Koenma let out another whoop of joy when Naruto slammed Suzaku face first into the floor, "Incredible! I sure to know how to pick a spirit detective! Naruto shows up to take down the Saint Beast boss, and wham! Explodes with a whole new level of power!"

Kushina scratched the back of her head, "Who knew getting struck by a lightning bolt could do that for you."

"He looks like he's evolving into the second coming of the damn Yondaime Raikage." muttered Minato.

Sarutobi proposed something that really gave them food for thought, "This might only be the beginning. I was just thinking if this armor of his could mimic the tailed beast shroud in terms of power growth..."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Despite the ferocity of Naruto's assault, Suzaku appeared to be relatively unharmed, "This should be interesting. Let's see how you hold up against my more destructive techniques."

The instant Suzaku lifted his hand and starting gathering lightning into it for a Storm of Torment, Naruto appeared in him and clamped down on his wrist painfully. Suzaku let out a gasp of pain as Naruto sneered at him,"You just can't help yourself can you? Mercilessly toying with people's lives like it's all some sick game. You designed this entire castle as a death trap for all who enter, for years you've taken sick pleasure from watching the demise of countless hunters. But that wasn't enough, you had to invade the Human world. Infecting and corrupting the lives of countless people, but it didn't end there. You find that spirit world sent a trio of hunters after you, one a human teen. You decide to amuse yourself by attacking his most precious person! Then when he rises up and thwarts your plans, you decide to torture him to death for your own petty revenge."

Suzaku scoffed and the perceived righteous indignation, "And just who are you supposed to be be? Some righteous defender of justice? Give me a break!"

Naruto snorted and smirked, "Righteous? I don't buy all that black and white bullshit. I'm just a crazy guy who doesn't know how to give up and has a bad temper. A terrible combination for anyone who fucks with my friends."

Suzaku snarled at him as he tried force his release by channeling a storm of torment attack into his hand, but Naruto proved to be unfazed by the assault. When Suzaku upped the intensity of the attack, Naruto suddenly released his hand and the force of Suzaku's own struggling sent him tumbling backwards.

_'Where did he get this kind of power? He wasn't nearly this powerful when facing any of the others. No matter he won't stand up to this...' _thought Suzaku.

The orange haired demon quickly reformed his prism of seven in order to prepare another even more devastating technique. The six copies all gathered around the original to manipulate the lighting forming in his right hand. Unlike his previous attacks, the lightning in his hand was black in color._  
_

"Let's see if you can stand up to my most destructive attack. I should warn you, this technique has been known to incinerate an apparition with one strike. At its maximum power it could probably tear right through your soul! That is why I didn't waste it on Yusuke, his frail human body would have ended my fun far too soon." taunted Suzaku.

Naruto merely stood their impassively, waiting for Suzaku to finish the technique.

"So bold as to not prepare a counter of your own? It will be you're own undoing!" mocked Suzaku.

Naruto's only response was to flare his own electrical aura._  
_

"Let's see how you deal with facing total annihilation!" announced Suzaku as he finished forming his attack. The final Saint Beast cocked his fist back as he charged Naruto, **"Dark Lightning Punch!"**

Naruto mirrored his opponent, charging into the take him head on, punch on punch. Suzaku's eyes lit up glee as he perceived Naruto to be foolishly trying counter his attack with his only own charged up punch. However, at the last second Naruto vanished in a spark of electricity and was replaced by a copy of Suzaku. The orange haired demon gained a look of horror as his attack plunged into the chest of his own copy.

"How..." grunted Suzaku as the lifeless body of his clone fell off his fist and to the ground.

"The substitution technique, an E-ranked jutsu. The most _**basic**_ of shinobi techniques." taunted Naruto.

Suzaku was fed with with Naruto making a mockery of him, "Wipe that smug look off your face. You have yet to witness the depths of my true power!"

Suzaku dissolved his copies back into spirit energy and returned them to his body. His body pulsed as the energy returned and restored him to perfect health. He raised his arm towards the ceiling and another bolt of lightning shot down from the thunderstorm and enveloped him, raised his energy level even higher than before. An intense aura of yellow lightning now coursed around his body.

Suzaku smirked at him, "Do you finally see how outclassed you are?"

Not to be out done, Naruto shifted into attack stance and let out a roar. His energy summoned a blue and white lightning bolt of his own, his electrical aura matching the intensity of Suzaku's.

"About time you turned it all the way up." casually retorted Naruto.

Suzaku frowned before he suddenly blurred forward and nailed Naruto in the side of the face with a super-charged punch. To his surprise, Naruto was completely unfazed by his attack, his face and body only turning slightly from the force of the blow. The blond just starred back at him blankly with his head cocked to the side. Suzaku growled in frustration as he pulled his fist back for another blow. However, just before he was about to bring his fist forward, Naruto plunged his own fist right into his gut. Suzaku arms dropped as he gasped from the pain, instinctively grasping himself around the abdomen as blood trickled out the bottom of his mouth while he staggered backwards. His eyes were widened in shock, as he was unable to comprehend the amount of pain he was experiencing. Naruto just stared at him impassively until he finally managed to gather himself from the blow. Suzaku roared as he lunged forward again, but Naruto once again proved to be too fast and too powerful as he landed a left-handed hay-maker to Suzaku's face. The orange haired demon manged to brace himself from falling completely to the ground, but when he tried to rise to his feet, he collapsed to his knees. He tried to stand once again, but only succeeded in falling back on his ass and coughing up some blood.

"I don't understand..." gasped Suzaku. "He only landed two punches on me at full power...how could I be so weakened?"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Koenma's pacifier nearly fell out of his mouth, "What in the world just happened?"

"I don't want to jinx him, but I think he just ended the whole thing." replied Kushina, her eyes widened in a comical fashion.

"In two punches no less..." muttered Sarutobi.

Minato just shook his head at the absurdity of it all, "It would normally say it ain't over till it's over, but I think you're right honey."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Naruto sneered at him, "What's the matter? Not having fun anymore?"

Suzaku only response was to roll forward to his knees. He couldn't understand where it all went wrong, his plan was going so perfect, and then it all blew up in his face. Even Mirugu had apparently seen the writing on the wall and fled the castle. _'How can this be...'_

"You were have such good time when you were torturing the life out of Yusuke!" roared Naruto as he kicked his downed body across the floor. "Let's see how much you like it when I'm sucking the life out of you!"

Naruto grabbed Suzaku by the the throat and mouth and lifted him off the ground. The blond haired demon struggled from within his grasps, raising his hands up to grab Naruto's wrist and try and brake his hold but it was to no avail. Suzaku's body started to fluctuate with energy as felt his strength and power start to leave him. The leader of the Saint Beasts quickly grasped the significance of what was going on, Naruto was leeching away his power into his own reserves, taking his strength as his own. His struggling soon ceased as his arms and entire body went limp and he fell unconscious. Within seconds his life force was gone as well as Naruto's Jagan eyes suddenly glowed as the blond instinctively drained the neuro-electric energy from the deceased Suzaku's neurons synapses in his brain. Information flooded into Naruto's mind, granting him access to the secrets of Suzaku's lightning manipulation abilities. Once the brain drain was complete, Naruto's eyes lost their glow and he dropped the corpse in his hands to the ground. Taking one last glance around the area, Naruto summoned a small army of clones and they all dispersed from the top of the tower.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

A few minutes later Naruto had reached the roads leading away from Maze Castle and his last clone dispelled. For some reason the clone passed on the sudden urge to smoke a cigarette. The blond shook off the random feeling as he turned and gave one last look at Maze Catsle before flipping his sunglasses back on and continuing forward. He formed a seal with his left hand and whispered, **"Boom."**

Multiple explosions rocked Maze Castle as the entire compound was set a blaze and began crumbling to the in the background as the blond casually strolled on ahead despite all the chaos ensuing behind him.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Bastard Suzaku must have been a smoker." grunted Naruto as he took a drag off a cigarette. He swiped a pack and a lighter from Urahara Shoten after his return to the city.

He currently sat on the rooftops across the street from Kuwabara's house with Hiei, looking over the window to Kuwabara's room where Yusuke laid resting inside. He'd managed to intervene in time to prevent any permanent damage to his friend, and that fact that he came so close to dieing was still ate at the back of his mind a little. However, the strongest emotion coursing through him was pride for Yusuke.

_'So defiant, never giving in, never giving up...it's a little nostalgic.'_ he mused.

"Answer me this, why would he give his life up to save the girl if she would only be sad if he died in the end?" muttered Hiei. "Your human sentiments and emotions make no sense."

Naruto shrugged, "It's not something you can really understand without experiencing it. Girls, regardless of species, make guys do crazy things. You'll figure it out eventually."

Hiei scoffed, "Fat chance of that happening."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

If the time following Naruto's absence at Youkai Academy, rumors had spread all over school about him pickling the PSC. Rumor had it that he walked right into public safety commission headquarters, beat down Kuyou within and inch of his life and read all the members the riot act. With the school police actually doing their jobs the right way, everyone just assumed the school's number one punk had scarred them straight so he could have a cover for his own nefarious activities. This was further supported by his nearly week and a half long disappearance for the Saint Beasts case.

As the blond darted across the academy rooftops he a spotted a familiar duo peeking in on the windows to the girls changing room. Quietly sneaking up on Haiji and Gin, he climbed across the wall until he was right in between the two.

"What's shakin' mutt-boy?" he whispered to Gin as he patted them on the back.

The spying pair nearly jumped out of their skin, "AH! Don't do that!"

Their shouts were rewarded with shrieks of 'Pervert!' from inside the changing room, forcing the trio to flee to the rooftop of another building, Naruto laughing up a storm along the way.

Once the coast was clear Gin leveled him with a glare, "That was some prime research, you ruined! What gives man!"

Naruto gave him a deadpan look, "I return from an extended absence and this is my reception? No, 'Hey Naruto!, no "Welcome back Man!', only 'You're cutting into my peeping time!' That cuts me deep man, real deep."

Haji shrugged, "To even show a hint of emotional attachment to you mere comings and goings, would be a clear violation of the bro' code."

Gin nodded in agreement, "Here, here!"

Naruto smirked, "I can live with that."

Naruto leaned up against the side of a railing, only to pull back as he felt it was wet. He looked to down see splotches of red paint on the cuff of his sleeve and jacket, "You know, they should put a fresh paint sign up here..."

"Naruto Uzumaki, the legendary punk of our esteemed Academy! Finally back from the underground, I see." shouted a tall muscular figure as he leaped onto roof while lifting dumbbells.

Naruto stared at him blankly before turning to Gin and Haji, "Who the fuck is this guy?"

"Rikiishi Chopper of the pro wrestling club, aka wanna be tough guy." replied Haji.

Rikiishi ignored the barb, "I got a bone to pick with you Uzumaki! We wrestlers seek the ultimate strength and I've been wanting a piece of Kuyou's hide for a long time now. Defeating him would have taken my strength up to a whole new level! If you really beat Kuyou that means, that you're my new target. Ive been training..."

_'I think I'm going have dango today, lots and lots of dango...'_ Naruto had long since tuned out Chopper's long winded speech.

"...so, I challenge you Naruto Uzumaki!" finished Rikiishi.

Naruto returned from his dango cravings for the moment, "Huh? Did you say something?"

There was a moment of silence before Rikiishi pointed an accusing finger at Naruto with anime tears pouring down his face, "Curse you and you're hip attitude Uzumaki! It seems I must level up in order you to take me seriously. Very well, I will face more opponents before I return to challenge you. You are now my number one rival!"

Naruto, Gin, Haji gave each other dumbfounded looks as he sprinted away to parts unknown, "What the fuck just happened?"

After a moment they all nodded in agreement, "Absolutely nothing."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Moka twirled the pencil in her hand absentmindedly for moment, before going back to writing down the equations on the chalk board. The freshman math teacher, Kagome Ririko paused momentarily to flip to the next page in her lecture notes before continuing to explain the equations on the board, "If we take this next step by comparing the coefficient of x squared back to equation A, we can see that this is an easy way to find a convenient solution and also understand the coefficient-"

The brunette beauty was cut off as the door to her classroom flew open and Naruto strolled into the room like he owned the place, "Sorry, I'm late got held up by a little trouble, nothing I couldn't handle though."

The splatters of red paint of the sleeve of his shirt and jacket immediately set off a bunch of murmurs and whisperings from the students as the rumor mill kicked up with speculations of the various nefarious deeds he might have actually been up to. The interruption slightly annoyed Ririko-sensei, the adjusting of her glasses and rubbing at the mole on her cheek broadcasting her irritation, "If you can give me the solution to this problem, you can take your seat."

Unfortunately for her, she was standing in an unfortunate position relative to the chalkboard.

"A times B equals Double D!" joked Naruto, eliciting a round of laughter from his classmates.

Ririko-sensei narrowed her eyes at her wayward student, "First you miss classes for over a week, then you show up late. How exactly do you plan to pass the semester test coming up?"

Naruto shrugged, "Swipe the answer key from the teacher's lounge the night before."

She let out a sigh of annoyance, "See me after school today, Uzumaki-san."

Naruto merely shook his head as he took his seat.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

After class ended, Moka executed a flying glomp on Naruto the minute they were out the door. She was utterly thrilled that he had finally returned to school. Even she could only take so much of Kurumu and Yukari's bickering. Attaching herself to his arm, they strolled down the halls to the cafeteria.

"I have a feeling I'm not going to be able to cheat for this next exam, so can you help me study?" asked Naruto.

"Help you study? Sure, I don't think it will be too much trouble. Just come to my room tonight..." she suddenly trailed off with a worried look.

Naruto gave her a concerned look, "What's the matter?"

"It's been so long!" exclaimed Moka as she smashed herself up against him and inhaled his scent. "If we study together I can drink more of your blood!"

"I swear, every time I come back from one of these missions, you're cravings get even stronger." muttered Naruto. "Of course, I have been getting stronger after each of these damn cases, so I wonder if that's it?"

Moka ignored his ramblings as she drank her fill from his neck. Unfortunately their 'bonding' time was interrupted by someone Naruto was quickly considering a pain in the ass.

"Hold it right there!" yelled Ririko-sensei as she marched over to them."Not only do you not show up to class, you waste the rest of your time fooling around with girls."

"And how is what I do in my free time any of your concern?" quipped Naruto.

"Your bad attitude only confirms what I suspected earlier. You're insecure about your scholastic abilities." accused Ririko-sensei.

"I'm not insecure, I've just never taken it that seriously before. But, if it's bothering you that much I'll study extra hard with Moka." replied Naruto as he rubbed his face against her cheek, causing her to blush.

Ririko-sensei wasn't buying it, "No, you are in need of my special after school lessons that I was going to recommend to you later today. Studying with your girlfriend will only leave you tempted to fool around like you were just about to."

"That's not true! I can help Naruto-kun study!" exclaimed Moka.

Kagome blew her off as she walked up to Naruto and placed her hand on his cheek in an intimate fashion, "Studying is a wonderful thing you know? Sensei will teach you everything about studying and much, much more..."

Naruto was caught off guard, _'Whoa, she smells really nice...'_

Moka narrowed her eyes at the teacher, not liking where this was going one bit._  
_

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Poor Naruto-kun! Stuck taking after school lessons with that old hag Ririko-sensei!" purred Kurumu as she cradled his head into her chest. The minute they entered the club room, the succubus had attached herself to her destined one. Moka was too depressed about being deprived her own study sessions with Naruto to even put up a fight against her for doing it.

"I have no idea how she suckered me in..." mumbled Naruto as he momentarily succumbed to the softness of her chest.

"I guess it's not that surprising." she admitted with a sigh. "She's my homeroom teacher and she's always been a little weird. She loves teaching and is really passionate about making sure everyone learns what she has to teach. She tends to have a bit of a one track mind when it comes to teaching and goes overboard with it."

"Maybe she's not so bad then..." muttered Naruto.

"Plus, just because she has a nice rack, she get's all the boys' attention in class! It's not fair! Mine are bigger!" ranted Kurumu.

"Ha! You're just jealous!" taunted Yukari.

"Meh, if I was going to go the teacher's pet route, I prefer my own homeroom teacher." muttered Naruto.

Naruto's secret teacher fantasy preferences where ignored as Yukari and Kurumu delved into their usual bickering about whether big boobs or small boobs were better. They eventually reached the point of feeling each others chests up with pink blushes adorning their cheeks, before Naruto broke it up with a slight bit of reluctance.

"There's nothing wrong with after school studies. We do have summer vacation coming up after exams!" reminded Yukari.

"Vacation? AWESOME!" cheered Kurumu and Naruto as they started to dance around. "Vacation! Vacation! Vacation! Vacation!"

Yukari quickly put a damper on their celebratory dance, "That is only if you do well on exams. Anyone scoring under a fifty on the exams has to attend summer school. So you must study now, or no vacation for you!"

Kurumu deflated a little bit, but Naruto was now properly motivated by the prospect of free time, "If it ensures me summer vacation, I'll suffer through Ririko-sensei's extra lessons. No way in hell I'm going to summer school!"

Moka pouted, "I was looking forward to spending time together while studying. You just got back..."

Naruto gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder, "Studying together would be nice, but I'd rather spend time together during Summer Vacation. Summer Vacation Pact! We all work hard so we can have an awesome vacation together!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

_'Maybe she's not so bad, just a bit quirky like Nekonome-sensei...'_ thought Naruto later that day as he approached the conference room that housed her study sessions.

He knocked on the door, "Yo! Ririko-sensei! It's Naruto from freshman Class 3!"

Finding the door unlocked, he opened it and walked inside. To say the room was arranged oddly would be an understatement. It was if she'd set up for some sort of Halloween party. Jack o'Lanterns and three piece candle holders were all over the place, illuminating the room along with a candle lit chandelier. Even more shocking was her S&M style outfit complete with a leather miniskirt, garters, and nylon net stockings.

_'Somehow this is all Ero-sennin's fault. I just know it...'_ thought the stunned blond.

Ririko-sensei smiled at him, "I'm glad you came Naruto-kun."

"What in the world are you wearing!" shouted Naruto while pointing an accusing finger at her while pinching his nose closed.

She blushed and giggled, "Oh, it's just a little something to motivate you in your studies!"

"Bah! You were the one lecturing me about getting distracted while studying with Moka and you show up in this weird stuff! Give me a freakin' break! Hah! Who knew sensei was into this kind of strange stuff." complained Naruto in annoyance.

She frowned, "Strange? There is nothing strange about this. I am the sensei you are the student, you will respect me so that you may learn properly. A good student will serve their sensei well."

Naruto was completely lost, "Huh?"

She blushed and smiled again as she adjusted her glasses, "My after school lessons are very strict! But it is all for your own good, Naruto-kun! Education is a wonderful thing, you'll see!"

Naruto was still lost, _'What in world have I gotten myself into? Kurumu was right about her being weird...there's that nice smell again...'_

Naruto went into a slight daze as she guided him to a desk to begin a lesson that would delve deep into the night. Naruto wasn't the only one putting extra hours, Moka stayed up late in her dorm room working hard herself. The pink haired vampire carefully analyzed the math textbook on her desk, filling the notebook on her desk with excruciating detail.

Her motivations were clear, _'I am not a distraction to Naruto-kun. I can help him too, he asked me to. I won't let him down!'  
_

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

As the date of examinations neared, everyone put in more hard work to prepare and ensure their summer vacation. Well, everyone except Kurumu who decided to procrastinate for as long as possible, but even she reached her limit a week later. She barged into the newspaper club room and got down on her knees in front of the clubs resident genius.

"Yukari, please help me study!" pleaded Kurumu.

The witch shook her head, "No chance! It's too late for you." Suddenly Yukari found herself tied up and being dragged into the hallway by the succubus. "Hey! What are you doing!"

"You will help me out! I'm worried about these tests!" replied Kurumu. Not watching where she was going she nearly bumped into Naruto.

"Oh, sorry Naruto-kun." she apologized.

He gave no reaction other than chanting math formulas under his breath.

Yukari quirked an eyebrow, "That's weird. He's chanting really advanced math equations and formulas, stuff we haven't been taught yet."

"You've been such a good studier Naruto-kun!" exclaimed Kurumu as she glomped him and nestled his head into her bosom. To her shock, he showed no reaction to her breasts like he usually would. He merely slipped out of her grasp and kept on trudging along.

She also noticed that he wasn't wearing his sunglasses and had a glazed look in his eyes, "Okay something is really wrong here..."

The math chanting Naruto continued down the hall and a few steps later he almost ran into Moka as she stopped in front of him.

"Have you been studying hard Naruto-kun?" asked Moka.

He gave no response to her and simply stood there with the glazed look in his eyes.

"You're always working hard with your outside job, so I decided to help you no matter what sensei said. I made study guide with my strategies for the test for you. So, here." she held it out towards him and smiled. "With these notes, the semester test will be no problem for you, so use them well!"

Moka was expecting a lively response from the blond, but he continued to just stand there like a zombie.

"I put a lot of time and effort into to make sure it as really good." she added with a blush. She finally realized something was off after once again receiving no reaction, "Is there something wrong?"

Slowly Naruto's arm started move up to take her study guide, but Moka's notebook was suddenly snatched away by Ririko-sensei. The math teacher frowned at her pink-haired student, "What do you think you are doing interfering? Why can't you stop your meddling in my teaching?"

"But Ririko-sensei..." pleaded Moka.

Ririko-sensei quickly flipped through her notes before rudely flinging the study guide back at Moka, knocking her to the ground, "Stop trying to tempt my student away from his studies. It's pathetic to resort to something like this. Come along Naruto-kun. It's time for more studying."

The brunette teacher wrapped an arm around him and lead him off the conference with Naruto putting up no resistance to her.

Moka was stunned by how it all unraveled so fast, _'What just happened?'_

Kurumu walked over and yanked Moka up to her feet shaking her from her thoughts, "Something is definitely wrong, you got no reaction either."

Moka turned to her, still confused, "No reaction?"

Kurumu narrowed her eyes at the retreating form of her homeroom teacher, "I don't trust that lady, something is up and I'm going to get the bottom of it."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

As soon as they reached the conference room to begin another 'study session', Ririko sat Naruto at a desk to begin his work while she removed her blouse to reveal her 'special' teaching outfit underneath.

She gave him a smile as she tossed her top aside, "Let's work hard today again, okay Naruto-kun!"

Naruto suddenly froze up and started muttering, "Ku...ru...mu...Mo...ka..."

Ririko composure slipped for a moment as a sneer formed on her face. It quickly subsided as she secret more pheromones and draped herself over his back, "You naughty boy, doing such a thing when Sensei is doing so much for you. Forget about those girls! You only listen to sensei-now!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Yukari, Moka, and Kurumu reconvened in the club room to go over the situation with Ririko-sensei.

Yukari had the bulk of the intel, "I always thought there was something strange about Ririko-sensei's lessons, but until now it was all just speculation. There are several boys in my class taking her lessons too. They all suddenly got smarter after the lessons, but they also started acting like her servants. It was as if they were brainwashed."

Kurumu's eyes narrowed, "So that explains why he was acting so weird."

Moka frowned, "Her lessons have been keeping him with her late at night."

Yukari nodded, "Yeah, she is totally doing weird things with Naruto-kun."

"That bitch!" exclaimed Kurumu and Moka before they both vanished in a blur towards the conference room.

Yukari giggled, "I almost feel sorry for you sensei, but this will make an excellent headline for our next edition! And you deserve it for being creepy..."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Somehow those girls have been able to penetrate the haze of your mind. No matter, some more proper instruction will have you back in sensei's good graces." giggled Ririko as she stepped forward out of the shadows, revealing herself to be in her true from, a Lamia.

Her upper body remained the same, however her lower body was now the long thick scaly body of a serpent. At the end of her tail was a flower like bulb that opened up and could clamp down like a multiple petaled Venus flytrap. Once connected to the head of a student, bio-electric nodules within the bulb of her tail would send surges of neuro electricity directly into the brain to feed information and establish her control over their minds. The power of the Jagan normally would have protected Naruto from becoming her mind slave. However, her secretion of potent pheromones clouded his senses and his body was natural receptive to the bio electric feed of information into his brain. Her powers were perfectly suited for bypassing his natural defenses.

She giggled as her tail clamped over the top of his head and the neuro feed began, "By feeding everything directly to your mind, you will think of nothing but your studies and your beloved sensei!"

Naruto's eyes glowed white as his brain absorbed the knowledge, Ririko-sensei wiped away the drool leaking out the corner of his mouth with a napkin, "You simply take to my feedings like none other Naruto-kun. Such a good student! Yes, this is indeed for the best."

"LIKE HELL IT IS!" shouted Moka and Kurumu as they busted open the door to the room. "GET AWAY FROM NARUTO-KUN!"

The arrival of the two girls completely shattered her calm and collected facade, "Why are you interrupting us? We are in the middle of a very important lesson!"

"I'm not buying it lady! You're trying to turn him into your man slave!" shouted Kurumu. "Not on my watch!"

"How dare you say that I'm distracting Naruto-kun when you parade around like that!" added Moka.

"You two imbeciles can't comprehend the complications of teaching. I am putting everything I have into educating my students! I won't let you meddlers interfere with us anymore!" declared Ririko-sensei. She hugged Naruto against her bosom as her tail continued to feed him knowledge, "Can't you see the deep bond of trust we have as sensei and student? Education is so wonderful, you'll never take this away from us."

Kurumu nails lengthened and her wings sprouted from her back, as she transformed and sliced at the tail of Ririko, "Get away from him!"

The attack connected and a deep gash formed in the middle of her tail as Ririko was forced to retract it from its connection with Naruto. Moka capitalized on the opportunity and shoved the teacher away from Naruto.

"You stupid girls!" sneered Ririko. "He is mine! I will prove it to you! Strike them down! I will turn them into my servants!"

This command was the wrong one to issue. It finally shocked Naruto back into his senses and he started to fight back against her control.

"It's the only way! It must be done! Take them down now!" she ordered again.

"No! I refuse!" growled Naruto as he grasped at his hair and struggled against her control. The blond gritted his teeth as he grunted and growled, fighting the possession of his mind and body.

"What! You're not foolish enough to dare to disobey your sensei! Now do as I say!" commanded Ririko again.

Naruto collapsed to his knees as he fought against her, "No! Get out of my head! I've already told you, I won't! You won't control me anymore!"

"I am you're sensei! I am doing this for your own good! You will thank me for this later brat! Now obey me!" growled Ririko as she clamped her tail over his head to reassert stronger control over him. Unfortunately for her, not even that was working anymore. Naruto started to leak energy from his body as he fought her even harder. The blond wasn't going to give in.

"You can invade my mind! You can invade my body!" grunted Naruto as he staggered to his feet. "BUT YOU'LL NEVER TURN ME AGAINST MY FRIENDS!"

Naruto exploded with a massive burst of power, sending Ririko's tail flying off him as his electrical aura sprung to life. The blond roared as he unleashed another massive surge of energy to fully drive off her control. A stray bolt of electricity discharged at Moka and nailed her Rosario, causing it to fall off. Once Naruto's massive release of energy died down, he fell unconscious from the mental strain of breaking free from the possession. Kurumu rushed over to catch him before he hit the ground. Ririko-sensei didn't have time to contemplate the lose of Naruto as she had to deal with another massive release of energy, this time from the emergence of inner Moka. Unluckily for her, she was still too pissed of about losing control of Naruto to realize the magnitude of the situation.

"How dare you Naruto! You dare to rebel against me!" screamed Ririko. "And you stupid girls! You've ruined everything! You will pay for this! Students should never disobey their sensei!"

Moka was unfazed by her rant.

"Don't mistake me for one of your students. You're just another power drunk fool! How dare you steal for me!" Moka grabbed her by the tail and yanked her body towards her before leveling her into next week with her trademark kick. "Know your place!"

The powerful blow to the face sent blood spurting out of her mouth and imbedded the unconscious math teacher into the conference room wall. Flipping her hair back, Moka scoffed at the woman before turning and walking over to Kurumu and Naruto. The blue haired girl sat on top of one the desk with Naruto's head cradled in her lap.

"I new you're weren't the type to be taken in by her charms." murmured Kurumu as she stroked Naruto's hair.

She was oblivious as the silver haired Moka walked up to her, until the vampire suddenly leaned in as if to take a bite. Kurumu tried to pull him away, "Hey, what are you-"

Moka ignored her as she leaned down and licked away some blood from a scratch on the side of his face, "You've gotten much stronger since you've been away. Our next spar should be even more interesting."

With that said she replaced the Rosario, and reverted back to her pink haired form, collapsing onto Kurumu's shoulder. Kurumu paid her no mind, content to run her hands through the golden locks of her destined one.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

With her extreme methods of instruction revealed and compounded with her several previous infractions of the same nature coming to light, Ririko-sensei was placed on Suspension for two months and sent to mandatory therapy sessions. Thanks to the nature of his abilities, Naruto was able to maintain the knowledge force fed into his brain. He and Moka turned their attentions to aiding the desperate Kurumu, who was glad for any sort of assistance after waiting until the very last minute to start studying for her tests.

"So how do you think you're going to do?" Moka asked Naruto as she walked with him and Kurumu to class on the first day of exams.

Naruto smiled, "Well, I think I'll be fine. Especially with math, plus I can always resort to ulterior methods in other subjects."

Moka quirked an eyebrow, "I thought you were going to take schoolwork more seriously?"

Naruto shrugged, "I was until I realized that my new means of acquiring knowledge are for more effective than school. Who cares about school anyway. It still psyched about how you two kicked Ririko-sensei's ass! That was awesome!"

As he wrapped around both of them, they turned their heads away and blushed, "Well it was nothing..."

Being so close to his neck, after long Moka couldn't resist and sneaked in for a taste of his blood.

"Hey, he needs his blood so he can do well on his test!" Kurumu pressed his other arm deep into her bosom. "Don't worry about that mean old vampire, Kurumu will comfort you."

With both girls draped all over him, Naruto returned to his happy place after long absence. It didn't last long as a sharp feminine voice brought him back to the real world, "It seems my predecessors notes on you were spot on. Spends too much time flirting with girls and not enough time studying."

Naruto froze as he recognized that voice and turned around. "Botan!" he exclaimed with a nervous laugh. "Good to see you. Uh, don't tell me..."

The blue haired spirit detective assistant was sporting stylish blue pantsuit that matched the color of her hair. Botan smiled at the trio, "Yes, I will be filling as your math instructor."

Naruto let out a sigh of relief, "Good. I thought you were about to tell me I had a new case."

She grinned, "You do. You start the first day of summer vacation."

Naruto threw his hands up towards the skies in exasperation, "WHY!"

A look of understanding and then disappointment flashed across Moka's face as she figured out the connection between Botan and Naruto before realizing the impact of her words on their summer vacation. Kurumu kept shooting her suspicious glances as she poked Naruto in shoulder, "Um, who is she?"

"Technically my assistant, but in reality more like my boss." grumbled Naruto.

* * *

So we're dipping back into the R+V world for a while and Botan's coming along for the ride. You know the drill, hit that review button!


	17. Bringing Down the House

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything

* * *

**Bringing Down the House  
**

The time of exams came and went with Yukari, Moka, and Naruto passing easily and Kurumu passing by the skin of her teeth. As the three girls celebrated the prospects of summer vacation, Naruto was dragged into his homeroom classroom by Botan to discuss the details of his next case.

"There's a city in the human world where people have been vanishing for unexplained reasons. We've pinpointed it down to a location for you and Kurama to investigate." informed Botan.

"That's it? Why can't Yusuke deal with this?" questioned Naruto.

Botan glared at him, "Because he has his own problems to deal with in his own city. This trouble is happening in Fujimi City."

"Yare, yare, this is just how I wanted to spend my summer vacation..." groaned Naruto.

"Yes, how sad." dryly replied Botan with a thin smile.

Nekonome-sensei pouted, "Aww, I wanted him to go with the rest of the newspaper club for our research trip to the human world! But, I guess real work comes first..."

"Actually, his mission is in the same area where you planned the camping trip. So he'll still be able to attend." reminded Botan.

"Yeah..." Naruto suddenly shot up out of his seat and pointed an accusing finger at her. "Wait a minute! When did you get here and how do know about my real job!"

Nekonome-sensei just patted him on the head and smiled, "It's sensei's job to know these things!"

He just turned and gave Botan a deadpan look, "You told her everything didn't you."

The blue haired shinigami just turned away from him and whistled innocently.

"Are you crazy? You are letting her send them to camp out in the exact location of my next case! Are you trying to blow my cover or what!" yelled Naruto. "Not mention how easily they will be dragged into what ever comes up. Hold on! You can't have this trip. Except for me, students aren't allowed to visit the human world until after graduation."

Nekonome-sensei patted him on the head again, "If your sensei approves, then everything is Okay."

Naruto was skeptical to say the least, "Right..."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The day of departure arrived quickly for everyone. The girls were all prepared for the trip and waiting on Naruto's arrival at the bus stop. Back at the male dorms, when Naruto finished dressing himself in his mission gear, he took one last look in the mirror before he pulled up his face mask. A grin formed underneath his mask as he recalled the time spent trying to peel the mask of Kakashi's face, "You know what difference is between you and me, sensei? I make this look good."

Down at the bus stop the girls were starting to get a bit impatient. Kurumu kept shooting annoyed glances at Moka, jealous of the sun dress she'd picked out for the trip. Inwardly she cursed the girl, knowing there was no way Naruto wouldn't take notice of her looking as good as she did.

_'Damn! I can't believe I missed out on a chance to show off in normal clothes!'_ thought Kurumu. _'I'll have to find a way to even the score...whoa!'_

Her mind completely shutdown as she caught sight of Naruto wearing his battle gear. Normally in his black suit, he possessed a cool handsome appearance. But this look took him to a whole new level. Moka and Yukari fared no better than her, but they were all on the same wavelength.

_'He normally looks good, but this outfit...'_ thought Moka.

_'...he's some kind of epic smokin' hot badass!'_ thought Yukari and Kurumu.

"Is there something on my face?" muttered Naruto. Reaching up, he felt a bit foolish as he touched his face. When he got closer he finally saw the pink coloring of their cheeks and it dawned on him, _'Yep! I make this look real good!'_

Adding a little strut to his gait, he discretely took a good luck and Moka in her dress and was glad he had the face mask to conceal his blush. Eventually the girls came back to their senses, which resulted in an three-way glomp and a lot of arguing. Most would find all the bickering annoying, but he didn't mind at all. He'd take girls plastering themselves all over his body and bickering with each other in place of constantly getting yelled at and getting his skull bashed in any day. Eventually the Bus Driver pulled up to the Bus Stop and opened the doors. They found both Botan and Nekonome-sensei already inside as they came aboard. As he settled into his seat, Naruto noticed the Bus Driver staring at him through his rear view mirror. Annoyed, the blond flipped him off.

The Bus Driver simply took a puff of his cigar and let out a chuckle before smiling his trademark creepy smile,"Hehehe...Buckle up! Once we leave this tunnel, it's goodbye to the supernatural world for a while!"_  
_

"This vacation is going to rock!" exclaimed Kurumu as she pumped her fist._  
_

"Vacation for you girls, work for me." corrected Naruto.

"Yeah, what's the deal with Botan-sensei and this job of yours?" the succubus inquired.

Knowing she wouldn't buy it, he opted for a slightly vague variation of the truth, "I am a member of a organization the policies supernatural activity in the human world."

"Very funny." deadpanned Kurumu.

Now he opted for the lie that technically was not a lie, "I am a shinobi."

A look of understanding passed across her face, "You know, that makes a lot of sense."

Yukari nodded in agreement, "Yeah, shinobi do not have a lot of freedom. It must be tough working from the shadows as clans of professional ninjas. It's said that shinobi originating in both the Demon and Supernatural World have been passing down the mantle for many generations. They usually only work under the highest bid of the most extravagant individuals. No wonder you have leave all the time to do missions for your clan."

Moka kept her glance towards the window, _'He technically is a shinobi, just not the type you're thinking of.'_

"Still, I don't really want to go to the stupid human world." muttered Yukari.

Kurumu rolled her eyes in annoyance, "Don't tell me you're wimping out now. I guess you are just a baby after all..."

"Someone with the mental capacity of a cow like you wouldn't understand!" yelled Yukari.

Kurumu poked her in the chest, "You don't see Moka freaking out!"

"Actually, I am a bit worried about going back there. My time in the human world up through middle school...hating humans because of all that time...I hope this won't bring up too many bad memories from back then." responded Moka before turning to Naruto. "But, I do have high hopes that this time will be different."

Naruto tried to dissuade her way of thinking, "You girls are much tougher than you think. The human world will be no trouble at all even if I wasn't with you. Have some confidence in yourselves!"

Yukari and Moka took a moment to let it sink in, but Kurumu spoiled the silence before they could really let Naruto's words sink in.

"Who cares about the stupid Human world anyway! I'm glad I get to spend time with my Naruto-kun!" squealed Kurumu as she reached over her seat and pulled Naruto's head into her chest.

Moka shoved her off of him, "What do you mean your Naruto-kun! He is not your property!"

"Yeah, at best he's on loan for a couple years until I come into my own!" added Yukari.

Both Moka and Kurumu turned their glares on the young witch, "You conniving little brat..."

Knowing where this was headed, Naruto discretely moved a few seat up the bus to where Botan was sitting and writing on some papers. Leaning in over the seat and over her shoulder to try and see what she was working on, "So...what's all this?"

Botan gave him an annoyed look before turning away from him, "Hmph!"

"What! Now that you're a sensei, you're too good to associate with me? Is that it? Fine! I see how it is! I don't need you! I can do just fine with me, myself and I!" The blond made a scene of walking to the back of the bus and summoning some shadow clones to join him in a set of seats that faced each other.

The clone to the left of Naruto pulled out a deck of cards and started shuffling. The clone across from him whipped out a small notepad and flipped through it, "Alright last time was Egyptian war, this one's a coin flip for BS or Spades. Boss, you call in the air."

Watching out of the corner of her eye, the blue haired grim reaper had a hard time keeping a straight face at his antics.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

After reaching the human world Botan and Nekonome-sensei exited the bus in the city. The bus continued on before dropping off the girls at the cabin serving as a rest point for them during the trip when doing research. It was at the base of some hills and mountains close to the site Naruto was supposed to be investigating as well. After helping them unload their gear from the bus, Naruto boarded to bus to catch a ride up the mountain. When he boarded the bus again, he found Kurama sitting up front, casually reading the newspaper as if he had been there all along.

"Have you been here the whole time?" asked Naruto.

"No, I was waiting for you here." replied Kurama as he turned the page of the paper. "I got on when you got off."

"Very sneaky sir." joked Naruto.

"He-he-heee!" creepily laughed the bus driver as he started up the bus. "All these people being spirited away, quite poetic don't you think? They even wrote about it in the paper."

"In the paper? What does it say?" inquired Naruto.

"They recently started construction on the site and that's when people started vanishing. There's a local legend about a witch once living on the hill in the area. From that rumors and speculation have spread of an old witches curse being the responsible for the disappearances of people. Nearly thirty people have vanished in the past two months." explained Kurama. "Which means that there probably is an actual witch around here somewhere that is either responsible or knows what is responsible."

Naruto shook his head at the absurdity of it all, "Let me guess, more people have started showing up try and solve the great mystery. It's a big tourist attraction now."

Kurama chuckled, "Yes, the scenery is supposed to be quite beautiful with a large sunflower field. People have been flocking to see the field before it's gone and because of interests in the occult."

"What kind of idiots would walk right into a dangerous area to sight see?" muttered Naruto.

"Woohoo! Witch Hill here we come!" shouted some girls in a car as they sped pass the bus.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Back at the cabin Kurumu was taking a look at the same newspaper while Yukari and Moka were still getting settled in.

"Hey! Take a look at this! There's a well known spot in the human world near here. Apparently it's a mysterious place where people have been spirited away!" exclaimed Kurumu.

Moka peered at the paper over her shoulder, "It's probably just a publicity stunt. That place looks like nothing more than a sunflower garden."

"Yeah, and they're starting construction there. They must be trying to get people to come and see the scenery before it is gone. You shouldn't believe everything you read in the newspaper Kurumu." chided Yukari.

"Of course you would say that. They say a witch is behind this." quipped Kurumu. "It is your kind that kidnaps humans and does weird stuff to them right?"

"And blow up dolls like you are so much better." retorted Yukari.

"Hey, you think Naruto's case has something to do with this?" suggested Moka.

Kurumu shrugged, "Nah, It's probably a hoax. But, let's go check it out anyway. I bet this is the investigation sensei wanted us to do for the club."

"No way! That's a stupid idea! This is the human world! All sorts of bad things can happen out there!" exclaimed Yukari. "Look! My tarot cards say this is an ill-fate trip."

"Ugh! Don't be such a baby! You've been whining ever since we left. Are you really that much of a scaredy cat?" taunted Kurumu.

Yukari was momentarily startled by her words, but this was quickly replaced by a sense of anger, "Yo-you..you stupid cow! I'm not afraid of anything! You'll see!"

Moka glared at Kurumu, "What did you do that for!"

Kurumu grinned, "It got her to come didn't it? If she's pist at me, then she's not caught up with being scared of everything."

Moka sighed, conceding her point, "You didn't have to be so mean about it though. Come on, she's running up the mountain!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Moka's not the only one with a troubled past with humans. I grew up seeing them as my enemies and I've hated a lot of the human world too." muttered Yukari as she kicked a stone along the ground.

She emerged from a densely wooded area to the edge of a sunflower field and moved to side down atop some fallen timber. However, before she could take a seat, she heard a female voice calling for help from the sunflower garden.

"Help me! Somebody help me! This garden! Help please!"

Running over to where she heard the voice, she froze in shock as discovered a dark haired human girl with pigtails in a baseball cap grabbing onto the hand of her friend.

"Who are you?" asked Yukari, a frown forming on her face.

The girl was startled by her appearance, "Why are you dressed so strangely? Oh my god! You're a witch, aren't you!"

Yukari scoffed and turned on her hells to march away, "Sorry, my mistake. I thought someone was actually in trouble. It's only some human stranger."

"Wait! Don't leave! Please help! My sempai is being eaten by the plants! Please help her!" pleaded the girl.

Yukari froze in her tracks as the girl continued, "It's not her fault, please help me save her. I only dared her to come here because she was afraid! If she hadn't come, she wouldn't have been attack by the sunflowers!"

Yukari turned and looked more closely at the girl she was trying to free. The other girl had short dark hair and her eyes had gone dull as several plants had attached to her skin like leeches. She was barely breathing.

_'How can this be? A plant feeding on a human?'_ thought a puzzled Yukari. "It must be a magical plant. It's a plant monster that feeds on humans like a venus flytrap!"

Right on cue a massive squash like plant monster with a huge Venus flytrap shaped mouth rose from the ground with a roar baring it's massive fangs at Yukari and the two girls.

"A Garigarious? But that's impossible! It's only supposed to appear in the supernatural world!" exclaimed Yukari in shock.

**"FOOD...EAT...EAT FOOD!"** roared the plant monster as it set its sights on Yukari and darted down to eat her.

Yukari leaped back out of the way to avoid becoming it's lunch. The monster twirled its head around to try again, but this time Yukari was waiting for it.

"Try eating vegetarian!" she shouted will throwing some tarot cards at the plant beast. With the aid of her magic wand, the cards became just like blades and cut the monster to pieces. Unfortunately this was not the end of the battle as several more the same type of monster sprouted from the ground of the sunflower garden.

**"FOOD...FOOD...FOOD...FOOD..."**

Yukari couldn't believe it, "There's so many of them, the must be behind all the people vanishing. They're eating them..."

Yukari tried to escape from the carnivorous plants, but one managed to trip her up with its vines. Wrapping her up with the vines it yanked her towards it's mouth, only to be prevented from eating her due its brethren attacking it claim her as a meal.

_'This is so stupid! I told them I had a bad premonition about the human world. I knew this trip was ill-fated and now I'm going to be eaten! I wish someone was here right now, anyone to help me!'_

Hidden in the treetops of the neighboring woodlands were the crouched forms of Kurama and Naruto.

"It would be best to step in at this time." advised Kurama.

Naruto narrowed his eyes, "I was hoping she'd come through on her own. I guess she needs a little spark."

Yukari had resigned herself to her fate, closing her eyes and waiting the inevitable feeling of being torn apart by the teeth of the Garigarious and eaten alive. When the sensation never came, she opened her eyes to find herself standing at the edge of the sunflower field and out of danger. Directly in front of her were the Garigarious plants, one of them in the process of eating Naruto.

"No! Naruto!" screamed Yukari as she reacted to her close friend now being in the midst of danger. Her eyes sharpened along with her resolve as she fearlessly charged right into the hoard of carnivorous plants with a defiant gleam in her eye.

"Witch-san! Look out!" called out the young girl in the cap, who managed to free her friend thanks to the plants being distracted by Naruto and Yukari.

Yukari paid her warning no mind as she concentrated on harnessing her magic, _'If I increase the attack force, I should be able to wipe them all out in one shot. I need the full magic of this spell.'_

"I won't let you eat my friend! Leave him alone!" screamed the young witch as she unleashed massive tarot card blade attack. The cards all fluttered about, slicing and dicing the monsters to pieces_. _Yukari kept running towards the one plant that had trying to eat Naruto. As a tarot card ripped the plant beast in half, she saw the form of Naruto fall to the ground before vanishing in a puff of smoke. Turning around she found the real Naruto waving at her at the edge of the sunflower.

Realizing she'd been tricked, there was only one course of action, raise her wand and summon a massive log to nail Naruto in the back of the head, "YOU BAKA!"

The young girl charged him and tackled him afterwards, nearly toppling him over as she pounded her fists into his chest, "I really thought they were going to eat you!"

Naruto patted her back with his left hand while his right massaged the back of his head, "It's okay. I just didn't want you to be afraid anymore."

She stopped beating on his chest and wiped away the tears coming down her cheeks, "I know, it was just so hard...thank you."

With that said, the tired young witch passed out in his arms, completely spent from killing all the monsters. This was the sight that Moka and Kurumu arrived to.

"Yukari-chan! Is she okay?" exclaimed a concerned Moka as she rushed over.

"Yeah, she tired herself out from beating all these monsters." replied Naruto._  
_

"Wow! I can't believe she just beat all these plant things!" exclaimed Moka as her eyes widened and she looked around. .

Kurumu smiled and patted Yukari on the head, "It's to be expected. She is a genius after all."

Handing Yukari over to Moka, Naruto felt a shadow clone dispel, alerting him that Kurama was moving away from the clearing. There had been a second reason they had initially held back from interfering in Yukari's battle, an unknown person had been observing the scene when they arrived. They wanted to wait for this person to reveal themselves. Kurama had moved to track the presence once they fled the area after the battle was over, but he lost who ever it was in the woodlands going further up the mountain. He doubled back to the sunflower seed field, intent on collecting some seeds from the field that had been used to grow the carnivorous plants.

_'Perhaps we can track how the seeds for the Garigarious came to be in this area. They must have been smuggled from the demon world somehow...'_ pondered Kurama._  
_

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The spectator Kurama was unable to track through the woods, turned out to be a young dark haired girl in a tattered cloak. Aware of her pursuer, shee took the long way around the mountain before coming back to a small ranch that was not too far from the sun flower field. She entered the main house and stopped in the living room a short way behind an older woman in a rocking chair wearing a hooded cloak.

"Mistress Yukata, the plants we entrusted with acting as guardians over our sunflower field were destroyed...by a witch nonetheless." spoke the girl.

While initially upset at her plants being destroyed, the woman's mood shifted on hearing who had done the deed, "You're telling there is another witch here? On my hill?"

"Yes, although she is quite young, she possesses very strong magic." replied the dark haired girl.

"This is quite intriguing. It has been many years since we've encountered a real witch." muttered Yukata. "What an opportunity we've come across here! We shall bring her into the fold, we are of the same blood after all. Also, plant a few seeds close to the main tree. No need to chance it's safety when it is so close to bearing fruit now."

Her subordinate bowed, "As you wish, Yukata-sama."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Back the sunflower field, Moka was tending to Yukari as Naruto and Kurumu moved about the field collecting her tarot cards used in the battle.

Kurumu let out a sigh as she picked up another card, "I don't understand that girl. If she has the power to defeat these monsters, than why is she so afraid of the human world?"

Moka shrugged, "I guess there are a lot of things we don't know about her. She's not like the rest of us being a hybrid of humans and youkai."

A look over understanding flashed across Naruto's face, "I suppose it would be tough. At school she get's harassed for not being a real monster, and her in the human world they've persecuted witches in the past too. Stuck in isolation, not truly fitting in with either crowd? It's a feeling not many people understand. I guess no matter where you go it's difficult for people to look past preconceived notions and try to understand each other."

Before they could begin to digest his words, the two human girls that Yukari had rescued made their presence known again.

"Is Yukari-chan doing okay? Is she awake yet?" asked the girl in the cap. "I want to thank her for saving sempai."

"She saved you too, Youko." replied her friend.

"Um, no not yet." nervously replied Moka.

The pink haired vampire hugged Yukari closer to her body as Youko came and sat down close to her, "Is Yukari-chan the witch that lives on this hill?"

"No, she's not. We're not from around here, only here to visit the area for a research trip." informed Naruto.

"Oh, I guess was wrong." she replied with a frown. "Since this place has the legend of the with that lives here, I was hoping to see her. They'll call this place Witch's Ranch or Witch's hill because of the legend of a with living here. After they decided to start construction up here on the factory is when the people started turning up missing. People have become scared, thinking they angered the witch and brought down her divine punishment on the land."

Yukari managed to regain consciousness right before her speech, as she wasn't happy, "You humans shouldn't go blaming witches for things you can't understand. You don't know anything about witches, so don't blame witches without any proof."

"Yukari-chan! You're okay!" exclaimed Moka.

"Thank god you're alright!" added Kurumu.

Remembering the succubus taunting her before she left the cabin, Yukari blew her off. Kurumu shrugged it off, expecting it.

"We probably shouldn't stick around in this place for too long if it's so dangerous. Let's head back into town where our motel is located. We can meet up with Botan-sensei and Nekonome-sensei to report the incident." suggested Moka.

Yukari nodded, "Sounds good to me."

"We can probably give you a ride, even though there are more than five of us, we are pretty close to town." offered the girl Yukari had inadvertently saved.

"Really? Thanks a lot! That will be such a great help to us." replied Moka with a grateful smile.

As the girls turned to head towards the vehicle, Kurumu noticed that Naruto wasn't following.

"You coming, Naruto?" asked Kurumu.

"Go on ahead, I've got more work to do. Waiting on my teammate for this assignment to return." replied Naruto. As soon as he said this, Kurama emerged from the trees. "Speak of the devil and he shall appear."

Naruto introduced his partner in crime as he walked up, "Girls this is Kurama. Kurama, these are the girls."

"Hi, nice to meet you!" politely greeted the red haired boy with a wave.

All the girls except Kurumu replied kindly in turn, the blue haired girl narrowing her eyes at him, "You've been ditching us to hang out with another a girl?"

Naruto looked at the succubus as if she was insane, "What are you talking about? Kurama's a guy!"

"That's a boy?" Kurumu's mind suddenly took a strange turn, blood began to drip out her nose. "Boy's love?"

Naruto didn't know for sure, but he had a general idea of where her mind was going. He marched up to the blue haired girl and flicked the tip of her ear, bringing her back to the real world, "OWWW! That hurt!"

"Then don't go thinking such stupid thoughts!" shouted Naruto. "Freaking disgusting!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

As the girls all crammed into the small car to head back into the city, their observer had returned to spy on them. Having discarded her cloak, she could now be clearly scene in her black sleeveless top, long flowing orange skirt, nylon stockings and black shoes. She also possess a decorated sash around her waste and thin nylon arm warmers that ran from her wrist to just below her shoulder. Her hair was styled with two white wraps that branched out two thick strands of her purplish brown hair to the sides of her head with two more long strands of hair running down the side of her face, framing it. Her most striking feature were her dark magenta eyes that shined with an intense ferocity as she looked down from her perch in the tree holding a sunflower and her wand.

"This is unforgivable master! Those humans ruined our gardens and simply left." she spoke aloud, her master able to communicate telepathically with her from the ranch.

'You're right Ruby, those retched humans do need to pay!' sneered Yukata. 'This is why we must bring our young tribe mate into the fold.'

"What about her companions?" asked Ruby.

'Most likely humans waiting to stab her in the back. Eliminate them if need be.' replied Yukata dismissively. 'It is important that we strengthen our numbers as much as we can before we take a stand against the humans. We must protect our lands and punish the humans who greedily want to take it away from us.'

"What about the two boys still here looking around?" questioned Ruby.

'I'll make sure the cultured humans and Ivynomos you just planted handle those two nosy fools snooping around where they don't belong.' replied Yukata. 'You follow the young witch into the city, separate her from her companion, and bring her back here to me. Can you do that for me, my beloved disciple?'

"I understand master." responded Ruby.

Using her wand, the young witch cast a transformation spell and turned into a crow. The sunflower and wand formerly in her hands were now in her beak as she took off across the skies, following the car towards the city.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Naruto stood patiently as Kurama remained crouched over the ground with his hands in the soil of the sunflower field. There really wasn't much for the blond to do as the case was shaping up to be in Kurama's area of plant expertise. While patient for the moment, he still couldn't figure out why the redhead seemed to be simply messing around in the dirt for the past fifteen minutes.

As if sensing his question, Kurama provided an explanation, "I spread a few crescent seeds around the area earlier before we discovered the Gargarious plants. I could feel the unusual spirit energy from the sunflower field, and I'd thought the seeds would help pick up any spirit energy underground and help me detect if the missing people had been buried here underground."

Naruto tilted his head as he considered the facts, "The monster plants changed everything though."

Kurama nodded, "The Garigarious plants have not been eating the humans. Notice they only emerged when Yukari approached the field, they reacted to her yokai energy. That other human girl was getting pulled underground and something was trying to leech her spirit energy."

"So the big man eating plants were only serving as guard dogs. What ever is killing people is still around here somewhere." reasoned Naruto.

Kurama rose to his feet, dusting his hands off, "I fear it is much worse than that, but I can't say for sure yet. I've picked up the flow of the spirit engery underground, we can hopefully follow it back to the source."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

They'd found their two female sensei's at a tea shop that was right next to a sushi bar. Moka and Kurumu blended in just fine outside of the occasional group of leering pervs. Yukari was thoroughly annoyed by the amount of people bugging her and asking what type of cosplay her outfit was supposed to be. As Moka gave the details of what happened with Yukari up at the sunflower field, Shizuka ignored the fierce glare directed at her courtesy of Botan. She was furious that the teacher had set the focus of their research trip to be the exact same as the case Naruto was handling. The cat woman paid her no mind, happily munching away at the pile of sushi on the plate in front of her. Ruby stood on a rooftop across the street, keeping a close eye on Yukari and her demeanor.

She smirked as she saw Yukari angrily dismiss another pair of people interested in her supposed cosplay, "It's just what I thought would happen. Witches can't possible live together in the city with humans. It's a fools dream, soon you too will understand..."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"There's nothing coming from there. The place is abandoned." informed Kurama as the pair looked upon Witch's Ranch from its outskirts.

Naruto shrugged, "It's such an obvious place that you might be able to hide in plan sight, but maybe it's too obvious even for that."

Kurama quirked an eyebrow at him, "That almost makes sense."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Whatever."

The bypassed the small ranch on their way through a forested area before coming out at a green hilly area that over looked the ranch and the sunflower field a short ways down from the ranch. Kurama suddenly brought them to halt at the crest of a hill. In front of them hundreds of humanoid shaped figures sprouted from the ground. They were composed of soil and decomposed plant leaves and roots. Their faces were expressionless and they trudged around like zombies.

"Cultured humans again." muttered Naruto. "We ran into these things at Maze Castle."

"What ever is going on here is no accident. Whether it be a witch like the rumors say or a demon, someone is trying to siphon off human spirit energy. I suspect it is to nurture and feed a greater demonic plant." asserted Kurama.

"Then we'll worry about figuring out who is behind this later. We should focus on finding and destroying that plant." stated Naruto.

Kurama nodded in agreement as he pulled a rose out of his pocket, and created a rose whip. At the same time Naruto brought out a couple of fuuma shuriken and charged them up with some his electrical energy. Throwing the two large spinning weapons forward, he used the shadow shuriken technique in conjunction to multiply the two weapons into twelve. With Naruto mowing the creatures down with his guided blades and Kurama hacking away with his rose whip, they made quick work of the cultured humans in about ten minutes. The creatures put up little resistance, it was only their sheer number that proved to be a nuisance.

Kurama stuck his fist into the ground again, "I believe our target is the tree at the top of the hill to the left."

Picking up the pace the duo made their way up the hillside only to come to halt again as the ground rumbled and several snarling creatures emerged from underground. There were about a dozen four and a half foot tall beasts, whose body were composed tangled vines of of ivy. Their eyes where illuminated by a strange yellow glow.

Kurama recognized them, "These are plants are more along the vicious nature of the Garigarious, Ivynomos also known as Ivymen. Quick growing aggressive plant, who draw their power from solar energy. Be careful when eliminating them-"

The redhead was cut off when Naruto fired a kunai with an explosive tag at one the Ivymen. It it embedded in the creatures shoulder before exploding, triggering an explosion far larger than a normal explosion tag. The explosion caused the two Ivymen standing on each side of it, to blow up as well. The force and heat from the blasts knocked Kurama and Naruto back quite a ways where they landed on their asses.

Kurama shot him a deadpan look as he stood up, "-They tend to go out in quite the explosive manner."

Naruto scratched the back, "This just makes it more fun! Who doesn't like explosions?"

"Look out!" shouted Kurama, but it was too late. A Ivyman suddenly shot up out of the ground from behind Naruto and wrapped himself tightly around the blond. Naruto struggled and summoned his electrical aura to try and break free, but the hold of the creature was too great. The plant warrior suddenly glowed with energy as he absorbed sunlight and exploded. At the last second Naruto substituted himself with another Ivyman, triggering another super explosion from their combined explosive power.

Naruto laughed from across the hill as the smoke and debris cleared, "Now that, was impressive! Like I said before, who doesn't like big explosions? They are way too fun!"

The slightly smoldering Kurama raised his hand from where he'd been knocked on his ass again, "I'm not particularly fond of them."

* * *

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**I plan on covering this arc in three installments. Kudos to anyone who gets the title reference.** **DMF out!**


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